Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Oct 29, 2020 20:43:20 GMT -6
If you want to see if real prettylike go to this link drive.google.com/file/d/0B-8YUmKSXvLBWEc0VnRqOGpKaHM/view?usp=sharing
That's the PDF version of the show and is downloadable. Shows even come with mp3 files built into the pdf for a more immersive viewing.
Legendary #4
ASA Legendary moves Minsk, Belarus to the newly freed nation. Tsar Miranov the First has transformed into a true monster and has given birth to a new race of monsters that have yet to have a name. With the remnants of the Zduhac being hunted down for their failure to help Miranov defeat the rebellion, and Imperial soldiers being slaughtered around the country. The Resistance alliance with the United States and Warhammer is gaining ground as they work to save the new enemies of the Tsar and regroup to decide how to best to defeat the Mad Tsar and his unholy forces.
The Guardian of Myth
Two people in light grey robes stand around a pedestal of stone. There are six indentations around a small hole.
"This appeared here not long ago. What is it?"
"I don't know. The master said it was important enough to guard."
"Well, how long before the next shift?"
"We just started! Twelve hours! The Master says this will also help us train our patience."
"Great. How long will that take?"
One gets out a set of tarot cards and they start the night tling each others' fortunes.
"How many times you gonna turn up Death?"
"About as many times as you do. You think it's fate?"
"Fuck no! There's no magic in stupid cards."
This is when the door to the room opens and another initiate walks into the room with a tray in his hand that has a couple of copper goblets.
"The Master says you should keep your strength up. A couple of energy drinks."
The two initiates on guard duty look at each other with looks of disgust. Energy drinks often mean a mix of horrific tasting things that all have benefits towards nutrition, energy, and such. They each take a goblet and lift them as if to drink.
That's when a bolt of energy streams through a wall, knocking the goblets from their hands. The spilled liquids begin melting the floor with a hiss. They turn to look at the wall to see their Master come through.
Simple grey robes trimmed in black, the Guardian, Mortamir Black, walks in through. He points a glowing wand at the initiate in the doorway.
Black: "Back! You will not claim this artifact!"
The two initiates back away to stand by the pedestal as the initiate in the doorway begins to melt and change shape to reveal Sikarin Tsooth with the Staff of the Seven Elders in his hand.
Tsooth: "I am so close to bringing about the fufilment of Prophesy! Nothing will stop me now! Not even the last living Tentarian..."
Sikarin motions with his free hand, sending red glowing crystal shards at the initiates. A screen of green energy shatters the crystals into nothingness. Mortamir Black moves between the pedestal and Sikarin.
Black: "Shielding spell around yourselves and the artifact!"
Mortamir sends a lance of green energy at Sikarin, but he absorbs it with the Staff, and sends it back as a cone of energy. Mortamir starts to vanish, but remembers the two initiates guarding the artifact with a weak shielding spell behind him. No time to craft another spell, he crosses his arms in front of him, and screams in pain as he takes the full force of the spell.
Sikarin chuckles as smoke curls off of burnt arms and places of Mortamir's robe.
Tsooth: "How very noble of you, Guardian. You think the Seven Elders would be proud of you now? A Guardian who has guarded nothing over the course of thousands of years. You would think that you would have done something to have stopped Thamptis. Or you might have done something to stop me..."
Mortamir reaches out quickly, grabbing the Staff of the Seven Elders.
Black: "My agents have been working against you all along. I'm not so direct as you are, Left Hand."
Tsooth: "Then your agents have failed."
The Staff of the Seven Elders begins to glow bright blue as both Mortamir and Sikarin exert their will upon it for control.
Black: "This is the weapon passed down to the Guardian chosen by the Seven Elders of the Tentarians! You have no right to it!"
Tsooth: "Then by all means...take it from me!"
Both spellcasters begin to glow bright as their battle of wills continue. Bright green for Mortamir Black and dark blue for Sikarin.
That's when the initiates behind the Guardian scream.
Mortamir turns to look, seeing that the shield spell had been broken and both initiates impaled on a long shard of steel. Sikarin backhands Mortamir, knocking him across the room to slam into the wall.
Tsooth: "So soft hearted still..."
The shard of steel melts and changes into a serpent that wraps around the pedestal.
Tsooth: "Goodbye for now, Guardian."
A flash of steel and the serpent is cut through. It dissolves into ash. Sikarin jumps back, hissing in pain. Mortamir Black stands by the pedestal with a sword in his hand that cackles with green lightning.
Black: "You won't be leaving my sanctum this time, Sikarin."
Sikarin Tsooth's hood falls back to reveal red glowing eyes and a sneer. The Staff of the Seven Elders fades away.
Tsooth: "You want to make this a final meeting? We can do that."
Sikarin draws an oversized sword of green crystal. Ghostly faces swirl inside of the sword, pressing against the inside of the blade as if in pain.
Tsooth: "You may recognize many of the souls within my Soul Harvest. You can commune with them when you join them."
Black: "Bastard!"
The blades of Mortamir and Sikarin clash, each pressing against the other with all of their strength.
Tsooth: "You fall too easy when you don't have your friends to help you!"
Mortamir shouts in shock as four serpents pull Mortamir away by his arms and legs with his sword falling away. He screams as his energies are ripped away to be absorbed by Sikarin.
Tsooth: "My children are entering the lower levels of your sanctum as we speak. Not a morsel of flesh will be left on the bones of your followers when they get done. Goodbye, Guardian...Last of the Tentarians."
Sikarin runs Mortamir through the chest with Soul Harvest. Streams of energy flow from Mortamir's body and into the sword, stripping him of color until he turns to ash. Mortamir's face appears on the inside of the sword.
Sikarin laughs, sheathing the sword inside of his robe. He looks to the pedestal.
Tsooth: "Nearly finished. Time for the Coins and the Dagger."
Confrontation
In the security control room, Captain Trevor Maathis stands at a desk. Terel Walker stands with Leryn Franco Walker and Sebastian Basurto in front of them. None of them look very happy.
Terel: "Where is Allen Anderson?"
Maathis: "He isn't here right now. He is going to try to make the show, but there's the chance he may not be here in time. So then, it'd be your first solo show from being back."
Leryn: "Maybe you can answer our questions."
Trevor looks from face to face, seeing their expressions. He sighs, stopping what he's doing on a laptop.
Maathis: "If I have the answers, I will give them to you."
Terel: "Anderson and I went to Desolation for a mission. When I was captured, why wasn't someone sent to get me right away?"
Maathis: "The time had to be properly selected. Just sending a force in directly would have been suicide."
Basurto: "Contacting Jessica Tendonin and her Dragon sisters to have them go would not have been suicide!"
Maathis: "We needed to have stability in Africa until the board meeting. If we could have saved you and not swept Desolation clean of life until the Warhammer Corporation could have moved the production elsewhere. It was strictly business."
Leryn Franco Walker blinks and she moves before Terel or Sebastian can react. She slams both of her hands onto the table.
Leryn: "You based on when my husband could be saved based around business? Are you serious right now?"
Maathai: "Ma'am. If I wasn't serious, I would have been laughing. A serious blow had been struck against those fighting evil with the death of the Cardinal. Millions died with the destruction of Desolation. All this so one person can be free. You tell me, ma'am. Am I serious? You were all kept in the dark and Sebastian's mouth silenced because we knew you would be idiots and we would be sitting here with this mess. Desolation was torn apart with the Cardinal's death. The toxins that were somehow contained within the industrial hell that he created are spreading throughout Africa and endanger many more lives."
Leryn's eyes go wide as she steps back away from the desk.
Leryn: "Millions of lives?"
Trevor slams his fist on the table, making everyone else in the room jump.
Maathai: "Millions dead and millions to come because one man had to be saved. Stand there and tell me it's worth it! Go on! One of you tell me!"
Terel: "You know what? A mistake might have been made in saving me, but you could mind some manners when speaking to my wife. You can be fired, you know."
Trevor just shrugs with a grin.
Maathai: "Go for it. Who you going to have replace me? Hmm? The guy that used to run security for you? Think he could also plan military operations? He wasn't much more than a bouncer. Jason Tendonin? He could design something. Let's just say that mistakes were made on both sides and be done with it. You're here alive and Desolation has been destroyed. Ignado Urizar can deal with the fallout of what's going on in Africa."
There's a long silence before anyone speaks. Terel eventually nods stiffly.
Terel: "That will work. I need an update on everything I've missed so we can decide where to go from here."
Maathai: "I'll have a report for you in about an hour."
Terel: "Good."
The three leave the room so that Captain Maathai is by himself again. He shakes his head, lighting a cigarette.
Maathai: "I don't get paid enough for this."
Opening
As people get settled in for the start of the show, the lights dim and the JumboTron starts to light up to the intro music of the night. You know the kind of music that sets the theme for the night.
So you know, when the JumboTron shuts off and the lights come back on with Never Been begins to play with Terel Walker stepping out onto the entrance stage.
The arena is silent for a moment as everyone stares at the ASA co-owner that had been reported as missing. Then the arena is filled with sounds as everyone begin to cheer at once. Terel Walker waves with smiles, waiting for everyone to quiet down enough for him to speak.
Walker: "For a long time, I was held prisoner in a dread place known as the Tower of Faith! Thanks to one man...Father Nathan O'Connell, I can walk amongst you again and help in the good fight against Carthage! Tonight will be a grand night as we have a new Ascension champion to be crowned with the main event! Have a great night everyone, and stay safe!"
We go down to the commentary table as Terel heads to the back where sit Kenneth Kemp and Selena Sanchez.
Sanchez: "I'm glad that Walker is back with us! I know I was worried. You?"
Kemp: "What? Umm, yeah. Worried and all that."
Sanchez: "Not listening as normal. Let's head to the ring."
Kemp: "I'd like to get into her ring..."
Sanchez: "What?"
Kemp: "Nothing. MaLisha Wilson is waiting!"
Ross vs Houdini
Wilson: "This next match is scheduled for one fall! Featuring first, weighing in at five hundred pounds...'the Fury' Devin Ross!"
