Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Oct 29, 2020 20:36:12 GMT -6
If you want to see if real prettylike go to this link drive.google.com/file/d/0B-8YUmKSXvLBWlotZDZfRXlfLWM/view?usp=sharing
That's the PDF version of the show and is downloadable. Shows even come with mp3 files built into the pdf for a more immersive viewing.
Legendary #1
Apex Superstar Alliance heads to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia for their very first show! (Ignore what the arena really says...obsolete info there). Will they be able to hold their first show without incident, or will Carthage send out a raiding party to remind the ASA management that there remains only one true sponsored wrestling company? Watch as contestants fight for the right to face Jessica Tendonin for the ASA Ascension championship! Who will be the one to face her down in the ring?
Welcome to Africa
In a meeting room at the arena, Terel Walker and Allen Anderson sit at a table. It isn't long before Sebastian Basurto and Captain Trevor Maathai come in and join them at the table.
Basutro: "Everything is set up in the city. We found all of the staff we needed for the event from a local staffing company."
Walker: "Good then. Hopefully, we can get through this event done with-"
The door is kicked in and a rather large Italian looking man steps in through the door with a six foot tall warhammer. Though he's set off a bit by wearing just a pair of overalls.
"I know where Montana is!"
Anderson looks at Walker curiously and all go to stare at the man.
Anderson: "So do we all? What's in Montana?"
The man gives Anderson a blank stare with the warhammer over his shoulder.
"My name is Dalton James and I am Italy!"
Anderson: "Okay?"
"I am Italy and I know where effing Montana is!"
Anderson: "So...if you're applying for the crazy person position, we already have Terel Walker."
Walker: "Hey!"
"I am RandiG and I am here to kill you all!"
Basurto: "I thought you said your name was Dalton James?"
Maathai: "Or was it Italy?"
Walker: "Is it JC?"
The man blinks rapidly, looking between them all as if he's trying to decide how to respond.
Anderson: "Why would an Italy want to know where a Montana is?"
Man: "Umm that city is miles from here!"
Walker: "There's a lot of miles between Italy and Montana. Are you alright?"
Man: "Yes, I...no...I'm Dalton...JC...RandiG...Italy...the Cardinal says DIE!"
Captain Maathai draws a sidearm and shoots the man in the left eye. He sputters a bit more, but then falls like a felled tree to the floor onto his face.
Maathai: "It's almost as if the Cardinal didn't care if you really died or not. Do you think he knew that he hired some maniac with a broken brain as an assassin?"
Anderson shakes his head with a laugh.
Anderson: "Maybe he condemned the rest of his good people to work in Desolation? God knows..."
"God does know. He knows more than you know, and Cardinal Mariano Urizar says that you must die for your sins!"
The man places his hands on the floor and begins pushing himself up from the floor with a line of blood, bone, and brains trailing from his head to the floor. He gets to his feet, looking around at the men in the room with his one remaining good eye.
Man: "I take you all to Hell with me!"
Captain Maathai stands up and empties the clip of his side arm into the man's chest, but he doesn't fall. The man knocks Captain Maathai and Sebastian Basutro to the side while reaching for Anderson.
Man: "The Cardinal said to break every bone in your body before letting you die!"
Anderson: "Walker! If you have any left over power from that magic bauble, it'd be time to use it!"
Terel focuses his attentions and points a finger at the man before shouting a word in an unknown language.
A beam of energy comes from Terel's finger, widening to a cone that envelops the entire top of the man.
The man screams as his top half burns away to ash. Captain Maathai and Sebastian Basurto pick up their chairs to sit back down at the table.
Anderson: "So, do you have everything handled here? Once the show begins, Walker and I are going to a meeting with diplomatic officials with the local nations to use Ethiopia, the Sudan, and the Red Sea as staging points to invade into the belly of Carthage."
Basurto: "Wouldn't sailing into the Straits of Gibraltar be just as easy?"
Walker shakes his head with a chuckle.
Walker: "Carthage owns the land on either side of that entrance and partols it heavily. There's even word of mammoth floating fortresses to keep the Mediteranean Sea closed off to those not of British, Carthagian, or Russian navies. So we have this location and a few locations in the North Sea to look at."
Maathai: "Suppose we just found a way to take out the Three Siblings? Wouldn't the rest be easier?"
Anderson: "I wish. Things would fall into even greater chaos I fear as factions currently being controlled by Thamptis would begin waging war on each other and the rest of the world. One step at a time here is best instead of going for the head. Gather our allies in this war and then once we have begun fighting, then we can see about splitting them against each other by taking out these beings."
Basurto: "There isn't any strong military powers in this region. You think they will ally with enemies of the Three Empires? The general population is afraid that Carthage could sweep through Sudan and annex Ethiopia at anytime."
Anderson sighs with a nod.
Anderson: "I won't lie. I don't feel that this meeting is going to end very well. Still, President Lee put his trust in us, and so we will try."
Walker: "If we don't return by the end of the show, load up all the ASA people you can find and make way for Richmond to inform the President of our failure. Then, run the company as your own, but stay where it's safe."
Basurto: "But-"
Walker: "Do as I tell you! The world has had enough dead heroes."
Basurto: "Understood."
Anderson: "Well? Shall we go out there and address the fans before we go out?"
Walker: "Let's go."
Opening
The screens around the arena blaze to life with dramatic music with different screens showing different parts of an excited crowd.
Terel Walker and Allen Anderson are brough from the home team entrance on the back of a cart to the ring. Anderson leaning on a dark wooden cane with a red gemstone on the top, glowing dimly against all of the lights. Both men climb into the ring, taking in the cheers of the fans.
Walker: "Welcome to the official relaunch of Apex Superstar Alliance! Tonight, we will bear witness to an epic match to see who can Ascend to the Top and challenge Jessica Tendonin for her championship. This championship is the main workhorse of the company as it reveals who can be the best in seeing who can defeat the ASA World champion, Troy Adkins!"
The crowd begins to boo Troy Adkins, but Terel just smiles.
Anderson: "It won't be an easy match for those gunning for the top tonight since there will be all kinds of twisted tasks ahead of them in addition to fighting each other."
Walker: "Good luck to everyone in the match tonight!"
One by one the screens change to show each of the teams involved in the big match. The Fight through the City.
Walker: "And as a popular movie said once...there can be only one!"
As if on cue, all of the screens change to a view of "Guttertrash" Troy Adkins, who smiles and waves at the camera.
Adkins: "Why hello, my friends. I think I heard my name mentioned. The winner of this Ascension championship might eventually get a shot at me and my belt? I find the concept laughable. Do you think any of these little people can challenge me? They call me Hoskuld Lokison, Asgardian God of Excess! The Lady Sif is my Baby Momma! There's not a soul in this buiding that can defeat me!"
Anderson raises his hand with a bright smile like that annoying kid in class that knows all of the answers.
Anderson: "To be technical, none of the athletes that could eventually challenge you in the ring to take that title are inside of the building. So, you are correct at this exact moment."
Troy peers closer to the camera as if trying to look down at Anderson with a raised eyebrow.
Adkins: "Don't you own that failed wrestling company? What was it Wimpy Wrestling International or something? Why are you here?"
Anderson shakes his head, looking to Terel Walker with a chuckle.
Anderson: "What a prankster! Where did you find this one?"
Walker: "Him? Troy Adkins? He was the Chemical Specialist for Johnathan Mills. He has been adopted by Loki to be transformed into this Hoskuld Lokison. Don't let him fool you though, his real name is-"
Adkins: "Now! Now! Now! Let's not start whipping out dirty laundry here. I paid my dues for helping that genocidal madman! And now, I am the ASA World champion with the God of Thunder as my Grand Uncle Step-Daddy of my child. Just wondering though...does that make the Lady Sif her Grand Aunt Mommy? Since she is married to my child's Grand Uncle and all. I'm pretty sure I'm just Daddy. God knows..."
Troy looks at all of the blank stares he's getting from the ring and the crowd before laughing out loud.
Adkins: "Wait, that means I know because I AM a God! Ha!"
Anderson: "Walker...I would have sent you talent so he could have been shot in the head before becoming...this."
Walker: "You would have sent me talent to avoid having to use Adkins? Would you have spared me Devereaux? Bacchus? Kronin?"
Anderson: "I think your World champion mentioned something about no dirty laundry? We're going to have a great show tonight! Let's find out who will face Jessica Tendonin for the Ascension championship tonight!"
The crowd cheer, though it helps with the free tickets and free food.
Walker: "Get this fool off the screens! He knows that his days as champion are numbered!"
The screens go black one by one until all is silent.
Walker: "Also, if you were able to buy a program. Get your picks in for who will win the Battle through the City in andget set into a drawing to win a set of ten lifetime tickets good for VIP passes for ALL ASA events! Travel, lodging, and food all provided for every show! You can continue to pick until the first elimination!"
With the crowd cheering, Anderson and Walker make their way to the back on the cart.
Battle Through the City
Sanchez: "This match needs no introductions as well...our cameras will be searching for them as we go along. We will probably stay pretty quiet about it through out unless something stunning happens."
Kemp: "So what you're saying is that instead of using that pretty mouth to talk about the match, you're going to keep it full of Kenneth Man Meat."
Sanchez: "Are you kidding me right now?"
Kemp: "C'mon, babe. You know you wanna bounce this baby off your tonsils like hitting a punching bag."
The giant screens installed in the arena for this match light up and the first thing we see is the Yekatit 12 Square where a monument stands to honor the Ethiopians who died to stand up to the Italian Fascists during their occupation before the start of World War II.
Terence Jennings, Will York, and Elliot Lytle stand next to the monument while looking at their cards.
Jennings: "It says here that we have to go to a this corner on the map and shark a pretty woman and give her a bad touch."
Lytle: "So do we bite her? That's a pretty bad touch."
York: "Yo, I think we bite her and I think that was some wrestler's finishing move. So we bite her and use a wrestling finisher on her."
A man stops by the monument, giving the sign of the cross. He's about to leave when he notices Will York leaning against the monument. He begins angrily speaking to Will, who just looks at him curiously.
Will: "You think he's explaining how to shark someone?"
Jennings: "No clue? I don't understand a word of what he's saying. Is that Spanish?"
Lytle: "Don't be an idiot, we ain't in Mexico."
The man starts to go red in the face, bringing other people over to see what's going on. Then they begin yelling at the trio as well. The first man slaps Will's hand away from the monument, causing him to fall against it.
York: "You little mother-"
Will York is up quickly, leveling the man that pushed him with a single punch.
York: "Take that ya commie bastard!"
Lytle: "I don't think we're in Russia either."
Jennings: "The Russians aren't even Commies anymore."
York: "Oh yeah, then who-"
Lytle: "Less talking, more fighting!"
The crowd begin to press upon the three Warhawks, swinging with angry fists and shouting in their native language. The three begins fighting their way out of things, even going as far as using people as weapons to clear a path for them to get free.
