Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Oct 28, 2020 19:46:35 GMT -6
Yah-hee, icky thump
Who'd-a thunk?
Sittin' drunk
On a wagon to Mexico
Her hair, what a chump
And my head
Got a bump
When I hit it on the radio
Red-head señorita
Lookin' dead
Came to said,
"I need a bed" en español
gimme a drink a water
I'm gonna sing around the collar
Well, I don't need a microphone
Icky thump, with a lump
In my throat
Grabbed my coat
And now it's reckon
I was ready to go
Yeah, I swam beside the hair
She had one white eye
One blank stare
Lookin' up, lyin' there
On a stand in her hair
Was a candy cane
Black rum, sugar cane
Dry ice, somethin' strange!
La la, la la la la la la la la la laaa laaa laaa
White Americans, what?
Nothing better to do?
Why don't you kick yourself out?
You're an immigrant too!
Who's usin' who?
What should we do?
Well you can't be a pimp
And a prostitute too
Icky thump, handcuffed to a bunk
Robbed blind
Looked around
And there was nobody else
Left alone
I hit myself with a stone
Went home
And learned how to clean up after myself
JH: “Welcome everyone to Holiday Hangover 2008. We have quite the show for you to bring in the New Year!”
CL: “In fact we do. A battle royal will take place with Dual Crown contendership on the line…..”
The house lights dim and slowly a set of frosted glass doors are lowered over the wrestlers entrance as a tuxedo clad man makes his way onto the concrete stage with microphone in hand. Suddenly bright white lights kick up behind the doors only to reveal the man on the stage further. He pulls the microphone to his lips as Ladies and Gentlemen by Saliva begins to play over the PA system. The man begins to speak over the opening lyrics of the song.
CM: “Speaking of contenders.”
As the crowd fixes their attention on the man a silhouette appears in the light and the man continues to speak over the lyrics of the song.
Man: “For a feast for your eyes to see. An explosion of catastrophe.”
At the base of the stairs leading to the isle to the ring, a massive white explosion bursts out startling the crowd. The man again continues to speak over the song as he moves in putting a hand on the door handle covering the entrance.
JH: “What is he doing out here? This is not scheduled! The timing of the show will be all screwy now.”
Ethan steps slowly out toward the steps and explosions erupt from the ring cascading to the steps. Unlike many other times Ethan is not wearing his robe but only the Grand Prix Tournament belt and just as the final explosion bursts in front of him he rips the belt from around his waist and hoists it high above his head. Ethan then tosses the belt over his shoulder and begins make his decent down the steps and slaps hands as he makes his way to the ring.
CM: “He is the winner of the 2007 Grand Prix Tournament. Why else do you think he’s out here?”
Boom
Do you want it?
Boom
Do you need it?
Boom
Let me hear it
Ladies and gentlemen
As Ethan approaches the ring several flash bulbs light up his muscular body as ringside fans snap photos. He then turns to the edge of the ring and leaps up onto the ring apron catching himself with the top ropes. As he stands upon the apron he calls for the ring mic and the house lights come up. He then catapults himself in the ring ensuring the safety of his Grand Prix Tournament belt that remains slung over his shoulder.
JH: “I have no problem with Ethan being out here. As a matter of fact I think he deserves some microphone time. He should just schedule his time like everyone else.”
CM: “We are talking about Ethan Adams. He probably thought he was entitled to time.”
Once in the ring Ethan pulls the belt back down around his waist and fastens it tightly around his waist once more. He then checks to make sure the microphone is on and then gives it a light tap with an echoing thump sound over the PA system. He then brings the microphone to his lips and prepares himself to speak.
Ethan: ”Every day for the week, people have asked me the same question….”
Ethan points out to the crowd and spots a man about three rows back. He points to the man and mouths something to him. The man does not understand what he says so he brings the microphone back to his mouth and says it for all to hear.
Ethan: ”I said I’m pretty sure even you asked me.”
The guy nods and says something back that is inaudible and it remains that way because those at FIW aren’t keen on giving their fans microphone time. Either that or Ethan was too selfish to share. Either way we can’t hear the fan.
Ethan: ”The question at hand each and every fucking time is the same. It never changes. This is all people care about!”
Ethan rolls his eyes and shrugs his shoulders before continuing on.
Ethan: ”Can you really blame them?”
JH: “Oh please. He’s let this whole thing go to his head.”
CM: “Since when has ETHAN ADAMS not let something go to his head. I think the man is a walking ego.”
CL: “Don’t even start with that again.”
CM: “Start with what?”
CL: “You know what.”
CM: “What I’m just saying his name…ETH….”
CL: “Don’t!”
Ethan: ”When is ETHAN ADAMS going to cash in his Dual Crown championship title shot?”
Ethan poses for the crowd and rubs his forearm over the face plate of the championship belt and smiles cockily for all to see.
Ethan: ”This is the question on each and every one of your minds. Though in response….I have a question for all of you.”
Adams takes a pause and looks out to the crowd from all angles before posing his question.
Ethan: ”Does ETHAN ADAMS really need to cash in his Grand Prix Championship?”
Again Ethan goes about polishing or adjusting his belt as he allows the crowd a moment to ponder the question at hand.
JH: “He is so hungry for a championship he’ll probably waste it right off.”
Ethan: ”The answer to that question is….NO! After tonight ETHAN ADAMS will not have to utilize his Grand Prix Championship.”
The High Spot Sensation steps over to the ropes and leans toward the aisle way in which he entered and continues to speak to the crowd during the opening moments of the show.
Ethan: ”After a my victory in the Hardcore Hangover Battle Royal. I will have secured the title shot I have longed for without having to play the ACE in my pocket.”
Ethan slaps his hand on his belt and smiles while taking a couple steps back from the ropes and allowing his muscles to ripple.
Ethan: ”Though there is only one snag to my contendership victory tonight in the battle royal. That Dual Crown shot will come at management’s discretion. A fact I am not too fond of if I am to be honest.”
Ethan makes a u-turn as talking and heads back toward the middle of the ring so that he no longer has his back to the majority of the crowd.
Ethan: ”So I guess I can sum up the answer to all of your questions like this…..”
Ethan turns in place looking to all the fans on each side of the ring giving a nod and a smile.
Ethan: ”I could use it tonight. I could use it next week. I can make you all wait in anticipation for months before I use it.”
Ethan cranks his neck to one side cracking it and then straightens it back out as he allows his pectorals to jump up and down once more.
Ethan: ”The point is….I will use it when ETHAN ADAMS is damn well ready to be your next DUAL CROWN CHAMPION!!!”
With that Ethan tosses the microphone down into the ring and his music picks back up as he prepares to leave the ring.
CM: “When did he say he was going to use it?”
CL: “He didn’t.”
JH: “Let the games begin. I’m sure Ethan is going to enjoy stringing us all along as he decides when to use that title shot.”
Ethan bounds over the ropes and onto the ring apron. He then jumps down to the arena floor and begins to head back up the aisle toward backstage. He slaps the hands of fans as he reaches the stage where he turns back toward the ring giving the belt one last slap before disappearing backstage yet again.
MA: Ladies and Gentlemen, the first match of the evening is a “Welcome back to FIW” match, scheduled for one fall with a fifteen minute time limit. Introducing first, the man with the worst record in the history of FIW, The one, the only… DRAGOOOOON-AH!
The lights go dim as "Headstrong" by Trapt begins to play throughout the arena, red strobe lights then begin to flash, rotate, and light up the stage and gold pyro begins to shower down to the left and right of The Dragon as he appears on stage. With his head down and standing there for a few second, he then looks up and begins to confidently walk his way down to the ring. As The Dragon makes his way to the ring he pauses infront of the stairs and looks out into the crowd before running up the stairs and into the ring. The Dragon then makes his way to the left turnbuckle, climbs up it, and lifts both arms in the air and flexes his chest and arm muscles as he pauses for a few seconds and then climbs back down in anticipation of the beginning of the match.
CL: Christ, this sucker really can’t take a hint, can he? I mean, when you only get dragged out when there’s some new chump out to prove himself, or when someone like Tier comes back, you’d begin to work it out, wouldn’tcha? Jesus…
CM: Hey, don’t complain Constance. It’s not often we get to see a good ol’ one sided beatdown in the FIW ring, and knowing what Tier’s like, we might just get to see it tonight.
Dragon paces the ring, bizarrely confident for a man who hasn’t won a match in a very, very long time.
MA: And, his opponent, making his return to the FIW ring toni…
The announcement is cut short by a large commotion at the back of one of the crowd areas – people running and moving out of the way, cheering and jeering.
CL: What in the hell’s going on over there? Someone get a camera there, now!
After a second or two of black, a shot suddenly appears of a tall, imposing man, with dreadlocks protruding violently from his the gasmask which covers his face, wrapped in an imposing black trenchcoat.
Tier has arrived.
He is carrying a black steel chair, and is ignoring the crowd’s screams and attempts to touch or high-five him as he paces methodically towards the ring, where Dragon is now looking a tad concerned.
JH: What’s Tier going to do with that chair?
CM: I hope to god he isn’t just gonna sit on it, I can tell you that much!
CL: If I was Dragon, I’d be cursing the day his mother got drunk at that college frat party.
CM: Wow, so you and him could be brothers, then?
As Tier hops over the security railing that separates the crowd from the ringside area, Dragon watches cautiously.
The masked man climbs the ring steps, with chair still in hand, and ducks between the second and third ropes. Referee Richard Kelly tries to take the chair from him, but instead narrowly misses having his head taken clean off his shoulders. As the hapless official slides out of the ring, Dragon seriously begins to realise that today just might not be his lucky day.
KRAKK!!
And as the chair ricochets off his skull and the world gets dimmer, he decides that staying in bed might have been a better option today.
JH: MY GOD! Dragon just crumpled underneath the weight of that shot!
CM: Ouch! That’s gotta be one of the best chair – cranium interfaces I’ve ever seen! It looked like Tier was trying to hammer Dragon into the canvas like a tack!
CL: Yeah, and he never was the sharpest one in the box.
Tier continues to rain blows down on the skull of the barely-conscious Dragon, who can’t even raise his arms in self defence anymore.
JH: That last shot drew blood! Is that a cut or some sort of internal haemorrhaging?
CM: Who cares? There’s not enough blood in this stinkin’ federation!
CL: By the looks of it, there isn’t a whole lot left in Dragon either! Tier’s now stopped the beating, but what’s he doing? He seems to be measuring Dragon up for something.
Tier drops the chair, and quickly drops Dragon into a figure-four leglock
CM: *Yawns* Oh look everyone, it’s The Immortal Eternal Flair.
As Chip finishes saying the above, Tier stretches over to the chair laid next to him, and begins savagely driving the chair into his opponent’s knees.
CM: *Distinctly Flair-like* Woooo! Now that’s the kind of submission I like!
CL: It’s called I CAN’T FEEL MY LEGS!!!, and with damn good reason too.
JH: I can’t believe you two can sit here and watch this.
DING!!
DING!!
DA-DING-DING DING!
CM: Why’s Kelly calling for the bell? The damned match never even started!
JH: Well fingers crossed he can bring some sort of order back to this shambles of an athletic contest!
Kelly steps back into the ring, prising Tier off of the limp, helpless Dragon.
Big mistake.
Big, massive, huge, galaxy-sized mistake.
The official pitches violently sideways as he is hit just above his right ear with a very misshapen steel folding chair, before adopting a very similar posture to Dragon on the crimson flecked canvas.
Tier stands, center ring, holding the chair aloft in celebration.
JH: I don’t understand this man. Not one jot.
CL: Nor me. I’ll admit, putting a referee out may be somewhat excessive, but Tier’s certainly made an impact with his return.
CM: Yeah, all over Dragon’s face! The beating that Tier gave him, he might not even be patched up ready for the next time someone needs an easy win!
After an exciting contest between Tier and... somebody, we cue to the locker room where we find The Man in Black, Jim O'Brien lacing up his boots. But it isn't long before we hear the slamming of a door, cuing Jim to look up only to see Daisuke "The Crow" Tanaka and Mr. Blond. And believe me, they don't look to be in the highest of spirits.
Mr. The Crow: Mr. O'Brien, it appears that we need to talk...
O'Brien: *confused* "We do?"
Unimpressed by the dumb act, Daisuke manages a weak cough before continuing.
Mr. The Crow: Yes, Mr. O'Brien, we do. It appears that with your return, you have brought with you some kind of bright new outlook on life, and have seen fit to prosecute your own personal vendetta against my operation.
O'Brien: "A vendetta? With your clique? That's news to me."
Mr. Blond: Wey-ull, y'all jus' ain't been consid'rin tha con-seh-kwence'sa y'ac-shuns; has ya? Aftah all, Ah heard ya din't have too many polite things ta say ta us a few days ago, no? In fact, i' sorta looked ta me lahka yew were makin' it ya business ta take cert'n people out'a tha Condemned Fetish Match.
Mr. The Crow: And it would be remiss of me to fail to mention the amount of make-up Miss Galanoochie now needs for her eye...
Mr. Blond: Thanks in naw small way t'a certain some'ne who Ah jus' don'...
Having heard enough, Jim rises to his feet, looming over Mr. Blond and cutting him off. His confusion replaced with strictness.
O'Brien: "I think you two are making something out of nothing here. Anything that's happened... They're a matter of circumstance. Coincidences. I have no beef with your gang and you should consider yourselves lucky that I don't, especially after what went down at the Grand Prix last week."
Mr. The Crow: Is that a fact? Well, Mr. O'Brien, I hope you appreciate that it does not look that way to me.
O'Brien: "Really? Well, the next time you or any of your lackeys get in my way, Daisuke, I'll see to it that they do regret it."
The Crow rolls his eyes and straightens up from the door frame as Mr. Blond opens it.
Mr. The Crow: I see. Well, Mr. O'Brien, neither I nor my associates take very kindly to threats...
Mr. Blond: An' ya'd please forgi'us if we mi'jus' take tha' as a threat, ya dig? An' if there's any kinda 'sc-lay-shun'a this, then we's gon' be takin' steps, ya hear?
Safe that the point has been made, Mr. Blond shuts the door; Mr. Tanaka having been quie happy to let him finish the sentence…
MA: It is now time for the HARDCORE BATTLE ROYALE! To be eliminated you must be put over the top rope and both feet must touch the floor. The last competitor remaining will receive a shot at the DUAL CROWN CHAMPIONSHIP!
The camera pans around the ringside area. Several weapons are tied to the rings ropes, others lay about the canvas. Most noticeably in one corner is a stack of trash cans. Outside the ring there are, in several states of being set-up, numerous tables.
The Drake Love entrance video begins to roll on the Global-Tron as AFI's Prelude 12-21 begins to blare over the PA system. Drake steps out onto the entranceway wearing his custom cloak. It is jet black and the tail drapes all the way to the top of his boots. It has a simple hood which is pulled up as Drake steps out onto the entranceway. Drake hangs his head down low and stands still on the stage.
MA: Making his way to the ring, DRAKE LOVE!
Drake shoots out his left arm sending a spray of pyros rippling down his left side. Drake keeps the left arm extended before shooting out his right arm which also ignites a stream of pyros exploding in a line. Drake then raises both arms high into the air and pyros erupt from both sides, this time all at once instead of the streams as before. Drake flips off the hood and proceeds down the ramp. Drake ignores the fans on his way down but instead stays focused on the ring and his task ahead.
The super-funky ZZ Top-covered riff which, in the hands of Jun Kimura still sounds awesome, strikes up heralding the arrival of FIW's very own "Sharp Dressed Man" as the lights dim to allow spotlights to shine on the entrance cage, which as we speak is filling up with dry ice smoke.
'Cause Every Girl's Crazy Bout a Sharp Dressed Man!
The chorus ends, with three blasts of pyro in time with those last three words, clearing the smoke away to reveal a young man wondering what kind of hell the CO [size0]2 has played with his bleached blond hair, and he stops at the top for the ramp to fix his quiff with a comb he already had in his hands. Eventually, he's satisfied with the results and he confidently struts towards the ring.
MA: Coming down the aisle, MR. BLOND!
JH: We’re wasting no time here tonight with the next being announced as soon as the previous wrestler gets halfway down the ramp!
Sexy guitars blast attitudinal rock with bassy power while the entire arena is lit up by a rage of multi-coloured strobe lights. The Great White Hype bursts through the chain-link gate and throws his hands high above his head much to the displeasure of everyone in attendance, minus maybe a few true backyard marks. While still on stage, Adam starts to jam along with his theme music on his air-guitar, complete with pelvic thrusts and a power stance. Adam then stage dives over the steps and lands in the aisle in another power stance. The Hype rocks out mad air-chords, passing the head of his air-guitar over the crowd as though it were the barrel of a machine gun while rapid-fire pyros spark in the background ala Batista.
MA: Now, ADAM ‘THE GREAT WHITE HYPE’ WILSON!
With the smoke settling, The Hype starts to strut down the aisle, blowing off jeering fans left and right. The entrance turns a shade of blue as "Frankenstein" by the Edgar Winter Group begins to sound throughout the arena. Lara Toni bounds out of the gateway onto the stage and raises her arms above her head. Lara skips down the steps.
MA: Making her way to the ring, LARA TONI!
Lara begins slapping the hands of the fans in the front row as she makes her way down the ramp.
Work it, Make It, Do It, Makes Us,
HARDER
BETTER
FASTER
STRONGER!
The arena lights dim. Several different coloured disco/club-style lights project different shapes onto the members of the crowd. They weave their way around the eager wrestling fans, as two of the lights form a white spot at the entrance. From the back, Liam steps out into the spot, head down at his feet but his body facing towards the crowd.
MA: And, LIAM MORTELL!
CM: What a pansy, he’s wearing a freaking t-shirt.
After a few moments Liam looks up and around at the crowd, with a beaming smile before heading down the steps and walking down the aisle towards the ring. As the music starts white flashing lights pan from left to right alternatively to the riff.
“I’m not asking for much” appears on the screen. “I’m not asking for anything” scrolls across the screen the music gets loader and just as the song kicks in Jay Bain walks into sight through the curtains. Hundreds of white lasers spiral down on Jay Bain and then randomly scan across the fans.
MA: At the entranceway, JAY BAIN!
Bain psyched up waves his hands up and down beckoning the crowd to be loud and stand up as in to share this moment, he then paces to the ring with his head down displaying an excited look upon his face and slapping extended hands from the crowd.
A low feedback buzzes through the speakers before 'Up Here' crashes into the system, bringing the crowd to their feet as Kennedy steps through the curtain. She moves to the end of the stage, rebounding slightly and raising both arms into the air, gazing out at the fans in attendance. She makes her way towards the ring, stopping halfway to acknowledge the crowd‘s reaction for her.
MA: Making her way to the ring, KEEEENNNNNEEEDDDYYYY!
It's coming up
It's coming up
It's coming up
It's coming up
It's DARE
It's DARE
This quick introduction can only mean one things as Roxie Galanoochie takes to the stage. Forgoing the pleasantries of a dance, Roxie walks down the stairs and starts off towards the ring. Blue and white strobes enshrine her as she ignores all calls from the fans whether they are the verbal cat call or the extended hand for a hand slap. Such unpleasant actions seems funny to her as she smiles.