"Till I Collapse" by Eminem as Devin Ross makes his way down to the ring. The crowd remain silent as this mammoth of a man steps over the top rope.
Kemp: "My God...he looks like he could eat his opponent in one bite!"
Sanchez: "Well, it's good that this isn't an 'Eat Your Opponent' match?"
Kemp: "We have those? What the *beep*?"
Sanchez: "We're probably not far off from having them..."
Wilson: "And his opponent, weighing in at one hundred and ninety-nine pounds...Harry 'Handcuffs' Houdini!"
"Great Escape" by Audio Empire starts to play as Harry Houdini walks out from the back to the cheering of the fans. He takes a few steps before dropping out of sight. Fans look for the trap door, but can't find any.
Kemp: "There wasn't any distracting smoke! How the heck did he do that?"
Sanchez: "Skill?"
The referee pulls out a folded piece of paper. He unfolds it to about a two foot by two foot picture of a door, setting it down on the mat. He knows on it, and it opens for Harry Houdini to step into the ring. Harry closes the door, folds the paper up, and hands it back to the ref. Harry looks to the crowd with an arrogant grin, bathing in the shock and cheers of the fans.
Kemp: "What the-"
Sanchez: "Can you cool it with the foul mouth before I have to have your mic cut!"
Kemp: "Yeah. Sure, honey."
As the bell rings, Harry walks over to look up (way up) to the face of Devin Ross. He motions that he's going to bodyslam Devin to the mat.
Kemp: "Harry's insane! He's giving up three hundred pounds to this guy!"
Sanchez: "Stranger things have happened. Like stepping out of a door made of paper."
Kemp: "How is he going to bring down Ross at all?"
Harry pulls a small toy plane out of his pocket and begins winding it up.
Kemp: "No..."
Sanchez: "What? He has a toy?"
Devin looks at Harry in confusion, but sends a punch his way. Harry easily dodges, sending the plane into the air. He keeps away from Devin's reach, sending a second plane up into the air. Both planes fly around.
Kemp: "I don't think it's been enough time. Don't do it!"
Sanchez: "Do what?"
Kemp: "Seriously? Call Devin Ross the World Trade Center..."
Sanchez: "I still don't understand?"
One of the planes crashes into the side of Devin's head, exploding as it does so. Devin staggers from the impact.
Kemp: "And you know it now. Say it!"
Sanchez: "OH MY GOD, A PLANE HAS CRASHED INTO THE WORLD TRADE CENTER! Wait..."
Kemp: "Yes?"
Sanchez: "Did a plane crash into the World Trade Center?"
Kenneth stares at Selena, not noticing the second plane crashing into Devin's face, exploding, and bringing the giant down.
Kemp: "How old are you?"
Sanchez: "A second plane has crashed into the World Trade Center! Oh the humanity, he's crashing down!"
Harry covers the downed Devin Ross.
One...Two...Three!
Kemp: "Terrorist attack? September 11, 2001? Not ring a damn bell? Brought the World Trade Center down?"
Sanchez: "Ooohhh yeah. I forgot."
The Sickness vs Hardcore
"Can't Keep Still" by KPM Music starts playing. "Hardcore" Chris Mmachi walks out from the back with a smile and a mic.
Kemp: "Does he not know to wait until he's called?"
Sanchez: "Doesn't seem that way."
Mmachi: "I don't think York is going to make his match. Can I win by default or count out?"
The JumboTron lights up to reveal Will York laying half-way in a dumpster, blood splattered everywhere.
Mmachi: "I can't say that I did this, but I can't deny not doing it either. So what say you?"
The fans cheer on Chris Mmachi and MaLisha Wilson just shrugs in the ring.
Wilson: "Winner of this match via count out...Chris Mmachi!"
Chris Mmachi waves to the cheering fans with a big smile.
Mmachi: "Thanks! Thanks so much!"
Kemp: "I'd say what a loser, but it isn't like York was going to give us a great match anyway."
Sanchez: "True, but boring."
Sleight of Hand
The Fury of Sikarin Tsooth
Inside the Citadel of the Left Hand, Sikarin Tsooth stands inside of his Tower of the Thousand Voices. The murmurings of the sufferings of his captured spellcasters and their mental anguish as their energies are torn from them even as his servants feed them and tend to them as one might a garden.
The pedestal he had taken from the Guardian's sanctum in the Atlantic Ocean rests in the center. Sikarin paces around it with a near light hearted joy.
He starts placing the Coins into position one by one until all six Coins are in place. He then inserts the Golden Dagger into place and twists it. He frowns when nothing happens.
Tsooth: "What is wrong here? Does it need to be done in a different location?"
Sikarin Tsooth places a finger on each Coin and nods as he feels the energies from each flow into him. He stops at the last Coin, feeling nothing. He picks the Coin up, turning it over in his hand.
Tsooth: "What's wrong with this Coin?"
That's when he realizes that it's the Coin of Faith and Willpower.
Tsooth: "O'Connell gave me a fake coin! I was going to kill his little bitch friend and he still has the gall to give me a fake Coin!"
"You thought he would give you the real Coin just like that?"
Sikarin frowns as a ghostly humanoid shape manifests nearby. It's in a robe with it's hands in its sleeves. Nothing of its face can be seen in the darkness of its hood. Its voice comes out as a chorus of thousands of voices.
Xichu Fa. The Gesault Mage.
It can't do anything, but appear and speak. It can really only do this because Sikarin has allowed it. It is a gesault merging of all of the personalities of all of his imprisoned spellcasters.
Tsooth: "It only made sense. His sweet little Mary was going to die. Who knew that he had a fake Coin to give at all?"
"Didn't you give him a fake coin as an example of what to look for?"
Then Sikarin remembers that he had done just that in his disguise when sending the Priest on this mission in the first place.
Tsooth: "Begone!"
The apparition vanishes, leaving Sikarin alone.
Tsooth: "He dares impede my quest when it is so close to completion!"
The Staff of the Seven Elders appears in Sikarin's hand, the Orb glowing a bright blue.
The air nearby cracks with the sound of breaking glass. It shatters, leaving a gaping hole of swirling power in the air. Sikarin points the end of the staff at the hole, sending two streams of blue power through.
Seconds later, two men are pulled through.
Tsooth: "Taag Sha! Tu Sha! I want you to go find Father Nathan O'Connell! Bring him to me alive! He'll be with the ASA company. You won't make their current show, but will make their next. Kill his companions if they put up a fight."
Taag Sha and Tu Sha bow to Sikarin Tsooth and exit back the way that they came in. Sikarin motions with the staff, closing the hole back.
Tsooth: "You'll suffer once you are my guest, Priest. Then you'll beg to give me the final Coin!"
The Children of the Mad Tsar
A city somewhere in Russia, people run in fear. Resistance fighters, Shocktroopers, and American soldiers stand and fight, but they seem to also quickly give ground.
Giant lizard humanoids with thorned vines growing from and through their bodies in constant writhing motion rush at the defenders. They are naked except a loin cloth with a belt of human skulls and they carry giant axes that cleave through anything they contact with frightening ease. Bullets only seem to bounce off of their thick hides and blades are either turned or broken.
They sweep through any human they catch with blades, claws, teeth, thorns, and spiked tails. The dead are enveloped by thorned vines, transforming them into new behemoth reptillian monsters that pick up nearby weapons to join the fighting.
They do not speak except in hisses and roars. Sounds that rip through the very souls of everyone who hears to strike upon primal fears. Only the trained minds of those standing against them do not easily break and run in a panic.
Or in the cases of some civilians, curl up into a fetal position and cry until they are crushed underfoot.
An even larger monstrosity walks amongst the other monsters. He bears a a Crown of Thorns upon his head as surveys the destruction and assimilation of the Russian people.
The look of pure madness is still very much in the eyes of Tsar Ionis Miranov as blood leaks from the thorned vines piercing his flesh, the suffering of the Russian people still harming and empowering him.
He has grown in stature since his transformation, standing nearly sixteen feet tall compared to the eight to twelve feet of his children.
Miranov: "Run! You all spurned my guidance and defied my leadership! Now, you will die and join me!"
"We shall be a free people!"
A Resistance fighter leaps at the Tsar with a spear. The tip shatters against the hide of Ionis and he is grabbed up by the tail of the Tsar before he can run.
He is held upside down in the air in front of the Tsar, who regards him with an arrogant stare.
Miranov: "You think you can kill me with a spear? Mortal weapons can do me no harm! You can perform a service in being my meal!"
Ionis opens his mouth wide, revealing rows of sharp, venom dripping teeth as his jaw unhinges. The man rips open his shirt with a laugh.
"Eat this!"
Someone screams "No!" (Presumably a relative or ally) as explosives are revealed.
The explosion levels the titanic Tsar to the ground, making his children rally around him. It gives the defenders the time needed to help civilians escape the area and follow.
Tsar Ionis Miranov slowly stands up. He bleeds from numerous wounds and burns, but he heals quickly and the thorned vines quickly regrow. He laughs.
Miranov: "I cannot be slain! I am Russia! I am the future!"
Heir to the Cardinal
The Dark Son
In a warehouse in South Africa, Ignado Urizar stands behind a podium. In front of him is the entire gathered host of the Inquisition Honor Guard of Mariano Urizar. He had them all recalled from various fronts to speak to them about the passing of the Cardinal.
Urizar: "It has been a tragic blow that has been dealt to Warhammer Africa with the death of my father and the destruction of Desolation. Though truth be told, he was a jackass for having the soul of the division set to be destroyed in the case of his death. I know that he hated me, but this was a bit extreme."
The crowd of elite Shocktroopers remain silent and unmoving, even as the crack of a gunshot is heard.
The bullet, meant for Ignado's head, explodes just millimeters from the man's eyeball. The shimmer of a force field flows across the upper body of the man and he smiles without effect. Not even a flinch from the flare of the exploding round.
