Post by dylanblack on Aug 8, 2023 23:09:04 GMT -6
The scene fades from black… to blue! We are on the open ocean with King Edmund IV in front of the bow of the ship. He places his hand in front of his face as he stares into the unknown in front of him.
King Edmund IV: -And onwards to victory!
That's when Mutt turns around and shoves the top half of his body overboard as he makes a hurling sound.
King Edmund IV: And to think, I thought it would take longer before the scurvy set in.
Cumhersnatch: That's not scurvy, you idiot. That's sea sickness.
That's when King Edmund IV jerked in all four sides. He tried looking for Jacob Friedman. Alas, he could not find him.
King Edmund IV: Cumhersnatch, show yourself! I know you're there!
Cumhersnatch: You don't know I'm there because I'm not actually here. I never went to the boat on Supremacy because I'm smart enough to know what would happen. I was never on the ship so I wasn't thrown off the ship. I actually tried to warn you, but you didn't listen.
King Edmund IV: WHERE ARE YOU!?
Cumhersnatch: I already told you. I'm not here. You're just imagining me. Most people would think you're insane, but I'm actually proud of you. I think you're developing a consciousness. Does this mean you're going to stop human experimentation in Supremia?
King Edmund IV: WHY DON'T YOU JUST FREE ALL THE HANDMAIDS THEN SO THEY CAN'T REPOPULATE SUPREMIA!?
Cumhersnatch: What are you talking about? We don't have sexual servitude like this in Supremi... Wait... Did you base a system of government based off The Handmaid's Tale!?
King Edmund IV: Wait, how did you hear about The Handmaid's Tale?
Cumhersnatch: THEY'VE WON AND BEEN NOMINATED FOR COUNTLESS EMMY AWARDS!
King Edmund IV: Oh. I didn't know that.
Cumhersnatch: YES YOU DO. I'M JUST A FIGMENT OF YOUR FRAGILE MENTAL STATE!
King Edmund IV: That's a good point. I must be pretty damn smart if I can engage in rational discourse like this. But it shouldn't surprise anyone how capable I am. I know The Anomoly thinks I'm feeble. He thinks I'm weak. I know I'm getting older. I'm not as strong as I once was, but the one thing that The Anomoly has wrong about me is that I'm not a coward. I mean...
King Edmund balls his hands into tightly-gripped fists.
King Edmund IV: HE THINKS I'M A COWARD! ME! KING EDMUND THE FOURTH! What a fool! A peasant! If I caught him speaking such insolence within the hallowed land of Supremia, I would have him stripped of his mask, placed into tattered clothing and forced down Silvercrest with the commoners being armed with stones and sticks! They would be free to throw whatever they would have liked at him in a ritualistic punishment ceremony that I like to call...
The camera zooms into King Edmund's eyes.
King Edmund IV: The walk of shame.
In the background, snickering can be heard. King Edmund turns around and finds Mr. Guzman and Pepe, stifling their laughter.
King Edmund IV: WHAT'S SO FUNNY!?
Pepe: No-Nothing, Mr. Edmund.
King Edmund, like a child, jumps up and down.
King Edmund IV: IT'S KING Edmund! I wasn't chosen by divine intervention to be called a mister, thank you very much! ...Now, where was I?
Cumhersnatch: The Anomoly calling you a coward.
King Edmund IV: Ah, that's right. So yes, I am not a coward and I can prove it. First off, I am not afraid to delegate, which is why I allow Mutt to be in the ring while I wrestle my opponents. Are you... too cowardly to delegate for your own matches?
King Edmund IV: I also lead a country into a GOLDEN AGE of harmony and grandeur! Do you... have the courage to do such a thing?
King Edmund IV: I have the courage to subjectify the fertile women in our country so that they can be forced to provide the children for the country under penalty of being forced to be shoveling the toxic sludge from the countryside. Anomoly, do... you have the courage to do something like this?