MA: Coming down the aisle, ROXIE GALANOOCHIE!
The opening keyboards of "Perfect Strangers" slice through the PA like a knife, immediately grabbing the F.I.W. crowd's attention. And with two chimes of the cymbals, the heavy guitars kick in, goring the fan's eardrums like a rhino. The fans then rise to their feet as Bruce Dickinson's vocals screech over the PA as Jim O'Brien makes his way to the stage from behind the curtain.
MA: The Monster of FIW, JIM O’BRIEN!
O'Brien gives a cold, deathly stare towards his opponents, then begins his descent to the ring. He walks on down the aisle, the fans cheering the multiple time - multiple champion. Jim remains indifferent, cold even.
The house lights dim and slowly a set of frosted glass doors are lowered over the wrestlers entrance as a tuxedo clad man makes his way onto the concrete stage with microphone in hand. Suddenly bright white lights kick up behind the doors only to reveal the man on the stage further. He pulls the microphone to his lips as Ladies and Gentlemen by Saliva begins to play over the PA system. The man begins to speak over the opening lyrics of the song.
Man: Ladies and gentlemen please…Would you bring your attention to me?
As the crowd fixes their attention on the man a silhouette appears in the light and the man continues to speak over the lyrics of the song.
Man: For a feast for your eyes to see. An explosion of catastrophe.
At the base of the stairs leading to the isle to the ring, a massive white explosion bursts out startling the crowd. The man again continues to speak over the song as he moves in putting a hand on the door handle covering the entrance.
Man: Like nothing you’ve ever seen before. Watch closely as I open this door. Your jaws will be on the floor. After this you’ll be begging for more.
The man then pulls both doors open and the lights behind the glass dim down as two large spot lights focus in on the entrance and he quickly exits the stage as Ethan Adams clad in his entrance robe is revealed. The superstar steps out onto the concrete stage holding his arms out to his side as the song kicks in.
MA: At this time, the winner of the Grand Prix, EEEETHAN AAAAAAAADAMS!
Ethan steps slowly out toward the steps and explosions erupt from the ring cascading to the steps as he tears his robe off and throws it into the crowd with a thunderous approval from the crowd. One lucky fan sitting isle side grabs the robe as Ethan makes his decent down the steps and slaps hands as he makes his way to the ring.
The arena plunges into darkness as "O Fortuna" gongs in and rings out all around the arena. All attention, cinemagraphically speaking, is drawn to the ReVoltrons which both present a video that puts Prime in a masterpiece light. In this video package he poses in and out of shadows, flexing in flickers of white light and then the choir culminates into the final chord…
YEAAAA!
Saliva's "I Walk Alone" rocks the PA as the afore mentioned darkness now gives way to a spectacular and celestial light show. Prime walks out onto the stage with his head hung. Standing before the capacity crowd, Prime reels back and pops off a shouting Triple H pose into the Randy Orton “Legend Killer” pose but modified into more of a flex and grin. A machine gun pyro effect fires all around Prime through the chain link fencing as he holds his pose. The pyro smoke intentionally consumes his body and he soon burst through the smoke all pumped up, shouting, and ready to go.
MA: This…is…PRIIIIIIIIIME!
He makes his way confidently to the ring.
The beat starts in and the lights begin to flash on and off in time with it, illuminating a figure moving through thick fog, cloaked heavily in a hooded coat and gas mask. He strolls darkly down the aisle, not looking at the fans or his opponents; only on his destination.
MA: Making his way to the ring, TIIIIIIEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR!
Tier climbs the steps and walks along the apron. He casts a dramatic backward glance at the audience before entering the ring. Tier removes his coat and hands it to the referee, letting his scarred body glitter in the flashing light as Angelspit's remix of KMFDM's Tohuvabohu dies down. The whole arena stands in anticipation. The wrestlers are looking round at each other, waiting for the bell to ring. But it doesn’t.
CL: What the hell are we waiting for?! I want hardcore damn it. I want to see Tier fuck every single person in that ring up.
JH: I believe we’re still waiting for T-Bird, that is if she is even still a part of this company…
"Bleed it out" by Linkin Park hits the PA system. The camera focuses on the Tron viewing the bright golden lights that soon flash to a black griffin. Pulling out as the lyrics start out the Winged Feline comes from the back bouncing the music. Suddenly she sprints towards the ring, sliding in as quick as a flash.
DING! DING! DING!
She continues running, right at Jay Bain who, thinking fast grabs her and Belly-to-belly suplexes her right over the ropes, out of ring, through a table, and out of the match.
MA: T-BIRD has been ELIMINATED!
For a moment everyone looks on incredulously, and then all hell breaks loose. Liam goes straight after Ethan, Drake after Wilson, Blond and Jay pair off, leaving Jim facing the man-mountain Prime and the three ladies to fight amongst themselves. It is chaos in the ring, with every man (or woman) fending for themselves. Not much wrestling is going on, only brawling; everyone trading punch for punch and elbow for elbow. The only competitor not involved is Tier, who is watching everything going on.
CM: Not doing much fucking-up, is he? Hmm? Why is your precious Tier waiting?
Tier turns towards the ropes, were a chair is tied with a piece of (normal) rope. He inspects it briefly then tears it loose. Wielding it, he advances on Mr. Blond and Jay who are swiftly dealt with crushing blows. Liam turns from his momentary advantage over Ethan to receive a brutal shot to the face. Prime, too, receives a hard shot to the back, furthering Jim’s chances. Tier quickly approaches the women, and swings the weapon back to attack the nearest one, when he is BLASTED in the back of the head by a GP-title-holding Ethan Adams. Tier has no time to recover, and is quickly bundled over the top rope, his last minute attempt to grab the ropes is fruitless as his feet have both hit the floor.
CL: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…
MA: TIER has been ELIMINATED!
CL: …OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOU BASTARD, ETHAN ADAMS! YOU BASTARD!
Meanwhile, Kennedy is taking full control of both women. Teaching them how a true female wrestler handles herself in the ring. Lara gets taken down by a short-range spear and Roxie falls victim to a stiff powerbomb. The Japanese crowd applaud the strength, and applaud her again when she whips a celebrating Ethan Adams down to the canvas.
JH: HurraKennedy!
CM: I bet Ethan loved her crotch being in his face, even if he did get ‘HurraKennedy’d’. I know I would! Hur-hur.
JH: Chip! Please!
In the centre of the ring Jim is battling it out with Prime. The two are trading blow for blow, barely managing to even rock each other slightly. Prime swings back for a larger blow, but Jim ducks it and locks in a Katahajime then suplexes Prime down to the canvas with a very large bang.
CM: FUCK ME!
JH: Hellsplex on Prime! And now he’s got the Hell’s Bells locked in tight. This is really going to wear Prime down.
CL: This hardcore battle royale is seriously lacking in hardcore.
JH: I don’t see any problem with that, if these wrestlers want to do it the traditional way that is fine by me.
In another corner of the ring, Mr. Blond, Drake Love & Adam Wilson are desperately trying to eliminate Jay Bain but are struggling as he has managed to tangle himself in the ropes to avoid being thrown out. Help is not too far away though as Liam breaks it up, clubbing and kicking to get them off Jay. He whips Adam Wilson into the ropes and on the rebound catches him with a massive...
CL: SPINEBUUUUUUSSSSSSTTTTAAAAAAH!
Drake Love, clearly annoyed that his chances at scoring an elimination were ruined by Liam smashes down on him like a tonne of bricks. He hammers away with hard rights and lefts then pulls Liam up to his feet and nails a Dragon DDT. Leaping to his feet Drake roars, which the crowd do not seem to appreciate, but nevertheless Drake searches for a weapon. He grabs a sledge hammer but upon realising that is it chained to the ring ropes, decides to find a more suitable weapon from under the ring.
Elsewhere, Jim still has the Hell’s Bells locked in on Prime – who is still struggling to escape, and Ethan Adams in taking on Lara Toni. Roxie meanwhile has managed to get the upper-hand on Kennedy. She whips her down to the canvas by her hair and locks in a Dragon sleeper. Kennedy begins to fight out of it as Drake slides back into the ring with a Kendo stick in hand. He brings it crashing down on the back of Jim’s head, breaking the hold, then continually beats the monster with it. After a few more hits, Jim stops moving and Drake decides to stop beating him.
CM: Oh yes! What shots to the back of Jim O’Brien’s head. What a welcome back courtesy of that man there, Drake Love.
Kennedy manages to overcome Roxie, dropping her down with a stiff dropkick, but once on her feet again she gets BLASTED in the face with a chair by Ethan Adams. He smirks and surveys the damage around the ring. He shouts to everyone that is standing, that is everyone except for Kennedy and Jim O’Brien and points down at Prime, muttering inaudibly.
JH: What is Ethan up to?
Everybody nods in agreement and advances on Prime. Mr. Blond, Roxie and Lara go to the tope rope and pull it down. Liam and Ethan grabs Prime by the arms, Jay and Adam take the torso and Drake the legs. They all pull him up and towards the ropes, beginning to tip him over. But there is life in the bodybuilder yet and he begins fighting back. The group struggle to get him out, until Drake nails a rather vicious shot to the groin which subdues the big man enough for him to be thrown over the top rope.
CM: Yeah, that freak is outta here all thanks to Drake Love.
JH: I think the others might have had something to…
CM: All thanks to Drake Love.
MA: PRIME has been ELIMINATED!
The teamwork doesn’t last long though. Drake quickly takes down Adam and Jay with swift punches. Ethan and Liam being brawling again, as do Roxie and Lara and Mr. Blond decides to take advantage of a downed O’Brien. Rolling out of the ring (again) Drake grabs a table and slides it back in, but is met with a stomp to the back courtesy of Adam Wilson. Wilson continues to control Drake on the canvas, but brings him up into the corner, lifting his legs over each of the middle ropes. Drake looks on; a little unaware of what is happening as Adam backs up. He charges in and hits a precision Front Dropkick straight to the groin of Drake.
CL: NUTCRACKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Sorry. Couldn’t resist.
The crowd chuckle with laughter as Drake falls down to the canvas, eyes wide in a silent scream. Kennedy is recuperating in another corner, watching Mr. Blond fire shots at Jim O’Brien. Deciding that mere fists will not be enough to quell the big man, Blond rolls out of the ring to search for some weapons, pulling them out from under the ring and chucking them into the ring. Amongst the menagerie are a baseball bat, a stop sign (which is quickly used by Roxie to knock Lara down), a barbwire plunger, and a couple of 2x4s. Rolling back into the ring, the Blond one grabs a 2x4 and begins to choke Jim with it. But O’Brien doesn’t take this lying down and begins to fight back. Blond attempts to subdue the monster by scratching and pulling at his face, but it is no use as Jim manages to fight himself back to his feet, grabbing one of the other 2x4s and smacking it right into the quiff.
CM: Not the quiff! Anything but the quiff.
In other areas of the ring, Kennedy has come back into the action. Running at Adam Wilson she hits a picture perfect swinging neckbreaker, and once back to a full upright position runs at Drake and takes him back down with a headscissors. The crowd show their appreciation for Kennedy, but in the meantime Ethan Adams is taking control of Liam. He floors him with a quick powerbomb then grabs the stop sign. He raises his foot in the air, holding the stop sign just slightly below it and then stomps it down directly on the face of Liam Mortell.
CL: Fully fucking sick move by that fucking son of a cunt Ethan Adams.
CM: Are you still fucking pissed cause he eliminated your back-door-buddy?
JH: Liam could have a broken nose now, either way that had to hurt a lot.
The crowd seem shocked as Liam clutches his face in pain. Jay Bain, who has not being doing much since helping eliminate Prime, is now watching Lara and Roxie with a little smile. Lara has Roxie locked in a single leg crab, and she is screaming in pain. Suddenly, Jim O’Brien heads towards Jay, reeling from a baseball bat to the back. Jay quickly moves out of the way, as Jim grabs the sledge hammer and drives it towards the stomach of Mr. Blond. But the chain is too short and it stops an inch or two short of the quiffed-one. Blond drops the bat and goes to spray the Blond mist, but Jim quickly ducks out of the way and grabs the barbwire plunger. Blond turns around straight into a shot straight into the chest. He clutches it with pain as he staggers backwards towards the ropes. Jim takes a run up and hits a Cactus clothesline. Both men tumble over the ropes but whilst Blond hits the floor, Jim manages to just hold on and roll himself back into the ring.
MA: MR. BLOND has been ELIMINATED
Back in the ring, Drake Love has managed to get the Great White Hype under control. He whips him into the ropes and SMACKS him in the face with a chair. Adam stumbles around on all fours, dazed by the shot. Drake begins to play with him. Pushing him around with his foot and slapping him around the face.
JH: This Japanese audience are not appreciating the way that Drake Love is disrespecting his opponent.
CM: Bitchen, will you please shut your cock-hole? Drake Love is just showing who the Alpha Male is.
Drake pulls Wilson up into a standing headscissors and shouts out to the crowd. He pulls Adam up for a powerbomb but is hit with a Singapore cane!
JH: See? It bit him in the ass. He waited too long to hit the powerbomb and he allowed the Hype to pick up that Singapore cane.
Adam drops back down to the canvas and blasts Love in the head with the Singapore cane again. He quickly forces Drake back against the ropes and begins to leaver him over the top, but Drake holds on tight. Adam keeps on pushing and eventually dumps Drake down to the mats below.
MA: DRAKE LOVE has been ELIMINATED!
JH: The pace of the eliminations is increasing, we could see who will get the title shot very soon.
CL: It still isn’t hardcore enough though, when am I going to get to see some blood?
CM: Haven’t you seen Liam’s face?
Indeed, Liam is bleeding rather heavily from the nose where Ethan stomped the stop sign earlier and is having difficulty standing up. He crawls towards a corner to recover. Whilst this is going on Lara is still having difficulty trying to get Roxie over the ropes, and Adam Wilson has started to brawl with Jay Bain. Ethan Adams has momentarily called a truce with Kennedy and the two are stomping away at Jim O’Brien, who is still managing to do a fairly good job at fending the two off. Lara sets Roxie up in the corner and begins to chop away, when Adam Wilson shoves Jay Bain into her, not very hard, but just enough to squash her slightly. Lara turns around and gives the ‘evils’ to Jay. He tries to apologise but she is having none of it.
CL: If I were Jay Bain I’d get the hell out of her way. Once a woman has it into her head that you’re to blame for something it’s hard to convince her otherwise…and I should know.
Lara shoves Jay, then slaps him round the face. Lara kicks him in the gut and begins to club him across the back. She grabs a trash can and jabs it into the midsection of Jay. He tries to protect himself but falls victim to a shot to the head and then gets stuffed inside the can. He wanders the ring like a headless chicken, unable to get the slightly dented trash can off his upper-body. Lara realises her opportunity when Jay nears the ropes and sweeps out his legs. Unable to grab hold of the ropes, due to his arms also being stuck inside the can he tumbles to the outside with ease.
MA: JAY BAIN has been ELIMINATED!
Adam Wilson stalks from behind with a Singapore cane, smiling with a little evil glint in his eye. He swings back but the cane is ripped from his hands. He turns round to see Liam Mortell who quickly kicks a trash can lid up into the air, grabs it with his hand and smacks it into the face of Adam Wilson. Liam launches forward, hammering lefts and rights into the torso of the great white hype. He swings back for a forearm, but it is ducked. Adam pushes Liam against the ropes but, thinking fast, Liam grabs Adam’s arm and throws him over the tope rope with a modified Ippon Seoinage.
MA: ADAM WILSON has been ELIMINATED!
JH: Two eliminations in quick succession we could be very near the end of the match.
CM: This match is getting more boring by the minute, we’ve lost Drake, Mr. Blond and now we’ve lost Adam Wilson.
Lara looks at Adam for a moment, then at Liam and gives him a little ‘thank you’ nod. He returns with a ‘you’re welcome’ nod and the two continue on their way. The communication between Kennedy and Ethan has obviously broken down as the two are now going at it again, trading blow for blow. Roxie tackles Lara from behind, bringing her down to the canvas. She begins to drag her around the ring by her hair. Lara screams in pain and struggles to break the grip, but eventually Roxie breaks it herself, but Lara doesn’t get much of a break as Roxie begins to choke her with a foot…and then stomps on her face. Roxie keeps on the attack, picking up her opponent before dropping her again with a vicious DDT. Liam finally breaks this up with a few forearms, backing Roxie into a corner.
Meanwhile, Jim is back to his feet, grabbing a 2x4 he swings it wildly and takes down Kennedy. He swings it again and this time Ethan Adams feels the blow. Dropping the 2x4, he picks Ethan up, ready for a suplex. He lifts him into the air, suspending him there for a few moments before slamming him down to the canvas. Getting back up to a knee he throws a finger up in the air and shouts “ONE!” Pulling Ethan back to his feet he hits another suplex, this time of the gut-wrench variety. Upon getting back to his knees again he shouts “TWO!”. Jim hits a Double Arm suplex, “THREE!”
JH: How many times is Jim going to suplex Ethan?!
CL: A couple more hundred times should just about do it.
And a German suplex, “FOUR!” He then stops. He walks over to the chair that has been used throughout the match and attempt to open it out, but the damage means it is completely unusable. He disposes of it and exits the ring, once he has found another chair he slides it into the ring. Once inside himself, he opens it out and pulls Ethan up into a half Nelson. However, at the apex of the suplex Ethan reverses it and drives Jim head first into the open chair. The crowd applaud the innovativeness, as Ethan lies on the canvas, exhausted. Roxie fires shots at the gut of Liam to stop a suplex attempt near one of the turnbuckles, but doesn’t break the grips and tries to suplex Liam out of the ring. He wiggles a little in the air and is able to land on the apron. Keeping hold of the suplex grip he lifts her up and drops her on the ropes, so she is lying with her front on one set of ropes and her legs on the other. Ascending the turnbuckle Liam position himself carefully; then flips forward off the turnbuckle, powerbombing Roxie down to the canvas.
JH: Perfectly executed Oklahoma Powerbomb by Liam Mortell.
Kennedy, by this time, has made her way over to Lara and it attempting to lever her over the top rope, but Lara manages to escape following an elbow to the head. The two quickly grab the nearest weapon to each of them. This just so happens to be a trash can for each of them. They swing at each other, and the cans collide with a bang. They swing again and the same happens. The two appear to be having a trash can duel. Metal crashes against metal as Liam pulls a semi-conscious Jim to the ropes. Placing his upper body on the ropes, they begin to sag with the weight as Liam struggles to lift the big man over. Lara and Kennedy continue to duel until Kennedy out-smarts Lara and smashes the trash can out of her hands. Lara slowly backs away towards Jim and Liam, looking in fear at the trash can. She can’t run quick enough however as Kennedy J.F.K’s her trash can right into Lara’s face. Lara reels backwards into and over the sagging ropes.
MA: LARA TONI has been ELIMINATED!
CM: What a fluky elimination!
JH: Kennedy is always aware of her surroundings, I don’t think that was just plain fluke.
Kennedy has no time to relax, however, as Roxie launches herself forwards. Kennedy quickly dodges out of the way and Roxie flies over the ropes, but clings on for dear life! She steadies herself on the apron, but not for long as Kennedy steps up on the second rope and hits a modified Shining Wizard to the head of Roxie. Roxie slumps backwards to the mats below.