Ignado casually points his finger in the direction where the bullet came from. A lance of energy streams from his fingertip, striking a hidden sniper on the roof of a sub building inside the warehouse.
Urizar: "The rivals of my father think that I am weak. That while I am rallying my assets to fully take control of this division, that they can kill me and seize control. They would be wrong."
Two large sliding warehouse doors open on either side of the gathered troops with more Shocktroopers coming into the large room. To one side are what appear to be giant Shocktroopers in dark brown armor. To the other are Shocktroopers in red armor.
All of them have little parchment scrolls attached to their armor and inscribed sigils and scriptures.
They are not scriptures of God. Horns, spines, and demonic faces decorate the armor.
Urizar: "Meet my Nephilim and Cambion. My new Honor Guard."
An angry murmuring begins throughout the Inquisition Shocktroopers, but Ignado Urizar raises a hand with a smile.
Urizar: "Being a Satanist, you can easily tell why my father hated me. You can also understand why I will now be letting you all go in the manner traditional to the Warhammer Corporation. Goodbye, gentlemen."
The Nephilim and Cambion open fire on the Inquisition Guard, cutting them down in the crossfire. A few manage to get out weapons and return fire to take a few of their enemies down with them, but all of them are slaughtered in seconds. The new Honor Guard walk through the downed Shocktroopers, cutting, shooting, and crushing the wounded underfoot to finish the last of them. A simple clay goblet of blood is passed to Ignado while the others fill their own goblets with the blood of the dead men.
Ignado raises his goblet high with a wide smile. A motion that is mirrored by everyone standing in the room.
Urizar: "To a new age! A reborn Warhammer Africa!"
"To a new age!"
Ignado drinks deep of the goblet, the warm blood dripping around the sides of his mouth. Everyone in the room also drink of their cups before cheering the new Director on.
"To a new age!"
"To a new age!"
Ignado sets his empty goblet down with a laugh before his expression turns serious once again.
Urizar: "Now, my father hated me and he was a fool. Still, only I should have been allowed the honor of murdering him. Avenge his death! We have footage of his killer. Seek him out and kill him! Do it in whatever way makes you the most happy!"
A screen rises behind Ignado Urizar, showing footage of Father Nathan O'Connell throwing Cardinal Mariano Urizar into the hole in the floor to kill him.
Urizar: "Do not let this dishonor stand! Go!"
Clowny vs Clement
Wilson: "This next contest has been scheduled for one fall! Featuring first, hailing from parts unknown...Mr. Clowny!"
The cosmic sounds of "Calamity" swirl as the arena darkens. An ominous purple light shines from the entrance way. As the clown horns go off in the song, Mr. Clowny's ice cream truck drives down the aisle. A hatch opens from the top, and Clowny is propelled by the ejection seat all the way into the ring. With the wave of his hand, he summons a cupcake for a little pre-match sugar rush. As he eats it, his eyes begin to glow in random colors.
Kemp: "Do we really want to know what might be inside of that cupcake?"
Sanchez: "Probably not."
Wilson: "And his opponent, hailing from San Antonio, Texas...Dixie Clement!"
"Tornado" by Little Big Town plays over the PA and Dixie comes out from the backstage area, pausing at the top of the entryway as she takes her hat off and waves to the crowd before making her way down the rampway and sliding into the ring, removing her hat and duster, hanging them on one of the ringposts as she waits the beginning of the fight.
Sanchez: "This is the first time that we've really seen Dixie back since she was injured by Boris Drago awhile ago. She's probably not thrilled by the idea of having to face a clown in the ring for her return bout."
Kemp: "I wouldn't be either. He's insane! Though let's be honest, most of us are insane to be here so close to Russia in the first place."
Sanchez: "Then you won't like where I heard our next show was going to be."
Kemp: "Where?"
Sanchez: "I'll tell you later."
As the bell rings to start the match, Dixie catches Mr. Clowny with several stiff punches< bringing him down to the mat with a European uppercut. She kicks him in the side of the head.
Clement: "Thought you were real cute with that cake, didn't ya?"
Clowny: "I thought it was a sweet come on! Hoo hoo! You interested?"
Dixie's response is to pull Mr. Clowny part way up and kick him in the center of the spine with enough force to send Clowny flat on his face with a loud *honk*
Dixie pulls Mr. Clowny (ok rips him up) up, but catches a finger in the eye before being picked up and dropped with an inverted atomic drop. Clowny picks up the stunned Dixie onto his shoulders and spins her around for an airplane spin before dropping her to the mat.
Clowny: "Smack my Mack, girlie! You coulda just said not interested!"
Clowny runs across the ring as Dixie slowly gets up. He leaps through the air, turning as she gets to her knees, and-
Kemp: "He just knock Dixie down with his ass?"
Sanchez: "It sure looks like it."
Kemp: "He's just going to piss her off. Isn't he?"
Sanchez: "Oh you have no idea."
Clowny rolls Dixie over, going for the cover.
One...Two...Dixie kicks out.
Clowny rises to his knees, looking down at Dixie with a wide (drunken?) grin. He reaches down and-
Kemp: "What the *beep*? Clowny's twisting a nipple?"
Sanchez: "If Clowny doesn't have a shovel, he better get one fast."
Dixie lets out a cry of pain as Clowny painfuly twists both nipples.
Clowny: "Tune in Tokyo! Hoo hoo!"
Dixie reaches up, seizing Clowny by the throat with gritted teeth. He releases her quickly, but she does not. They both rise to their feet with Dixie holding the choke hold. She releases him to grab his head for a Jawbreaker! She waits for him to get back up and-
Sanchez: "Cowgirl Kick! Clowny is laid out on the mat!"
Kemp: "Good time for a cover then."
Dixie does go for the cover...
One...Two...Clowny kicks out.
Dixie rises to her knees, but grabs Clowny by the red nose. *honk* She lifts his head up by a foot, and then slams his head back into the mat. So it sounds a bit like this.
*honk!* *bam!* *honk!* *bam!* *honk!* *bam!* *honk!* *bam!* *honk!* *bam!* *honk!* *bam!* *honk!* *bam!*
Dixie releases the nose, standing up to look down at Clowny. His eyes are rolling around in his head as one might expect a cartoon character from being bashed in the head many times. This makes Dixie shake her head, but she quickly climbs to the top rope.
Sanchez: "Are those stars flying around Clowny's head?"
Kemp: "No, those are strippers with cake frosting outfits..."
Dixie flies off of the top rope, landing a frogsplash on the downed Clowny, but she quickly gets up, and kicks him in the side of the face. A mixture of blood and frosting sprays from Clowny's mouth across the mat.
Clement: "What the Hell is wrong with you?"
Clowny: "Sweet Zombie Jesus on a Stick! Nothing a bit of my kububbling your shermoigan can't solve! Give us a little lick, yeah?"
Dixie was going to start a move, but stops and stares with her mouth open. Clowny uses the opening to pull her down into a small package.
One...Two...Thre-Dixie kicks out!
Kemp: "See? A bit of dirtiness goes a long way!"
Dixie rises up, pulling Clowny with her, and powerslams him into the corner, setting him up in the Tree of Woe. She stands up, stomping down into his face while screaming things that the censor has to work furiously to keep up with. So yes...a long stream of beeps and honks ensues. The ref manages to pull Dixie away and we can see a puddle of blood and bright purple icing on the mat. He helps Clowny down and to his feet.
Clowny: "Thanks, mister! You'll go right on my Christmas Cupcake list!"
Clowny takes two steps towards Dixie...and falls flat on his face. Dixie picks him up, starts hooking him for a suplex and-
Sanchez: "Texas Hurricane! This one is all over folks!"
Dixie quickly goes for the cover. One...Two...Three!
Kemp: "Never piss of a Texan, eh?"
Sanchez: "This isn't Fargo."
Kemp: "What?"
Wilson: "The winner of this match via pinfall...Dixie Clement!"
The Once Mighty Zduhac
In a small near deserted village, the houses and buildings are gutted out. A ramshackle wall is up around the church in the center of town.
Inside of this church, a dozen men and women sort of mill about. Pews have been pressed up against the walls and torn apart to board up windows. It looks as if they have been sleeping on the floor here for at least a week.
A small man is up on the wall of the building near the top of the window where a hole is. Being far from a normal human, he has four additional spidery limbs that help him hold onto the wall. He looks back at the ragged bunch.
"They're at the edge of the village!"
The group of people gather their weapons. Some of them shift into wolfen forms to reveal their Vucari nature, a few grow fang and claws to show that they are Vampr, and a few are even odder still.
They are the once mighty Zduhac. The former supernatural army of the Tsar.
Cast aside and hunted now that the Tsar has transformed and given birth to a new race of monsters that have begun to transform everyone in sight.
Right now, about six of these hulking creatures have come.
A Vampr woman looks across at the others with her in the room. She smiles at them.
"It has been an honor to serve the Tsar with you all. If we must die-"
A Vucari male howls, cutting her off.
"Zduhac do not die, bitch! The Zduhac kill their enemies and be done with it!"
A Zduhac with an enlarged forehead steps between the two as they snarl at each other.
"We have been losing since Baba Yaga and the others were killed. We have been losing to the Russian humans and their allies. Now, we are also being killed by the Tsar's monsters. We might be able to side with our enemies, but right now we have to live through the day. We outnumber these creatures. Let us kill them and escape!"
The spider Zduhac becomes shrill in his yelling before he drops down to join the others, grabbing up six daggers.
"They are here!"
The sounds of the outer wall being torn down resounds through the near empty church. Everyone tenses up as the reptillian growls can be heard through the walls of the church, and their footsteps shake the boards covering the windows loose.
Then there is silence.
The Zduhac look at each other, not daring to hope that the monsters had simply left or had been recalled at the last second.
That hope is forever dashed when the front doors to the church explode inwards along with much of the wall to allow two of the creatures inside.
There is no speaking at this time as the Tsar's monsters rush into the room and attack. The Zduhac do not speak as they enter battle.
It is still a losing battle.