Will York grabs the first guy by the bac he stands, and smashes his face into the monument. The crowd gasp and fall back as teeth and blood splatter across the stone monument.
Jenning: "Now's our chance! Go!"
The three take off running from the location while the people attend to the downed man and curse at them in their native language. They keep glancing at their cards to follow the directions to their first checkpoint.
Lytle: "Maybe someone could research the term Sharking on their phone?"
York: "On it."
**********************
At the Hager Fikir Theater on the stage is where we find Boris Drago, Dasha, and Candice Kingston. They stare at the gathered crowd as their cards light up to inform them of the start of the match.
Dasha: "It says we have to do down several blocks here to this street vendor and eat the food he offers."
Dasha and Candice are about to leave the stage, when Boris puts a hand on each shoulder.
Boris: "We on stage. Should we perform for minute?"
Candice looks out at the people watching to see if they would be doing anything with a sneer.
Kingston: "Why would we do anything for them?"
Boris points to off stage where the actors are waiting for them to leave.
Boris: "Because Boris feel bad for making nice people wait."
Dasha sighs, looking down at her card. At the very least this isn't a race, all they have to do is make it to the arena and one of them win.
Dasha: "Fine. Do something quickly so we can move out!"
Boris gets a microphone, nervously looking out at the crowd.
Boris: "Mary had little...sheep. Little...Boris think goat. Little goat. Mary had little...maybe Boris think it cow. Mary had...cow not little! Boris know that!"
The crowd begins to boo as Boris tries to work through the song. That is until a tomato hits him in the shoulder.
Boris: "Boris out!"
Dasha and Candice follow behind the large Russian man as he plows through the crowd to get to the exit.
Boris "EVERYBODY MOVE!"
Dasha: "When you get outside, we're going left!"
******************
At a cemetery filled with the graves of those of the Muslim religion, Marty Sandal, Khloe Kapla, and Plate Gilby stand next to a large headstone when they see that their cards have become active to begin the match.
Sandal: "So we have to go to this church and give the sign of the cross? That's not so bad."
Kapla: "Except for that's a mosque. According to what this card says."
Sandal: "Oh *beep*"
Plate Gilby looks at the concern on the faces of the two for a moment, finally blurting out.
Gilby: "What in the world are you two little women prattling on about?"
Sandal: "Muslims would feel like they need to take down anyone who gave the sign of the cross in front of them."
Gilby: "They can try. What's this sign?"
Khloe: "I see it here, and it looks simple enough. Let me try..."
Khloe performs the sign of the cross and Plate Gilby smiles.
Gilby: "I guess it gets the kind of attention that you thought that it would."
Marty taps her on the shoulder and she looks over to see five men running her way and shouting angrily at her in their native language. Plate Gilby grasps at the headstone, getting it lifted up over his head. When the five men stop to look upon him in shock, Gilby tosses the headstone at them. The headstone pins two of them to the ground with the other three trying to help their friends get free.
Gilby: "Great fun. So, lets get to this mosque so we can make more people mad and then smash them."
**************
At the Ethiopian Federal Police HQ...the front desk to be most specific. Dixie Clement, Father Nathan, and a mysterious person in long brown robes that hide both face and gender of the person. They look down at their cards to see them go live to show them that the match has started.
Nathan: "Go to a street vendor and eat what he offers you before checkpoint will become active. Are you sure the Ascension title is really that important?"
Clement: "You can hang with it, partner! Back at the ranch, you ate every part of the animal out of respect. And I do mean every part!"
The person in the brown robes retches a bit, but doesn't reveal any clue of who he/she is. When voice is heard, it is a scrambled neutral voice.
Mystery: "I just hope to God they will also serve some booze or they might have a lap full of vomit."
The three go to walk out of the front door, when a man stops them in their tracks. He points at the mystery person.
Police: "You just going to walk out of the place with that person? Do you even know who this person is? A he? A she? Some kind of person who wants to shoot you as soon as you walk out of the building?"
Dixie and Nathan look at each other and shrug.
Nathan: "It's a pro wrestling thing. You wouldn't understand."
When the man's expression doesn't change, Dixie just chuckles.
Clement: "We never said that it was a really smart thing."
The police officer looks at the three of them for a moment before raising both eyebrows and shaking his head.
Police: "Well? I did warn you."
As the three walk out of the police hq, they look at directions that are on their cards to see what way to go.
Father: "When you say everything was eaten..."
Clement: "You ain't lived until you had grilled bullsack tacos with chilis and lime. Hooo wee!"
Mystery: "Oh God..."
********************
At the Merkato Market by the oranges, Trainwreck and Longbeard look at their cards and wait for them to come on to signify the start of the match. Tarrasque grabs oranges one by one, shoving them into his mouth whole and chewing happily while squirting juice everywhere.
The shop keeper who owns the oranges looks very upset, but stays clear of Tarrasque as he randomly samples of the fruit.
Trainwreck: "It says that we have to go here. Then we have to shark a pretty woman and give her a bad touch? What is this?"
Longbeard: "So we back hand her after we shark her? How does one shark a woman, beast?"
Tarrasque looks up, his face covered in bits of different fruits with half an eaten grapefruit in his hand. He turns, spitting the seeds machinegun style at the shop owner and shrugs.
Tarrasque: "Shark eat people. You eat woman! Bad touch not hit. Me know bad touch, you never touch girl here or here unless she say ok."
Tarrasque uses the half-eaten grapefruit to motion around his privates and his chest.
Tarrasque: "So we eat woman and then touch her. She no complain after you eat head..."
The shop owner taps Tarrasque on the shoulder. He turns to see what the owner wants and is shown a video on a smart phone.
Owner: "This eating a woman."
Tarrasque watches the video for a few minutes with a look of interest until the sound of a woman's orgasmic can be heard. Tarrasque's eyes go wide in shock.
Tarrasque: "THAT WHAT WE MUST DO?"
Owner: "Sure, seems like it, buddy. You guys better get going..."
The Shop Owner watches on as Tarrasque, Longbeard, and Trainwreck leave with a chuckle.
Owner: "I can hear it now...ravish...ravish...ravish..."
********************
Inside of the Amanuel Mental Hospital, Frietag stands by a roll out bed where lays Harry Houndini in a straightjacket. Frietag shakes his head at Harry, who shrugs.
Houdini: "What? I wanted to make things interesting. Where's that other guy? Lyght?"
Frietag: "No, he got replaced. His name is...let's just call him Fred for now."
Harry rolls off of the gurney away from the camera, falling to the floor. A man in a hospital gown begins shaking Fritag's hand and rubbing his shoulder at the same time. He speaks in his native language, but all Frietag can do is smile and nod.
Harry leaps to his feet without the straightjacket being on him only seconds later, he has his card in his hand.
Houdini: "We are supposed to go to this mosque and give the sign of the cross. Where's Fred?"
Frietag looks around at the other patients in the room before shrugging.
Frietag: "What does Fred look like?"
Houndini: "Let me get this straight. You don't know his name, so you called him Fred. You also don't know what he looks like so he could be in this room right now and we wouldn't know it?"
Frietag: "Well, when you put it like that..."
Harry Houndini cups his hands to his mouth and yells as loud as he can.
Houndini: "Guy who's supposed to be our partner in this match, we're going to follow the directions on the card to go get lynched by an angry Muslim crowd once we piss them off. Come on with us if you're coming!"
******************
At an apparently random street corner...that also happens to be a notorious hang out location for those seeking "paid for love" in Addis Ababa. We see Terence Jennings, Will York, and Elliot Lytle walking down the sidewalk, their eyes open wide to the scandously clad women all around.
At another corner, Tarrasque, Trainwreck, and Longbeard are walking down to the corner while watching all of the women try to flag down customers.
Longbeard: "Are you sure that this is what we're supposed to be doing? I mean...umm."
Tarrasque looks at the women with a grin and no small amount of drool trailing to his chest.
Tarrasque: "Me think so. Why would not?"
And that's when the two teams meet each other at the corner...
Trainwreck: "Should we get those guys?"
Tarrasque: "Yup..."
Tarrasque spears Elliot Lytle around the midsection, lifting him up, and slamming him into a brick wall. Mind, since it's not a corner in a wrestling ring, he also puts his own head through a shop glass window.
Jennings: "Get them!"
Terence Jennings rushes at Longbeard, but is grabbed up in quick fashion and dropped in a backbreaker over Longbeard's knee. Trainwreck meets Will York's charge head on...literally. He ducks his head down and catches Will York in the midsection before tossing him with a back drop.
Tarrasque rolls over to leaning against the building, blood streaming down his face from breaking the glass. Elliot Lytle puts a knee to Tarrasque's leg to pin him down and begins wailing on him with lefts and rights.
Longbeard places a foot on Terence's chest and grabs his mace with a smile.
Longbeard: "I've always wanted to play what you humans called golf, but the clubs were too long. Maybe I can use my mace. You just smash the little white balls, right?"
Trainwreck picks Will York up by the hair into a sitting position, and is ready to slam a fist in his face when-
Jennings: "I give! I give! Just leave the boys alone!"
"What the fuck is going on here?"
Everyone stops what they're doing to look at a tall woman in a black miniskirt, red fishnet stockings, and a red tube top. She holds a smoking cigarette in one hand with her other hand on her hip.
"How the fuck are we going to make our money with you idiots fighting over here? Quit it!"
Elliot Lytle walks over with a crooked smile.
Lytle: "I'm so sorry that we bothered you, miss. It's just that-"
With one hand, Elliot rips the tube top down and the other, he tweaks a nipple. He gets out his card while the woman begins slapping him upside the head to see that the checkpoint has been acquired. Will York runs across the street, nearly being hit by a car, to rip down a woman's short and undies before giving her a goose. He laughs as his card also tells him that he has passed.
Longbeard looks down at Terence while he looks at his own card. Terence curses.
Jennings: "I'm out."
The woman that had her tube top pulled down looks at the men like they're quite crazy (no she hadn't bothered covering herself). She takes a drag from her cigarette as the Warhawks take off running.
"I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you people!"
Lytle: "Next stop...eliminate someone in a sewer tunnel at this location? Gross!"
York: "We can do it! Maybe we'll meet that guy with the beard again and bring him down! Avenge Terence's defeat!"
Jennings: "Yeah! Who said that short round could be using a metal club with a ball on it anyway?"
Trainwreck and Longbeard cross the street to quickly find their own targets while the woman stands in front of Tarrasque.
"So, someone tell you fucking idiots to come down here and get some free samples? What? Do you think hookers operate like fucking Shanghai Garden? We don't! Now cough up some fucking cash before I pierce your ball sack with a stiletto heel!"