JH: The Shot Heard Around the World!
MA: ROXIE GALANOOCHIE has been ELIMINATED!
Kennedy catches her breath for a moment, but it turns out to be a big mistake as she becomes the second recipient of a GP title to the back of the head. Ethan grabs her by the hair and looks down at her. The crowd mumble with possible disappointment, wondering what he is about to do, but he doesn’t perform any feigned sexual acts, only locks her in a dragon sleeper and pulls her so his back is against the turnbuckle. He then dragon sleeper suplexes her onto the top rope and then walks away. Turning back he gets a little run up, jumps into the air and nails a roundhouse kick right to the temple. Kennedy crashes down to the mats, just like the two women she just eliminated.
MA: KENNEDY has been ELIMINATED!
CM: Did you see that, Bitchen? Kennedy just got eliminated with her own move, the J.F.K!
CL: Fucking Ethan Adams.
CM: Oh will you please SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Liam is still trying to eliminate Jim with little success. Ethan, perhaps realising that it might be easier for the two of them to eliminate the big man rather than him trying by himself decides to team up with Liam…at least temporarily. However, as soon as Ethan touches Jim, he starts to come back around, he forces both Liam and Ethan away and when they run back at him he takes them both down with a clothesline each. Ethan rolls out of the ring and onto the apron. He waits until Jim turns around, springboards forward for a crossbody…but is caught. However, Liam dives from behind and takes out Jim’s left leg with a chop block. O’Brien doesn’t simply stay down. He fights Liam and Ethan off again, pushing Ethan into a corner and pressing Liam high above his head. He begins to head for the ropes but Ethan SMASHES him in the back of the left knee with the Singapore cane. The monster crashes down to the canvas, clutching his leg.
JH: Ethan and Liam are working away at the trunks of the tree.
CL: Nice metaphor.
JH: I thought it was. Anyway, it seems Ethan and Liam are now bringing some more weapons into the ring. I see a table, some chairs, but no ladders though! Ha ha!
Ethan sets up a table and instructs Liam to help put Jim onto the table. They rest him on it but one of the legs buckles and Jim slides off the table. Liam, thinking quickly folds the legs down and opens two chairs and rests the table on the chairs. He quickly tells Ethan his idea, who nods and heads out to the apron. Liam holds Jim up around the waist as Ethan springboards for the Ratings Spike. But Jim counters at the last second into a bearhug. He charges Ethan into a turnbuckle and breaks the hold. He allows Ethan to stagger forward before grabbing him by the head and chucking him over the ropes.
CL: YES! He’s gone.
But unfortunately for Jim, and Conse, Ethan hangs on. Jim hasn’t noticed through and has focused his attentions on Liam. Ethan ‘skins the cat’ back into the ring and quickly hops up onto the top rope. Jim tells Liam to “bring it”, but Liam tells Jim to turn around. He does so and is met with a huge missile dropkick to the chest. Ethan helps position Jim and tells Liam to go up to the top rope. Liam slowly ascends the ropes and waits on the top rope. Unexpectedly Ethan runs up the ropes himself and nails Liam in the shoulder with a stiff right hand. Liam immediately crumbles down into himself, but remains on the top rope, and screams in pain.
JH: What the hell? A punch shouldn’t hurt that much. Something’s up.
Ethan nails Liam in the shoulder again with his brass knuckle-covered fist then chucks them away. He yells into the crowd, signalling for some kind of move but before he can do anything Jim O’Brien gets to his feet and grabs Ethan from behind. Ethan fires shots at the head of Jim as he staggers backwards to the centre of the ring but Jim simply charges towards the ropes and dumps Ethan over the ropes, crashing into the apron, and down to the mats below.
CL: YES!
MA: ETHAN ADAMS has been ELIMINATED!
Jim watches as Liam crawls across the canvas, clutching his shoulder. He slowly advances on his injured opponent. Perhaps expecting Liam to be easily defeated, Jim is shocked when he receives a flurry of lefts (he right being unusable thanks to Ethan). Jim quickly takes control again with a stiff knee to the torso, and drags Liam towards the make shift table. Unexpectedly, Liam gets a burst of energy and manages to drives forward and sweep out the legs of Jim, smashing through the table with a modified spear/spinebuster.
CM: How the FUCK did he manage that?
JH: That was messy, but if it gets the job done…
Jim lies, half shocked and half hurt in the remains of the table. He begins to slowly pick himself up out of the wreckage but Liam is still face down on the canvas, screaming in pain. Liam slowly makes his way back to his feet. Jim waits until he is fully upright before knocking him right back down with a big boot. Jim smiles with the realisation that he is, perhaps, just moments from winning the match and a shot at the Dual Crown championship. Picking Liam up he locks in a standing Hell’s Bells. Liam struggles to escape, knowing that if he stays in the hold for very long his shoulder could be in serious danger. He swings back with his leg, kicking Jim in the left leg. He swings back again, and again, and again until Jim finally breaks the hold. Jim drops down to a knee and clutches his leg as Liam runs the ropes and nails a shining enzuigiri, shining off the bad leg of Jim.
JH: This is smart by Liam, working on the leg of Jim. If he keeps on the attack he might not be at such a disadvantage.
CM: Bullshit! The dude is a cripple, just look at him clutching his shoulder.
Jim makes his way back to a standing base as Liam once again runs the ropes, but this time Jim counters him and attempts a sidewalk slam…but Liam spins all the way around and drags Jim down to the canvas in the perfect position for…
CL: ATC! The move that has finished some of the best.
But as Liam wrenches the hold, his shoulder gives and he has to let go. Jim rolls over on the canvas and smashes Liam in the shoulder with a big right fist, allowing himself some time to get back to his feet. He pulls Liam into a standing headscissors, and then up onto his shoulder. Jim charges forwards to the ropes but before Liam can fly out of the ring he pulls down the top rope and Jim falls over as well. Liam desperately clings to the top rope with both arms. Jim has one leg on the apron, another dangling close to the floor and his arms gripped tightly to Liam. Liam is screaming in pain but is desperate not to let go. Jim is scrabbling to get a better grip on Liam. Liam’s grip abruptly breaks and the two crumple to the mats simultaneously.
DING! DING! DING!
JH: Who won?
CM: Who cares?
The referees quickly gather, but none of them seem sure who hit the floor first. They talk with Michael and Timmy too, but everyone seems to be arguing about who won. Finally Logan Black takes control of the situation. He shuts the other referees up and then directs some words at Michael.
MA: Ladies and Gentlemen…
He pauses, the crowd listens intently.
MA: Your winners, LIAM MORTEEEELL and JIM O’BRIEEEEN!
The crowd cheer and applaud the decision and then quickly begin to murmur about what this means.
JH: What does this mean for the Dual Crown title shot? Will it be a triple threat? Two matches?
CL: I think there is only one person that can answer that question Hitchen.
JH: Indeed. Keep tuned in folks for more developments are they occur.
JH: We’ve already seen a chaotic scene in our first two matches!
CL: That referee screwed Tier.
CM: What about those two old men?! They won the match!
JH: And, next up we have the first of a three match series of tag team action tonight!
CL: With the tag belts up for grabs too.
CM: Please let the Zaibatsu win, please, please, please!
MA: Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is the third scheduled contest for this edition of Friday Night ReVolt! It will be the first match of the FIW Tag Team Round Robin Challenge and has been granted a thirty minute time limit with one fall to a finish! Your referee for this bout is Fuzz…and it is for the Full Intensity Wrestling Tag Team Championships of the World!
The super-funky ZZ Top-covered riff which, in the hands of Jun Kimura still sounds awesome, strikes up heralding the arrival of FIW's very own "Sharp Dressed Man" as the lights dim to allow spotlights to shine on the entrance cage, which as we speak is filling up with dry ice smoke.
Clean shirt, New shoes,
And I don't know where I am going to.
Silk suit, Black tie,
I don't need a reason why-y-y-y!
They come runnin' just as fast as they can...
'Cause Every Girl's Crazy Bout a Sharp Dressed Man!
The chorus ends, with three blasts of pyro in time with those last three words, clearing the smoke away to reveal a young man wondering what kind of hell the CO [size0]2 has played with his bleached blond hair, and he stops at the top for the ramp to fix his quiff with a comb he already had in his hands. Eventually, he's satisfied with the results and he confidently struts towards the ring, flicking the [autographed, obviously,] comb into the front row but before he can scale the ring steps, he orders one of the ring attendants to go up first to hold the ropes open for him. A small argument ensues, but eventually the ring attendant relents and lets him through. Once in the ring, Blondie stretches in his corner as he waits for the bell.
CL: That man has one mighty head of hair.
CM: You’re just admiring it because you’re balding.
JH: I wouldn’t be talking, Chip…
La........La........La....La Wait Till I Get My Money Right!
La........La........La....La Then You Can't Tell Me Nothing Right!
The lights dim throughout the arena as Kanye repeats the lines accapella. He receives a mixed reaction throughout the arena as Shaun's music blasts. Shaun slowly steps out the curtains and stops right above the stairs.
I Had A Dream I Can Buy My Way To Heaven, When I Woke I Spent That On A Necklace.
I Told God I'll Be Back In A Second, Man It's So Hard Not To Act Reckless!
Shaun stares cockily at the crowd into the arena. He crosses both of his arms as white pyro rains down from the Revoltrons behind him. Once the pyro stops raining Shaun slowly takes off his hood and smirks as he jogs down the stairs. He nods his head to the song as he walks slowly down the aisleway. Clips of Shaun in action plays on the ReVoltrons.
I Feel The Pressure, Under More Scrutiny
And What I Do? Act More Stupidly!
Shaun nears the ring and takes off his hoodie and slings it into the nearby audience. Shaun continues to lip synch the words as he takes a couple of steps and hops up on the ring apron. Shaun turns and raises both arms in the air leaning on the top ropes. After taunting the crowd more he walks over to the turnbuckle and climbs it.
So If The Devil Wear Prada, Adam & Eve Wears Nada
I'm In Between, But Way More Fresher.
With Way Less Effort, Cuz When You Try Hard.......That's When You Die Hard!
Your Homies Looking Like Why God, When They Reminisce Over You My God!
The beat breaks down as the woman continues her chant as Shaun is perched above the top rope. He taps his chest and raises his arms still talking trash to him. Shaun finally climbs down and adjusts his wrestling gear.
Excuse Iz You Saying Something?
Un Uh You Can't Tell Me Nothing!
(Ha Ha) You Can't Tell Me Nothing!
La........La........La....La Wait Till I Get My Money Right!
La........La........La....La Then You Can't Tell Me Nothing Right!
Shaun bounces around the ring and gets ready for his opponents.
CM: My dog! My homie! My …uh…amigo! Vato! Vato! Vato! Represent!
JH: Oi veh…
CL: See why I said having a shotgun in the booth was a good idea?
At first the arena is filled with the faint sound of chugging guitars. The music grows louder, building up into a faster more powerful rhythm. Lights begin to flash white and red as all attention turns to the entryway.
Just let me ask you,
"Hey, have you heard of my religion?"
It's called the church of hot addiction,
and we believe that God is lust for everything.
The two members of HARDCORE SEX appear at the entryway with Onikage, posing for the fans. Steve is his usual sullen, silent self, staring intently at the ring, preparing himself mentally for the upcoming match, fists clenched, jaw tight. Felix, on the other hand, totally hams it up, blowing kisses to the crowd, pumping his arms and flexing his muscles. FIW's Morning Star is smiling and waving to the fans along with Felix as a hand rests on Steve's shoulder to comfort his tortured soul.
Because now...
the time has come for your devotion,
and you already got the motion.
What I need to give it, just give it, give it to me
I'm waiting, I'm waiting... Turn out the lights…
As the duo make their way to the ring with their advisor, Steve walks forward with a determined pace, his breathing steadily increasing. Felix bounces like a kid with two much sugar, strutting to the music, pursing his lips and rubbing his nipples.
As they arrive at the ring, Felix hops on to the apron and raises the ropes for Steve like a wrestler would do for his valet. Steve ignores this and slides into the ring under the bottom rope. The leader of the Rejects staying at the ringside area and pacing around it, his eyes and smile focusing on his charges inside the ring.
Tonight
I am the drug you can't deny!
Tonight
G.A.B.E. gonnna get you high!
My light is electric!
Both men wait in the ring as their poppy rock theme fades out, Steve folding his arms and cracking his neck as Felix continues to work the crowd, shaking the ropes and dancing back and forth.
Hey, hey, hey!
My light is electric, yeah!
Hey, hey, hey!
My light is electric!
Hey, hey, hey!
My light is electric, yeah!
Hey, hey, hey!
My light is electric, yeah…
JH: Here they are…the champs…sigh
CL: Who may have the advantage as much as I’d hate to admit it with Onikage in their corner.
CM: But, look! Blond and Shaun have not only Daisuke…but Roxie! I instantly want them to win even more!
MA: Introducing first the challengers, they are representing the Tanaka Zaibatsu and are accompanied…I guess…to the ring by their fellow Tanaka Zaibatsu members in Roxie Galanoochie and their leader, Daisuke Tanaka…They weigh in at a four and forty three pounds combined…THEY! ARE! MMMMMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSTERRRRRR BLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNND~!!! AND~! SSSSSSSSSHAAAAAAAAUUUUNNNNNNNNNNN WIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLSSSSSSOOOOONNNNNN~!!!
Surprisingly the fans give the Zaibatsu a fairly warm reception and it becomes clear why when a “Crow” chant begins amongst them. This chant prompts a caw’ing like cackle from Tanaka as Roxie continues to look around in amazement, unsure how Daisuke got her here. While Blond & Shaun both play up to the fans in the crowd and mock Hardcore Sex over their some what positive reaction and popularity of their boss.
MA: And introducing next the champions, they are presenting the Rejects and are accompanied to the ring by their fellow Reject and leader, Onikage…They weigh in at four hundred and twenty pounds combined…HE! IS! FFFFFFFFFEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIX AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRROOOOOYOOOOOOOO~!!! AND~! HE~! IS~! SSSSSSSSSSTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVEEEEEEEEEEEEE PAAAAAAAAAAATTERRRRRRRRSSSSSSSOOOOOONNNNNNN~!!! …They are your reigning FIW Tag Team Champions of the World…THEY! ARE! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRDCOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRE SSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEX~!!!
Much to the shock of the Tanaka Zaibatsu the Japanese fans erupt for the champions and the champions themselves look uncertain about it. That is until the deafening chant of “O-ni-ka-ge” rings out through the arena and brings back Tanaka’s scowl as FIW’s Morning Star grins at him from across the ringside floor. Getting pumped up from the reaction, Felix & Steve throw their arms into the air and show off their hardware to cheers and applause from the fans.
DING! DING! DING!
At the sound of the bell the Reject representatives toss their championships over the top rope and are caught by their advisor as they rush across the ring! With their guards down, Blond and Wilson are left wide open for the punches and forearm strikes that are dished out by the champions at a break neck pace! The Crow looks on in disapproval with a scowl and Roxie looks a little concerned for them as their heads bobble about with each strike they take. Switching it up with their attack, Hardcore Sex start dishing out windmill style chops onto the chests of the Zaibatsu to cheers & applause from the fans in attendance!
CL: Oh come on! This can’t be legal!
CM: It isn’t! …It isn’t, right Hitchen?
JH: Yes, Chip...it’s not legal and the referee better take control of this situation soon. This isn’t a hardcore match after all!
Red is the color that Blond’s and Shaun’s chests are turning as they blister and bruise from the strikes they are receiving at a tommy gun style pace. Finally they see their opening…and bail out of the ring from between the ropes and dive out onto the ringside floor near their comrades! Some of the fans jeer this cowardly action as Roxie goes over to them to see how they are and fawn over them as Tanaka scurries over to them as they wince & groan. The entire Tanaka Zaibatsu huddle together in a small meeting as they whisper their next course of action Hardcore Sex get a proud nod from their advisor on the outside.
CM: Time-out! Time-out! Time to rethink their strategy!
JH: Last time I checked there were no time-outs in wrestling though it looks like sitting underneath Onikage’s learning tree is aiding Hardcore Sex.
CL: They do seem more aggressive than usual…and a lot more fucking gay.
Each of their heads nod and more whispers seep out, Daisuke seems to be talking the most out of the lot of them though the others chime in every few seconds. After a minute or so of this they all stand up and nod their heads in unison with smug smirks painted straight across on all of them. Unfortunately for them they are so busy they don’t see Felix diving through the ropes in a tope that ends up him tackle hugging Daisuke & sending the rest into the guard rail! Things go for bad to worse for the trio because Steve leaps up onto the top rope and springboards off of it into a three hundred and sixty degree splash that takes them down!
JH: And, Hardcore Sex clear house!
CL: And, get a polite applause for their efforts.
CM: I think that cat freak might’ve been right, it’s like we are at a friggin’ golf game or some thing!
Darting back up to their feet, Felix and Steve scoop up Blond and Wilson, and lead them over to the apron and throw them back into the ring before sliding in after them. Once back in the ring they look back out as Tanaka gets on wobble legs to his feet and attempts to help Galanoochie back up to her own. The Fierce One and the Emo Kid turn their attentions back to their challengers and lift them up to their feet, whipping them to the other side of the ring! Tanaka’s Zaibatsu barrel across the ring and hit the ropes only to face plant to a confused reaction from Hardcore Sex, Fuzz, Onikage standing near by and the fans!
CL: Did that sheep fucker just yank their feet out from under them?!
CM: I didn’t think he could actually harm a contracted talent and vice versa!
JH: I…I don’t think I saw him do it but…why then?
Up onto their knees the token Black and Cajun men plea to the referee to do some thing about it and accusingly point at FIW’s Morning Star at ringside. The hardcore referee points at the Savior of Sorrow and warns him as he looks on with innocent puzzlement at what is going on right now. Fuzz turns his back to tell the champs it’s okay when Blond pulls out his signature roll of quarters with a sly smirk…and tosses them straight at the Rejects’ leader! Instinctively he catches them only for Shaun & his team mate to cry out and get the referee to turn around and see…Onikage holding the quarters with his arm raised towards Mr. Blond!
CM: Onikage has Jedi powers?! I thought that was only Tier! Crap! We might have to have the first ever light saber deathmatch!
JH: …He doesn’t have Jedi powers! Blond and Shaun are, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, framing Onikage!
CL: I like the Jedi powers theory better.
Now the referee isn’t happy and gets right to the ropes to sternly scold the Messiah of the Mind as Daisuke quietly chuckles on the opposite side of the ring. Furious at this happening, Hardcore Sex charge and hit stereo low dropkicks on their challengers straight to their faces! Immediately Roxie cries out and gains the referee’s attention as Tanaka and her provide a claim Hardcore Sex low blowed thir comrades and Onikage was giving them the distraction! That’s it, Fuzz starts shouting at the Savior of Sorrow and Hardcore Sex’s, and his eyes all grow huge as saucers at what he is saying to the former champion.
JH: The Tanaka Zaibatsu have staged this whole ordeal! Onikage is being ejected!
CL: Yup, like you said yourself, Hardcore Sex is a notch or two better than before with Onikage by their side.
CM: But when you take him out of the math they are back to being the guys that the Zaibatsu smacked around!