The spider Zduhac is torn apart by a creature's bare hands.
A Vampr attempt to devour the blood of a creature results in the Vampr falling to the ground and beginning to transform into a creature.
Blades are broken against the hides of these creatures. Guns fail as well.
From start to finish, the battle lasts a total of ten minutes. During the course of it, only a couple of the Tsar's monsters are brought down through sacrifice and claws.
Once the battle is done, the bodies begin growing the twisted thorned vines. They burst apart with new growth until new monsters stand with the others to move on and kill others to add them into the growing army.
Candice vs Boris
Wilson: "The match between Candice Kingston and Boris Drago has been canceled. Neither Candice or Boris have checked into the arena tonight."
Kemp: "Wonderful. What could have been a great match tonight has turned into nothing."
Sanchez: "I think Boris Drago is still in Russia with Dasha. The fighting has become increasingly desperate since the Tsar transformed into whatever he is now."
Kemp: "Still sucks. I wonder where Candice is then?"
Sanchez: "Shall we say it? Probably suckling on Jessica Tendonin's teat someplace."
Kemp: "...I'd like to see that actually."
Sanchez: "Pervert."
Kemp: "And proud of it! If you whip them teats out, I'd suckle them right now!"
Sanchez: "Keep dreaming."
Kemp: "Oh, I will..."
Sanchez: "Gross!"
Might of the Right Hand
A mighty warrior strides across a battlefield. A beast of a man that stands nearly twelve feet tall with thick metallic armor the color of tarnished iron with ancient blood stains. His face is hidden within a large horned helmet with vertical slits. His voice booms out like the grinding of stone on stone.
"Go my Chaos Knights! Let these creatures know that the master that they serve is wrong!"
Golbez, the Right Hand of Chaos. He points a massive sword at a battle where humans attempt to hold back nearly forty of the reptillian monsters of the Tsar. Ten warriors sweep past Golbez, each a smaller version of himself with minor variations in armor and weapons. They stand eight to ten feet tall as opposed to Golbez standing nearly twelve.
The humans turn and open fire on Golbez and his Chaos Knights, but the small arms fire bounces off impossibly thick ancient iron armor. A few of the monsters turn to meet the Chaos Knights head on.
Where others have found that their blades have been turned by the thick reptillian hide of the monsters, the blades of the Chaos Knights reap.
The effect is stunning as the first monster is ripped open from throat to crotch by the axe of a Chaos Knight.
The monsters seem to quickly uncertain as their blows are turned by the armor of the Knights and they start losing in numbers.
This revitalizes the morale of the human defenders as they go on the assault. Their strikes become much more accurate as they begin aiming for vulnerable points in the monsters. Eyes, noses, mouths, and even anal cavities.
Yes, at least one massive reptillian monster has been brought down low by an assault rifle being shoved up its ass and the clip emptied inside of it.
A monster manages to knock away the weapon of a Chaos Knight and grabs its arms. Thorned vines grow over the arms of the Chaos Knight as the creature tests its strength against that of the Knight.
Thorns that have ripped into tanks to find the mortals within can find no way into the armor of the Chaos Knight.
The Knight moves, ripping the arms of the monster out of socket before tearing its heart out with its bare hand.
Though the defenders are winning, Golbez enters the combat himself with a grinding laugh that gives even the seemingly unintelligent creatures pause (and making more than a few humans back clear away).
Every motion of the warlord seems to take a life. His massive sword cleaves, his elbows crush, and even his boots turn reptillian monsters into pulp.
Though they lose lives by the second, the Children of the Mad Tsar do not retreat. It is simply as if they do not know how to do so.
More of these monsters join the battle and seem to stream in constantly from the West of the field, but they are harvested clean as soon as they arrive.
Once the battle is finished, hundreds of the creatures lay dead on the ground with their blood transforming into a green mud. One of the human defenders approaches Golbez. He starts to put out his hand, but then thinks better of it when Golbez looks down upon him.
"We would have died without your help. Thank you!"
Golbez nods, a harsh laugh startling the man.
Golbez: "We fight as allies today because of old alliances the Left Hand has made with the men of Warhammer. It will not last forever. So, make peace with your Gods, mortal, and make room in your heart for the return of the one who will rule all of this planet as He once did long ago."
The man nods nervously, which makes Golbez chuckle. The sound still makes the man seem as if he may want to run in fright.
Golbez: "What I mean to say is this. You are welcome. We go where battle is and these creatures that the Tsar has created provide ample sport. We will continue on to find more of these to kill. I did not mean to frighten you. Yet."
The man watches as Golbez and his Chaos Knights leave, waiting until they are out of sight to sigh in relief.
"I hope they never become our enemies..."
Ascension Championship
Wilson: "This next match is scheduled for one fall and is for the ASA Ascension championship! Featuring first the challenger, weighing in at two hundred and twenty-five pounds...Father Nathan O'Connell!"
The lights in the arena dim as ‘God’s Gonna Cut You Down’ by Johnny Cash plays over the PA and Father Nathan makes his way out from the back, carrying his cross. He looks over the crowd and takes in their reaction before nodding and making his way down to the ring, setting up his cross to stand on its own as he climbs into the ring and prepares for the fight.
Kemp: "I heard that Father Nathan is the reason that Terel Walker made it back to run the show tonight."
Sanchez: "You weren't listening at the start of the show where he thanked Father Nathan for the rescue?"
Kemp: "Was I supposed to be listening? I was watching that pretty red head over there and her bouncing aaahh excitment."
Sanchez: "Yes. Father Nathan went down into Africa to a place of myth and legend called Desolation where Cardinal Mariano Urizar of Warhammer Africa ruled his division on high from the Tower of Faith. He saved Terel, killed the Cardinal, and brought down all of Desolation."
Kemp: "So, he killed the Cardinal? I thought he was like Immortal or something. He was just so...evil."
Sanchez: "He did and so we have yet to see the ramifications of this."
Wilson: "And his opponent, weighing in at three hundred pounds...Frietag!"
"Gently" by Slipknot begins playing as Frietag walks out from the back. He looks around at the crowd before walking down to the ring.
Kemp: "You think he would change out his prisoner shirt and get clean boots."
Sanchez: "I think he wants to remember where he came from and how Warhammer treated him afterwards. As much help as this company has done for the world, they have done plenty of harm. Ten dark deeds for every angelic one."
As the bell rings to start the match, Father Nathan staggers Frietag with a couple of forearm clubs to the side of the head and shoulders. He follows this up with a Russian Legsweep to bring the man down, turning to strike him in the center of the chest with an elbow before rising.
Sanchez: "Father Nathan looks to be on his game tonight."
Kemp: "Apparently, fighting your way through Hell can make one hungry for Gold."
Father Nathan brings Frietag up to apply a full nelson. He only holds the move for a few seconds before bringing him down onto his face. He quickly grabs Frietag's legs, applying a Boston Crab.
Kemp: "So have I heard the rules of this title right? It used to be that you had to defend the title five times to get the shot at the World champion, but now you only have to defend it once?"
Sanchez: "That would be correct. Our lighter schedule and what not. It was Anderson's idea."
Kemp: "I should have known. Who thought it was a good idea for him to buy his way in?"
Sanchez: "Walker apparently."
Frietag reaches the ropes to cause the ref to break the hold. Both men stand up quickly with Frietag hitting a punch to the midsection that lifts Father Nathan up into the air. He looks grim as he smashes Father Nathan into the corner with blow after blow.
Sanchez: "Frietag once faced the firing squad for his desertion of Warhammer during the Fourth Punic War, but could he really have been faulted? So many died in Turkey as Carthage steamrolled through the nation. Many Shocktroopers were left behind in the bloody wake, and if they didn't return immediately to the nearest Warhammer facility for reassignment, they were shot for desertion? It's pure ignorance!"
The ref comes in to separate Frietag and Father Nathan to let Father Nathan lean in the corner for support, blood dripping from his nose and mouth. Frietag sneers, shoving the ref aside and punt kicking a low blow. Father Nathan's eyes bulge as he drops to the mat. The ref shoves Frietag back, shouting at him.
Kemp: "Frietag better watch it or else he could wind up being disqualified."
Frietag starts pulling Father Nathan up, but is caught as Father Nathan lunges up. He grabs Frietag as if for a belly to belly suplex, and brings him around, but Frietag lands on his feet. A quick knee to the crotch doubles Frietag over, and Father Nathan power bombs him onto the mat.
Father Nathan steps back into a crouch as Frietag slowly gets to his feet. He luncges in to go for the Heart Punch, but Frietag grabs him by the wrist, and whips him into the sropes. Father Nathan comes back on the rebound, dodging around a clothesline, and grabbing Frietag from behind for the sleeper hold!
Sanchez: "Father Nathan is famous for having perfected this hold! Few people have ever escaped from this once he's applied it!"
Kemp: "Frietag managed to avoid the heart punch, maybe he can get out of this."
Frietag tries to get an elbow in to break Father Nathan away, but can't manage it. He tries staggering to the ropes, but Father Nathan knees him in the back of the leg to bring him down and apply even more pressure. As the seconds go by, the ref comes in to check Frietag's arm as it stops flailing about.
One drop.
Two drops.
Sanchez: "This could be it!"
Three drops!
The ref signals for the bell and Father Nathan drops Frietag to the mat, raising his hands in the air.
Wilson: "The winner via submission and NEW ASA Ascension champion....Father Nathan!"
Sanchez: "He did it! Father Nathan has won the Ascension championship! Now, he only has to defend the title once and he can challenge Dasha for the World title!"
Kemp: "Thanks to Anderson for short cutting things..."
Sanchez: "Well, that's all the time we have for tonight. Stay tuned for the next episode of Legendary as we come to you LIVE FROM MOSCOW, RUSSIA! There's no arena, but there will be a ring someplace and plenty of...plenty of action!"
Kemp: "What? Did you say Moscow?"
Sanchez: "Yep. I hear Walker has something up his sleeve to help defeat the Tsar once and for all."