Tarrasque laughs, ripping the woman's skirt away to reveal no panties, grabbing her legs, and going in for what he's been told about "sharking". Longbeard and Trainwreck return from meeting their checkpoint requirements (in the "right way" mind since they looked it up using the internet browser supplied on their cards). They look on in shock while the woman screams in a mixture of rage and passion.
Longbeard: "I'm not sure that is what they meant by sharking and bad touch..."
Trainwreck: "It IS a bad touch though..."
Longbeard: "What's next?"
Trainwreck: "Go say something offensive in Italian, wording provided, in front of a monument at this location."
Longbeard: "Sounds...bad. Hey, Tarrasque? You ready yet?"
Tarrasque sets the woman to the side, where she sits in shock in her nudity. He stands up, his face looking much like a glazed donut with a grin.
Tarrasque: "Me ready. Let's go!"
***********************
In front of a Muslim mosque, Father Nathan, Dixie Clement, and their mystery partner stand in front. Off to the side, they see Marty Sandal, Khloe Kapla, and Plate Gilby. As the six look upon the Muslim mosque with the people gathered in fron of it. They give the sign of the cross as if on cue.
Father Nathan: "I thought we were going to a street vendor to eat his wares? I didn't notice the directions changing!"
Clement: "You complaining?"
Father: "Maybe? Lot of angry people coming our way..."
Angry shouts fill the air, but Plate Gilby ignores the Muslins and points at the other team.
Gilby: "Crush them!"
A streak blurs through the air, catching Dixie Clement, and taking her away from the area. Father Nathan tries catching her, but fails.
Nathan: "Dixie!"
He turns to see the brown cloaked mystery person that was also on his team vanish into a crowd of angry Muslims.
Marty Sandal, Khloe Kapla, and Plate Gilby surround Father Nathan.
Kapla: "Are you sure this is the right thing to do? It is a three one one situation."
Plate Gilby grunts, throwing a back elbow that catches Khloe Kapla in the side of the head, and drops her to the ground. Father Nathan springs into action, leveling Marty Sandal with a Knockout Punch. He turns quickly, clocking Plate Gilby on the jaw with a roundhouse punch. Gilby just leers at Father Nathan.
Gilby: "I've felt babies hit harder than that!"
A mechanical voice says "One...Two...Three!"
Plate Gilby and Father Nathan look around to see Khloe Kapla on top of Marty Sandal with Marty being counted as pinned.
Gilby: "Stupid little cow. Take my left overs, preacher."
Plate Gilby walks away from Father Nathan with a harsh laugh.
Gilby: "When we meet again on this day, I'll make you wish that you had been crucified instead of your prophet!"
Plate Gilby looks down at his card as he walks.
Gilby: "Eliminate someone in the sewer at this location. Finally, something that makes some kind of sense!"
Father Nathan looks down at Khloe Kapla and contemplates pinning her, but then he scans the skies for where Dixie was taken to. He glances down at his card and curses suddenly in Irish.
Nathan: "Offend more people by a monument by saying something in Italian? Wording will be provided? They trying to get us killed? Where are you, Dixie?"
**********************
Harry Houdini and Frietag are in front of a local street vendor, who is selling primarily grilled meats. They do look rather confused though.
Houdini: "I thought we were going to be standing in front of a mosque?"
Frietag: "Says we should eat what is offered. Did you want to eat something or piss off Muslims?"
The Street Vendor leans out over the counter with a laugh.
Vendor: "You can be doing both at the same time if you don't accept my food! Shouldn't there be three of you?"
Frietag makes a show of looking around with a chuckle.
Frietag: "We had someone named Lyght on our team once. A Goblin King? He refused to come out to Ethiopia and so that failed. Our replacement was someone that I like to call Fred. Though it seems that Fred might be imaginary. So...if he comes, he comes."
The Street Vendor nods, handing out two different dishes to the man. To Harry, he hands a skewer of grilled chunks of camel hearts, livers, and lungs. To Frietag, he gives about a foot stretch of braided, grilled intestines. The Street Vendor looks back at Harry with wide open eyes to see that Harry has already eaten all of his food before Frietag has even taken a bite.
Houdini: "The next task is hit Scot Dunlop with your finishing move! It shows on a map where he is! See you when you catch up!"
Frietag nods, biting into his food. He frowns right away.
Frietag: "Is there a meat filling to this meat?"
Frietag reaches inside of the meat bundle, pulling out a grilled chunk of camel liver.
Vendor: "That was not put in there when I made it. Your friend must have some magic tricks. I guess you get to eat his share too! Ha!"
Frietag: "HARRY HOUDINI!"
*********************
Tendonin: "Enjoy your time with Candice, bitch!"
It's the last thing that Dixie Clement heard before being released into a roll by Jessica Tendonin. She bowls through a group of metal garbage cans and is stopped by a brick wall. Dixie sits up holding her head, blood running through her fingers.
Clement: "Get back here so I can plant my boot up your ass!"
Dixie gets up to her feet, using the wall as support, but gets grabbed by the collar and slammed back into the wall. Candice Kingston is in Dixie's face with a leering grin.
Kingston: "We've got business, you and I."
Dasha and Boris Drago stand a few feet away, watching the exchange take place with less than mild interest.
Boris: "You want Boris help?"
Kingston: "Nah, go enjoy your gross meals. I'll be there in a minute or two."
Clement: "Candice?"
Kingston: "What?"
Dixie turns out of the hold, hitting Candice in the back of the head with a Texas Justice that sends her face into the brick wall. Dixie pulls her down in a school girl cradle, giving Candice's pants a quick pull for good measure. A mechanical male's voice sounds out.
One...Two...Three!
Dixie Clement stands up from the stunned Candice with a chuckle, looking at her card.
Clement: "Say something in front of a monument to fallen Ethiopians in Italian, script to come? I hope that's where Father Nathan is heading!"
At the street vendor stand, the owner hands out dishes of food to both Boris and Dasha. They look down at their food. Boris has a bowl of sliced up...something in a red staining gravy. Dasha has a plate of dry roasted and seasoned crickets.
Boris: "Boris think this look like Borsht!"
Vendor: "It's sliced thin camel balls in a broth made from camel blood. Eat up."
While Boris and Dasha work on their food, Dixie walks past. She waves her hand with a cheery smile.
Clement: "That looks so tasty! I think I was to do that checkpoint, but it got changed. It it got changed to you guys, then...thanks?"
Dasha: "Next we hit Scot Dunlop with a finisher. Sounds like fun. Boris? Practice on her..."
Dixie doesn't have time to react as Boris pelts her in the head with the bowl he's been eating from. She tries to fight him away, but he lifts her up into the air in what's similar to a power bomb.
Boris: "Dasha sure Boris do this?"
Dasha: "Show he the Sea of Red and lets get going! We have a date with Dunlop!"
Boris nods and throws Dixie down to the pavement with enough strength and force to create an impact crater with a spider web of cracks going out from the point of impact. He turns and follows Dasha.
**********
Father Nathan walks through a tunnel that does underneath a highway...and under part of the city since the tunnel goes on for awhile and only lit by flickering electrical lamps.
"You're awful brave. Maybe you would like to appear in my next Transformers movie, the Ruse of the Quintessons?"
Father Nathan: "Michael Bay?"
Michael Bay steps out of the shadows, his skin as pale as death.
Bay: "I always wondered about the Catholic reaction to my work. Maybe you could provide one, Father?"
Michael steps closer to Father Nathan, but a silver cross with a wooden stake built in stops him in his tracks.
Nathan: "I think you have ruined the Transformers for at least one generation, if not two. You must go on to your judgment..."
Nathan swings the cross-stake at Michael, who sweeps out of the way, slashing down Father Nathan's arms with dirty sharp claws. Father Nathan spins, but Bay is away. He reappears a few feet down the tunnel, licking Father Nathan's blood off of his fingers with a smile.
Bay: "I think I saw you before. You were in Rome at the end of the war. The wrestling company you had worked for had thought that you had died, but you had lived. Were you trying to save souls from the wrath of my great grand-sire, Nebiryau? What he did to those priests who crossed his path...was delicious."
Father Nathan holds a hand over his head with the palm facing up.
Nathan: "There are many people in the world who think that the Curse of Caine is actually a gift of some kind. It is not called curse without good reason. You have died and have been cast out of the grace of God. Now if you had chosen to not embrace your power and sought to do His will, then we would not be having this discussion right now. As it stands, I cannot help one so corrupt with such a soiled soul as yourself and must help you in sending you on your way so that God may decide your eternal fate. Pray that he is more merciful than I would be after watching what you have done to the Transformers franchise."
The ground begins to shake and the tunnel above rips itself open to reveal bright sunlight (despite it being dusk outside of the tunnel) pouring in. Michael Bay begins to scream as his flesh begins to burn from the intense natural power. Father Nathan helps him along by driving the wooden stake into his heart. Michael Bay explodes into ashes.
The light fades to reveal no damage in the roof of the tunnel. Father Nathan continues to walk into the darkness, pocketing a small white stone the size of a marble.
Father Nathan: "Thank you, Lord, for the power of your cleansing holy light..."
****************
Elliot Lytle, Terence Jennings, and Will York are walking down the tunnels in the sewer below the city using their cards as flash lights when manhole covers don't provide enough light.
Lytle: "We're supposed to eliminate someone each here to pass? Or is it as a team, we should eliminate someone?"
York: "I think someone else is down here. The card doesn't say who. One person though, so if only one of us can pass here, would the other get a different check point? Which of us should beat the person?"
The probing lights of the cards lands on the leering face of Plate Gilby. His face is bloodsplattered and the carcass of a large lizard. Crocodile?
York: "We get to eliminate you? Nice!"
Gilby: "Think again."
Gilby grabs Will York by the side of the head and slams it into the stone wall with a wet crunching sound.
Terence moves in, but the corpse of the croc is tossed into him, knocking both into the putrid waters.
Plate Gilby laughs at Elliot Lytle, placing a boot onto Will's throat.
Gilby: "Give up or I crush his throat."
Elliot hits Gilby in the jaw with a fews lefts and rights to try to knock him away, but Gilby just laughs and spits out a bit of blood. A mechanical voice is heard in the background.
One...Two...Three!
Gilby: "Give up, or have this boy's death weighing on your soul."
Eilliot looks at Will and shakes his head.
Lytle: "I give-"
The breath explodes from Elliot's body as he is lifted up nearly to the roof of the tunnel by a punch to the midsection. Gilby had stepped off of Will to attack Elliot.
Gilby applies a chicken wing, slamming Elliot's face into the floor with a cruel chuckle.
Gilby: "Weak! Back home, you three would have died long ago. Torn apart by my own hand no doubt. So no what do you say?"
Lytle: "I give! I give! Just don't kill me!"
Plate Gilby releases Elliot, standing up and spitting on his back.
Gilby: "Good bye, little pukes."
Something catches Plate Gilby around the head, bringing him down in a bulldog to smash his face against the floor.
Plate Gilby is up quickly with a snarl.