Japan’s fans are less than thrilled with this and let Fuzz know it as he seems rather proud in his decision making as he watches the Rejects’ leader head to the back. Distraught over losing their mentor, Hardcore Sex don’t realize Blond & Shaun sneaking up on them until it is too late & they get two face fulls of mist! Pulling out two more rolls of quarters, Blond tosses over to Wilson and the two whack each Hardcore Sex member over the head with one! In a dash they stuff them back away & Fuzz turns around in time to only see them both performing variations of the Daisuke Clutch to Felix & Steve!
CL: Genius! Fucking genius!
CM: Yes! Win, win, win!
1!
JH: The Tanaka Zaibatsu are stealing the belts!
CL: Wasn’t that how they won them…and retained them?
2!
CM: Down with the freaks!
JH: There has to be some way this can be stopped!
3!
DING DING DING~!!!
CL: Buwahahahahaha! It’s over! New champions!
CM: The belts are back in the Zaibatsu’s camp!
MA: Ladies and gentlemen your winners by pin fall…and NEW Full Intensity Wrestling Tag Team Champions of the World…Mr. Blond…and…Shaun Wilson…THEY! ARE! THE! TAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAKAAAAAAAAAAAA ZAAAAAAAIIIIIIIBAAAAAATSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUUUU~!!!
”X” cover begins to play to a chorus of hissing like jeers as Blond and Shaun roll out to the ringside area and are embraced by Roxie in a near tackle. Slowly and coldly Daisuke applauds his charges as they are presented with their championships and raise them over their heads. Shaun grinning and showing off his Flycore and Tag titles to the fans who are jeering at him as the Zaibatsu head to the back, looking like they are ready to party! Weakly Felix and Steve get up to their knees, wiping out the mist and clutching their heads as they look utterly crushed at what has transpired to them.
CM: New champions! New champions!
JH: That may be the case but the Zaibatsu stole them and still have to get past the Revolution!
CL: Oh yeah, that’ll be hard with Daisuke in their corner.
JH: I’m sorry folks at home if I’m not as excited about this match as I was originally…
CL: Are you still fucking crying over what happened?
CM: Seriously, since when were you such a big fan of the Rejects?
JH: While never a fan, I do feel like they were actually wronged and those belts were stolen from them.
CL: Well get the fuck over it, we got new champions and they are making their first defense.
CM: Against Batman and Robin!
JH: I don’t think one is greater than the other in the Revolution.
CL: Don’t make me laugh, Grant is certainly the superior one and thus why he’s…SUPERMAN!
CM: Was he the black one? Or, was that Steel or Cyborg or some thing like that?
MA: Ladies and gentlemen the next contested is the scheduled fifth match of this edition of Friday Night ReVolt! It will be the second match of the FIW Tag Team Round Robin Challenge and has been granted a thirty minute time limit with one fall to a finish! Your official for this bout is the Truth…and it is for the Full Intensity Wrestling Tag Team Championships of the World!
The house lights drop, immediately sending the crowd into a frenzy as they know EXACTLY who's on their way..
"As the day is long... as the damage done..."
RISE!
As one, the crowd LEAPS to their feet, all of them throwing 'R' signs into the air as the lights all over the arena begin to blaze and strobe maniacally to the thunder known as 'Damage Done' by Mushroomhead. Nightmare steps out onto the stage, coat drifting behind him, and Grant Rice follows him out a moment later, both raising the 'R' handsign to the crowd on opposite sides of the ramp, the theme song barely being heard over the noise.
Get the hammers high!
Get in line to get fucked up!
Get the hammers high!
Get fucked up!
They converge at the center of the stage and head down the ramp, Nightmare tagging hands with the fans as Grant just heads straight for the ring, stopping at the apron to wait for Nightmare to reach him and slide underneath the ropes before entering the ring himself. He goes up on the turnbuckle, beckoning the crowd to shower the Revolution with their praise as Nightmare riles up the crowd on the other turnbuckle as only he can, taunting, flexing and such like. As soon as the chorus hits they begin screaming the lyrics with the song and the crowd, both holding up both hands in the 'R' handsign.
GONNA WAKE SHIT UP! GONNA BREAK SHIT UP!
GONNA TEAR THIS GONE-DEAD WORLD APART!
GONNA TEAR THIS GONE-DEAD WORLD APART!
GONNA WAKE SHIT UP! GONNA BREAK SHIT UP!
DON'T DOUBT THE HATE THAT'S INSIDE OF MY HEART!
GONNA BREAK HUMANITY JUST IN SPITE OF ME!
GAZE INTO MY EYES AND YOU'LL FIIIIIIIIIIIND!!!
JH: Well he got his wish of being a double champion again…
CL: And, that’s all that matters…and that Daisuke and Roxie just appeared from behind Timmy the time keeper’s table.
CM: Once again my interest is peaked.
MA: Introducing first the challengers, they weigh in at a combined weight of five hundred and twenty three pounds…HE! IS! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNT RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCE~!!! AND~! HE! IS! NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHTMMMMMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAARRRRRE~!!! THEY! ARE! THE! …RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVOLLLLLLLLLUTION~!!!
Politely the fans applaud the challengers who give curt waves out to their fans, their focus never leaving the champions opposite to them in the ring. Rice slings his UIC over his shoulder and Shaun seems to take it up as a challenge, showing off his two championships around his shoulders. Nightmare stretches a few more times as he glares at Blond who looks like he’s trying not to laugh in the Revo member’s face in light of this intense look. Instead he opts to pat his championship that is comfortably resting around his waist and the Prince of Pain makes a point of pointing straight at the title.
MA: And introducing the champions, they are representatives of the Tanaka Zaibatsu and are accompanied to the ring by Daisuke Tanaka and Roxie Galanoochie. They weigh in at a combined weight of four hundred and forty three pounds…And they are your Full Intensity Wrestling Tag Team Champions of the World…THEY! ARE! MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSTERRRRRRR BLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNND~!!! AND~! SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAUNNNN WWWWWWWWWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLSSSSSSSSSOOOONNNNNMNN~!!!
FIW’s new champions soak in their hated reaction from the fans of hisses; the Cajun rubs the main plate of his belt as he looks out at them. While the African American Whoop Ass Machine struts around their corner with a championship on each of his shoulders. Grant softly shakes his head and this show boating only seems to make Nightmare a tad angry as the referee takes all four championships from them. Both teams talk over who’ll go first and for Revolution Nightmare steps up and from the Zaibatsu Blond takes up the call.
DING DING DING~!!!
Upon the bell ringing the tag champ scurries right in and ducks beneath a giant right hand from the larger man and clubs him in the side with a sharp punch of his own! Showing his power, the punch causes not only the air to be knocked out of his opponent…but for a spurt of internal bleeding come from his mouth! Nightmare tries to snatch it and clean his mouth as he staggers back and the referee checks on him, leaving the Cajun with ample time to hide his roll of quarters. When that is taken care of Blondie rids them of the distance between them with a side superkick that knocks the Prince of Pain’s block off and causes him to crumble!
CL: Fear the power of Blond!
CM: Yes! He may talk funny but he’s awesome!
JH: I don’t like the look of that boot, let alone his roll of quarters!
Perhaps what Hitchen means is Blondie is having trouble walking with his boot he used to kick Nightmare as if it is heavier than usual for him. Further evidence of this is the loud clank it makes with every step he takes as he swoops in on the Revo member and connects with a fist drop right to the throat! Truth warns the Cajun about it but he blows off the official as he gets back up and drags the larger man back over to his team’s corner and tags in Wilson. FIW’s Flycore Champion pulls back on the top rope and sling shots himself into the ring with a senton splash right onto the Prince of Pain to applause from Daisuke & Roxie.
CM: This is great!
JH: Great?! This is horrible! Nightmare is being brutalized! Blond has used a loaded boot!
CL: Loaded boot? Come on, what are we, back in the fucking sixties?
Standing over his fallen challenger, the African American Whoop Ass Machine pumps his fists into the air and taunts the other Revo member out on the apron. Rice glares at the Zaibatsu member the entire time he grins & stares at Rice as he soccer kicks Nightmare repeatedly in the kidneys! The Prince of Pain groans and cries out, trying to cover himself up as a stream of crimson liquid is now freely spewing out from his mouth & trickles down his chest! Leaping up and bouncing off of the second rope, Shaun spins around in midair and delivers a picture perfect springboard leg drop down onto the throat of the challenger!
JH: They are just picking apart Nightmare here!
CL: The blood, it’s glorious…
CM: Come on! Do more! Do more!
Feebly the Prince of Pain starts pushing his body towards his team’s corner and the UIC stretches over the top rope with his hand out and extended to be ready. The fans applaud & root on the Revo member to tag in the other half and he makes about half way there…when Shaun stomps him on the back of his head! With Nightmare in between his legs he taunts both men to make the tag and every time Nightmare tries he gets slaps onto his head! Wilson cackles when he grows bored with merely slapping the challenger and actually kicks his arm with a martial arts like strike that makes him tremble in agony!
CL: This is almost too pathetic.
CM: Ha, what a moron Nightmare is!
JH: Come on! Nightmare! Make the tag!
More laughter from the Flycore Champion and his efforts get polite cackling & applause from his fellow Zaibatsu members out on the ringside floor. It ends when Nightmare seemingly gets a burst of energy out of nowhere and scrambles towards the turnbuckle in a last ditch effort to tag out. Just when it looks like the two Revo members’ hands are inches apart a front dropkick to the back of the challenger’s head stops him from making any tags. In the blink of an eye Shaun snatches the Prince of Pain and drags him across the canvas, leaving a blood smear, and over to his team’s corner & tags out to Blond!
CM: They are working like a well oiled machine.
JH: Maybe but it’s a dastardly one if I’ve ever seen such a thing!
CL: Dastardly? Seriously, are you sure we haven’t fallen through a time warp to the sixties?
Pointing over to Grant to catch the Truth’s attention, it allows Tanaka to toss two of his bukkon into the ring and Blond & Shaun catch them! With the wooden swords the tag champions very much go to town on their much larger challenger and abuse his midsection & skull mainly in what they target. As soon as they notice the referee is about to turn around Wilson dives out onto the apron and they both toss the swords back towards their owner. Who is so quick in grabbing them in midair and putting them back underneath his cloak that it isn’t precisely captured by the camera, only a blur of it is.
JH: More illegal tactics?!
CL: You can never have enough of them, Hitchen.
CM: That’s right, you can’t.
Arrogance flows off of the Cajun as he holds Nightmare by the wrist and goes to whip him towards one of the neutral corners only for Nightmare to reverse it! He redirects it towards the Revolution corner, except Blondie reverses it right back and sends him towards the corner instead! The Prince of Pain smirks as he’s trick worked and the tag champ curses under his breath as Daisuke shouts at his charge in outrage at falling for such a simple tactic! Mr. Blond tries to chase after him to stop him but it’s too late, the challenger hits his buckle and his team mate & he share a tag as he slips out of the ring!
CL: Fucking hell! Blond fell for the old Daffy Duck trick!
CM: Rabbit Season! Duck Season!
JH: Hooray for obscure referencing I suppose.
Opposite to how he was moments ago, the Cajun back pedals and tries to beg for mercy from the fresh Revo member who instead gives him a running yakuza kick! The blow makes the champion collapses and only be saved by the middle rope that he gets tangled into on the way down to the mat! Using them to get to his feet, Shaun tries to warn his partner not to however Blond turns around and gets a left hook to the jaw that sends him into the air! The Tanaka Zaibatsu member literally soars through the air several feet and twirls around & around in midair before he crashes down onto the mat with a thud!
CM: Crap! Blond’s quiff’s a lil’ messed up!
JH: The UZI and the Jaw Jackin’! Grant Rice is on fire!
CL: Blargh! Stupid Grimace, I blame him for this.
Fed up with the wait and standing there, the Flycore Champion hops over the top rope and bolts straight at his opposing fellow champion! Unfortunately for him Grant hoists him up and rotates the two of them almost all the way around before he drops Wilson down onto his back! Pushing up off of his knees with a determined look in his eyes as the fans cheer & applaud him on, he spots Blond who is stumbling about after getting back up to his feet. Tanaka tries to warn his associate though it is too late Grant comes up from behind to pick him up for a backdrop suplex only to turn it around into a one-armed slam!
JH: Killswytch and the Call Nine-One-One! My word!
CL: Yeeeah…he’s fucking pissed.
CM: I would be too if I looked like that.
FIW’s Crow flies up onto the apron to try and make the tide turn back around, and distract the referee…but gets a yakuza kick for his troubles! Tanaka tumbles off of the apron and crashes into Roxie as Rice turns his sights back on his legal opponent and Wilson rolls out of the ring. The Undisputed International Champion drops down to one knee and locks in the ankle lock on the Zaibatsu member who thrashes about on the canvas in pain! Just when he starts to try to crawl to the ropes…Rice grapevines it and wrenches as far back as he can & Blond taps viciously against the mat with both hands!
CL: What the fuck?!
CM: I thought it was called the Straight Mizery, not the What the fuck?!
DING DING DING~!!!
JH: I don’t believe it! Grant Rice and Nightmare are tag team champions yet again! They do say that some times champions come in waves and that is true tonight!
CL: Let’s hope their second reign is shorter than their first.
MA: Ladies and gentlemen your winners by submission…and NEW Full Intensity Wrestling Tag Team Champions of the World…GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNT RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCE~!!! AND~! NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHTMMMMMMMMMMMMARE~!!! THEY! ARE! THE! RRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVOLUTION~!!!
”Damage Done” erupts along with the fans in attendance after this announcement and Rice releases the hold with a look of disbelief on his face. Nightmare rolls into the ring with the same look on his face and the two tag partners stare at each other in utter shock over what’s happened. They crawl nearer to each other and embrace in a hug on their knees to more applause and tears start to flow freely as Truth presents them with the belts! Rice & Night heave their belts up over their heads into the air as Daisuke & Roxie help the wounded Blond & Shaun out of the ring with glares at the Revolution.
CM: I think I’m going to gag…
JH: I can’t believe it! The Revolution is now two time tag team champions!
CL: Ugh…Though some thing coming might make this more interesting.
Out of the crowd a figure hops the guard rail and hurries into the ring right behind the newly crowned world tag team champions. When they feel the presence of another person they turn around only for Rice to get a face full of black steel colliding with his facial features! Nightmare looks on horrified at the man standing over his fallen comrade…TIER! The God of Violence turns his enraged sight onto the other former follower and drives the steel onto the top of the Prince of Pain’s skull to jeers from the fans!
JH: Oh! What is this?!
CL: I think it’s called condemning the false prophets.
CM: Hey! I actually kinda…like Tier now!
With the co-champion down, Tier lifts his steel chair over his head and drills the tip of it into the bad knee of the aforementioned co-champion! Again and again, and again The Immortal Eternal Red does this with a ruthless mentality as Nightmare’s screams fill the air & their music ceases. Some thing actually joins these screams, the muffled delighted laughter of Tier as he pauses & bends down…pulling off the larger man’s protective knee brace! Once this is done he continues to assault the knee of Nightmare as Grant shakes his head on the mat and tries to stir & get the cobwebs out from the shot.
CL: Yes! End him! End him!
CM: He’s going to do it! Tier is going to end Nightmare!
JH: What has gotten into Tier?! These are men that followed him and admired him!
Hordes of officials and EMTs rush out from the back to try and save the Prince of Pain’s career and get for their efforts chair shots from Tier! The former Dual Crown Champion slips Nightmare’s leg in between the sides of the steel chair so it is over his fragile knee perfectly. He hits the ropes and comes back only to jump up and come crashing down with a senton splash onto the steel chair that snaps against Nightmare’s knee! The Revo member howls out and starts crying, Tier shaking his head as he rolls up onto his knee and motions that isn’t enough.
CM: …I think I’m in love.
JH: This is deplorable! He’s trying to cripple Nightmare!
CL: It’s like Christmas came late!
Gracefully the God of Violence picks up his chair and heads towards the closest corner, and starts to scale up it with as much grace as before. He goes up to the second buckle and teases going off of it only to climb up to the very top to some worried murmurs from the crowd in attendance. Like a bird he floats into the air and with the chair behind his legs goes for a top-rope Arabian press when suddenly Nightmare disappears from his place! The Immortal Eternal Red’s glare darts around and spots why, Rice is on the outside and helping the hoppling Nightmare to the back as he stares back with a conflicted expression at Tier.
JH: Thank goodness for Rice! Why is Tier so hell bent on seemingly getting rid of the remains of his own creation?!
CL: Who the fuck cares why, he was so close to freeing us of Nightmare!
CM: Gotta wonder if the big purple jerk will be ready in time for the main event!
Crackerjack walks, not struts, down the hall seemingly ready for his first shot at the Dual Crown championship. Along the way however he's called over for a sudden and abrupt interview by Rebecca Hunter.
Rebecca: Crackerjack, a moment of your time?
Rebecca, long in this, has learnt that even her looks alone could never get the big man to stop and take notice. Even when she tries to put on the charm it fails so this time she's trying a more direct approach. It works as Crackerjack stops and turns toward her.
Crackerjack: Shoot.
Rebecca: Well I, along with many others, were just wondering about your answer to Prime's challenge. I mean, it's been over a week since it was first laid out by Jesse and we haven't heard a single word about it from you. And I know a lot of fans are really looking forward to a more...proper setup between the two of you.
Crackerjack: Prime?
Crackerjack can't help but laugh a little at the sound of that name coming out of his own mouth.
Crackerjack: Let me tell you something, Rebecca...
Rebecca: Please do.
Crackerjack goes silent for a moment not really expecting that kind of interference in his speech. Nevertheless, Crackerjack continues on.
Crackerjack: I'm on my way to the biggest match of my career. Bigger than my UIC match against Momoko, bigger than my buried alive match against Elrick, bigger than...a match against Prime. This is my shot at finally becoming the top of this business and all you can ask me about is that...pathetic waste of talent? The guy's having more troubles in his relationship than I am with Elrick. And right now it's so pathetically obvious what's going on between him and Kennedy. Right now they're playing the "Oh I loved him, but he chose another woman. So please everyone pray that Prime will see the light and leave the woman whose obviously not right for him." It's getting repetitive and frankly, I think the fans have lost interest. And now, that's where the fans want me to step in. To hopefully save Prime's career from ending due to lackluster romances. So now the challenge has been laid out and to his challenge I say; forget him. I'm not going to lower myself to his level and hopes he "sees the light" and actually puts up a good fight. If he wants to waste the rest of his career dancing around two, sorry, three women, let him. I've got bigger things to contend with right now. Mainly my buried alive match against Elrick and my up and coming dual crown title shot.
Rebecca: So wait, are you saying we may never see a fair contest between yourself and Prime?
Crackerjack: I'll tell you what, because chances are you'd be one of the first to find out; when he grows a pair, then we'll talk.
Crackerjack seems finished with Rebecca and seemingly Prime as he continues on down the hall.
JH: “Our next match is for the Dual Crown Championship and we will see, Reject stable mates, Crackerjack and Kiyoshi Nakahata battling for Kiyoshi’s Dual Crown Championship belts.”
CL: “Many think that the Dual Crown Champion could be the splinter to come between a relationship but these two guys claim its business tonight and back to friends tomorrow.”