Kemp: "And we'll have a wrestling show in the middle of all this?"
Sanchez: "Yep."
Kemp: "Fuck."
That's the PDF version of the show and is downloadable. Shows even come with mp3 files built into the pdf for a more immersive viewing.
Legendary #4
ASA Legendary moves Minsk, Belarus to the newly freed nation. Tsar Miranov the First has transformed into a true monster and has given birth to a new race of monsters that have yet to have a name. With the remnants of the Zduhac being hunted down for their failure to help Miranov defeat the rebellion, and Imperial soldiers being slaughtered around the country. The Resistance alliance with the United States and Warhammer is gaining ground as they work to save the new enemies of the Tsar and regroup to decide how to best to defeat the Mad Tsar and his unholy forces.
The Guardian of Myth
Two people in light grey robes stand around a pedestal of stone. There are six indentations around a small hole.
"This appeared here not long ago. What is it?"
"I don't know. The master said it was important enough to guard."
"Well, how long before the next shift?"
"We just started! Twelve hours! The Master says this will also help us train our patience."
"Great. How long will that take?"
One gets out a set of tarot cards and they start the night tling each others' fortunes.
"How many times you gonna turn up Death?"
"About as many times as you do. You think it's fate?"
"Fuck no! There's no magic in stupid cards."
This is when the door to the room opens and another initiate walks into the room with a tray in his hand that has a couple of copper goblets.
"The Master says you should keep your strength up. A couple of energy drinks."
The two initiates on guard duty look at each other with looks of disgust. Energy drinks often mean a mix of horrific tasting things that all have benefits towards nutrition, energy, and such. They each take a goblet and lift them as if to drink.
That's when a bolt of energy streams through a wall, knocking the goblets from their hands. The spilled liquids begin melting the floor with a hiss. They turn to look at the wall to see their Master come through.
Simple grey robes trimmed in black, the Guardian, Mortamir Black, walks in through. He points a glowing wand at the initiate in the doorway.
Black: "Back! You will not claim this artifact!"
The two initiates back away to stand by the pedestal as the initiate in the doorway begins to melt and change shape to reveal Sikarin Tsooth with the Staff of the Seven Elders in his hand.
Tsooth: "I am so close to bringing about the fufilment of Prophesy! Nothing will stop me now! Not even the last living Tentarian..."
Sikarin motions with his free hand, sending red glowing crystal shards at the initiates. A screen of green energy shatters the crystals into nothingness. Mortamir Black moves between the pedestal and Sikarin.
Black: "Shielding spell around yourselves and the artifact!"
Mortamir sends a lance of green energy at Sikarin, but he absorbs it with the Staff, and sends it back as a cone of energy. Mortamir starts to vanish, but remembers the two initiates guarding the artifact with a weak shielding spell behind him. No time to craft another spell, he crosses his arms in front of him, and screams in pain as he takes the full force of the spell.
Sikarin chuckles as smoke curls off of burnt arms and places of Mortamir's robe.
Tsooth: "How very noble of you, Guardian. You think the Seven Elders would be proud of you now? A Guardian who has guarded nothing over the course of thousands of years. You would think that you would have done something to have stopped Thamptis. Or you might have done something to stop me..."
Mortamir reaches out quickly, grabbing the Staff of the Seven Elders.
Black: "My agents have been working against you all along. I'm not so direct as you are, Left Hand."
Tsooth: "Then your agents have failed."
The Staff of the Seven Elders begins to glow bright blue as both Mortamir and Sikarin exert their will upon it for control.
Black: "This is the weapon passed down to the Guardian chosen by the Seven Elders of the Tentarians! You have no right to it!"
Tsooth: "Then by all means...take it from me!"
Both spellcasters begin to glow bright as their battle of wills continue. Bright green for Mortamir Black and dark blue for Sikarin.
That's when the initiates behind the Guardian scream.
Mortamir turns to look, seeing that the shield spell had been broken and both initiates impaled on a long shard of steel. Sikarin backhands Mortamir, knocking him across the room to slam into the wall.
Tsooth: "So soft hearted still..."
The shard of steel melts and changes into a serpent that wraps around the pedestal.
Tsooth: "Goodbye for now, Guardian."
A flash of steel and the serpent is cut through. It dissolves into ash. Sikarin jumps back, hissing in pain. Mortamir Black stands by the pedestal with a sword in his hand that cackles with green lightning.
Black: "You won't be leaving my sanctum this time, Sikarin."
Sikarin Tsooth's hood falls back to reveal red glowing eyes and a sneer. The Staff of the Seven Elders fades away.
Tsooth: "You want to make this a final meeting? We can do that."
Sikarin draws an oversized sword of green crystal. Ghostly faces swirl inside of the sword, pressing against the inside of the blade as if in pain.
Tsooth: "You may recognize many of the souls within my Soul Harvest. You can commune with them when you join them."
Black: "Bastard!"
The blades of Mortamir and Sikarin clash, each pressing against the other with all of their strength.
Tsooth: "You fall too easy when you don't have your friends to help you!"
Mortamir shouts in shock as four serpents pull Mortamir away by his arms and legs with his sword falling away. He screams as his energies are ripped away to be absorbed by Sikarin.
Tsooth: "My children are entering the lower levels of your sanctum as we speak. Not a morsel of flesh will be left on the bones of your followers when they get done. Goodbye, Guardian...Last of the Tentarians."
Sikarin runs Mortamir through the chest with Soul Harvest. Streams of energy flow from Mortamir's body and into the sword, stripping him of color until he turns to ash. Mortamir's face appears on the inside of the sword.
Sikarin laughs, sheathing the sword inside of his robe. He looks to the pedestal.
Tsooth: "Nearly finished. Time for the Coins and the Dagger."
Confrontation
In the security control room, Captain Trevor Maathis stands at a desk. Terel Walker stands with Leryn Franco Walker and Sebastian Basurto in front of them. None of them look very happy.
Terel: "Where is Allen Anderson?"
Maathis: "He isn't here right now. He is going to try to make the show, but there's the chance he may not be here in time. So then, it'd be your first solo show from being back."
Leryn: "Maybe you can answer our questions."
Trevor looks from face to face, seeing their expressions. He sighs, stopping what he's doing on a laptop.
Maathis: "If I have the answers, I will give them to you."
Terel: "Anderson and I went to Desolation for a mission. When I was captured, why wasn't someone sent to get me right away?"
Maathis: "The time had to be properly selected. Just sending a force in directly would have been suicide."
Basurto: "Contacting Jessica Tendonin and her Dragon sisters to have them go would not have been suicide!"
Maathis: "We needed to have stability in Africa until the board meeting. If we could have saved you and not swept Desolation clean of life until the Warhammer Corporation could have moved the production elsewhere. It was strictly business."
Leryn Franco Walker blinks and she moves before Terel or Sebastian can react. She slams both of her hands onto the table.
Leryn: "You based on when my husband could be saved based around business? Are you serious right now?"
Maathai: "Ma'am. If I wasn't serious, I would have been laughing. A serious blow had been struck against those fighting evil with the death of the Cardinal. Millions died with the destruction of Desolation. All this so one person can be free. You tell me, ma'am. Am I serious? You were all kept in the dark and Sebastian's mouth silenced because we knew you would be idiots and we would be sitting here with this mess. Desolation was torn apart with the Cardinal's death. The toxins that were somehow contained within the industrial hell that he created are spreading throughout Africa and endanger many more lives."
Leryn's eyes go wide as she steps back away from the desk.
Leryn: "Millions of lives?"
Trevor slams his fist on the table, making everyone else in the room jump.
Maathai: "Millions dead and millions to come because one man had to be saved. Stand there and tell me it's worth it! Go on! One of you tell me!"
Terel: "You know what? A mistake might have been made in saving me, but you could mind some manners when speaking to my wife. You can be fired, you know."
Trevor just shrugs with a grin.
Maathai: "Go for it. Who you going to have replace me? Hmm? The guy that used to run security for you? Think he could also plan military operations? He wasn't much more than a bouncer. Jason Tendonin? He could design something. Let's just say that mistakes were made on both sides and be done with it. You're here alive and Desolation has been destroyed. Ignado Urizar can deal with the fallout of what's going on in Africa."
There's a long silence before anyone speaks. Terel eventually nods stiffly.
Terel: "That will work. I need an update on everything I've missed so we can decide where to go from here."
Maathai: "I'll have a report for you in about an hour."
Terel: "Good."
The three leave the room so that Captain Maathai is by himself again. He shakes his head, lighting a cigarette.
Maathai: "I don't get paid enough for this."
Opening
As people get settled in for the start of the show, the lights dim and the JumboTron starts to light up to the intro music of the night. You know the kind of music that sets the theme for the night.
So you know, when the JumboTron shuts off and the lights come back on with Never Been begins to play with Terel Walker stepping out onto the entrance stage.
The arena is silent for a moment as everyone stares at the ASA co-owner that had been reported as missing. Then the arena is filled with sounds as everyone begin to cheer at once. Terel Walker waves with smiles, waiting for everyone to quiet down enough for him to speak.
Walker: "For a long time, I was held prisoner in a dread place known as the Tower of Faith! Thanks to one man...Father Nathan O'Connell, I can walk amongst you again and help in the good fight against Carthage! Tonight will be a grand night as we have a new Ascension champion to be crowned with the main event! Have a great night everyone, and stay safe!"
We go down to the commentary table as Terel heads to the back where sit Kenneth Kemp and Selena Sanchez.
Sanchez: "I'm glad that Walker is back with us! I know I was worried. You?"
Kemp: "What? Umm, yeah. Worried and all that."
Sanchez: "Not listening as normal. Let's head to the ring."
Kemp: "I'd like to get into her ring..."
Sanchez: "What?"
Kemp: "Nothing. MaLisha Wilson is waiting!"
Ross vs Houdini
Wilson: "This next match is scheduled for one fall! Featuring first, weighing in at five hundred pounds...'the Fury' Devin Ross!"