Gilby: "If one of you War Hawks attacked me-"
Plate Gilby's eyes lock with those of Khloe Kapla. She stares back at him in a cold fury.
Kapla: "You foul git! You attacked me! We're on the same team!"
Plate Gilby smiles, holding out his card that says that he can proceed to the arena.
Gilby: "What does your card say?"
Khloe gets her card out, nearly snarling when she sees that it says that she may also proceed to the arena. Plate Gilby does a slow clap, enjoying the burning glare of hate from Khloe.
Gilby: "Go team go."
Kapla: "When we get into that ring and knock down the others, I'll be putting you down."
Gilby: "Oh yeah? A thought occurred to me, once the other teams are defeated and I crush you, there might be an opening on my crotch in celebration of my win over that little cow called Tendonin."
Khloe Kapla shakes her head, her fury still plain.
Kapla: "We will see about that. Let's just get to the arena."
************
In front of the Arat Kilo monument Tarrasque, Longbeard, and Trainwreck stand. They each look down at their cards while intoning supplied words in Italian. They get a few dirty looks, but otherwise no one around them can really speak Italian. Off to the side stands Father Nathan, also looking down at his card and intoning words in Italian. Trainwreck taps Tarrasque on the shoulder once his card signifies that they can go to the arena itself.
Trainwreck: "Let's go eliminate that guy!"
Tarrasque nods and Trainwreck begins barrelling in that direction. Longbeard starts to move, but Tarrasque stops him with a smile.
Tarrasque: "Only one winner."
Tarrasque hauls Longbeard up into the air, bringing him down with a chokeslam that smashes Longbeard's head into the monument itself. He goes for the cover.
One...Two...Three!
Trainwreck turns to see Longbeard defeated. He looks back to Father Nathan to see the fist coming for his chest as Father Nathan hits his Left Hand of God finisher (heart punch). Father Nathan quickly goes for the pinfall.
One...Two...Three!!!
Father Nathan stands up, greeting Tarrasque's sight with a grin.
Nathan: "See you at the arena..."
********
We see Scot Dunlop walking down the sidewalk with about a dozen well to do women. He appears to be talking about a brand new show concept...the Real Housewives of Addis Ababa (ok, not even close to being a "new" show concept, but these women are excited anyway).
One of the women begin screaming with Harry Houdini behind her, giving her a wedgie. Scot Dunlop turns to see what's going on when Frietag burts through the crowd of distracted women to apply a side head lock.
Frietag: "This might hurt a bit...a lot."
A Sanbo side kick takes Frietag in the head, knocking him clear of Scot. Dasha grabs him by the shoulders.
Dasha: "Are you hurt? Did either of them apply some wrestling hold to you?"
Scot shakes his head with a slight grin.
Dunlop: "No, at least I don't think so. Thank you for saving me."
Dasha pats Scot on the cheek with a smile.
Dasha: "I wasn't saving from them, dahlin'. I was saving you for...Boris!"
Dasha turns Scot around so he can see Boris, rather look waaaay up to see Boris.
Boris: "Boris say you go for ride."
Boris lifts Scot Dunlop high into the air, slamming him onto the ground. Dasha chuckles as both her card and Boris' card light up with the invitation to head for the arena.
Dasha: "Let's move, Boris. These two couldn't even defeat this guy on the ground."
Harry Houdini watches the two Russians leave. He shakes his head, pulling Scot up into a camel clutch.
Houdini: "Escape Proof Camel! What? it's a finisher of mine!"
Harry releases the unconcious Scot Dunlop as his and Frietag's cards flash that they may now proceed to the arena. He helps Frietag up with a smile.
Houdini: "Time to finish this thing and see about which one of us gets the title match!"
Frietag shoves Harry off guard with both hands before grabbing him and pulling him into a head lock. He releases after a moment with a chuckle.
Frietag: "After that stunt you pulled at the street vendor, that better be me going for the championship."
Houdini: "All in good fun, right? We'll see..."
************************
Dixie Clement sits up, smearing at blood on her face.
Clement: "What happened?"
"You got the jump on my Order sister. That's what."
Dixie looks around until she sees Jessica Tendonin hovering in mid-air with a stern expression. She glances at her card to see that it is flashing for her to head for the arena.
Clement: "Afriad that I'll defeat you too?"
Tendonin: "Afraid that you might die out here all alone before I get the chance to defeat you in the ring. Go earn your chance to be defeated by me."
A sonic boom later and Jessica Tendonin is gone. Dixie stands up while shaking her head to clear the cobwebs.
Clement: "Not crazy at all, is she?"
**************
Sanchez: "I have gotten word that the surviving people in the Battle through the City are making their way through the arena now to get into the ring to finish this match. One they have passed through the doors to enter the arena, all teams are dissolved."
Kemp: "Seems like some teams were pretty much dissolved right off the bat. They don't work well together like we do. C'mon, show me some titty..."
A resounding smack is heard as Selena Sanchez backhands Kenneth Kemp across the face.
Sanchez: "Care for more, boy?"
Kemp: "Alright! I'll be good! Looks like the first two are getting down to the ring. Tarrasque and Harry Houdini!"
Harry rolls into the ring, looking at Tarrasque with wide eyes. He pulls a black disc from the inside of his jacket and snaps it open to produce a top hat.
Houdini: "Care to pull a rabbit out of the hat?"
Tarrasque grins, thrusting his hand through the hat, grabbing Harry by the marbles, and lifting.
Sanchez: "That's going to leave a mark on his baby making abilities."
Kemp: "I think that hurt mine. Wanna kiss them and make it better?"
Frietag hits the ring, taking Tarrasque down, and breaking the hold with a crooked lariat. A quick turn and Frietag drops on Tarrasque with a seated senton. A ref gets into position to count the pinfall.
One...Two...Three!
Harry turns around and runs into Father Nathan.
Nathan: "You look like you're in pain. A little nap wilol help that."
Father Nathan applies the sleeper hold on Harry while Frietag stands up from eliminating Tarrasque. Dixie Clement greets Frietag in the ring and the two begin exchanging lefts and rights.
Boris Drago and Dasha hit one side of the ring while Khloe Kapla and Plate Gilby hit the other side of the ring.
Sanchez: "All the remaining challengers are in the ring now!"
Kemp: "And who will get the chance to take on Jessica Tendonin for the ASA Ascension championship?"
As the bell rings yet again to signal the defeat of Harry Houdini, Father Nathan is leveled by Boris Drago with a clothesline that sends him into a flip through the air from the impact.
Dasha bring Khloe to the mat with a headlock takedwon. Plate Gilby grabs Dixie by the hair, driving a knee into her ribcage hard enough to send her into the air.
Sanchez: "Boris with the Sea of Red to Father Nathan! I wonder how many times that we've seen this move just tonight?"
Boris with a one foot pinfall on Father Nathan. Dixie attempts to head that way, but Gilby pulls her back by the hair to her knees, and-
Sanchez: "Boris with the pinfall on Father Nathan and Plate Gilby with Temple Vice applied on Dixie. She's been struck in the head enough during the fight through the city that I don't know-"
Even as the three count is landed to eliminate Father Nathan, Dixie Clement passes out.
Khloe Kapla brings Frietag down in a backslide while Boris and Dasha begin stalking Poate Gilby.
Once the three count has been counted against Frietag, Khloe jumps up to ram and elbow into the small of Boris' back. Plate Gilby hits Dasha with a bell ringer before lifting her up into the air with a choke.
Kemp: "Khloe looks like she's going to get squished in there!"
Sanchez: "She might have something up her sleeve."
Plate Gilby plants Dasha with a chokeslam before pulling her up to a seated position to apply Temple Vice. Boris turns to help her, but is brought down with a kick to the back of the knee into a cradle for the pinfall.
Sanchez: "And just like that, we're down to just Khloe Kapla and Plate Gilby. Khloe gets her chance to avenge being knocked out earlier from an elbow shot from Gilby."
Kemp: "I think the end result will be much the same."
Khloe Kapla and Plate Gilby stand in the ring face to face. Khloe strikes Gilby in the midsection with blow after blow, but Gilby simple responds to a ham fist to the top of the head that drives Khloe to the mat.
Gilby: "You little girls think you can compete in a real man's world. You can't."
Plate Gilby picks Khloe up, only to backhand her with enough force to send her back to the ropes. He catches her by the front of her shirt with one hand, lifting her up, and slamming home several powerful headbutts.
Gilby: "Barefoot and pregnant while in the kitchen is your place."
Plate Gilby lifts Khloe up into the air and drives her to the mat by her shirt before applying the Temple Vice. It isn't long before Khloe passes out.
Sanchez: "Plate Gilby wins it and will be facing Jessica Tendonin here in a few minutes for the ASA Ascension championship!"
Kemp: "I almost feel sorry for Tendonin."
ASA Ascension Championship
Jessica Tendonin lands in the center of the ring from the skies above, looking at Plate Gilby with an easy smile.
Kemp: "What, she think that she's too good to wait for her introduction?"
Sanchez: "She was never backstage while she flew around the city to watch the match proceed."
Kemp: "I suppose."
The bell rings to start the match and Plate Gilby starts the match off by kicking Jessica right in the left knee. He palms her face as she falls to plant the back of her head against the mat with a harsh laugh. He pulls on her hair to slam the back of her neck over his knee and then slams his elbow into her throat. He backs away as the ref comes in yelling at him for using the tactics he just did.
Kemp: "See? This match is going to be over in minutes."
Jessica gets up to her hands and knees, coughing up blood onto the mat when Plate Gilby runs across the ring to deliver a punt to the ribcage with enough force to send her bouncing off of the second turnbuckle and back to the mat. She tries to rise quickly, but a kick to the side of the head drops her back to the mat.
Sanchez: "There isn't much technique to Gilby's methods, but it looks to be working."
Kemp: "What a little bitch! Jessica defeated a giant black dragon in the skies above Bulgaria five years ago, but now she can't defeat a thug with a metal plate in his head?"
Plate Gilby grabs Jessica by the front of her shirt and drags her to the center of ring where he takes great pleasure in applying Temple Vice. As Jessica was pretty much out before this even started, it was mere moments before she was passed out in the ring. Plate Gilby raises his hands in victory with a cruel laugh.
Sanchez: "I'm very disappointed that the winner of the Battle through the City and winner of the Ascension championship is a man that would be most at home with the policies and backers of the IWA. This can't be good."
Kemp: "Hopefully this doesn't damn us all. I would hate to be dead you know. Hate it."
Announcer: "Winner of the match and NEW ASA Ascension champion...Plate Gilby!"
Sanchez: "I just have a bad feeling about all of this..."
Kemp: "I'm getting word that it's time for us to go. Anderson and Walker are on their way back from their meeting for finding allies for the United States. From the urgency of the message of it being that it's time to leave, I would say that the meeting was a grand failure."