King Edmund IV: NO! YOU DON'T! You don't have the courage to do anything other than to try to distract and mislead my sweet, sweet Mutt! Anomoly, all you do is whine, and complain about those who are better than you! But I take a look at you and you just lose! You are no longer the golden egg of the AXW! You're the fecal matter that gets splattered onto the windshield! You're the has-been of yesteryear! Just look at you! You're in the opening match, for pasta sake!
Cumhersnatch: Three... Two... One...
King Edmund IV: SHUT UP! I DIDN'T ASK ANY OF YOU!
This scream, in particular, got everyone to shut up. That's when there was an odd yelp. King Edmund raises an eyebrow.
King Edmund IV: What was that?
King Edmund IV starts to walk toward Mr. Guzman and Pepe. They raise their arms up as best as they can, despite being tied up.
Mr. Guzman: No, Mr. King! There is no noise!
King Edmund IV: As your KING, I command that you move aside NOW!
Pepe: But you're not my ki-
Mr. Guzman: Silencio, Pepe! (Translation: Silence, Pepe!)
Mr. Guzman looks up at King Edmund with tears in his eyes.
Mr. Guzman: Mr. King. I beg of you, please do not go past!
King Edmund IV: Mutt, if they try to stop me, eat them.
King Edmund knocks past the two Spanards and heads into the corridor of the ship, where he notices a hidden overhead compartment. He opens it and it is there where he finds someone on the ship.
King Edmund IV: OH LOOK. WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE!
Kid: Dios mio! (Translation: Oh my God!)
King Edmund grabs the kid by the scruff of the neck and throws him out into the open.
King Edmund IV: This kid thought he could escape his fate... HOW!? I AM THE KING!
King Edmund laughs as the kid begins to cry. Edmund looks through the child's belongings.
King Edmund IV: Awww! And look at this! The child even started to write about his experiences! Hahahahahaha!
Cumhersnatch: Why does this sound historically familiar?
King Edmund IV: Mutt... SEND HER TO THE PRISON CHAMBER THEN SCRUB THE CHILD WITH WATER!
Mutt drags the child in as King Edmund IV diabolically laughs.
King Edmund IV: Anomoly, do you have the courage to participate in social cleansing?
Fade out.
King Edmund IV: -And onwards to victory!
That's when Mutt turns around and shoves the top half of his body overboard as he makes a hurling sound.
King Edmund IV: And to think, I thought it would take longer before the scurvy set in.
Cumhersnatch: That's not scurvy, you idiot. That's sea sickness.
That's when King Edmund IV jerked in all four sides. He tried looking for Jacob Friedman. Alas, he could not find him.
King Edmund IV: Cumhersnatch, show yourself! I know you're there!
Cumhersnatch: You don't know I'm there because I'm not actually here. I never went to the boat on Supremacy because I'm smart enough to know what would happen. I was never on the ship so I wasn't thrown off the ship. I actually tried to warn you, but you didn't listen.
King Edmund IV: WHERE ARE YOU!?
Cumhersnatch: I already told you. I'm not here. You're just imagining me. Most people would think you're insane, but I'm actually proud of you. I think you're developing a consciousness. Does this mean you're going to stop human experimentation in Supremia?
King Edmund IV: WHY DON'T YOU JUST FREE ALL THE HANDMAIDS THEN SO THEY CAN'T REPOPULATE SUPREMIA!?
Cumhersnatch: What are you talking about? We don't have sexual servitude like this in Supremi... Wait... Did you base a system of government based off The Handmaid's Tale!?
King Edmund IV: Wait, how did you hear about The Handmaid's Tale?
Cumhersnatch: THEY'VE WON AND BEEN NOMINATED FOR COUNTLESS EMMY AWARDS!
King Edmund IV: Oh. I didn't know that.
Cumhersnatch: YES YOU DO. I'M JUST A FIGMENT OF YOUR FRAGILE MENTAL STATE!
King Edmund IV: That's a good point. I must be pretty damn smart if I can engage in rational discourse like this. But it shouldn't surprise anyone how capable I am. I know The Anomoly thinks I'm feeble. He thinks I'm weak. I know I'm getting older. I'm not as strong as I once was, but the one thing that The Anomoly has wrong about me is that I'm not a coward. I mean...