"Till I Collapse" by Eminem as Devin Ross makes his way down to the ring. The crowd remain silent as this mammoth of a man steps over the top rope.
Kemp: "My God...he looks like he could eat his opponent in one bite!"
Sanchez: "Well, it's good that this isn't an 'Eat Your Opponent' match?"
Kemp: "We have those? What the *beep*?"
Sanchez: "We're probably not far off from having them..."
Wilson: "And his opponent, weighing in at one hundred and ninety-nine pounds...Harry 'Handcuffs' Houdini!"
"Great Escape" by Audio Empire starts to play as Harry Houdini walks out from the back to the cheering of the fans. He takes a few steps before dropping out of sight. Fans look for the trap door, but can't find any.
Kemp: "There wasn't any distracting smoke! How the heck did he do that?"
Sanchez: "Skill?"
The referee pulls out a folded piece of paper. He unfolds it to about a two foot by two foot picture of a door, setting it down on the mat. He knows on it, and it opens for Harry Houdini to step into the ring. Harry closes the door, folds the paper up, and hands it back to the ref. Harry looks to the crowd with an arrogant grin, bathing in the shock and cheers of the fans.
Kemp: "What the-"
Sanchez: "Can you cool it with the foul mouth before I have to have your mic cut!"
Kemp: "Yeah. Sure, honey."
As the bell rings, Harry walks over to look up (way up) to the face of Devin Ross. He motions that he's going to bodyslam Devin to the mat.
Kemp: "Harry's insane! He's giving up three hundred pounds to this guy!"
Sanchez: "Stranger things have happened. Like stepping out of a door made of paper."
Kemp: "How is he going to bring down Ross at all?"
Harry pulls a small toy plane out of his pocket and begins winding it up.
Kemp: "No..."
Sanchez: "What? He has a toy?"
Devin looks at Harry in confusion, but sends a punch his way. Harry easily dodges, sending the plane into the air. He keeps away from Devin's reach, sending a second plane up into the air. Both planes fly around.
Kemp: "I don't think it's been enough time. Don't do it!"
Sanchez: "Do what?"
Kemp: "Seriously? Call Devin Ross the World Trade Center..."
Sanchez: "I still don't understand?"
One of the planes crashes into the side of Devin's head, exploding as it does so. Devin staggers from the impact.
Kemp: "And you know it now. Say it!"
Sanchez: "OH MY GOD, A PLANE HAS CRASHED INTO THE WORLD TRADE CENTER! Wait..."
Kemp: "Yes?"
Sanchez: "Did a plane crash into the World Trade Center?"
Kenneth stares at Selena, not noticing the second plane crashing into Devin's face, exploding, and bringing the giant down.
Kemp: "How old are you?"
Sanchez: "A second plane has crashed into the World Trade Center! Oh the humanity, he's crashing down!"
Harry covers the downed Devin Ross.
One...Two...Three!
Kemp: "Terrorist attack? September 11, 2001? Not ring a damn bell? Brought the World Trade Center down?"
Sanchez: "Ooohhh yeah. I forgot."
The Sickness vs Hardcore
"Can't Keep Still" by KPM Music starts playing. "Hardcore" Chris Mmachi walks out from the back with a smile and a mic.
Kemp: "Does he not know to wait until he's called?"
Sanchez: "Doesn't seem that way."
Mmachi: "I don't think York is going to make his match. Can I win by default or count out?"
The JumboTron lights up to reveal Will York laying half-way in a dumpster, blood splattered everywhere.
Mmachi: "I can't say that I did this, but I can't deny not doing it either. So what say you?"
The fans cheer on Chris Mmachi and MaLisha Wilson just shrugs in the ring.
Wilson: "Winner of this match via count out...Chris Mmachi!"
Chris Mmachi waves to the cheering fans with a big smile.
Mmachi: "Thanks! Thanks so much!"
Kemp: "I'd say what a loser, but it isn't like York was going to give us a great match anyway."
Sanchez: "True, but boring."
Sleight of Hand
The Fury of Sikarin Tsooth
Inside the Citadel of the Left Hand, Sikarin Tsooth stands inside of his Tower of the Thousand Voices. The murmurings of the sufferings of his captured spellcasters and their mental anguish as their energies are torn from them even as his servants feed them and tend to them as one might a garden.
The pedestal he had taken from the Guardian's sanctum in the Atlantic Ocean rests in the center. Sikarin paces around it with a near light hearted joy.
He starts placing the Coins into position one by one until all six Coins are in place. He then inserts the Golden Dagger into place and twists it. He frowns when nothing happens.
Tsooth: "What is wrong here? Does it need to be done in a different location?"
Sikarin Tsooth places a finger on each Coin and nods as he feels the energies from each flow into him. He stops at the last Coin, feeling nothing. He picks the Coin up, turning it over in his hand.
Tsooth: "What's wrong with this Coin?"
That's when he realizes that it's the Coin of Faith and Willpower.
Tsooth: "O'Connell gave me a fake coin! I was going to kill his little bitch friend and he still has the gall to give me a fake Coin!"
"You thought he would give you the real Coin just like that?"
Sikarin frowns as a ghostly humanoid shape manifests nearby. It's in a robe with it's hands in its sleeves. Nothing of its face can be seen in the darkness of its hood. Its voice comes out as a chorus of thousands of voices.
Xichu Fa. The Gesault Mage.
It can't do anything, but appear and speak. It can really only do this because Sikarin has allowed it. It is a gesault merging of all of the personalities of all of his imprisoned spellcasters.
Tsooth: "It only made sense. His sweet little Mary was going to die. Who knew that he had a fake Coin to give at all?"
"Didn't you give him a fake coin as an example of what to look for?"
Then Sikarin remembers that he had done just that in his disguise when sending the Priest on this mission in the first place.
Tsooth: "Begone!"
The apparition vanishes, leaving Sikarin alone.
Tsooth: "He dares impede my quest when it is so close to completion!"
The Staff of the Seven Elders appears in Sikarin's hand, the Orb glowing a bright blue.
The air nearby cracks with the sound of breaking glass. It shatters, leaving a gaping hole of swirling power in the air. Sikarin points the end of the staff at the hole, sending two streams of blue power through.
Seconds later, two men are pulled through.
Tsooth: "Taag Sha! Tu Sha! I want you to go find Father Nathan O'Connell! Bring him to me alive! He'll be with the ASA company. You won't make their current show, but will make their next. Kill his companions if they put up a fight."
Taag Sha and Tu Sha bow to Sikarin Tsooth and exit back the way that they came in. Sikarin motions with the staff, closing the hole back.
Tsooth: "You'll suffer once you are my guest, Priest. Then you'll beg to give me the final Coin!"
The Children of the Mad Tsar
A city somewhere in Russia, people run in fear. Resistance fighters, Shocktroopers, and American soldiers stand and fight, but they seem to also quickly give ground.
Giant lizard humanoids with thorned vines growing from and through their bodies in constant writhing motion rush at the defenders. They are naked except a loin cloth with a belt of human skulls and they carry giant axes that cleave through anything they contact with frightening ease. Bullets only seem to bounce off of their thick hides and blades are either turned or broken.
They sweep through any human they catch with blades, claws, teeth, thorns, and spiked tails. The dead are enveloped by thorned vines, transforming them into new behemoth reptillian monsters that pick up nearby weapons to join the fighting.
They do not speak except in hisses and roars. Sounds that rip through the very souls of everyone who hears to strike upon primal fears. Only the trained minds of those standing against them do not easily break and run in a panic.
Or in the cases of some civilians, curl up into a fetal position and cry until they are crushed underfoot.
An even larger monstrosity walks amongst the other monsters. He bears a a Crown of Thorns upon his head as surveys the destruction and assimilation of the Russian people.
The look of pure madness is still very much in the eyes of Tsar Ionis Miranov as blood leaks from the thorned vines piercing his flesh, the suffering of the Russian people still harming and empowering him.
He has grown in stature since his transformation, standing nearly sixteen feet tall compared to the eight to twelve feet of his children.
Miranov: "Run! You all spurned my guidance and defied my leadership! Now, you will die and join me!"
"We shall be a free people!"
A Resistance fighter leaps at the Tsar with a spear. The tip shatters against the hide of Ionis and he is grabbed up by the tail of the Tsar before he can run.
He is held upside down in the air in front of the Tsar, who regards him with an arrogant stare.
Miranov: "You think you can kill me with a spear? Mortal weapons can do me no harm! You can perform a service in being my meal!"
Ionis opens his mouth wide, revealing rows of sharp, venom dripping teeth as his jaw unhinges. The man rips open his shirt with a laugh.
"Eat this!"
Someone screams "No!" (Presumably a relative or ally) as explosives are revealed.
The explosion levels the titanic Tsar to the ground, making his children rally around him. It gives the defenders the time needed to help civilians escape the area and follow.
Tsar Ionis Miranov slowly stands up. He bleeds from numerous wounds and burns, but he heals quickly and the thorned vines quickly regrow. He laughs.
Miranov: "I cannot be slain! I am Russia! I am the future!"
Heir to the Cardinal
The Dark Son
In a warehouse in South Africa, Ignado Urizar stands behind a podium. In front of him is the entire gathered host of the Inquisition Honor Guard of Mariano Urizar. He had them all recalled from various fronts to speak to them about the passing of the Cardinal.
Urizar: "It has been a tragic blow that has been dealt to Warhammer Africa with the death of my father and the destruction of Desolation. Though truth be told, he was a jackass for having the soul of the division set to be destroyed in the case of his death. I know that he hated me, but this was a bit extreme."
The crowd of elite Shocktroopers remain silent and unmoving, even as the crack of a gunshot is heard.
The bullet, meant for Ignado's head, explodes just millimeters from the man's eyeball. The shimmer of a force field flows across the upper body of the man and he smiles without effect. Not even a flinch from the flare of the exploding round.
Ignado casually points his finger in the direction where the bullet came from. A lance of energy streams from his fingertip, striking a hidden sniper on the roof of a sub building inside the warehouse.