Sanchez: "This doesn't sound like a very good thing. If the United States can't get any purchase here, then the remaining free nations of Africa might also not be open to alliance."
That's the PDF version of the show and is downloadable. Shows even come with mp3 files built into the pdf for a more immersive viewing.
Legendary #1
Apex Superstar Alliance heads to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia for their very first show! (Ignore what the arena really says...obsolete info there). Will they be able to hold their first show without incident, or will Carthage send out a raiding party to remind the ASA management that there remains only one true sponsored wrestling company? Watch as contestants fight for the right to face Jessica Tendonin for the ASA Ascension championship! Who will be the one to face her down in the ring?
Welcome to Africa
In a meeting room at the arena, Terel Walker and Allen Anderson sit at a table. It isn't long before Sebastian Basurto and Captain Trevor Maathai come in and join them at the table.
Basutro: "Everything is set up in the city. We found all of the staff we needed for the event from a local staffing company."
Walker: "Good then. Hopefully, we can get through this event done with-"
The door is kicked in and a rather large Italian looking man steps in through the door with a six foot tall warhammer. Though he's set off a bit by wearing just a pair of overalls.
"I know where Montana is!"
Anderson looks at Walker curiously and all go to stare at the man.
Anderson: "So do we all? What's in Montana?"
The man gives Anderson a blank stare with the warhammer over his shoulder.
"My name is Dalton James and I am Italy!"
Anderson: "Okay?"
"I am Italy and I know where effing Montana is!"
Anderson: "So...if you're applying for the crazy person position, we already have Terel Walker."
Walker: "Hey!"
"I am RandiG and I am here to kill you all!"
Basurto: "I thought you said your name was Dalton James?"
Maathai: "Or was it Italy?"
Walker: "Is it JC?"
The man blinks rapidly, looking between them all as if he's trying to decide how to respond.
Anderson: "Why would an Italy want to know where a Montana is?"
Man: "Umm that city is miles from here!"
Walker: "There's a lot of miles between Italy and Montana. Are you alright?"
Man: "Yes, I...no...I'm Dalton...JC...RandiG...Italy...the Cardinal says DIE!"
Captain Maathai draws a sidearm and shoots the man in the left eye. He sputters a bit more, but then falls like a felled tree to the floor onto his face.
Maathai: "It's almost as if the Cardinal didn't care if you really died or not. Do you think he knew that he hired some maniac with a broken brain as an assassin?"
Anderson shakes his head with a laugh.
Anderson: "Maybe he condemned the rest of his good people to work in Desolation? God knows..."
"God does know. He knows more than you know, and Cardinal Mariano Urizar says that you must die for your sins!"
The man places his hands on the floor and begins pushing himself up from the floor with a line of blood, bone, and brains trailing from his head to the floor. He gets to his feet, looking around at the men in the room with his one remaining good eye.
Man: "I take you all to Hell with me!"
Captain Maathai stands up and empties the clip of his side arm into the man's chest, but he doesn't fall. The man knocks Captain Maathai and Sebastian Basutro to the side while reaching for Anderson.
Man: "The Cardinal said to break every bone in your body before letting you die!"
Anderson: "Walker! If you have any left over power from that magic bauble, it'd be time to use it!"
Terel focuses his attentions and points a finger at the man before shouting a word in an unknown language.
A beam of energy comes from Terel's finger, widening to a cone that envelops the entire top of the man.
The man screams as his top half burns away to ash. Captain Maathai and Sebastian Basurto pick up their chairs to sit back down at the table.
Anderson: "So, do you have everything handled here? Once the show begins, Walker and I are going to a meeting with diplomatic officials with the local nations to use Ethiopia, the Sudan, and the Red Sea as staging points to invade into the belly of Carthage."
Basurto: "Wouldn't sailing into the Straits of Gibraltar be just as easy?"
Walker shakes his head with a chuckle.
Walker: "Carthage owns the land on either side of that entrance and partols it heavily. There's even word of mammoth floating fortresses to keep the Mediteranean Sea closed off to those not of British, Carthagian, or Russian navies. So we have this location and a few locations in the North Sea to look at."
Maathai: "Suppose we just found a way to take out the Three Siblings? Wouldn't the rest be easier?"
Anderson: "I wish. Things would fall into even greater chaos I fear as factions currently being controlled by Thamptis would begin waging war on each other and the rest of the world. One step at a time here is best instead of going for the head. Gather our allies in this war and then once we have begun fighting, then we can see about splitting them against each other by taking out these beings."
Basurto: "There isn't any strong military powers in this region. You think they will ally with enemies of the Three Empires? The general population is afraid that Carthage could sweep through Sudan and annex Ethiopia at anytime."
Anderson sighs with a nod.
Anderson: "I won't lie. I don't feel that this meeting is going to end very well. Still, President Lee put his trust in us, and so we will try."
Walker: "If we don't return by the end of the show, load up all the ASA people you can find and make way for Richmond to inform the President of our failure. Then, run the company as your own, but stay where it's safe."
Basurto: "But-"
Walker: "Do as I tell you! The world has had enough dead heroes."
Basurto: "Understood."
Anderson: "Well? Shall we go out there and address the fans before we go out?"
Walker: "Let's go."
Opening
The screens around the arena blaze to life with dramatic music with different screens showing different parts of an excited crowd.
Terel Walker and Allen Anderson are brough from the home team entrance on the back of a cart to the ring. Anderson leaning on a dark wooden cane with a red gemstone on the top, glowing dimly against all of the lights. Both men climb into the ring, taking in the cheers of the fans.
Walker: "Welcome to the official relaunch of Apex Superstar Alliance! Tonight, we will bear witness to an epic match to see who can Ascend to the Top and challenge Jessica Tendonin for her championship. This championship is the main workhorse of the company as it reveals who can be the best in seeing who can defeat the ASA World champion, Troy Adkins!"
The crowd begins to boo Troy Adkins, but Terel just smiles.
Anderson: "It won't be an easy match for those gunning for the top tonight since there will be all kinds of twisted tasks ahead of them in addition to fighting each other."
Walker: "Good luck to everyone in the match tonight!"
One by one the screens change to show each of the teams involved in the big match. The Fight through the City.
Walker: "And as a popular movie said once...there can be only one!"
As if on cue, all of the screens change to a view of "Guttertrash" Troy Adkins, who smiles and waves at the camera.
Adkins: "Why hello, my friends. I think I heard my name mentioned. The winner of this Ascension championship might eventually get a shot at me and my belt? I find the concept laughable. Do you think any of these little people can challenge me? They call me Hoskuld Lokison, Asgardian God of Excess! The Lady Sif is my Baby Momma! There's not a soul in this buiding that can defeat me!"
Anderson raises his hand with a bright smile like that annoying kid in class that knows all of the answers.
Anderson: "To be technical, none of the athletes that could eventually challenge you in the ring to take that title are inside of the building. So, you are correct at this exact moment."
Troy peers closer to the camera as if trying to look down at Anderson with a raised eyebrow.
Adkins: "Don't you own that failed wrestling company? What was it Wimpy Wrestling International or something? Why are you here?"
Anderson shakes his head, looking to Terel Walker with a chuckle.
Anderson: "What a prankster! Where did you find this one?"
Walker: "Him? Troy Adkins? He was the Chemical Specialist for Johnathan Mills. He has been adopted by Loki to be transformed into this Hoskuld Lokison. Don't let him fool you though, his real name is-"
Adkins: "Now! Now! Now! Let's not start whipping out dirty laundry here. I paid my dues for helping that genocidal madman! And now, I am the ASA World champion with the God of Thunder as my Grand Uncle Step-Daddy of my child. Just wondering though...does that make the Lady Sif her Grand Aunt Mommy? Since she is married to my child's Grand Uncle and all. I'm pretty sure I'm just Daddy. God knows..."
Troy looks at all of the blank stares he's getting from the ring and the crowd before laughing out loud.
Adkins: "Wait, that means I know because I AM a God! Ha!"
Anderson: "Walker...I would have sent you talent so he could have been shot in the head before becoming...this."
Walker: "You would have sent me talent to avoid having to use Adkins? Would you have spared me Devereaux? Bacchus? Kronin?"
Anderson: "I think your World champion mentioned something about no dirty laundry? We're going to have a great show tonight! Let's find out who will face Jessica Tendonin for the Ascension championship tonight!"
The crowd cheer, though it helps with the free tickets and free food.
Walker: "Get this fool off the screens! He knows that his days as champion are numbered!"
The screens go black one by one until all is silent.
Walker: "Also, if you were able to buy a program. Get your picks in for who will win the Battle through the City in andget set into a drawing to win a set of ten lifetime tickets good for VIP passes for ALL ASA events! Travel, lodging, and food all provided for every show! You can continue to pick until the first elimination!"
With the crowd cheering, Anderson and Walker make their way to the back on the cart.
Battle Through the City
Sanchez: "This match needs no introductions as well...our cameras will be searching for them as we go along. We will probably stay pretty quiet about it through out unless something stunning happens."
Kemp: "So what you're saying is that instead of using that pretty mouth to talk about the match, you're going to keep it full of Kenneth Man Meat."
Sanchez: "Are you kidding me right now?"
Kemp: "C'mon, babe. You know you wanna bounce this baby off your tonsils like hitting a punching bag."
The giant screens installed in the arena for this match light up and the first thing we see is the Yekatit 12 Square where a monument stands to honor the Ethiopians who died to stand up to the Italian Fascists during their occupation before the start of World War II.
Terence Jennings, Will York, and Elliot Lytle stand next to the monument while looking at their cards.
Jennings: "It says here that we have to go to a this corner on the map and shark a pretty woman and give her a bad touch."
Lytle: "So do we bite her? That's a pretty bad touch."
York: "Yo, I think we bite her and I think that was some wrestler's finishing move. So we bite her and use a wrestling finisher on her."
A man stops by the monument, giving the sign of the cross. He's about to leave when he notices Will York leaning against the monument. He begins angrily speaking to Will, who just looks at him curiously.
Will: "You think he's explaining how to shark someone?"
Jennings: "No clue? I don't understand a word of what he's saying. Is that Spanish?"
Lytle: "Don't be an idiot, we ain't in Mexico."
The man starts to go red in the face, bringing other people over to see what's going on. Then they begin yelling at the trio as well. The first man slaps Will's hand away from the monument, causing him to fall against it.
York: "You little mother-"
Will York is up quickly, leveling the man that pushed him with a single punch.
York: "Take that ya commie bastard!"
Lytle: "I don't think we're in Russia either."
Jennings: "The Russians aren't even Commies anymore."
York: "Oh yeah, then who-"
Lytle: "Less talking, more fighting!"
The crowd begin to press upon the three Warhawks, swinging with angry fists and shouting in their native language. The three begins fighting their way out of things, even going as far as using people as weapons to clear a path for them to get free.