CM: “No matter the outcome this match is going to be fucking awesome.”
MA: “Now making his way to the ring. He is the challenger and hails from the Alleys of New York. He weighs in at a massive 319 pounds…..CRRRRRRAAACCCCKKKKEEEERRRRJJJJJAAACCCKKKK!!!!”
The first second of the song, all lights go out save a white flashing strobelight that comes on with each heavy bass beat. This happens for about ten seconds until the solo distorted guitar kicks in for the arrival of the monster that is Crackerjack. Jack's sheer size seems larger through semi darkness as his appearance even more frightening through the flashing strobe lights. He stands there for a moment before moving down through calypso given steel drum beats. Crackerjack slowly makes his way down to the ring making sure each step counts while looking around through different sections of the crowd one booing fan at a time. The white strobe lights slowly becoming a mixture of navy blue and a normal blue. Soon, the monster is ready to enter the ring. Instead of actually going in though, Crackerjack stands there and overlooks the ring from between the top and middle rope. In a quick instant, Crackerjack seizes the top rope and uses it to keep balance as he pulls his entire form up in one step to the apron. Still outside the ring, Crackerjack walks along the apron for a few steps before turning around and entering the ring over the top rope where the purple light that overshadows the ring awaits him. Now inside, the huge monstrosity of evil takes his time walking around the ring in a slow, yet methodical circle. Crackerjack continues to walk around as the normal houselights slowly overtake the purple cover.
CM: “Dare I say a lack of support showing by the almost ever present Onikage.”
CL: “Maybe they paper, rock, scissors before to see who he came down with.”
JH: “I think the champ likes to keep his advisor close to him at all times. Even if he is facing one of his own.”
With darkness' embrace of the entire building, a heart-beat starts up. Slowly, steadily, never ending until the warrior finally falls. On the ReVoltrons, each beat is marked by the impact of one of Kiyoshi Nakahata's trademark moves of a variety of opponents, FIW or otherwise. The cage, as ever it did, slowly fills up with smoke to mark the coming of the Yeti, and the soothing whisper of Trent Reznor sweeps through, backed by light tapping and silent screams.
Synthesisers add to the noise of the song, the heartbeat, and the the rising cheer subside a little. A cloaked, masked figure emerges from the smoke, turning the few residual cheers to something less admiring when the Sin of Sloth reveals his face. Onikage is not precisely loved around these parts. Especially when he is not the person advertised... Up on the ReVoltrons, Nakahata closes his eyes and lowers his mask…
MA: And his opponent, accompanied by the Morning Star, Onikage... Weighing in tonight at Two Hundred and Sixty pounds; from Komachi City, Aichi; He is Your Full Intensity Wrestling Dual Crown Champion... The Sin of Lust... NAKAHATA KI-YOOOOOOSSSSHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!
The introduction is snuck in a heartbeat before the chorus crackles away and is replaced by a cry taken up by the audience of 'Fuck Shit Up!' leading to an explosion obliterating the stage and the entrance way, leaving only two people in the building unmoved. One, the Saviour, who stands part way down the aisle, and Judo Senshi, white hair visible by the fact that his pyro blew down his hood. As he strides on towards the ring, destiny and whatever else; he stops at the top of the steps and raises the World Heavyweight Title clenched in his left fist; to resounding a roar from the fans to their countryman. That done, he tucks the strap into the Global Heavyweight Championship around his waist, pulls his hood up, and starts marching down to the ring so focused that the Morning Star even steps out of his way. By how thunderous guitars have replaced the synthesised riff that came before, and Max Cavalera's gutteral roar has replaced Trent Reznor's calm soft singing.
Reaching the ring, and ascending the steps, the real life Kiyoshi Nakahata removes the mask, handing out to Onikage as he strides around on the apron. He reaches his corner as the song reaches a climax, and unhitches the WHT, throwing it up one more time for the Japanese crowd, and on the phrase "Worst Enemy," does his customary vault up onto the top turnbuckle and sits down, pulling his hood right over his scarred face as the lights return...
JH: “We are only minutes away from this Cain and Abel like story.”
CM: “Please don’t start with the bible thumping.”
JH: “I’m not bible thumping. I’m just merely comparing this to a biblical story.”
CL: “Are you making implications that Crackerjack is jealous of Kiyoshi? Much like Cain was of Abel?”
JH: “Bah!!!.... forget it!”
As the match is preparing to get underway, official, Mark Jackson takes his aim toward Crackerjack to check him over for illegal objects. The whole time Crackerjack stares down at him maniacally making him nervous and cutting him short. He then makes a quick dash away from the monstrous challenger and moves to the champion himself. A quick pat down of Kiyoshi reveals nothing of the foreign nature. Jackson then requests both the Global Heavyweight belt and the World Heavyweight belt from Kiyoshi and folds the both neatly and drapes them across his arms before heading to the middle of the ring. He makes a beckon for both men to meet in the center of the ring where he explains the rules and shows Crackerjack what he is fighting for. Jackson then instructs both men back to their corner and raises one belt in each hand before heading to the ropes to hand them to a time keeper. Once his hands are free he calls for the opening bell and gets this match underway.
DING
DING
JH: “Here we go!”
As the bell is rang Onikage drops down to ring side and the two Reject members move toward the center of the ring but stop within feet of each other. For a moment it looks as though they are going to exchange a hand shake but that is thrown out the window the moment the two collide dead center in the ring unloading with a fury of punches and chops on each other. It is Crackerjack who gains the upper hand first and manages to block of chop from Kiyoshi. He counters this with a hard right hand in which Kiyoshi attempts to fire off another chop that is only blocked by the big man yet again and answered with a huge forearm shot to the jaw that sends Nakahata reeling.
Crackerjack follows in pushing Kiyoshi into the ropes and launching him across the ring toward the opposing ropes. As the champion rebounds off Crackerjack is looking to measure him up for a massive clothesline but is caught off guard as Kiyoshi goes air born with a kneel kick that plants a foot squarely into his chest causing him to stagger backwards into the turnbuckle. Nakahata moves quickly back for his feet and is met by Crackerjack who only seemed to be momentarily stunned by the kneel kick from his opponent. The two gladiators move back to the middle of the ring bumping chests briefly before locking up into a collar and elbow.
JH: “Neither Crackerjack or Nakahata holding back on the other.”
CM: “Onikage keeping a neutral stand point with both of his charges.”
Kiyoshi manages to break free first though holding onto one arm of Crackerjack and spins behind his opponent wrenching his arm up into a chicken wing. A brief moment is spent working on the arm causing Crackerjack to stoop over to alleviate some of the pressure being put on his limb. Seeing an opening Kiyoshi releases the arm and moves into a side headlock. Crackerjack wastes no time attempting to free himself from the clutches of the champion but cannot manage to slip free. Instead he gives him a slap to the ribs and then begins to back pedal moving the momentum of the two big men toward the ropes behind them. As they hit Crackerjack manages to pull himself free and with the recoil of the ropes pushes Kiyoshi running across the ring toward the opposing ropes. As Nakahata returns Crackerjack ducks down for a back body drop but as the champ returns he puts on the brakes and drives a hard knee up into his opponents face.
The Dual Crown champ then grabs his opponent by the back of the mask and repeatedly slams alternating knee strikes into Crackerjack’s masked mug. The fans let out with an ‘oooohhhh’ with each knee as they connect. Kiyoshi then wraps his hand under the front of the mask and brings his stable mate into a standing position before nailing him with a very stiff head butt. Crackerjack staggers in place and looks as though he’s clearly had his cage rattled. Kiyoshi then moves in after Crackerjack and hoists him up with a scoop slam and places him over his shoulder preparing for what appears to be a power slam. Though to his surprise Jack manages to shift his weight and drop down his back and lands on his feet behind the champion.
JH: “Crackerjack with the reversal.”
CM: “Look out Kiyoshi!”
CL: “Too late!”
Crackerjack bursts forward just as Kiyoshi turns to him and follows through until the champ is lying on his back. Cracker attempts to get back to his feet but is clearly still shaken from the knee strikes and head butt brought on by his opponent. He drops back down to a knee and holds his head for a moment before pushing back up to his feet as Kiyoshi rolls onto his stomach and begins to make the move back to his feet as well.
As Nakahata pushes up to his feet Crackerjack moves in cinching his arms around the mid section of the champion. Onikage on the outside applauds Crackerjack encouraging the competitive nature between the two reject members. Jack then within the blink of an eye hoists Nakahata off his feet and over his own head with a overhead belly to belly suplex that sends Nakahata to the mat with a thud and sends him skidding to the ropes. The champion pushes himself out the rest of the way taking a moment to collect himself and slides back into the ring before a count can even be established by Mark Jackson.
JH: “Kiyoshi taking a moment to collect his thoughts.”
CL: “Hardly. I think he knew he was one upped and bailed.”
As Kiyoshi moves back to his feet Crackerjack is there waiting swinging with a punch to the gut of the champion. However, Kiyoshi has other plans as he catches the arm and spins with it dragging Crackerjack to the mat with a Wakigatame and wrenches back on the arm attempting to cause his opponent to submit. Mark Jackson slides in to check on Crackerjack but the Reject is close enough to the ropes to grab hold and break the submission. As soon as Jackson instructs Kiyoshi to release he does as asked and moves back to a vertical base. On the mat Crackerjack rubs his arm and rolls up onto his side as Kiyoshi gives him some space to recover.
JH: “True sportsmanship there by Kiyoshi.”
Though the moment Crackerjack attempts to get back to his feet Nakahata is right there again grabbing Jack from behind and attempts to hoist him up for a German suplex. Jack blocks the first attempt and Kiyoshi powers in for another. Yet another block with the foot hooking around the champions leg and Crackerjack fires back with a hard elbow that connects with the bridge of Kiyoshi’s nose. This brings water to the champion’s eyes and he staggers back holding his nose as Crackerjack tries to turn this match in his favor. The big man charges forward looking for another clothesline…..
CM: “KIYOSHI DUCKS!”
JH: “Crackerjack anticipates Kiyoshi!”
As Crackerjack goes for the clothesline the champion ducks under. Jack does not hesitate for a moment and turns his momentum back at the champion and wraps his arms around his waist and brings him up for a release German suplex.
JH: “GERMAN SUUUUUPPPLLLEEXXXAHHHH!!!”
CL: “He landed on his fucking neck! Crackerjack is trying to cripple him.”
Not allowing his stable mate a moment to recover Crackerjack is right back over Kiyoshi and is picking him up to his feet. He hooks his arms over his opponents neck and then hoists him up into the air quickly and then with a great display of power moves out to the middle of the ring while still holding the champion vertically.
CM: “What is he doing?”
Crackerjack stalls for what seems like an eternity and the blood rushes to Nakahata’s face making him look like a hot house tomato. You then see the monsters legs kick out from underneath him and he bolts backward dropping the champ on the base of his neck.
JH: “BRAINBUSSSTTAAHHHHH!!!!”
CM: “He’s going for the pin! Kick out, Kiyoshi!”
Mark Jackson slides into position as Crackerjack drapes his body over the Dual Crown champions and hooks a leg. The official’s hand hits the mat as Onikage looks somewhat confused on the outside. He looks worried that the Kiyoshi’s reign could be coming to an end but also excited for Crackerjack.
…1
…2
…SHOULDER UP!!!!
Crackerjack appears to be frustrated but how can you really tell with his face being hid behind that mask all the time. He does not waste time and pulls Kiyoshi back to his feet and pulls him quickly across the ring by an arm and into the corner. The Dual Crown hits the turnbuckle firmly and the challenger follows in rapidly with a huge boot rising toward his face. At the last possible moment Kiyoshi makes a dive and runs down the ropes avoiding his clock getting cleaned by the enormous foot. Cracker instead gets his leg caught up over the top turnbuckle and leaves himself vulnerable to attack.
This is exactly what happens as Kiyoshi bolts from the side of Crackerjack and nails him with a stiff kick to the leg causing it to buckle underneath him. Kiyoshi then takes some distance as Jack attempts to make back to his feet and the champion comes charging forward and nails a huge spear. Both men go tumbling through the ropes and to the outside as the crowd who still remain silent get up on their feet to see the condition of the competitors.
CM: “Holy Shit! What a spear!”
JH: “All they need to worry about now is getting back into the ring before they are counted out.”
CL: “Or they can save all this back and forth bullshit and both get counted out.”
Mark Jackson begins the count out on the competitors as they both lay on the matted flooring. Crackerjack is apparently suffering from the impact and the topple to the ground where as Kiyoshi only seems slightly dazed and is moving around attempting to get to his feet.
1…
2…
3…
4…
Nakahata utilizes the ring steps to push himself back up to his feet and staggers over to Crackerjack who has rolled to his side. He lifts the big man up off the arena floor and moves toward the ring. He attempts to slam his head off the ring apron but Crackerjack still has some fight left in him and braces his arms firmly on the edge of the apron blocking the attack. He then rears his elbow back connecting the with ribs of Kiyoshi as the count continues.
5…
6…
He then turns and pummels Kiyoshi in the face with a hard right hand out that sends him staggering away from the ring. Crackerjack knowing that he cannot win the title via count out quickly goes after Nakahata and hurls him under the ropes and back into the ring. Kiyoshi is up to his feet first as Crackerjack brings his massive frame back into the vertical position.
CM: “HOLY SHIT!!!!”
JH: “SPACE MOUNTAIN KIIIYYYYOOOOSSHHIIIII!!!!”
Completely out of nowhere Kiyoshi hits his signature, STO planting his challenger face first into the mat. Crackerjack flops over onto his back and Nakahata scrambles to the cover as Onikage slaps his hands to the mat in support of both his wrestlers. The crowd are on their feet screaming at the top of their lungs as the Japanese wrestlers makes his cover after hitting this great move. Mark Jackson leaps over the pinfall attempt to get himself into position and brings his hand down for the count.
…1
…2
…2.5
…BURST OUT!!!
JH: “Can you believe it? He just kicked out of the Space Mountain Kiyoshi like it was a body slam!”
Crackerjack surprisingly gets moving to his feet quicker than most would expect and he does not look like he is playing anymore. Kiyoshi is to his feet as well but neither of them notices that they have a visitor in the form of “The High Spot Sensation” making his way onto the entrance stage. The Grand Prix Championship is strapped tightly around his waist as he stops at the top of the ramp and watches the action in the ring.
JH: “What is his deal? Does he not know he can’t just show up when he feels like it?”
CM: “Actually he is the Grand Prix Tournament Champion. He very well could have business out here since the champ is in the ring.”
CL: “Any change of pace would be greatly welcome. I’m growing bored of watching these two.”
Kiyoshi attempts to slow the adrenaline rush of Crackerjack down with a palm strike but the big man brushes it off and gives Kiyoshi a hearty shove backwards. This sends the champion staggering and gives Crackerjack the opening to charge forward and nearly take the face off of his opponent with a huge boot to the face. Kiyoshi collapses into a seated position and sits there for several moments with a dazed look on his face.
Jack moves lumbers in after his opponent grabbing him by the arms and drives a hard knee into the center of his spine before spinning him over so that his body is facing the mat. Crackerjack finds a seated position and wraps his opponent’s arms over his thighs and hooks his hand around the chin of Kiyoshi. He leans back with all his weight and the camel clutch locked in. As Mark Jackson moves in to check for a choke and also to see if Kiyoshi wants to continue, Ethan Adams begins to make his decent down to the ring getting a closer look at the action.
JH: “He could have watched the match just fine from up there.”
CL: “He’s doing what any good contender would do. He is scouting the champion and his challengers. You never know when you may have to face any of them on any given night.”
Jackson asks Kiyoshi again if he wants to give up but instead of answering verbally he does physically as he musters up the strength to move his arms forward and push his body up to relieve some of the weight off the small of his back. Crackerjack sees the struggle coming and relinquishes the hold and pulls Kiyoshi up to his feet quickly. Ethan still watching on intently passes by Onikage who just watches him closely as he makes his way to the announce booth. Chip Martin gets to his feet promptly and picks up a spare head set and hands it to the ‘First Wonder of the World’. Ethan places it on his head as Crackerjack places a hard boot to the stomach of Kiyoshi.
CM: “Welcome to the announce booth Ethan!”
Ethan: “Thank you, Chip. Glad you could have my presence.”
JH: “I sure hope you are here to cash in that title shot, Ethan. If not your wasting our time by being out here.”
Ethan: “Whoa! What’s with the hostility, Hitchen? ETHAN ADAMS is a vital part of this show and the fans want to see as much of me as possible.”
JH: “Why couldn’t you just…..”
Just as Jonathan appears to be asking Ethan an important question, Crackerjack signals for one of his signature moves and wraps his hands around the throat of Kiyoshi.
CM: “VISIONS OF NELL! We could have a new champion.”
CL: “Keep a close watch Ethan. This could be the guy you are facing for the title.”
Just before the move is pulled off Kiyoshi bursts his arms apart and battles forward with a series of palm strikes and then a big head butt. He then wraps his arm in and pulls his opponent off his feet as the crowd comes unglued.
JH: “Uuuuuuurrrrrraaaaaanaggggggggeeeee!!!!!”
Ethan: “Gotta go!”
JH: “What’s he doing?”
Ethan gets up quickly from the announce table and sets down the headset. Kiyoshi drives Crackerjack into the mat firmly and rolls up onto his chest planting both knees over his challenger’s shoulders and reaches back grabbing his legs. He leans forward putting as much weight on the shoulders as possible as Mark Jackson lunges in and begins slapping his hands to the mat as Ethan watches from ringside.
…1
JH: “What is he doing?”
CM: “Don’t worry about him. He’s harmless.”
…2
JH: “Harmless my ASS!”
CL: “Wow! Hitchen…you swore!”
…3
Just after Jackson slaps his hand to the mat for the final of the count he motions to the time keeper to ring the bell. Kiyoshi nods to Onikage on the outside of the ring and then notices Ethan on the outside and locks his eyes on him as he breathes heavily from the hard fought match.
DING
DING
DING
Onikage slides in the ring with the Dual Crown champion and both keep their eyes locked in on Ethan as Mark Jackson raises Kiyoshi’s hand in victory and Michael Anderson announces him victorious.
MA: “Ladies and Gentlemen….Your winner by pinfall and STILL…FIW DUAL CROWN CHAMPIOONNNNN! KIIIYYYYOOOOOSSSSHIIIII NAAAAAKKKKAAAAAHHHHHAAATTTTAAAA~!!!!!!”
Just after he is officially declared the winner Ethan slides into the ring and Mark Anderson lowers Kiyoshi’s hand and questions Ethan of his arrival. Ethan ignores the official and steps in to Kiyoshi even more placing his hands down around the lower edges of the belt and cracking a small smile.
JH: “It looks like he’s going to cash his title shot in. What a coward! Can’t you challenge him when he’s fresh?”
CM: “He hasn’t said he’s cashing it in yet.”
CL: “We are going to find out right now. Jackson is asking him.”
As Crackerjack begins to stir and begins pulling himself up on the ropes. Official, Mark Jackson stands in front of Ethan and flat out asks him.
Mark Jackson: “Are you going to cash it in?”