Urizar: "The rivals of my father think that I am weak. That while I am rallying my assets to fully take control of this division, that they can kill me and seize control. They would be wrong."
Two large sliding warehouse doors open on either side of the gathered troops with more Shocktroopers coming into the large room. To one side are what appear to be giant Shocktroopers in dark brown armor. To the other are Shocktroopers in red armor.
All of them have little parchment scrolls attached to their armor and inscribed sigils and scriptures.
They are not scriptures of God. Horns, spines, and demonic faces decorate the armor.
Urizar: "Meet my Nephilim and Cambion. My new Honor Guard."
An angry murmuring begins throughout the Inquisition Shocktroopers, but Ignado Urizar raises a hand with a smile.
Urizar: "Being a Satanist, you can easily tell why my father hated me. You can also understand why I will now be letting you all go in the manner traditional to the Warhammer Corporation. Goodbye, gentlemen."
The Nephilim and Cambion open fire on the Inquisition Guard, cutting them down in the crossfire. A few manage to get out weapons and return fire to take a few of their enemies down with them, but all of them are slaughtered in seconds. The new Honor Guard walk through the downed Shocktroopers, cutting, shooting, and crushing the wounded underfoot to finish the last of them. A simple clay goblet of blood is passed to Ignado while the others fill their own goblets with the blood of the dead men.
Ignado raises his goblet high with a wide smile. A motion that is mirrored by everyone standing in the room.
Urizar: "To a new age! A reborn Warhammer Africa!"
"To a new age!"
Ignado drinks deep of the goblet, the warm blood dripping around the sides of his mouth. Everyone in the room also drink of their cups before cheering the new Director on.
"To a new age!"
"To a new age!"
Ignado sets his empty goblet down with a laugh before his expression turns serious once again.
Urizar: "Now, my father hated me and he was a fool. Still, only I should have been allowed the honor of murdering him. Avenge his death! We have footage of his killer. Seek him out and kill him! Do it in whatever way makes you the most happy!"
A screen rises behind Ignado Urizar, showing footage of Father Nathan O'Connell throwing Cardinal Mariano Urizar into the hole in the floor to kill him.
Urizar: "Do not let this dishonor stand! Go!"
Clowny vs Clement
Wilson: "This next contest has been scheduled for one fall! Featuring first, hailing from parts unknown...Mr. Clowny!"
The cosmic sounds of "Calamity" swirl as the arena darkens. An ominous purple light shines from the entrance way. As the clown horns go off in the song, Mr. Clowny's ice cream truck drives down the aisle. A hatch opens from the top, and Clowny is propelled by the ejection seat all the way into the ring. With the wave of his hand, he summons a cupcake for a little pre-match sugar rush. As he eats it, his eyes begin to glow in random colors.
Kemp: "Do we really want to know what might be inside of that cupcake?"
Sanchez: "Probably not."
Wilson: "And his opponent, hailing from San Antonio, Texas...Dixie Clement!"
"Tornado" by Little Big Town plays over the PA and Dixie comes out from the backstage area, pausing at the top of the entryway as she takes her hat off and waves to the crowd before making her way down the rampway and sliding into the ring, removing her hat and duster, hanging them on one of the ringposts as she waits the beginning of the fight.
Sanchez: "This is the first time that we've really seen Dixie back since she was injured by Boris Drago awhile ago. She's probably not thrilled by the idea of having to face a clown in the ring for her return bout."
Kemp: "I wouldn't be either. He's insane! Though let's be honest, most of us are insane to be here so close to Russia in the first place."
Sanchez: "Then you won't like where I heard our next show was going to be."
Kemp: "Where?"
Sanchez: "I'll tell you later."
As the bell rings to start the match, Dixie catches Mr. Clowny with several stiff punches< bringing him down to the mat with a European uppercut. She kicks him in the side of the head.
Clement: "Thought you were real cute with that cake, didn't ya?"
Clowny: "I thought it was a sweet come on! Hoo hoo! You interested?"
Dixie's response is to pull Mr. Clowny part way up and kick him in the center of the spine with enough force to send Clowny flat on his face with a loud *honk*
Dixie pulls Mr. Clowny (ok rips him up) up, but catches a finger in the eye before being picked up and dropped with an inverted atomic drop. Clowny picks up the stunned Dixie onto his shoulders and spins her around for an airplane spin before dropping her to the mat.
Clowny: "Smack my Mack, girlie! You coulda just said not interested!"
Clowny runs across the ring as Dixie slowly gets up. He leaps through the air, turning as she gets to her knees, and-
Kemp: "He just knock Dixie down with his ass?"
Sanchez: "It sure looks like it."
Kemp: "He's just going to piss her off. Isn't he?"
Sanchez: "Oh you have no idea."
Clowny rolls Dixie over, going for the cover.
One...Two...Dixie kicks out.
Clowny rises to his knees, looking down at Dixie with a wide (drunken?) grin. He reaches down and-
Kemp: "What the *beep*? Clowny's twisting a nipple?"
Sanchez: "If Clowny doesn't have a shovel, he better get one fast."
Dixie lets out a cry of pain as Clowny painfuly twists both nipples.
Clowny: "Tune in Tokyo! Hoo hoo!"
Dixie reaches up, seizing Clowny by the throat with gritted teeth. He releases her quickly, but she does not. They both rise to their feet with Dixie holding the choke hold. She releases him to grab his head for a Jawbreaker! She waits for him to get back up and-
Sanchez: "Cowgirl Kick! Clowny is laid out on the mat!"
Kemp: "Good time for a cover then."
Dixie does go for the cover...
One...Two...Clowny kicks out.
Dixie rises to her knees, but grabs Clowny by the red nose. *honk* She lifts his head up by a foot, and then slams his head back into the mat. So it sounds a bit like this.
*honk!* *bam!* *honk!* *bam!* *honk!* *bam!* *honk!* *bam!* *honk!* *bam!* *honk!* *bam!* *honk!* *bam!*
Dixie releases the nose, standing up to look down at Clowny. His eyes are rolling around in his head as one might expect a cartoon character from being bashed in the head many times. This makes Dixie shake her head, but she quickly climbs to the top rope.
Sanchez: "Are those stars flying around Clowny's head?"
Kemp: "No, those are strippers with cake frosting outfits..."
Dixie flies off of the top rope, landing a frogsplash on the downed Clowny, but she quickly gets up, and kicks him in the side of the face. A mixture of blood and frosting sprays from Clowny's mouth across the mat.
Clement: "What the Hell is wrong with you?"
Clowny: "Sweet Zombie Jesus on a Stick! Nothing a bit of my kububbling your shermoigan can't solve! Give us a little lick, yeah?"
Dixie was going to start a move, but stops and stares with her mouth open. Clowny uses the opening to pull her down into a small package.
One...Two...Thre-Dixie kicks out!
Kemp: "See? A bit of dirtiness goes a long way!"
Dixie rises up, pulling Clowny with her, and powerslams him into the corner, setting him up in the Tree of Woe. She stands up, stomping down into his face while screaming things that the censor has to work furiously to keep up with. So yes...a long stream of beeps and honks ensues. The ref manages to pull Dixie away and we can see a puddle of blood and bright purple icing on the mat. He helps Clowny down and to his feet.
Clowny: "Thanks, mister! You'll go right on my Christmas Cupcake list!"
Clowny takes two steps towards Dixie...and falls flat on his face. Dixie picks him up, starts hooking him for a suplex and-
Sanchez: "Texas Hurricane! This one is all over folks!"
Dixie quickly goes for the cover. One...Two...Three!
Kemp: "Never piss of a Texan, eh?"
Sanchez: "This isn't Fargo."
Kemp: "What?"
Wilson: "The winner of this match via pinfall...Dixie Clement!"
The Once Mighty Zduhac
In a small near deserted village, the houses and buildings are gutted out. A ramshackle wall is up around the church in the center of town.
Inside of this church, a dozen men and women sort of mill about. Pews have been pressed up against the walls and torn apart to board up windows. It looks as if they have been sleeping on the floor here for at least a week.
A small man is up on the wall of the building near the top of the window where a hole is. Being far from a normal human, he has four additional spidery limbs that help him hold onto the wall. He looks back at the ragged bunch.
"They're at the edge of the village!"
The group of people gather their weapons. Some of them shift into wolfen forms to reveal their Vucari nature, a few grow fang and claws to show that they are Vampr, and a few are even odder still.
They are the once mighty Zduhac. The former supernatural army of the Tsar.
Cast aside and hunted now that the Tsar has transformed and given birth to a new race of monsters that have begun to transform everyone in sight.
Right now, about six of these hulking creatures have come.
A Vampr woman looks across at the others with her in the room. She smiles at them.
"It has been an honor to serve the Tsar with you all. If we must die-"
A Vucari male howls, cutting her off.
"Zduhac do not die, bitch! The Zduhac kill their enemies and be done with it!"
A Zduhac with an enlarged forehead steps between the two as they snarl at each other.
"We have been losing since Baba Yaga and the others were killed. We have been losing to the Russian humans and their allies. Now, we are also being killed by the Tsar's monsters. We might be able to side with our enemies, but right now we have to live through the day. We outnumber these creatures. Let us kill them and escape!"
The spider Zduhac becomes shrill in his yelling before he drops down to join the others, grabbing up six daggers.
"They are here!"
The sounds of the outer wall being torn down resounds through the near empty church. Everyone tenses up as the reptillian growls can be heard through the walls of the church, and their footsteps shake the boards covering the windows loose.
Then there is silence.
The Zduhac look at each other, not daring to hope that the monsters had simply left or had been recalled at the last second.
That hope is forever dashed when the front doors to the church explode inwards along with much of the wall to allow two of the creatures inside.
There is no speaking at this time as the Tsar's monsters rush into the room and attack. The Zduhac do not speak as they enter battle.
It is still a losing battle.
The spider Zduhac is torn apart by a creature's bare hands.
A Vampr attempt to devour the blood of a creature results in the Vampr falling to the ground and beginning to transform into a creature.