Will York grabs the first guy by the bac he stands, and smashes his face into the monument. The crowd gasp and fall back as teeth and blood splatter across the stone monument.
Jenning: "Now's our chance! Go!"
The three take off running from the location while the people attend to the downed man and curse at them in their native language. They keep glancing at their cards to follow the directions to their first checkpoint.
Lytle: "Maybe someone could research the term Sharking on their phone?"
York: "On it."
**********************
At the Hager Fikir Theater on the stage is where we find Boris Drago, Dasha, and Candice Kingston. They stare at the gathered crowd as their cards light up to inform them of the start of the match.
Dasha: "It says we have to do down several blocks here to this street vendor and eat the food he offers."
Dasha and Candice are about to leave the stage, when Boris puts a hand on each shoulder.
Boris: "We on stage. Should we perform for minute?"
Candice looks out at the people watching to see if they would be doing anything with a sneer.
Kingston: "Why would we do anything for them?"
Boris points to off stage where the actors are waiting for them to leave.
Boris: "Because Boris feel bad for making nice people wait."
Dasha sighs, looking down at her card. At the very least this isn't a race, all they have to do is make it to the arena and one of them win.
Dasha: "Fine. Do something quickly so we can move out!"
Boris gets a microphone, nervously looking out at the crowd.
Boris: "Mary had little...sheep. Little...Boris think goat. Little goat. Mary had little...maybe Boris think it cow. Mary had...cow not little! Boris know that!"
The crowd begins to boo as Boris tries to work through the song. That is until a tomato hits him in the shoulder.
Boris: "Boris out!"
Dasha and Candice follow behind the large Russian man as he plows through the crowd to get to the exit.
Boris "EVERYBODY MOVE!"
Dasha: "When you get outside, we're going left!"
******************
At a cemetery filled with the graves of those of the Muslim religion, Marty Sandal, Khloe Kapla, and Plate Gilby stand next to a large headstone when they see that their cards have become active to begin the match.
Sandal: "So we have to go to this church and give the sign of the cross? That's not so bad."
Kapla: "Except for that's a mosque. According to what this card says."
Sandal: "Oh *beep*"
Plate Gilby looks at the concern on the faces of the two for a moment, finally blurting out.
Gilby: "What in the world are you two little women prattling on about?"
Sandal: "Muslims would feel like they need to take down anyone who gave the sign of the cross in front of them."
Gilby: "They can try. What's this sign?"
Khloe: "I see it here, and it looks simple enough. Let me try..."
Khloe performs the sign of the cross and Plate Gilby smiles.
Gilby: "I guess it gets the kind of attention that you thought that it would."
Marty taps her on the shoulder and she looks over to see five men running her way and shouting angrily at her in their native language. Plate Gilby grasps at the headstone, getting it lifted up over his head. When the five men stop to look upon him in shock, Gilby tosses the headstone at them. The headstone pins two of them to the ground with the other three trying to help their friends get free.
Gilby: "Great fun. So, lets get to this mosque so we can make more people mad and then smash them."
**************
At the Ethiopian Federal Police HQ...the front desk to be most specific. Dixie Clement, Father Nathan, and a mysterious person in long brown robes that hide both face and gender of the person. They look down at their cards to see them go live to show them that the match has started.
Nathan: "Go to a street vendor and eat what he offers you before checkpoint will become active. Are you sure the Ascension title is really that important?"
Clement: "You can hang with it, partner! Back at the ranch, you ate every part of the animal out of respect. And I do mean every part!"
The person in the brown robes retches a bit, but doesn't reveal any clue of who he/she is. When voice is heard, it is a scrambled neutral voice.
Mystery: "I just hope to God they will also serve some booze or they might have a lap full of vomit."
The three go to walk out of the front door, when a man stops them in their tracks. He points at the mystery person.
Police: "You just going to walk out of the place with that person? Do you even know who this person is? A he? A she? Some kind of person who wants to shoot you as soon as you walk out of the building?"
Dixie and Nathan look at each other and shrug.
Nathan: "It's a pro wrestling thing. You wouldn't understand."
When the man's expression doesn't change, Dixie just chuckles.
Clement: "We never said that it was a really smart thing."
The police officer looks at the three of them for a moment before raising both eyebrows and shaking his head.
Police: "Well? I did warn you."
As the three walk out of the police hq, they look at directions that are on their cards to see what way to go.
Father: "When you say everything was eaten..."
Clement: "You ain't lived until you had grilled bullsack tacos with chilis and lime. Hooo wee!"
Mystery: "Oh God..."
********************
At the Merkato Market by the oranges, Trainwreck and Longbeard look at their cards and wait for them to come on to signify the start of the match. Tarrasque grabs oranges one by one, shoving them into his mouth whole and chewing happily while squirting juice everywhere.
The shop keeper who owns the oranges looks very upset, but stays clear of Tarrasque as he randomly samples of the fruit.
Trainwreck: "It says that we have to go here. Then we have to shark a pretty woman and give her a bad touch? What is this?"
Longbeard: "So we back hand her after we shark her? How does one shark a woman, beast?"
Tarrasque looks up, his face covered in bits of different fruits with half an eaten grapefruit in his hand. He turns, spitting the seeds machinegun style at the shop owner and shrugs.
Tarrasque: "Shark eat people. You eat woman! Bad touch not hit. Me know bad touch, you never touch girl here or here unless she say ok."
Tarrasque uses the half-eaten grapefruit to motion around his privates and his chest.
Tarrasque: "So we eat woman and then touch her. She no complain after you eat head..."
The shop owner taps Tarrasque on the shoulder. He turns to see what the owner wants and is shown a video on a smart phone.
Owner: "This eating a woman."
Tarrasque watches the video for a few minutes with a look of interest until the sound of a woman's orgasmic can be heard. Tarrasque's eyes go wide in shock.
Tarrasque: "THAT WHAT WE MUST DO?"
Owner: "Sure, seems like it, buddy. You guys better get going..."
The Shop Owner watches on as Tarrasque, Longbeard, and Trainwreck leave with a chuckle.
Owner: "I can hear it now...ravish...ravish...ravish..."
********************
Inside of the Amanuel Mental Hospital, Frietag stands by a roll out bed where lays Harry Houndini in a straightjacket. Frietag shakes his head at Harry, who shrugs.
Houdini: "What? I wanted to make things interesting. Where's that other guy? Lyght?"
Frietag: "No, he got replaced. His name is...let's just call him Fred for now."
Harry rolls off of the gurney away from the camera, falling to the floor. A man in a hospital gown begins shaking Fritag's hand and rubbing his shoulder at the same time. He speaks in his native language, but all Frietag can do is smile and nod.
Harry leaps to his feet without the straightjacket being on him only seconds later, he has his card in his hand.
Houdini: "We are supposed to go to this mosque and give the sign of the cross. Where's Fred?"
Frietag looks around at the other patients in the room before shrugging.
Frietag: "What does Fred look like?"
Houndini: "Let me get this straight. You don't know his name, so you called him Fred. You also don't know what he looks like so he could be in this room right now and we wouldn't know it?"
Frietag: "Well, when you put it like that..."
Harry Houndini cups his hands to his mouth and yells as loud as he can.
Houndini: "Guy who's supposed to be our partner in this match, we're going to follow the directions on the card to go get lynched by an angry Muslim crowd once we piss them off. Come on with us if you're coming!"
******************
At an apparently random street corner...that also happens to be a notorious hang out location for those seeking "paid for love" in Addis Ababa. We see Terence Jennings, Will York, and Elliot Lytle walking down the sidewalk, their eyes open wide to the scandously clad women all around.
At another corner, Tarrasque, Trainwreck, and Longbeard are walking down to the corner while watching all of the women try to flag down customers.
Longbeard: "Are you sure that this is what we're supposed to be doing? I mean...umm."
Tarrasque looks at the women with a grin and no small amount of drool trailing to his chest.
Tarrasque: "Me think so. Why would not?"
And that's when the two teams meet each other at the corner...
Trainwreck: "Should we get those guys?"
Tarrasque: "Yup..."
Tarrasque spears Elliot Lytle around the midsection, lifting him up, and slamming him into a brick wall. Mind, since it's not a corner in a wrestling ring, he also puts his own head through a shop glass window.
Jennings: "Get them!"
Terence Jennings rushes at Longbeard, but is grabbed up in quick fashion and dropped in a backbreaker over Longbeard's knee. Trainwreck meets Will York's charge head on...literally. He ducks his head down and catches Will York in the midsection before tossing him with a back drop.
Tarrasque rolls over to leaning against the building, blood streaming down his face from breaking the glass. Elliot Lytle puts a knee to Tarrasque's leg to pin him down and begins wailing on him with lefts and rights.
Longbeard places a foot on Terence's chest and grabs his mace with a smile.
Longbeard: "I've always wanted to play what you humans called golf, but the clubs were too long. Maybe I can use my mace. You just smash the little white balls, right?"
Trainwreck picks Will York up by the hair into a sitting position, and is ready to slam a fist in his face when-
Jennings: "I give! I give! Just leave the boys alone!"
"What the fuck is going on here?"
Everyone stops what they're doing to look at a tall woman in a black miniskirt, red fishnet stockings, and a red tube top. She holds a smoking cigarette in one hand with her other hand on her hip.
"How the fuck are we going to make our money with you idiots fighting over here? Quit it!"
Elliot Lytle walks over with a crooked smile.
Lytle: "I'm so sorry that we bothered you, miss. It's just that-"
With one hand, Elliot rips the tube top down and the other, he tweaks a nipple. He gets out his card while the woman begins slapping him upside the head to see that the checkpoint has been acquired. Will York runs across the street, nearly being hit by a car, to rip down a woman's short and undies before giving her a goose. He laughs as his card also tells him that he has passed.
Longbeard looks down at Terence while he looks at his own card. Terence curses.
Jennings: "I'm out."
The woman that had her tube top pulled down looks at the men like they're quite crazy (no she hadn't bothered covering herself). She takes a drag from her cigarette as the Warhawks take off running.
"I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you people!"
Lytle: "Next stop...eliminate someone in a sewer tunnel at this location? Gross!"
York: "We can do it! Maybe we'll meet that guy with the beard again and bring him down! Avenge Terence's defeat!"
Jennings: "Yeah! Who said that short round could be using a metal club with a ball on it anyway?"
Trainwreck and Longbeard cross the street to quickly find their own targets while the woman stands in front of Tarrasque.
"So, someone tell you fucking idiots to come down here and get some free samples? What? Do you think hookers operate like fucking Shanghai Garden? We don't! Now cough up some fucking cash before I pierce your ball sack with a stiletto heel!"
Tarrasque laughs, ripping the woman's skirt away to reveal no panties, grabbing her legs, and going in for what he's been told about "sharking". Longbeard and Trainwreck return from meeting their checkpoint requirements (in the "right way" mind since they looked it up using the internet browser supplied on their cards). They look on in shock while the woman screams in a mixture of rage and passion.