Still Ethan does not answer the ref and just reaches behind his back and slowly begins to unsnap the first set of buttons on the belt. The whole time Ethan and Kiyoshi keep their eyes locked on each other and Onikage keeps his eyes on what Ethan is doing behind his back.
CL: “Right now would not be the time to try something stupid, Ethan. Even though Crackerjack is still out of it….He probably has enough fight left in him to defend his stable mate.”
Still moving incredibly slow and keeping his eyes locked in on Kiyoshi, Ethan manages to unsnap the first set of snaps but is interrupted when he sees a figure bolting down the ramp.
JH: “PRIME!!!!!”
CM: “Where the hell did he come from?”
CL: “I don’t know but he’s carrying a big fucking pipe!”
Prime is like a runaway freight train as he approaches the ring and slides straight into the ring with the large lead pipe clutched in his large meat hook of a hand. He moves to his feet and begins swinging wildly for the fences not caring one bit whom he takes out in the process.
JH: “HE ALMOST TOOK CRACKERJACK’S HEAD OFF!”
CL: “Luckily for Crackerjack, Kiyoshi and Onikage made the save and pulled him out of the ring.”
As the Reject’s make their way out of the ring and head backstage, Prime charges at Ethan who wants nothing of it and hops over the top rope and then drops down to the floor where he jumps the security barrier and makes his way to the audience much to the crowds pleasure.
This leave Prime in the ring looking like a caged and hungry lion who can’t decide between what meal he wants, Ethan Adams or Kiyoshi and Crackerjack.
Jaime Lee stands just a little ways away from the backstage entrance area prepping herself up for the upcoming match against the amazon of a woman.
Woman: Hey! Hey you!
Jaime, who was in the midst of stretching her legs and side muscles, straightens herself out when she notices a redheaded woman coming toward her holding a photo in one hand. The woman, clearly one Shawni Tifftin, places the photo back in her pocket before getting right in Jaime's face.
Shawni: You're her, aren't you? That bitch who thinks she can be Roxie's rival.
Jaime, clearly not comfortable having Shawni right in her face, looks around feeling a little awkward. Shawni takes this as her response.
Shawni: Yea, I thought it was you. Listen you little hussy, the role of Roxie's rival is already taken.
Jaime: Roxie is the one that--
Shawni waves a hand in Jaime's face cutting her off. Shawni, who was looking away to the floor shaking her head, now looks back up at Jaime looking as though she has the intent to slap her across the face.
Shawni: I don't really care about your excuses. Just stop, alright? I mean, you can do that, can't you? I know this place must be full of numb skull brutes like yourself, but I'm sure while that may be the case you have at least enough cells up in your head to form common sense.
That's when Shawni looks Jaime up and down almost as if disgusted about something.
Shawni: You certainly don't have enough to tell good fashion sense. Seriously, did you just--
As if on some sort of cue, Shawni's cell phone begins to ring from the inside of her purse. Pulling it out, Shawni gives the display a quick glance before opening it up. Suddenly, she seems full of pep and vinegar.
Shawni: Hello? Oh hi! Can you give me a moment? Kinda busy.
Shawni stands there silent for a moment staring at Jaime. Shawni now grows unsure as to if Jaime understood what she was talking about. After pointing toward Jaime, Shawni makes a little walking motion with her fingers down the hall.
Shawni: I'm trying to talk with a friend here, so...privacy?
Jaime still doesn't budge. Shawni shakes her head and rolls her eyes as she lets out a sigh.
Shawni: Whatever. Gawd.
Shawni's then takes the walk acting all cheery once again on her cell leaving Jaime to shake her own head slowly as she goes back into her warm up routine.
MA: The following is a Horrorcore Rules match scheduled for one fall and it is for the FIW HELLCAT DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP!
The house lights fade into darkness, sending a quiet murmur throughout the arena. Heavy drum beats spark the stage lights to life, the rainbow of strobes following as the vocals of “Burn” by the Luchagors kick into the PA system. Jaime skips out onto the stage shortly after with her Hellcat Division Championship over her shoulder. She playfully flips her hair up before raising the championship with both hands above her head. She trots down the stairs, continuing to skip down towards the ring, grinning and holding the championship up proudly along the way.
MA: Introducing first, making her way to the ring from Ohio, she is your HELLCAT DIVISION CHAMPION… JAAAAYYYMMMMEEE LLLLLEEEE!!!
JH: There is the champion and it is so good to see her with that championship back in her possess.
CL: Don’t expect to see it much longer.
CM: Yes. Because the odds are most certainly not in her favor tonight.
JH: While I do agree somewhat, I’ve yet to see Jaime back down from any challenge.
CM: Don’t mean she’ll overcome it. She’ll just run full-force into the brick wall.
Jaime ducks in under the bottom rope, flinging her hair back as she raises her head with a grin from ear to ear. She pops up to her feet and steps into the nearest turnbuckle, blowing a kiss to the fans in the front row and then leaping up to the middle turnbuckle. Once again she flings her hair back as she raises her head and shoots an arm up into the air with the Hellcat Division Championship held in her grasp. Ending the photo op, she jumps back down to the canvas and skips across to the other side of the ring, once again raising the championship up into the air. Her smile fades more than usual as she passes her championship off to the referee and backs into her turnbuckle, ready to get very serious for the upcoming contest.
JH: A somber look on the champion’s face tonight and I can’t say I blame her in the least.
The lights dim and that infamous decades old music plays over the sound system of the arena much to the dismay of most of the fans and to the delight of a few nerds. Swiftly the curtain is thrown back and Paper Bag Man steps out onto the stage, and holds the curtain open for the others. Next to step out onto the stage gains a thunderous jeers from the fans as Smarty Smark struts out and takes several bows to his adoring public. He then spins around on his heels and claps, pointing to the gigantic female that walks out from the back next with a snarl. Smarty produces a microphone from his back pocket, standing atop the entrance stage with the Amazon towering next to him.
Smarty Smark: Ladies and gentleman! Allow me to introduce to you the NEXT HELLCAT DIVISION CHAMPION… OF THE WWOOOOORRRLLLDD!! HEMBRA MONSTRUO!
The crowd’s booing is almost unnoticed from Smarty, who has a slimy grin on his face as he stares with glee at Hembra’s challenge in the ring. The trio walk down the walk way, Hembra in the lead as Smarty struts behind her and applauds her as PBM hangs behind shaking his head at his boss' antics. Smarty slaps PBM over the head and shoves him forward, PBM catches himself and hops up onto the apron before the other two. He stands up on the bottom rope and pushes down on the top rope so their monstrous client easily steps over it and Smarty tries to do the same only to fall face first. After brushing himself off, Smarty continues to applaud & hype up his client while she stands in her assigned corner and growls, lifting up her massive arms to jeers.
JH: Smarty Smark! You have got to be kidding me!
CM: Hembra Monstruo? Even it’s name doesn’t clarify that it’s really a woman!
CL: Not all women are Barbies, Chip. You’d do well to learn that.
JH: I just want to know how Smarty Smark has gained some kind of control of this monstrous woman. What? Was using Extreme Ninja #2 to steal the Cruiserweight Title from Jaime’s sister not enough for this man?
CM: Ha! I almost forgot about that. Speaking of Barbies. Haha!
While we’re on the topic of hot blondes… “Dare” by the Gorillaz hits the speakers, drawing the attention of everyone in the ring. To no one’s surprise, out steps the hellcat champion wannabe Roxie Galanoochie, flanked by the Men In Black. Actually, it’s not Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones. It looks more like hired thugs from Daisuke Tanaka. It looks like that because that’s what it is. Roxie stands with her hands on her hips, simply watching the hellcats in the ring.
DING-DING
Once Smarty and PBM are forced from the ring, Logan Black calls for the bell. Jaime immediately bursts out of her corner NAILING Hembra with a flying forearm that… barely budges the behemoth woman. Jaime’s eyes widen as Hembra glares down at the champ with a snarl on her face. Jaime immediately begins throwing right hands that are pretty much shrugged off. Last ditch effort comes when Jaime backs off the ropes… RIGHT INTO A BIG-TIME CLOTHESLINE FROM HEMBRA!
JH: And there is what I expect to be the tone for this match.
CL: Like I said, goodbye Hellcat Championship.
CM: I thought when Jaime beat Drake, men lost their chance at this title. Come on, I want to see Jaime vs. Roxie in a pudding match!
Hembra drags Jaime up by her brown locks, snapping her back over to the canvas with a snapmare, followed up with a hard kick to the spine! Hembra goes off the ropes BLASTING JAIME IN THE FACE WITH A THRUST KICK! Jaime barely has time to register what’s going on before Hembra leaps up onto the air and lands a hard knee drop!
JH: It’s almost like Hembra is toying with Jaime here.
CL: Wouldn’t you in the same position? Let’s face facts, Jaime is not in Hembra’s league here.
JH: I don’t agree with that statement at all.
CL: Look at the size difference!
CM: Size matters!
Hembra grabs another handful of Jaime’s hair, getting a stern warning from Logan Black that gets a glare from Hembra. I doubt Logan would even have the balls to DQ Hembra in this match. His warning, however, does distract Hembra long enough for Jaime to knock away Hembra’s hand and SMACK her upside the face with a wild right hand. Maybe it was the fire in Jaime or maybe Hembra was caught off guard but the blow actual knocks the Amazon back a couple steps. She immediately retaliates with a quick step across the ring and another powerful clothesline… that Jaime ducks! She hooks Hembra’s arm in the process and then reaches back SNAPPING HER DOWN TO THE CANVAS WITH A NECKBREAKER!
JH: A big time neckbreaker from Jaime! The first big move in the contest and I have to say I’m surprised it came from Jaime.
CL: I think everyone’s surprised. I didn’t expect to see Jaime take this woman down at all.
CM: She’s fought men before. This can’t be much different.
Jaime immediately rolls over into a cover but Hembra POWERS out of it! Jaime goes flying up in the air before landing back on the canvas with a look of surprise on her face as Hembra sits up. She cracks her neck and then climbs back to her feet. Jaime tries another right hand but Hembra comes back with a forearm strike that sends her backwards. Another one and another one backs Jaime towards the corner. Hembra nails a big open handed chop before whipping Jaime full force across the ring! Jaime slams back first into the turnbuckle and slumps down slightly from the impact. Like a train Hembra chugs across the ring at her full speed SLAMMING SHOULDER-FIRST INTO THE TURNBUCKLE AS JAIME DIVES ASIDE AT THE LAST SECOND!
JH: Jaime’s using her speed in her favor her tonight and that’s a good strategy thus far.
CM: Yeah but how long can you outrun Godzilla before he finally eats you?
Jaime grabs Hembra’s arm, wringing it before wrenching it down aggressively. Another aggressively wrench works that shoulder over even more before Jaime starts slugging away at Hembra’s shoulder! Hembra uses her other arm and shove Jaime away, but the hellcat keeps a vice hold on Hembra’s wrist, coming back with a shoulder tackle that almost gets a howl from the Amazon. Jaime’s luck runs to an end when Hembra snarls out in pain as she uses her sore shoulder to whip Jaime RIGHT OVER THE TOP ROPE!
JH: What’s it going to take to put this Hembra down? Even with obvious pain in that shoulder she still uses it like it’s nothing!
CL: I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that she likes the pain.
Luckily for Jaime she manages to hang onto the ropes and land on her feet on the apron. Hembra’s immediately on this, charging full-force at Jaime… who steps aside. She uses the ropes to throw her legs up around Hembra’s neck, choking the Amazon out! Using her leg strength Jaime pulls down with everything she has, flipping Hembra from the ring to the floor below! Jaime takes a moment to catch her breath while Hembra slowly pushes her large form upright. As soon as Jaime sees an opening she flies off the ring apron with a Lou Thesz Press… that Hembra catches! Hembra roars out her dominance as she charges Jaime RIGHT INTO THE RING POST!
JH: Jesus! Even Jaime’s highflying advantages doesn’t seem to be getting her far. Hembra is just too strong to take down!
CM: Where’s that little Ninja boy that could when you need him, huh?
Hembra’s grin almost matches Smarty’s as the Amazon drags Jaime up off the ground. With ease she lifts the champion up in a military position… or, at least you’d think it’d be with ease. But her shoulder comes into play and she drops Jaime before she can fully get her upright, clutching her shoulder with a grimace. Jaime manages to land on her feet, thanks to the apron helping her stay upright and buries a toe kick into Hembra’s stomach! Jaime pushes past Hembra, doing the unthinkable and snapping up a chair at ringside. Jaime yells out as she throws the chair as hard as she can right into Hembra’s injured shoulder!
CL: Horrorcore rules coming into play! It’s unusual to see Jaime initiate that.
JH: It’s unusual to see Jaime defending her title against someone as dominant as Hembra.
The Amazon continues to clutch her shoulder as she attempts to put some distance between herself and the hellcat of a champion. Smarty and PBM keep their distance but Smarty is more than vocal about his orders in Hembra to take Jaime out. The pain in Hembra’s arm is all it takes for the Amazon to know she has to get some space if she’s going to regain her control in this contest. But that doesn’t look luckily when Jaime grabs the steel chair back up and swings it full force into Hembra’s arm!
JH: You can see the fire in Jaime here now. She just got that title back and she has no intentions of letting Hembra take it in her first match here tonight.
CM: We all remember what little good man-made weapons did against Godzilla, don’t we? Or am I thinking of someone else? I don’t know, I’m not a sci-fi nerd!
Hembra continues her quest for distance but Jaime stays right on her, following the Amazon around the ring with hard chair shot to the shoulder after the other. The competitors make it to the entrance walkway when Hembra reaches out, blocking a chair shot attempt by swatting the chair out of Jaime’s hands! Jaime is barely fazed, throwing a toe kick into Hembra’s stomach, followed by a hard right hand!
CL: Jaime is definitely on fire here tonight. I’m surprised to see her actually have Hembra reeling here!
JH: I don’t like the fact they’re getting closer to Roxie and her goons. I don’t trust her one bit.
Jaime scoops up the chair once against and throws it seat-first into Hembra’s face! With an animalistic growl, Hembra turns her back on Jaime and seems to be throwing in the towel on this contest? It’s anyone’s guess but Hembra is marching up the walkway towards the stage. Just as Hembra reaches the steps, she gets some extra baggage in the forms of Jaime on her back! Jaime locks in a sleeper hold but Hembra actually continues up the steps with all of Jaime’s weight on her back!
JH: Look at the strength of this Amazonian Hembra! It’s like Jaime isn’t even on her!
Atop the entrance stage, Roxie and her goons actually back off and watch the ongoing battle between the champ and the challenger. Jaime rakes Hembra’s eyes as she drops down off her back. She grabs Hembra up in a headlock and runs her across the stage… getting thrown face first into a ReVoltron when Hembra shoves her off!
CL: Hembra still in this enough to counter a bulldog attempt from Jaime.
CM: Imagine if she had bulldogged Hembra into the concrete stage? It definitely would’ve been over.
Jaime shakes off the impact going right back at Hembra with whatever she can hit her with. Right hands, forearm strikes, elbow shots, toe kicks… Jaime is all over Roxie. With Hembra dazed and confused like a Mortal Kombat competitor right when you hear “FINISH HER!” Jaime does indeed that! She spins and NAILS A BACK ROUNDHOUSE THAT HEMBRA DUCKS!
JH: Hembra dodges the back roundhouse kick from Jaime!
Not only that, but the minute Jaime’s foot lands on the ground Hembra roars out and SPEARS JAIME RIGHT OFF THE STAGE!
JH: GOOD SWEET CHRIST!
CM: Hembra just took Jaime AND HERSELF off the stage!
Logan Black leaps down into the tech equipment mess that Jaime and Hembra both lay tangled up in. He quickly checks both competitors before waving his arms wildly and calling for help from the back. Officials and EMTs pour out to stage area, dividing up into who is going to check on who. Logan Black makes his way back up onto the stage, whispering something to Michael Anderson, who has made his way down.
MA: Ladies and gentleman, I have just been informed that neither competitor are able to continue and this match is A DRAW!!
The crowd boo and hiss at the outcome while the hellcats are continued to be checked on. But luckily for them, Roxie gives him a new reason to hiss and boo. She steps up to Logan Black, jerking the Hellcat Championship out of his hands! With a proud grin on her face, the blonde raises the championship up into the air to a… applause? From her goons, yes. Everyone else is booing the sight of Roxie holding the championship up like she won it.
JH: What the hell is Roxie doing? This match was a draw! Jaime retains as a result.
CM: You gotta admit, she looks good with that belt, Hitchen.
JH: I prefer Jaime with it, honestly.
Logan Black pleads and argues with Roxie, who eventually relinquishes the championship back to him with an aggravated look on her face. Smarty Smark finally makes his way up the walkway just as Extreme Ninja #2 rushes out from backstage. The former partners(?) meet at the foot of the stairs, Ninja glaring at Smarty (or at least I assume that’s the look he’s giving from behind his mask) as the former manager grins smugly at him. Ninja shoulder checks Smarty as she pushes past him and hurries over to the EMTs checking on Jaime.
CM: There’s the little Ninja boy that could!
JH: And we can’t forget the history between Ninja and Smarty. I’m surprised we didn’t see another match there just now.
Smarty makes his way over to the mess, yelling at the EMTs to help Hembra. Yet when they actually do try to put a precautionary neck brace on the Amazon, she surprisingly sits upright! The EMTs fall back in surprise, eyeing her warily as her snarling features focus on Jaime.
CM: Holy shit! Even that didn’t take her down?
JH: This woman is scary, folks!
Drawing away from all of the in-ring shenanigans, the scene opens elsewhere - a private dressing room, to be precise. All the standards are there; a large mirror surrounded by lights, a make-up table and a number of fancy costumes hanging on a rail at the far side of the room. Relatively standard showbiz stuff. Positioned next to the table is a large leather chair, with the back aimed toward the camera, preventing a view of the occupant.
Voice: "Just when you thought all the fun and games were gone, and it was safe to walk the streets, another cliché comes running around the corner to smack you in the face."
Slowly, the seat spins around to reveal Ash Koopa, looking slightly amused with jazz hands in full effect. Wearing red trousers and a purple t-shirt, the colours contrast painfully in the bright light of the dressing room. Though not quite as painful as his face, which is somewhat hidden beneath a thick layer of foundation, topped with an intense red lipstick that scrawls off to his ear on the left side and thick mascara that appears to have run, leaving black streaks down his cheeks.
Ash: "I'm coming back. The Ol' 'Maniac is coming back to Eff-Aye-Dubya for a new season this Winter. So tune in next week, boys and girls of the world, and I'll tell you why. I might even bring some candy too.."
That said, Ash throws his head back in mock laughter and gently spins the chair around, turning his back to the camera. He then throws his head forward and keeps it down, out of view. Then, the scene fades.
JH: We go from one match that went into total anarchy to one that may very well be just that too!
CL: Especially whether Grimace can compete again tonight is extremely questionable.
CM: What does that mean then?
JH: Well…I suppose it would mean it would need to be forfeited by the Revolution or maybe rescheduled.
CL: I prefer the forfeit option personally.
CM: I don’t know, Rice is decent.
JH: This entire concept has shown how even the tag teams in the division truly are with each other despite the Zaibatsu’s tactics.
CL: Don’t hate the playas, hate the game Bitchen.
CM: Straight, yo!