King Edmund balls his hands into tightly-gripped fists.
King Edmund IV: HE THINKS I'M A COWARD! ME! KING EDMUND THE FOURTH! What a fool! A peasant! If I caught him speaking such insolence within the hallowed land of Supremia, I would have him stripped of his mask, placed into tattered clothing and forced down Silvercrest with the commoners being armed with stones and sticks! They would be free to throw whatever they would have liked at him in a ritualistic punishment ceremony that I like to call...
The camera zooms into King Edmund's eyes.
King Edmund IV: The walk of shame.
In the background, snickering can be heard. King Edmund turns around and finds Mr. Guzman and Pepe, stifling their laughter.
King Edmund IV: WHAT'S SO FUNNY!?
Pepe: No-Nothing, Mr. Edmund.
King Edmund, like a child, jumps up and down.
King Edmund IV: IT'S KING Edmund! I wasn't chosen by divine intervention to be called a mister, thank you very much! ...Now, where was I?
Cumhersnatch: The Anomoly calling you a coward.
King Edmund IV: Ah, that's right. So yes, I am not a coward and I can prove it. First off, I am not afraid to delegate, which is why I allow Mutt to be in the ring while I wrestle my opponents. Are you... too cowardly to delegate for your own matches?
Boom.
King Edmund IV: I also lead a country into a GOLDEN AGE of harmony and grandeur! Do you... have the courage to do such a thing?
Boom.
King Edmund IV: I have the courage to subjectify the fertile women in our country so that they can be forced to provide the children for the country under penalty of being forced to be shoveling the toxic sludge from the countryside. Anomoly, do... you have the courage to do something like this?
Does he?
King Edmund IV: NO! YOU DON'T! You don't have the courage to do anything other than to try to distract and mislead my sweet, sweet Mutt! Anomoly, all you do is whine, and complain about those who are better than you! But I take a look at you and you just lose! You are no longer the golden egg of the AXW! You're the fecal matter that gets splattered onto the windshield! You're the has-been of yesteryear! Just look at you! You're in the opening match, for pasta sake!
Cumhersnatch: Three... Two... One...
King Edmund IV: SHUT UP! I DIDN'T ASK ANY OF YOU!
This scream, in particular, got everyone to shut up. That's when there was an odd yelp. King Edmund raises an eyebrow.
King Edmund IV: What was that?
King Edmund IV starts to walk toward Mr. Guzman and Pepe. They raise their arms up as best as they can, despite being tied up.
Mr. Guzman: No, Mr. King! There is no noise!
King Edmund IV: As your KING, I command that you move aside NOW!
Pepe: But you're not my ki-
Mr. Guzman: Silencio, Pepe! (Translation: Silence, Pepe!)
Mr. Guzman looks up at King Edmund with tears in his eyes.
Mr. Guzman: Mr. King. I beg of you, please do not go past!
King Edmund IV: Mutt, if they try to stop me, eat them.
King Edmund knocks past the two Spanards and heads into the corridor of the ship, where he notices a hidden overhead compartment. He opens it and it is there where he finds someone on the ship.
King Edmund IV: OH LOOK. WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE!
Kid: Dios mio! (Translation: Oh my God!)
King Edmund grabs the kid by the scruff of the neck and throws him out into the open.
King Edmund IV: This kid thought he could escape his fate... HOW!? I AM THE KING!
King Edmund laughs as the kid begins to cry. Edmund looks through the child's belongings.
King Edmund IV: Awww! And look at this! The child even started to write about his experiences! Hahahahahaha!
Cumhersnatch: Why does this sound historically familiar?
King Edmund IV: Mutt... SEND HER TO THE PRISON CHAMBER THEN SCRUB THE CHILD WITH WATER!
Mutt drags the child in as King Edmund IV diabolically laughs.
King Edmund IV: Anomoly, do you have the courage to participate in social cleansing?
Fade out.