Longbeard: "I'm not sure that is what they meant by sharking and bad touch..."
Trainwreck: "It IS a bad touch though..."
Longbeard: "What's next?"
Trainwreck: "Go say something offensive in Italian, wording provided, in front of a monument at this location."
Longbeard: "Sounds...bad. Hey, Tarrasque? You ready yet?"
Tarrasque sets the woman to the side, where she sits in shock in her nudity. He stands up, his face looking much like a glazed donut with a grin.
Tarrasque: "Me ready. Let's go!"
***********************
In front of a Muslim mosque, Father Nathan, Dixie Clement, and their mystery partner stand in front. Off to the side, they see Marty Sandal, Khloe Kapla, and Plate Gilby. As the six look upon the Muslim mosque with the people gathered in fron of it. They give the sign of the cross as if on cue.
Father Nathan: "I thought we were going to a street vendor to eat his wares? I didn't notice the directions changing!"
Clement: "You complaining?"
Father: "Maybe? Lot of angry people coming our way..."
Angry shouts fill the air, but Plate Gilby ignores the Muslins and points at the other team.
Gilby: "Crush them!"
A streak blurs through the air, catching Dixie Clement, and taking her away from the area. Father Nathan tries catching her, but fails.
Nathan: "Dixie!"
He turns to see the brown cloaked mystery person that was also on his team vanish into a crowd of angry Muslims.
Marty Sandal, Khloe Kapla, and Plate Gilby surround Father Nathan.
Kapla: "Are you sure this is the right thing to do? It is a three one one situation."
Plate Gilby grunts, throwing a back elbow that catches Khloe Kapla in the side of the head, and drops her to the ground. Father Nathan springs into action, leveling Marty Sandal with a Knockout Punch. He turns quickly, clocking Plate Gilby on the jaw with a roundhouse punch. Gilby just leers at Father Nathan.
Gilby: "I've felt babies hit harder than that!"
A mechanical voice says "One...Two...Three!"
Plate Gilby and Father Nathan look around to see Khloe Kapla on top of Marty Sandal with Marty being counted as pinned.
Gilby: "Stupid little cow. Take my left overs, preacher."
Plate Gilby walks away from Father Nathan with a harsh laugh.
Gilby: "When we meet again on this day, I'll make you wish that you had been crucified instead of your prophet!"
Plate Gilby looks down at his card as he walks.
Gilby: "Eliminate someone in the sewer at this location. Finally, something that makes some kind of sense!"
Father Nathan looks down at Khloe Kapla and contemplates pinning her, but then he scans the skies for where Dixie was taken to. He glances down at his card and curses suddenly in Irish.
Nathan: "Offend more people by a monument by saying something in Italian? Wording will be provided? They trying to get us killed? Where are you, Dixie?"
**********************
Harry Houdini and Frietag are in front of a local street vendor, who is selling primarily grilled meats. They do look rather confused though.
Houdini: "I thought we were going to be standing in front of a mosque?"
Frietag: "Says we should eat what is offered. Did you want to eat something or piss off Muslims?"
The Street Vendor leans out over the counter with a laugh.
Vendor: "You can be doing both at the same time if you don't accept my food! Shouldn't there be three of you?"
Frietag makes a show of looking around with a chuckle.
Frietag: "We had someone named Lyght on our team once. A Goblin King? He refused to come out to Ethiopia and so that failed. Our replacement was someone that I like to call Fred. Though it seems that Fred might be imaginary. So...if he comes, he comes."
The Street Vendor nods, handing out two different dishes to the man. To Harry, he hands a skewer of grilled chunks of camel hearts, livers, and lungs. To Frietag, he gives about a foot stretch of braided, grilled intestines. The Street Vendor looks back at Harry with wide open eyes to see that Harry has already eaten all of his food before Frietag has even taken a bite.
Houdini: "The next task is hit Scot Dunlop with your finishing move! It shows on a map where he is! See you when you catch up!"
Frietag nods, biting into his food. He frowns right away.
Frietag: "Is there a meat filling to this meat?"
Frietag reaches inside of the meat bundle, pulling out a grilled chunk of camel liver.
Vendor: "That was not put in there when I made it. Your friend must have some magic tricks. I guess you get to eat his share too! Ha!"
Frietag: "HARRY HOUDINI!"
*********************
Tendonin: "Enjoy your time with Candice, bitch!"
It's the last thing that Dixie Clement heard before being released into a roll by Jessica Tendonin. She bowls through a group of metal garbage cans and is stopped by a brick wall. Dixie sits up holding her head, blood running through her fingers.
Clement: "Get back here so I can plant my boot up your ass!"
Dixie gets up to her feet, using the wall as support, but gets grabbed by the collar and slammed back into the wall. Candice Kingston is in Dixie's face with a leering grin.
Kingston: "We've got business, you and I."
Dasha and Boris Drago stand a few feet away, watching the exchange take place with less than mild interest.
Boris: "You want Boris help?"
Kingston: "Nah, go enjoy your gross meals. I'll be there in a minute or two."
Clement: "Candice?"
Kingston: "What?"
Dixie turns out of the hold, hitting Candice in the back of the head with a Texas Justice that sends her face into the brick wall. Dixie pulls her down in a school girl cradle, giving Candice's pants a quick pull for good measure. A mechanical male's voice sounds out.
One...Two...Three!
Dixie Clement stands up from the stunned Candice with a chuckle, looking at her card.
Clement: "Say something in front of a monument to fallen Ethiopians in Italian, script to come? I hope that's where Father Nathan is heading!"
At the street vendor stand, the owner hands out dishes of food to both Boris and Dasha. They look down at their food. Boris has a bowl of sliced up...something in a red staining gravy. Dasha has a plate of dry roasted and seasoned crickets.
Boris: "Boris think this look like Borsht!"
Vendor: "It's sliced thin camel balls in a broth made from camel blood. Eat up."
While Boris and Dasha work on their food, Dixie walks past. She waves her hand with a cheery smile.
Clement: "That looks so tasty! I think I was to do that checkpoint, but it got changed. It it got changed to you guys, then...thanks?"
Dasha: "Next we hit Scot Dunlop with a finisher. Sounds like fun. Boris? Practice on her..."
Dixie doesn't have time to react as Boris pelts her in the head with the bowl he's been eating from. She tries to fight him away, but he lifts her up into the air in what's similar to a power bomb.
Boris: "Dasha sure Boris do this?"
Dasha: "Show he the Sea of Red and lets get going! We have a date with Dunlop!"
Boris nods and throws Dixie down to the pavement with enough strength and force to create an impact crater with a spider web of cracks going out from the point of impact. He turns and follows Dasha.
**********
Father Nathan walks through a tunnel that does underneath a highway...and under part of the city since the tunnel goes on for awhile and only lit by flickering electrical lamps.
"You're awful brave. Maybe you would like to appear in my next Transformers movie, the Ruse of the Quintessons?"
Father Nathan: "Michael Bay?"
Michael Bay steps out of the shadows, his skin as pale as death.
Bay: "I always wondered about the Catholic reaction to my work. Maybe you could provide one, Father?"
Michael steps closer to Father Nathan, but a silver cross with a wooden stake built in stops him in his tracks.
Nathan: "I think you have ruined the Transformers for at least one generation, if not two. You must go on to your judgment..."
Nathan swings the cross-stake at Michael, who sweeps out of the way, slashing down Father Nathan's arms with dirty sharp claws. Father Nathan spins, but Bay is away. He reappears a few feet down the tunnel, licking Father Nathan's blood off of his fingers with a smile.
Bay: "I think I saw you before. You were in Rome at the end of the war. The wrestling company you had worked for had thought that you had died, but you had lived. Were you trying to save souls from the wrath of my great grand-sire, Nebiryau? What he did to those priests who crossed his path...was delicious."
Father Nathan holds a hand over his head with the palm facing up.
Nathan: "There are many people in the world who think that the Curse of Caine is actually a gift of some kind. It is not called curse without good reason. You have died and have been cast out of the grace of God. Now if you had chosen to not embrace your power and sought to do His will, then we would not be having this discussion right now. As it stands, I cannot help one so corrupt with such a soiled soul as yourself and must help you in sending you on your way so that God may decide your eternal fate. Pray that he is more merciful than I would be after watching what you have done to the Transformers franchise."
The ground begins to shake and the tunnel above rips itself open to reveal bright sunlight (despite it being dusk outside of the tunnel) pouring in. Michael Bay begins to scream as his flesh begins to burn from the intense natural power. Father Nathan helps him along by driving the wooden stake into his heart. Michael Bay explodes into ashes.
The light fades to reveal no damage in the roof of the tunnel. Father Nathan continues to walk into the darkness, pocketing a small white stone the size of a marble.
Father Nathan: "Thank you, Lord, for the power of your cleansing holy light..."
****************
Elliot Lytle, Terence Jennings, and Will York are walking down the tunnels in the sewer below the city using their cards as flash lights when manhole covers don't provide enough light.
Lytle: "We're supposed to eliminate someone each here to pass? Or is it as a team, we should eliminate someone?"
York: "I think someone else is down here. The card doesn't say who. One person though, so if only one of us can pass here, would the other get a different check point? Which of us should beat the person?"
The probing lights of the cards lands on the leering face of Plate Gilby. His face is bloodsplattered and the carcass of a large lizard. Crocodile?
York: "We get to eliminate you? Nice!"
Gilby: "Think again."
Gilby grabs Will York by the side of the head and slams it into the stone wall with a wet crunching sound.
Terence moves in, but the corpse of the croc is tossed into him, knocking both into the putrid waters.
Plate Gilby laughs at Elliot Lytle, placing a boot onto Will's throat.
Gilby: "Give up or I crush his throat."
Elliot hits Gilby in the jaw with a fews lefts and rights to try to knock him away, but Gilby just laughs and spits out a bit of blood. A mechanical voice is heard in the background.
One...Two...Three!
Gilby: "Give up, or have this boy's death weighing on your soul."
Eilliot looks at Will and shakes his head.
Lytle: "I give-"
The breath explodes from Elliot's body as he is lifted up nearly to the roof of the tunnel by a punch to the midsection. Gilby had stepped off of Will to attack Elliot.
Gilby applies a chicken wing, slamming Elliot's face into the floor with a cruel chuckle.
Gilby: "Weak! Back home, you three would have died long ago. Torn apart by my own hand no doubt. So no what do you say?"
Lytle: "I give! I give! Just don't kill me!"
Plate Gilby releases Elliot, standing up and spitting on his back.
Gilby: "Good bye, little pukes."
Something catches Plate Gilby around the head, bringing him down in a bulldog to smash his face against the floor.
Plate Gilby is up quickly with a snarl.
Gilby: "If one of you War Hawks attacked me-"
Plate Gilby's eyes lock with those of Khloe Kapla. She stares back at him in a cold fury.