Blades are broken against the hides of these creatures. Guns fail as well.
From start to finish, the battle lasts a total of ten minutes. During the course of it, only a couple of the Tsar's monsters are brought down through sacrifice and claws.
Once the battle is done, the bodies begin growing the twisted thorned vines. They burst apart with new growth until new monsters stand with the others to move on and kill others to add them into the growing army.
Candice vs Boris
Wilson: "The match between Candice Kingston and Boris Drago has been canceled. Neither Candice or Boris have checked into the arena tonight."
Kemp: "Wonderful. What could have been a great match tonight has turned into nothing."
Sanchez: "I think Boris Drago is still in Russia with Dasha. The fighting has become increasingly desperate since the Tsar transformed into whatever he is now."
Kemp: "Still sucks. I wonder where Candice is then?"
Sanchez: "Shall we say it? Probably suckling on Jessica Tendonin's teat someplace."
Kemp: "...I'd like to see that actually."
Sanchez: "Pervert."
Kemp: "And proud of it! If you whip them teats out, I'd suckle them right now!"
Sanchez: "Keep dreaming."
Kemp: "Oh, I will..."
Sanchez: "Gross!"
Might of the Right Hand
A mighty warrior strides across a battlefield. A beast of a man that stands nearly twelve feet tall with thick metallic armor the color of tarnished iron with ancient blood stains. His face is hidden within a large horned helmet with vertical slits. His voice booms out like the grinding of stone on stone.
"Go my Chaos Knights! Let these creatures know that the master that they serve is wrong!"
Golbez, the Right Hand of Chaos. He points a massive sword at a battle where humans attempt to hold back nearly forty of the reptillian monsters of the Tsar. Ten warriors sweep past Golbez, each a smaller version of himself with minor variations in armor and weapons. They stand eight to ten feet tall as opposed to Golbez standing nearly twelve.
The humans turn and open fire on Golbez and his Chaos Knights, but the small arms fire bounces off impossibly thick ancient iron armor. A few of the monsters turn to meet the Chaos Knights head on.
Where others have found that their blades have been turned by the thick reptillian hide of the monsters, the blades of the Chaos Knights reap.
The effect is stunning as the first monster is ripped open from throat to crotch by the axe of a Chaos Knight.
The monsters seem to quickly uncertain as their blows are turned by the armor of the Knights and they start losing in numbers.
This revitalizes the morale of the human defenders as they go on the assault. Their strikes become much more accurate as they begin aiming for vulnerable points in the monsters. Eyes, noses, mouths, and even anal cavities.
Yes, at least one massive reptillian monster has been brought down low by an assault rifle being shoved up its ass and the clip emptied inside of it.
A monster manages to knock away the weapon of a Chaos Knight and grabs its arms. Thorned vines grow over the arms of the Chaos Knight as the creature tests its strength against that of the Knight.
Thorns that have ripped into tanks to find the mortals within can find no way into the armor of the Chaos Knight.
The Knight moves, ripping the arms of the monster out of socket before tearing its heart out with its bare hand.
Though the defenders are winning, Golbez enters the combat himself with a grinding laugh that gives even the seemingly unintelligent creatures pause (and making more than a few humans back clear away).
Every motion of the warlord seems to take a life. His massive sword cleaves, his elbows crush, and even his boots turn reptillian monsters into pulp.
Though they lose lives by the second, the Children of the Mad Tsar do not retreat. It is simply as if they do not know how to do so.
More of these monsters join the battle and seem to stream in constantly from the West of the field, but they are harvested clean as soon as they arrive.
Once the battle is finished, hundreds of the creatures lay dead on the ground with their blood transforming into a green mud. One of the human defenders approaches Golbez. He starts to put out his hand, but then thinks better of it when Golbez looks down upon him.
"We would have died without your help. Thank you!"
Golbez nods, a harsh laugh startling the man.
Golbez: "We fight as allies today because of old alliances the Left Hand has made with the men of Warhammer. It will not last forever. So, make peace with your Gods, mortal, and make room in your heart for the return of the one who will rule all of this planet as He once did long ago."
The man nods nervously, which makes Golbez chuckle. The sound still makes the man seem as if he may want to run in fright.
Golbez: "What I mean to say is this. You are welcome. We go where battle is and these creatures that the Tsar has created provide ample sport. We will continue on to find more of these to kill. I did not mean to frighten you. Yet."
The man watches as Golbez and his Chaos Knights leave, waiting until they are out of sight to sigh in relief.
"I hope they never become our enemies..."
Ascension Championship
Wilson: "This next match is scheduled for one fall and is for the ASA Ascension championship! Featuring first the challenger, weighing in at two hundred and twenty-five pounds...Father Nathan O'Connell!"
The lights in the arena dim as ‘God’s Gonna Cut You Down’ by Johnny Cash plays over the PA and Father Nathan makes his way out from the back, carrying his cross. He looks over the crowd and takes in their reaction before nodding and making his way down to the ring, setting up his cross to stand on its own as he climbs into the ring and prepares for the fight.
Kemp: "I heard that Father Nathan is the reason that Terel Walker made it back to run the show tonight."
Sanchez: "You weren't listening at the start of the show where he thanked Father Nathan for the rescue?"
Kemp: "Was I supposed to be listening? I was watching that pretty red head over there and her bouncing aaahh excitment."
Sanchez: "Yes. Father Nathan went down into Africa to a place of myth and legend called Desolation where Cardinal Mariano Urizar of Warhammer Africa ruled his division on high from the Tower of Faith. He saved Terel, killed the Cardinal, and brought down all of Desolation."
Kemp: "So, he killed the Cardinal? I thought he was like Immortal or something. He was just so...evil."
Sanchez: "He did and so we have yet to see the ramifications of this."
Wilson: "And his opponent, weighing in at three hundred pounds...Frietag!"
"Gently" by Slipknot begins playing as Frietag walks out from the back. He looks around at the crowd before walking down to the ring.
Kemp: "You think he would change out his prisoner shirt and get clean boots."
Sanchez: "I think he wants to remember where he came from and how Warhammer treated him afterwards. As much help as this company has done for the world, they have done plenty of harm. Ten dark deeds for every angelic one."
As the bell rings to start the match, Father Nathan staggers Frietag with a couple of forearm clubs to the side of the head and shoulders. He follows this up with a Russian Legsweep to bring the man down, turning to strike him in the center of the chest with an elbow before rising.
Sanchez: "Father Nathan looks to be on his game tonight."
Kemp: "Apparently, fighting your way through Hell can make one hungry for Gold."
Father Nathan brings Frietag up to apply a full nelson. He only holds the move for a few seconds before bringing him down onto his face. He quickly grabs Frietag's legs, applying a Boston Crab.
Kemp: "So have I heard the rules of this title right? It used to be that you had to defend the title five times to get the shot at the World champion, but now you only have to defend it once?"
Sanchez: "That would be correct. Our lighter schedule and what not. It was Anderson's idea."
Kemp: "I should have known. Who thought it was a good idea for him to buy his way in?"
Sanchez: "Walker apparently."
Frietag reaches the ropes to cause the ref to break the hold. Both men stand up quickly with Frietag hitting a punch to the midsection that lifts Father Nathan up into the air. He looks grim as he smashes Father Nathan into the corner with blow after blow.
Sanchez: "Frietag once faced the firing squad for his desertion of Warhammer during the Fourth Punic War, but could he really have been faulted? So many died in Turkey as Carthage steamrolled through the nation. Many Shocktroopers were left behind in the bloody wake, and if they didn't return immediately to the nearest Warhammer facility for reassignment, they were shot for desertion? It's pure ignorance!"
The ref comes in to separate Frietag and Father Nathan to let Father Nathan lean in the corner for support, blood dripping from his nose and mouth. Frietag sneers, shoving the ref aside and punt kicking a low blow. Father Nathan's eyes bulge as he drops to the mat. The ref shoves Frietag back, shouting at him.
Kemp: "Frietag better watch it or else he could wind up being disqualified."
Frietag starts pulling Father Nathan up, but is caught as Father Nathan lunges up. He grabs Frietag as if for a belly to belly suplex, and brings him around, but Frietag lands on his feet. A quick knee to the crotch doubles Frietag over, and Father Nathan power bombs him onto the mat.
Father Nathan steps back into a crouch as Frietag slowly gets to his feet. He luncges in to go for the Heart Punch, but Frietag grabs him by the wrist, and whips him into the sropes. Father Nathan comes back on the rebound, dodging around a clothesline, and grabbing Frietag from behind for the sleeper hold!
Sanchez: "Father Nathan is famous for having perfected this hold! Few people have ever escaped from this once he's applied it!"
Kemp: "Frietag managed to avoid the heart punch, maybe he can get out of this."
Frietag tries to get an elbow in to break Father Nathan away, but can't manage it. He tries staggering to the ropes, but Father Nathan knees him in the back of the leg to bring him down and apply even more pressure. As the seconds go by, the ref comes in to check Frietag's arm as it stops flailing about.
One drop.
Two drops.
Sanchez: "This could be it!"
Three drops!
The ref signals for the bell and Father Nathan drops Frietag to the mat, raising his hands in the air.
Wilson: "The winner via submission and NEW ASA Ascension champion....Father Nathan!"
Sanchez: "He did it! Father Nathan has won the Ascension championship! Now, he only has to defend the title once and he can challenge Dasha for the World title!"
Kemp: "Thanks to Anderson for short cutting things..."
Sanchez: "Well, that's all the time we have for tonight. Stay tuned for the next episode of Legendary as we come to you LIVE FROM MOSCOW, RUSSIA! There's no arena, but there will be a ring someplace and plenty of...plenty of action!"
Kemp: "What? Did you say Moscow?"
Sanchez: "Yep. I hear Walker has something up his sleeve to help defeat the Tsar once and for all."
Kemp: "And we'll have a wrestling show in the middle of all this?"
Sanchez: "Yep."
Kemp: "Fuck."