MA: Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is the scheduled main event for this edition of Friday Night ReVolt! It will be the third and final match of the FIW Tag Team Round Robin Challenge and has been granted a one hour time limit with one fall to a finish! Your official for this bout is the senior referee of Full Intensity Wrestling, Tony Clarke…and it is for the Full Intensity Wrestling Tag Team Championships of the World!
At first the arena is filled with the faint sound of chugging guitars. The music grows louder, building up into a faster more powerful rhythm. Lights begin to flash white and red as all attention turns to the entryway.
The two members of HARDCORE SEX appear at the entryway with Onikage, posing for the fans. Steve is his usual sullen, silent self, staring intently at the ring, preparing himself mentally for the upcoming match, fists clenched, jaw tight. Felix, on the other hand, totally hams it up, blowing kisses to the crowd, pumping his arms and flexing his muscles. FIW's Morning Star is smiling and waving to the fans along with Felix as a hand rests on Steve's shoulder to comfort his tortured soul.
As the duo make their way to the ring with their advisor, Steve walks forward with a determined pace, his breathing steadily increasing. Felix bounces like a kid with two much sugar, strutting to the music, pursing his lips and rubbing his nipples.
As they arrive at the ring, Felix hops on to the apron and raises the ropes for Steve like a wrestler would do for his valet. Steve ignores this and slides into the ring under the bottom rope. The leader of the Rejects staying at the ringside area and pacing around it, his eyes and smile focusing on his charges inside the ring.
Both men wait in the ring as their poppy rock theme fades out, Steve folding his arms and cracking his neck as Felix continues to work the crowd, shaking the ropes and dancing back and forth.
CL: Great, he’s now back with them.
CM: Hmm, freaks or dorks…man, this is a hard choice as to who I want to win.
JH: I’d personally take the dork-erm! Talented and honorable athletes over the so-called freaks!
As "Kick Yo' Ass" pounds through the arena speakers and red stage lights pulsing to the music, Grant Rice bursts onto the stage, hand in the air proudly presenting the Revolution's hand sign to a roar from the crowd as they jump to their feet on sight of the Kansas City native. He lowers his arm as he quickly pops his neck on his way down the aisle. He reaches the ring, hoping onto the apron before entering between the ropes. Once in the ring, Grant heads to the corner where he hops up once again proudly displaying The Revolution hand sign with one hand as he points to the logo on his jersey with the other, flashbulbs washing over him. He quickly slides his jersey off and chucks it into the crowd, watching the females in the crowd fight over it before hoping down, ready to go.
CM: Um…guys…where’s Nightmare?
JH: Grant Rice can’t be thinking of doing what I think he’s doing! If Nightmare is too hurt to wrestle he should just forfeit or hope that it’ll be rescheduled!
CL: Well, looks like he is doing what you think he is doing as he’s got all three title belts on.
MA: Introducing first the challengers, they are representing the Rejects and are accompanied by the FIW’s Morning Star, Onikage. They weigh in at a combined weight of two hundred and twenty pounds …HE! IS! FELIX ARROYO~!!! AND~! HE! IS! STEVE PATTERSON~!!! …and…THEY! ARE! HAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDCOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRE SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEXXXXXXXXXXXXX~!!!
The fans politely applaud the Rejects who glare across the ring at Rice, both of them looking rough after the events of earlier. Felix even doesn’t bother to play up to the crowd as they continues to stretch and look like they are doing their best Kiyoshi impressions.
MA: Introducing the champions…uh…champion, he represents the Revolution and weighs in at two hundred and forty eight pounds…He is your reigning Full Intensity Wrestling Undisputed International Champion and one half of the Full Intensity Wrestling Tag Team Champions of the World…HE! IS! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNT RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCE~!!!
With a deep breath Grant Rice throws his fist with the UIC in it into the air to applause & cheers from the fans for his guts. Slowly he unhooks the two tag team championships from around his waist as he remains focused on the challengers & hands the belts over to Clarke.
DING DING DING~!!!
Tony looks on in surprise when both members of Hardcore Sex rush forward and nail a double team lariat on Rice that knocks him off of his feet. Immediately they start stomping the man that is one half of the current champions and are going berserk on him without a regard! Face, neck, shoulders, arms, midsections and every where else they can land their feet on they strike as Grant tries to bring his arms up to cover & shield himself. Onikage roars out an order in Japanese and the two men stop stomping on the champion to start to pull him back up onto his feet as Clarke tries to get control again.
JH: Hardcore Sex have had to sit back there nearly the entire night after such a crushing loss and it’s clear they are ready to redeem themselves!
CL: Meh…
CM: Still haven’t decided which is the lesser evil yet…
It is the Emo half of Hardcore Sex that places the champion on his knee and holds him there as the Homosexual half races towards the ropes. He springs off of them and comes back to the other two only to leap up and spin around in midair to hit a butt bump straight to the face of Rice! Arroyo wastes no time getting up onto Grant and locks him into a camel clutch which allows Patterson to hit the ropes like his partner & hits a dropkick to the face of Grant! Steve zips at Felix who helps him kick off and nail a somersault moonsault on the Revo member and then right after hits a standing senton splash on him too!
CL: Damn, those idiots are demolishing Grant!
CM: Love for crazy stuff leaning towards the freaks…
JH: Hardcore Sex better be careful or they might get disqualified!
Despite Hitchen’s concern, Clarke has seemingly given up on trying maintaining order and is just letting the two Rejects and the champion go at it. Even with all the abuse he took Rice starts to push up off of the ground and tries to get back up to his feet and Hardcore Sex ends that with a stereo elbow drop! Felix locks in a double armed chicken wing with a bridge which leaves Grant wide open for a standing shooting star press from Steve Patterson! The duo roll the Revo member over and dog pile him for the cover as Tony drops down to make the count while the fans applaud.
CM: Yup, the freaks are the ones I’m rooting for!
JH: I don’t normally say this but…please…Grant…stay down for your own good.
[align=center]1![/align]
CL: I’ll repeat myself, meh.
CM: Their flips are cool even if they are freaks!
TW-NO! KICK OUT!
JH: Grant…
CL: Guy isn’t going down easily.
Both Hardcore Sex members look like a mixture of silent rage and amazement that isn’t it and instantly start to bring the Revo member back up to his feet. Unluckily for them Grant fires two elbows straight to their midsections to get them to double over slightly as they grab their guts. Japan’s fans cheer and applaud Rice and their support builds up the fire in him more and more as he launches elbow strike after elbow strike onto Hardcore Sex! Every one lands and sends the Rejects reeling much to the disapproval of their advisor and leader out on the outside of the ring who watches on.
JH: He just won’t die! He’s fighting back!
CL: …Yawn…
CM: No! Come on flipping freaks!
With Hardcore Sex on wobble legs in the center of the ring Grant runs at the ropes behind him and bounces off of them, and comes running back at them. Misfortune strikes for the Revo member because Felix and Steve throw up a collective double knee lift straight into his midsection to derail his plan! Throwing an arm each over their necks, they both wrap a arm each around his and grab some pants to double snap suplex him almost out of his timberlands! Impressively they roll over completely and yank him back up with them without releasing the set-up and perform a second double snap suplex on him!
CL: Joy…
CM: That’s more like it!
JH: Oh! Grant was so close!
Amazingly Rice rolls up onto his knees and starts trying to get back up to his feet with his aching body as Hardcore Sex get up to their feet and notice him. Patterson throws a punch to knock him down…except the tag champion stays on his knees and absorbs the blow to try, and continue to get up! Felix throws a punch too and it doesn’t faze Grant and neither does Steve’s second punch that like the two before it try to knock Grant down! Revo’s healthy half glares up at them and actually challenges them to try and stop him, and they start delivering a flurry of punches at the same time onto him!
CM: Don’t bother with this nonsense!
JH: Grant Rice isn’t leaving his knees! He refuses to fall!
CL: Wonderful…
Third and fourth, fifth, and sixth and seventh, and so on of punches rain down and connect with the cranium of the champion who keeps still. In fact, the Revo member starts to get up onto his feet and does that very thing though their punches leave him a little shaky. The next pair of punches he blocks with his arms and snaps his head forward hastily twice to head butt both of the Rejects as hard as he can! He doesn’t let them get too far away, Grant goes up to them when they get far enough away and takes them both down with a flying double lariat!
JH: Grant is recovering!
CL: Is this over ye-
CM: Shush.
Kipping up to his feet, Steve races at his foe only to get a belly to belly suplex for his troubles that almost sends him out of the ring it sends him so far! Likewise when Felix gets to his feet he gets the pleasure of feeling a fisherman suplex from the champion to applause and cheers from the fans in attendance. Before he can get up fully, the Revo member hooks Patterson’s arms and nails a perfect butterfly suplex on the Emo Kid to more applause & cheers! Grant pumps his fists into the air to play up to the crowd and waits eagerly for one of his opponents to get back up to their feet as Onikage roars at them!
CL: Can’t the sheep fucker try to be more quiet?
CM: …Maybe?
JH: Lord! It looks like we have a suplex bargain sale going on!
Similar to what he did to Steve; Rice snatches up the Fierce One before he can fully get to his feet and takes him right off of them with a sleep walker suplex! It’s several seconds till either of the Hardcore Sex members get back up to their feet again and it starts to show on the tag champion in the ring with them. Adrenaline wearing thin, Grant is a little sluggish in his charge towards Patterson when he gets to his feet and Grant goes up behind him & wraps a rear waist lock in! Just when he’s about to toss him into another suplex the Emo Kid gives him a elbow right to the face several times over & gets the hold broken!
CM: He was trying for that german but the freak saved him!
JH: No more bodies being tossed around the ring it would seem.
CL: Such a shame…
In a stagger the tag champion finds the ropes and leans into them which prompts Patterson to dash at him only to get tossed up and over in a backdrop! Incredibly the Reject lands on his feet on the apron and clubs Rice with a forearm strike that sends him stumbling away from the ropes. He walks right into Felix’s welcoming arms who give him an embrace in the form of an introverted lung blower that drives Felix’s knees into his chest! Back on the right page, Arroyo rolls away quickly as the Emo Kid sling shots back into the ring with a complete three hundred & sixty degree leg drop to the throat!
JH: Darn! After coming so close to making a come back!
CL: Aren’t you going to say he’s not out yet though or some thing cliché’ like that?
CM: Alright! The freaks are back in the driver’s seat!
The duo gets back up to their feet and gives the Revo member a few more stomps to the head and neck with their anger showing through again. After a quick discussion between the two Arroyo wraps his arms around Rice’s waist from behind in a rear waist lost and uses it to hoist him slowly back up onto his feet on a vertical base. While Patterson goes over to the near-by corner and scales up it as hastily as he can get his body to move at this point with the punishment it’s taken. Seeing what’s in his future, Grant tries to fight out of it with elbows to Felix’s face though in the end tastes the dropkick & german suplex combination & a dog pile cover again!
CL: Oh look, the Happy Ending.
CM: Yay!
1!
JH: Grant Rice put up a valiant effort but I think this may be it…
CL: No shit, ya think?
2!
CM: This has been insane! This has been the most titles changes we’ve seen by the tag titles in the shortest amount of time!
JH: I believe you may be right, Chip!
3~!!!
DING DING DING~!!!
CL: New champs…AGAIN.
CM: Well, the better team or guys won.
MA: Your winners by pin fall and your NEW Full Intensity Wrestling Tag Team Champions of the World…THEY! ARE! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRDCOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRE SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEXXXX~!!!
Cobra Starship starts playing again, and Felix and Steve sigh in relief and look far more relaxed now that they’ve done it. The fans applaud all three men’s efforts as Tony presents Hardcore Sex with the championships that are theirs to call their own again tonight. Onikage slides into the ring and aids his charges in getting up to their feet and they fight to stay up as they move over to the near corners & hop up onto them. FIW’s Morning Star stands in the center as on each corner Felix and Steve hold their championships over their heads.
CM: This night has been nuts!
JH: That it has Chip, a lot of unpredictable and questionable happenings. What has gotten into Tier? What is going on with the Dual Crown title situation? Who truly is the most dominant force in the tag team division? When will Ethan cash in his title shot? Will Prime ever get his hands on Crackerjack? Will things be peaceful still between Cracker and Kiyoshi in the Reject camp after tonight? And, what will happen between Hembra and Jaime, let alone Roxie?! A-
CL: Hitchen, shut the fuck up, we’re all out of time because of your annoying rambles. They’re Chip and Hitchen, I’m Constance, we’ll see you next week…you wouldn’t FUCKING DARE miss it!
Who'd-a thunk?
Sittin' drunk
On a wagon to Mexico
Her hair, what a chump
And my head
Got a bump
When I hit it on the radio
Red-head señorita
Lookin' dead
Came to said,
"I need a bed" en español
gimme a drink a water
I'm gonna sing around the collar
Well, I don't need a microphone
Icky thump, with a lump
In my throat
Grabbed my coat
And now it's reckon
I was ready to go
Yeah, I swam beside the hair
She had one white eye
One blank stare
Lookin' up, lyin' there
On a stand in her hair
Was a candy cane
Black rum, sugar cane
Dry ice, somethin' strange!
La la, la la la la la la la la la laaa laaa laaa
White Americans, what?
Nothing better to do?
Why don't you kick yourself out?
You're an immigrant too!
Who's usin' who?
What should we do?
Well you can't be a pimp
And a prostitute too
Icky thump, handcuffed to a bunk
Robbed blind
Looked around
And there was nobody else
Left alone
I hit myself with a stone
Went home
And learned how to clean up after myself
JH: “Welcome everyone to Holiday Hangover 2008. We have quite the show for you to bring in the New Year!”
CL: “In fact we do. A battle royal will take place with Dual Crown contendership on the line…..”
The house lights dim and slowly a set of frosted glass doors are lowered over the wrestlers entrance as a tuxedo clad man makes his way onto the concrete stage with microphone in hand. Suddenly bright white lights kick up behind the doors only to reveal the man on the stage further. He pulls the microphone to his lips as Ladies and Gentlemen by Saliva begins to play over the PA system. The man begins to speak over the opening lyrics of the song.
CM: “Speaking of contenders.”
As the crowd fixes their attention on the man a silhouette appears in the light and the man continues to speak over the lyrics of the song.
Man: “For a feast for your eyes to see. An explosion of catastrophe.”
At the base of the stairs leading to the isle to the ring, a massive white explosion bursts out startling the crowd. The man again continues to speak over the song as he moves in putting a hand on the door handle covering the entrance.
JH: “What is he doing out here? This is not scheduled! The timing of the show will be all screwy now.”
Ethan steps slowly out toward the steps and explosions erupt from the ring cascading to the steps. Unlike many other times Ethan is not wearing his robe but only the Grand Prix Tournament belt and just as the final explosion bursts in front of him he rips the belt from around his waist and hoists it high above his head. Ethan then tosses the belt over his shoulder and begins make his decent down the steps and slaps hands as he makes his way to the ring.
CM: “He is the winner of the 2007 Grand Prix Tournament. Why else do you think he’s out here?”
Boom
Do you want it?
Boom
Do you need it?
Boom
Let me hear it
Ladies and gentlemen
As Ethan approaches the ring several flash bulbs light up his muscular body as ringside fans snap photos. He then turns to the edge of the ring and leaps up onto the ring apron catching himself with the top ropes. As he stands upon the apron he calls for the ring mic and the house lights come up. He then catapults himself in the ring ensuring the safety of his Grand Prix Tournament belt that remains slung over his shoulder.
JH: “I have no problem with Ethan being out here. As a matter of fact I think he deserves some microphone time. He should just schedule his time like everyone else.”
CM: “We are talking about Ethan Adams. He probably thought he was entitled to time.”
Once in the ring Ethan pulls the belt back down around his waist and fastens it tightly around his waist once more. He then checks to make sure the microphone is on and then gives it a light tap with an echoing thump sound over the PA system. He then brings the microphone to his lips and prepares himself to speak.
Ethan: ”Every day for the week, people have asked me the same question….”
Ethan points out to the crowd and spots a man about three rows back. He points to the man and mouths something to him. The man does not understand what he says so he brings the microphone back to his mouth and says it for all to hear.
Ethan: ”I said I’m pretty sure even you asked me.”
The guy nods and says something back that is inaudible and it remains that way because those at FIW aren’t keen on giving their fans microphone time. Either that or Ethan was too selfish to share. Either way we can’t hear the fan.
Ethan: ”The question at hand each and every fucking time is the same. It never changes. This is all people care about!”
Ethan rolls his eyes and shrugs his shoulders before continuing on.
Ethan: ”Can you really blame them?”
JH: “Oh please. He’s let this whole thing go to his head.”
CM: “Since when has ETHAN ADAMS not let something go to his head. I think the man is a walking ego.”
CL: “Don’t even start with that again.”
CM: “Start with what?”
CL: “You know what.”
CM: “What I’m just saying his name…ETH….”
CL: “Don’t!”
Ethan: ”When is ETHAN ADAMS going to cash in his Dual Crown championship title shot?”
Ethan poses for the crowd and rubs his forearm over the face plate of the championship belt and smiles cockily for all to see.
Ethan: ”This is the question on each and every one of your minds. Though in response….I have a question for all of you.”
Adams takes a pause and looks out to the crowd from all angles before posing his question.
Ethan: ”Does ETHAN ADAMS really need to cash in his Grand Prix Championship?”
Again Ethan goes about polishing or adjusting his belt as he allows the crowd a moment to ponder the question at hand.
JH: “He is so hungry for a championship he’ll probably waste it right off.”
Ethan: ”The answer to that question is….NO! After tonight ETHAN ADAMS will not have to utilize his Grand Prix Championship.”
The High Spot Sensation steps over to the ropes and leans toward the aisle way in which he entered and continues to speak to the crowd during the opening moments of the show.
Ethan: ”After a my victory in the Hardcore Hangover Battle Royal. I will have secured the title shot I have longed for without having to play the ACE in my pocket.”
Ethan slaps his hand on his belt and smiles while taking a couple steps back from the ropes and allowing his muscles to ripple.
Ethan: ”Though there is only one snag to my contendership victory tonight in the battle royal. That Dual Crown shot will come at management’s discretion. A fact I am not too fond of if I am to be honest.”
Ethan makes a u-turn as talking and heads back toward the middle of the ring so that he no longer has his back to the majority of the crowd.
Ethan: ”So I guess I can sum up the answer to all of your questions like this…..”
Ethan turns in place looking to all the fans on each side of the ring giving a nod and a smile.
Ethan: ”I could use it tonight. I could use it next week. I can make you all wait in anticipation for months before I use it.”
Ethan cranks his neck to one side cracking it and then straightens it back out as he allows his pectorals to jump up and down once more.
Ethan: ”The point is….I will use it when ETHAN ADAMS is damn well ready to be your next DUAL CROWN CHAMPION!!!”
With that Ethan tosses the microphone down into the ring and his music picks back up as he prepares to leave the ring.
CM: “When did he say he was going to use it?”
CL: “He didn’t.”
JH: “Let the games begin. I’m sure Ethan is going to enjoy stringing us all along as he decides when to use that title shot.”
Ethan bounds over the ropes and onto the ring apron. He then jumps down to the arena floor and begins to head back up the aisle toward backstage. He slaps the hands of fans as he reaches the stage where he turns back toward the ring giving the belt one last slap before disappearing backstage yet again.