Kapla: "You foul git! You attacked me! We're on the same team!"
Plate Gilby smiles, holding out his card that says that he can proceed to the arena.
Gilby: "What does your card say?"
Khloe gets her card out, nearly snarling when she sees that it says that she may also proceed to the arena. Plate Gilby does a slow clap, enjoying the burning glare of hate from Khloe.
Gilby: "Go team go."
Kapla: "When we get into that ring and knock down the others, I'll be putting you down."
Gilby: "Oh yeah? A thought occurred to me, once the other teams are defeated and I crush you, there might be an opening on my crotch in celebration of my win over that little cow called Tendonin."
Khloe Kapla shakes her head, her fury still plain.
Kapla: "We will see about that. Let's just get to the arena."
************
In front of the Arat Kilo monument Tarrasque, Longbeard, and Trainwreck stand. They each look down at their cards while intoning supplied words in Italian. They get a few dirty looks, but otherwise no one around them can really speak Italian. Off to the side stands Father Nathan, also looking down at his card and intoning words in Italian. Trainwreck taps Tarrasque on the shoulder once his card signifies that they can go to the arena itself.
Trainwreck: "Let's go eliminate that guy!"
Tarrasque nods and Trainwreck begins barrelling in that direction. Longbeard starts to move, but Tarrasque stops him with a smile.
Tarrasque: "Only one winner."
Tarrasque hauls Longbeard up into the air, bringing him down with a chokeslam that smashes Longbeard's head into the monument itself. He goes for the cover.
One...Two...Three!
Trainwreck turns to see Longbeard defeated. He looks back to Father Nathan to see the fist coming for his chest as Father Nathan hits his Left Hand of God finisher (heart punch). Father Nathan quickly goes for the pinfall.
One...Two...Three!!!
Father Nathan stands up, greeting Tarrasque's sight with a grin.
Nathan: "See you at the arena..."
********
We see Scot Dunlop walking down the sidewalk with about a dozen well to do women. He appears to be talking about a brand new show concept...the Real Housewives of Addis Ababa (ok, not even close to being a "new" show concept, but these women are excited anyway).
One of the women begin screaming with Harry Houdini behind her, giving her a wedgie. Scot Dunlop turns to see what's going on when Frietag burts through the crowd of distracted women to apply a side head lock.
Frietag: "This might hurt a bit...a lot."
A Sanbo side kick takes Frietag in the head, knocking him clear of Scot. Dasha grabs him by the shoulders.
Dasha: "Are you hurt? Did either of them apply some wrestling hold to you?"
Scot shakes his head with a slight grin.
Dunlop: "No, at least I don't think so. Thank you for saving me."
Dasha pats Scot on the cheek with a smile.
Dasha: "I wasn't saving from them, dahlin'. I was saving you for...Boris!"
Dasha turns Scot around so he can see Boris, rather look waaaay up to see Boris.
Boris: "Boris say you go for ride."
Boris lifts Scot Dunlop high into the air, slamming him onto the ground. Dasha chuckles as both her card and Boris' card light up with the invitation to head for the arena.
Dasha: "Let's move, Boris. These two couldn't even defeat this guy on the ground."
Harry Houdini watches the two Russians leave. He shakes his head, pulling Scot up into a camel clutch.
Houdini: "Escape Proof Camel! What? it's a finisher of mine!"
Harry releases the unconcious Scot Dunlop as his and Frietag's cards flash that they may now proceed to the arena. He helps Frietag up with a smile.
Houdini: "Time to finish this thing and see about which one of us gets the title match!"
Frietag shoves Harry off guard with both hands before grabbing him and pulling him into a head lock. He releases after a moment with a chuckle.
Frietag: "After that stunt you pulled at the street vendor, that better be me going for the championship."
Houdini: "All in good fun, right? We'll see..."
************************
Dixie Clement sits up, smearing at blood on her face.
Clement: "What happened?"
"You got the jump on my Order sister. That's what."
Dixie looks around until she sees Jessica Tendonin hovering in mid-air with a stern expression. She glances at her card to see that it is flashing for her to head for the arena.
Clement: "Afriad that I'll defeat you too?"
Tendonin: "Afraid that you might die out here all alone before I get the chance to defeat you in the ring. Go earn your chance to be defeated by me."
A sonic boom later and Jessica Tendonin is gone. Dixie stands up while shaking her head to clear the cobwebs.
Clement: "Not crazy at all, is she?"
**************
Sanchez: "I have gotten word that the surviving people in the Battle through the City are making their way through the arena now to get into the ring to finish this match. One they have passed through the doors to enter the arena, all teams are dissolved."
Kemp: "Seems like some teams were pretty much dissolved right off the bat. They don't work well together like we do. C'mon, show me some titty..."
A resounding smack is heard as Selena Sanchez backhands Kenneth Kemp across the face.
Sanchez: "Care for more, boy?"
Kemp: "Alright! I'll be good! Looks like the first two are getting down to the ring. Tarrasque and Harry Houdini!"
Harry rolls into the ring, looking at Tarrasque with wide eyes. He pulls a black disc from the inside of his jacket and snaps it open to produce a top hat.
Houdini: "Care to pull a rabbit out of the hat?"
Tarrasque grins, thrusting his hand through the hat, grabbing Harry by the marbles, and lifting.
Sanchez: "That's going to leave a mark on his baby making abilities."
Kemp: "I think that hurt mine. Wanna kiss them and make it better?"
Frietag hits the ring, taking Tarrasque down, and breaking the hold with a crooked lariat. A quick turn and Frietag drops on Tarrasque with a seated senton. A ref gets into position to count the pinfall.
One...Two...Three!
Harry turns around and runs into Father Nathan.
Nathan: "You look like you're in pain. A little nap wilol help that."
Father Nathan applies the sleeper hold on Harry while Frietag stands up from eliminating Tarrasque. Dixie Clement greets Frietag in the ring and the two begin exchanging lefts and rights.
Boris Drago and Dasha hit one side of the ring while Khloe Kapla and Plate Gilby hit the other side of the ring.
Sanchez: "All the remaining challengers are in the ring now!"
Kemp: "And who will get the chance to take on Jessica Tendonin for the ASA Ascension championship?"
As the bell rings yet again to signal the defeat of Harry Houdini, Father Nathan is leveled by Boris Drago with a clothesline that sends him into a flip through the air from the impact.
Dasha bring Khloe to the mat with a headlock takedwon. Plate Gilby grabs Dixie by the hair, driving a knee into her ribcage hard enough to send her into the air.
Sanchez: "Boris with the Sea of Red to Father Nathan! I wonder how many times that we've seen this move just tonight?"
Boris with a one foot pinfall on Father Nathan. Dixie attempts to head that way, but Gilby pulls her back by the hair to her knees, and-
Sanchez: "Boris with the pinfall on Father Nathan and Plate Gilby with Temple Vice applied on Dixie. She's been struck in the head enough during the fight through the city that I don't know-"
Even as the three count is landed to eliminate Father Nathan, Dixie Clement passes out.
Khloe Kapla brings Frietag down in a backslide while Boris and Dasha begin stalking Poate Gilby.
Once the three count has been counted against Frietag, Khloe jumps up to ram and elbow into the small of Boris' back. Plate Gilby hits Dasha with a bell ringer before lifting her up into the air with a choke.
Kemp: "Khloe looks like she's going to get squished in there!"
Sanchez: "She might have something up her sleeve."
Plate Gilby plants Dasha with a chokeslam before pulling her up to a seated position to apply Temple Vice. Boris turns to help her, but is brought down with a kick to the back of the knee into a cradle for the pinfall.
Sanchez: "And just like that, we're down to just Khloe Kapla and Plate Gilby. Khloe gets her chance to avenge being knocked out earlier from an elbow shot from Gilby."
Kemp: "I think the end result will be much the same."
Khloe Kapla and Plate Gilby stand in the ring face to face. Khloe strikes Gilby in the midsection with blow after blow, but Gilby simple responds to a ham fist to the top of the head that drives Khloe to the mat.
Gilby: "You little girls think you can compete in a real man's world. You can't."
Plate Gilby picks Khloe up, only to backhand her with enough force to send her back to the ropes. He catches her by the front of her shirt with one hand, lifting her up, and slamming home several powerful headbutts.
Gilby: "Barefoot and pregnant while in the kitchen is your place."
Plate Gilby lifts Khloe up into the air and drives her to the mat by her shirt before applying the Temple Vice. It isn't long before Khloe passes out.
Sanchez: "Plate Gilby wins it and will be facing Jessica Tendonin here in a few minutes for the ASA Ascension championship!"
Kemp: "I almost feel sorry for Tendonin."
ASA Ascension Championship
Jessica Tendonin lands in the center of the ring from the skies above, looking at Plate Gilby with an easy smile.
Kemp: "What, she think that she's too good to wait for her introduction?"
Sanchez: "She was never backstage while she flew around the city to watch the match proceed."
Kemp: "I suppose."
The bell rings to start the match and Plate Gilby starts the match off by kicking Jessica right in the left knee. He palms her face as she falls to plant the back of her head against the mat with a harsh laugh. He pulls on her hair to slam the back of her neck over his knee and then slams his elbow into her throat. He backs away as the ref comes in yelling at him for using the tactics he just did.
Kemp: "See? This match is going to be over in minutes."
Jessica gets up to her hands and knees, coughing up blood onto the mat when Plate Gilby runs across the ring to deliver a punt to the ribcage with enough force to send her bouncing off of the second turnbuckle and back to the mat. She tries to rise quickly, but a kick to the side of the head drops her back to the mat.
Sanchez: "There isn't much technique to Gilby's methods, but it looks to be working."
Kemp: "What a little bitch! Jessica defeated a giant black dragon in the skies above Bulgaria five years ago, but now she can't defeat a thug with a metal plate in his head?"
Plate Gilby grabs Jessica by the front of her shirt and drags her to the center of ring where he takes great pleasure in applying Temple Vice. As Jessica was pretty much out before this even started, it was mere moments before she was passed out in the ring. Plate Gilby raises his hands in victory with a cruel laugh.
Sanchez: "I'm very disappointed that the winner of the Battle through the City and winner of the Ascension championship is a man that would be most at home with the policies and backers of the IWA. This can't be good."
Kemp: "Hopefully this doesn't damn us all. I would hate to be dead you know. Hate it."
Announcer: "Winner of the match and NEW ASA Ascension champion...Plate Gilby!"
Sanchez: "I just have a bad feeling about all of this..."
Kemp: "I'm getting word that it's time for us to go. Anderson and Walker are on their way back from their meeting for finding allies for the United States. From the urgency of the message of it being that it's time to leave, I would say that the meeting was a grand failure."
Sanchez: "This doesn't sound like a very good thing. If the United States can't get any purchase here, then the remaining free nations of Africa might also not be open to alliance."