MA: Ladies and Gentlemen, the first match of the evening is a “Welcome back to FIW” match, scheduled for one fall with a fifteen minute time limit. Introducing first, the man with the worst record in the history of FIW, The one, the only… DRAGOOOOON-AH!
The lights go dim as "Headstrong" by Trapt begins to play throughout the arena, red strobe lights then begin to flash, rotate, and light up the stage and gold pyro begins to shower down to the left and right of The Dragon as he appears on stage. With his head down and standing there for a few second, he then looks up and begins to confidently walk his way down to the ring. As The Dragon makes his way to the ring he pauses infront of the stairs and looks out into the crowd before running up the stairs and into the ring. The Dragon then makes his way to the left turnbuckle, climbs up it, and lifts both arms in the air and flexes his chest and arm muscles as he pauses for a few seconds and then climbs back down in anticipation of the beginning of the match.
CL: Christ, this sucker really can’t take a hint, can he? I mean, when you only get dragged out when there’s some new chump out to prove himself, or when someone like Tier comes back, you’d begin to work it out, wouldn’tcha? Jesus…
CM: Hey, don’t complain Constance. It’s not often we get to see a good ol’ one sided beatdown in the FIW ring, and knowing what Tier’s like, we might just get to see it tonight.
Dragon paces the ring, bizarrely confident for a man who hasn’t won a match in a very, very long time.
MA: And, his opponent, making his return to the FIW ring toni…
The announcement is cut short by a large commotion at the back of one of the crowd areas – people running and moving out of the way, cheering and jeering.
CL: What in the hell’s going on over there? Someone get a camera there, now!
After a second or two of black, a shot suddenly appears of a tall, imposing man, with dreadlocks protruding violently from his the gasmask which covers his face, wrapped in an imposing black trenchcoat.
Tier has arrived.
He is carrying a black steel chair, and is ignoring the crowd’s screams and attempts to touch or high-five him as he paces methodically towards the ring, where Dragon is now looking a tad concerned.
JH: What’s Tier going to do with that chair?
CM: I hope to god he isn’t just gonna sit on it, I can tell you that much!
CL: If I was Dragon, I’d be cursing the day his mother got drunk at that college frat party.
CM: Wow, so you and him could be brothers, then?
As Tier hops over the security railing that separates the crowd from the ringside area, Dragon watches cautiously.
The masked man climbs the ring steps, with chair still in hand, and ducks between the second and third ropes. Referee Richard Kelly tries to take the chair from him, but instead narrowly misses having his head taken clean off his shoulders. As the hapless official slides out of the ring, Dragon seriously begins to realise that today just might not be his lucky day.
KRAKK!!
And as the chair ricochets off his skull and the world gets dimmer, he decides that staying in bed might have been a better option today.
JH: MY GOD! Dragon just crumpled underneath the weight of that shot!
CM: Ouch! That’s gotta be one of the best chair – cranium interfaces I’ve ever seen! It looked like Tier was trying to hammer Dragon into the canvas like a tack!
CL: Yeah, and he never was the sharpest one in the box.
Tier continues to rain blows down on the skull of the barely-conscious Dragon, who can’t even raise his arms in self defence anymore.
JH: That last shot drew blood! Is that a cut or some sort of internal haemorrhaging?
CM: Who cares? There’s not enough blood in this stinkin’ federation!
CL: By the looks of it, there isn’t a whole lot left in Dragon either! Tier’s now stopped the beating, but what’s he doing? He seems to be measuring Dragon up for something.
Tier drops the chair, and quickly drops Dragon into a figure-four leglock
CM: *Yawns* Oh look everyone, it’s The Immortal Eternal Flair.
As Chip finishes saying the above, Tier stretches over to the chair laid next to him, and begins savagely driving the chair into his opponent’s knees.
CM: *Distinctly Flair-like* Woooo! Now that’s the kind of submission I like!
CL: It’s called I CAN’T FEEL MY LEGS!!!, and with damn good reason too.
JH: I can’t believe you two can sit here and watch this.
DING!!
DING!!
DA-DING-DING DING!
CM: Why’s Kelly calling for the bell? The damned match never even started!
JH: Well fingers crossed he can bring some sort of order back to this shambles of an athletic contest!
Kelly steps back into the ring, prising Tier off of the limp, helpless Dragon.
Big mistake.
Big, massive, huge, galaxy-sized mistake.
The official pitches violently sideways as he is hit just above his right ear with a very misshapen steel folding chair, before adopting a very similar posture to Dragon on the crimson flecked canvas.
Tier stands, center ring, holding the chair aloft in celebration.
JH: I don’t understand this man. Not one jot.
CL: Nor me. I’ll admit, putting a referee out may be somewhat excessive, but Tier’s certainly made an impact with his return.
CM: Yeah, all over Dragon’s face! The beating that Tier gave him, he might not even be patched up ready for the next time someone needs an easy win!
After an exciting contest between Tier and... somebody, we cue to the locker room where we find The Man in Black, Jim O'Brien lacing up his boots. But it isn't long before we hear the slamming of a door, cuing Jim to look up only to see Daisuke "The Crow" Tanaka and Mr. Blond. And believe me, they don't look to be in the highest of spirits.
Mr. The Crow: Mr. O'Brien, it appears that we need to talk...
O'Brien: *confused* "We do?"
Unimpressed by the dumb act, Daisuke manages a weak cough before continuing.
Mr. The Crow: Yes, Mr. O'Brien, we do. It appears that with your return, you have brought with you some kind of bright new outlook on life, and have seen fit to prosecute your own personal vendetta against my operation.
O'Brien: "A vendetta? With your clique? That's news to me."
Mr. Blond: Wey-ull, y'all jus' ain't been consid'rin tha con-seh-kwence'sa y'ac-shuns; has ya? Aftah all, Ah heard ya din't have too many polite things ta say ta us a few days ago, no? In fact, i' sorta looked ta me lahka yew were makin' it ya business ta take cert'n people out'a tha Condemned Fetish Match.
Mr. The Crow: And it would be remiss of me to fail to mention the amount of make-up Miss Galanoochie now needs for her eye...
Mr. Blond: Thanks in naw small way t'a certain some'ne who Ah jus' don'...
Having heard enough, Jim rises to his feet, looming over Mr. Blond and cutting him off. His confusion replaced with strictness.
O'Brien: "I think you two are making something out of nothing here. Anything that's happened... They're a matter of circumstance. Coincidences. I have no beef with your gang and you should consider yourselves lucky that I don't, especially after what went down at the Grand Prix last week."
Mr. The Crow: Is that a fact? Well, Mr. O'Brien, I hope you appreciate that it does not look that way to me.
O'Brien: "Really? Well, the next time you or any of your lackeys get in my way, Daisuke, I'll see to it that they do regret it."
The Crow rolls his eyes and straightens up from the door frame as Mr. Blond opens it.
Mr. The Crow: I see. Well, Mr. O'Brien, neither I nor my associates take very kindly to threats...
Mr. Blond: An' ya'd please forgi'us if we mi'jus' take tha' as a threat, ya dig? An' if there's any kinda 'sc-lay-shun'a this, then we's gon' be takin' steps, ya hear?
Safe that the point has been made, Mr. Blond shuts the door; Mr. Tanaka having been quie happy to let him finish the sentence…
MA: It is now time for the HARDCORE BATTLE ROYALE! To be eliminated you must be put over the top rope and both feet must touch the floor. The last competitor remaining will receive a shot at the DUAL CROWN CHAMPIONSHIP!
The camera pans around the ringside area. Several weapons are tied to the rings ropes, others lay about the canvas. Most noticeably in one corner is a stack of trash cans. Outside the ring there are, in several states of being set-up, numerous tables.
The Drake Love entrance video begins to roll on the Global-Tron as AFI's Prelude 12-21 begins to blare over the PA system. Drake steps out onto the entranceway wearing his custom cloak. It is jet black and the tail drapes all the way to the top of his boots. It has a simple hood which is pulled up as Drake steps out onto the entranceway. Drake hangs his head down low and stands still on the stage.
MA: Making his way to the ring, DRAKE LOVE!
Drake shoots out his left arm sending a spray of pyros rippling down his left side. Drake keeps the left arm extended before shooting out his right arm which also ignites a stream of pyros exploding in a line. Drake then raises both arms high into the air and pyros erupt from both sides, this time all at once instead of the streams as before. Drake flips off the hood and proceeds down the ramp. Drake ignores the fans on his way down but instead stays focused on the ring and his task ahead.
The super-funky ZZ Top-covered riff which, in the hands of Jun Kimura still sounds awesome, strikes up heralding the arrival of FIW's very own "Sharp Dressed Man" as the lights dim to allow spotlights to shine on the entrance cage, which as we speak is filling up with dry ice smoke.
'Cause Every Girl's Crazy Bout a Sharp Dressed Man!
The chorus ends, with three blasts of pyro in time with those last three words, clearing the smoke away to reveal a young man wondering what kind of hell the CO [size0]2 has played with his bleached blond hair, and he stops at the top for the ramp to fix his quiff with a comb he already had in his hands. Eventually, he's satisfied with the results and he confidently struts towards the ring.
MA: Coming down the aisle, MR. BLOND!
JH: We’re wasting no time here tonight with the next being announced as soon as the previous wrestler gets halfway down the ramp!
Sexy guitars blast attitudinal rock with bassy power while the entire arena is lit up by a rage of multi-coloured strobe lights. The Great White Hype bursts through the chain-link gate and throws his hands high above his head much to the displeasure of everyone in attendance, minus maybe a few true backyard marks. While still on stage, Adam starts to jam along with his theme music on his air-guitar, complete with pelvic thrusts and a power stance. Adam then stage dives over the steps and lands in the aisle in another power stance. The Hype rocks out mad air-chords, passing the head of his air-guitar over the crowd as though it were the barrel of a machine gun while rapid-fire pyros spark in the background ala Batista.
MA: Now, ADAM ‘THE GREAT WHITE HYPE’ WILSON!
With the smoke settling, The Hype starts to strut down the aisle, blowing off jeering fans left and right. The entrance turns a shade of blue as "Frankenstein" by the Edgar Winter Group begins to sound throughout the arena. Lara Toni bounds out of the gateway onto the stage and raises her arms above her head. Lara skips down the steps.
MA: Making her way to the ring, LARA TONI!
Lara begins slapping the hands of the fans in the front row as she makes her way down the ramp.
Work it, Make It, Do It, Makes Us,
HARDER
BETTER
FASTER
STRONGER!
The arena lights dim. Several different coloured disco/club-style lights project different shapes onto the members of the crowd. They weave their way around the eager wrestling fans, as two of the lights form a white spot at the entrance. From the back, Liam steps out into the spot, head down at his feet but his body facing towards the crowd.
MA: And, LIAM MORTELL!
CM: What a pansy, he’s wearing a freaking t-shirt.
After a few moments Liam looks up and around at the crowd, with a beaming smile before heading down the steps and walking down the aisle towards the ring. As the music starts white flashing lights pan from left to right alternatively to the riff.
“I’m not asking for much” appears on the screen. “I’m not asking for anything” scrolls across the screen the music gets loader and just as the song kicks in Jay Bain walks into sight through the curtains. Hundreds of white lasers spiral down on Jay Bain and then randomly scan across the fans.
MA: At the entranceway, JAY BAIN!
Bain psyched up waves his hands up and down beckoning the crowd to be loud and stand up as in to share this moment, he then paces to the ring with his head down displaying an excited look upon his face and slapping extended hands from the crowd.
A low feedback buzzes through the speakers before 'Up Here' crashes into the system, bringing the crowd to their feet as Kennedy steps through the curtain. She moves to the end of the stage, rebounding slightly and raising both arms into the air, gazing out at the fans in attendance. She makes her way towards the ring, stopping halfway to acknowledge the crowd‘s reaction for her.
MA: Making her way to the ring, KEEEENNNNNEEEDDDYYYY!
It's coming up
It's coming up
It's coming up
It's coming up
It's DARE
It's DARE
This quick introduction can only mean one things as Roxie Galanoochie takes to the stage. Forgoing the pleasantries of a dance, Roxie walks down the stairs and starts off towards the ring. Blue and white strobes enshrine her as she ignores all calls from the fans whether they are the verbal cat call or the extended hand for a hand slap. Such unpleasant actions seems funny to her as she smiles.
MA: Coming down the aisle, ROXIE GALANOOCHIE!
The opening keyboards of "Perfect Strangers" slice through the PA like a knife, immediately grabbing the F.I.W. crowd's attention. And with two chimes of the cymbals, the heavy guitars kick in, goring the fan's eardrums like a rhino. The fans then rise to their feet as Bruce Dickinson's vocals screech over the PA as Jim O'Brien makes his way to the stage from behind the curtain.
MA: The Monster of FIW, JIM O’BRIEN!
O'Brien gives a cold, deathly stare towards his opponents, then begins his descent to the ring. He walks on down the aisle, the fans cheering the multiple time - multiple champion. Jim remains indifferent, cold even.
The house lights dim and slowly a set of frosted glass doors are lowered over the wrestlers entrance as a tuxedo clad man makes his way onto the concrete stage with microphone in hand. Suddenly bright white lights kick up behind the doors only to reveal the man on the stage further. He pulls the microphone to his lips as Ladies and Gentlemen by Saliva begins to play over the PA system. The man begins to speak over the opening lyrics of the song.
Man: Ladies and gentlemen please…Would you bring your attention to me?
As the crowd fixes their attention on the man a silhouette appears in the light and the man continues to speak over the lyrics of the song.
Man: For a feast for your eyes to see. An explosion of catastrophe.
At the base of the stairs leading to the isle to the ring, a massive white explosion bursts out startling the crowd. The man again continues to speak over the song as he moves in putting a hand on the door handle covering the entrance.
Man: Like nothing you’ve ever seen before. Watch closely as I open this door. Your jaws will be on the floor. After this you’ll be begging for more.
The man then pulls both doors open and the lights behind the glass dim down as two large spot lights focus in on the entrance and he quickly exits the stage as Ethan Adams clad in his entrance robe is revealed. The superstar steps out onto the concrete stage holding his arms out to his side as the song kicks in.
MA: At this time, the winner of the Grand Prix, EEEETHAN AAAAAAAADAMS!
Ethan steps slowly out toward the steps and explosions erupt from the ring cascading to the steps as he tears his robe off and throws it into the crowd with a thunderous approval from the crowd. One lucky fan sitting isle side grabs the robe as Ethan makes his decent down the steps and slaps hands as he makes his way to the ring.
The arena plunges into darkness as "O Fortuna" gongs in and rings out all around the arena. All attention, cinemagraphically speaking, is drawn to the ReVoltrons which both present a video that puts Prime in a masterpiece light. In this video package he poses in and out of shadows, flexing in flickers of white light and then the choir culminates into the final chord…
YEAAAA!
Saliva's "I Walk Alone" rocks the PA as the afore mentioned darkness now gives way to a spectacular and celestial light show. Prime walks out onto the stage with his head hung. Standing before the capacity crowd, Prime reels back and pops off a shouting Triple H pose into the Randy Orton “Legend Killer” pose but modified into more of a flex and grin. A machine gun pyro effect fires all around Prime through the chain link fencing as he holds his pose. The pyro smoke intentionally consumes his body and he soon burst through the smoke all pumped up, shouting, and ready to go.
MA: This…is…PRIIIIIIIIIME!
He makes his way confidently to the ring.
The beat starts in and the lights begin to flash on and off in time with it, illuminating a figure moving through thick fog, cloaked heavily in a hooded coat and gas mask. He strolls darkly down the aisle, not looking at the fans or his opponents; only on his destination.
MA: Making his way to the ring, TIIIIIIEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR!
Tier climbs the steps and walks along the apron. He casts a dramatic backward glance at the audience before entering the ring. Tier removes his coat and hands it to the referee, letting his scarred body glitter in the flashing light as Angelspit's remix of KMFDM's Tohuvabohu dies down. The whole arena stands in anticipation. The wrestlers are looking round at each other, waiting for the bell to ring. But it doesn’t.
CL: What the hell are we waiting for?! I want hardcore damn it. I want to see Tier fuck every single person in that ring up.
JH: I believe we’re still waiting for T-Bird, that is if she is even still a part of this company…
"Bleed it out" by Linkin Park hits the PA system. The camera focuses on the Tron viewing the bright golden lights that soon flash to a black griffin. Pulling out as the lyrics start out the Winged Feline comes from the back bouncing the music. Suddenly she sprints towards the ring, sliding in as quick as a flash.
DING! DING! DING!
She continues running, right at Jay Bain who, thinking fast grabs her and Belly-to-belly suplexes her right over the ropes, out of ring, through a table, and out of the match.
MA: T-BIRD has been ELIMINATED!
For a moment everyone looks on incredulously, and then all hell breaks loose. Liam goes straight after Ethan, Drake after Wilson, Blond and Jay pair off, leaving Jim facing the man-mountain Prime and the three ladies to fight amongst themselves. It is chaos in the ring, with every man (or woman) fending for themselves. Not much wrestling is going on, only brawling; everyone trading punch for punch and elbow for elbow. The only competitor not involved is Tier, who is watching everything going on.
CM: Not doing much fucking-up, is he? Hmm? Why is your precious Tier waiting?
Tier turns towards the ropes, were a chair is tied with a piece of (normal) rope. He inspects it briefly then tears it loose. Wielding it, he advances on Mr. Blond and Jay who are swiftly dealt with crushing blows. Liam turns from his momentary advantage over Ethan to receive a brutal shot to the face. Prime, too, receives a hard shot to the back, furthering Jim’s chances. Tier quickly approaches the women, and swings the weapon back to attack the nearest one, when he is BLASTED in the back of the head by a GP-title-holding Ethan Adams. Tier has no time to recover, and is quickly bundled over the top rope, his last minute attempt to grab the ropes is fruitless as his feet have both hit the floor.
CL: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…
MA: TIER has been ELIMINATED!
CL: …OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOU BASTARD, ETHAN ADAMS! YOU BASTARD!
Meanwhile, Kennedy is taking full control of both women. Teaching them how a true female wrestler handles herself in the ring. Lara gets taken down by a short-range spear and Roxie falls victim to a stiff powerbomb. The Japanese crowd applaud the strength, and applaud her again when she whips a celebrating Ethan Adams down to the canvas.
JH: HurraKennedy!
CM: I bet Ethan loved her crotch being in his face, even if he did get ‘HurraKennedy’d’. I know I would! Hur-hur.
JH: Chip! Please!
In the centre of the ring Jim is battling it out with Prime. The two are trading blow for blow, barely managing to even rock each other slightly. Prime swings back for a larger blow, but Jim ducks it and locks in a Katahajime then suplexes Prime down to the canvas with a very large bang.
CM: FUCK ME!
JH: Hellsplex on Prime! And now he’s got the Hell’s Bells locked in tight. This is really going to wear Prime down.
CL: This hardcore battle royale is seriously lacking in hardcore.
JH: I don’t see any problem with that, if these wrestlers want to do it the traditional way that is fine by me.
In another corner of the ring, Mr. Blond, Drake Love & Adam Wilson are desperately trying to eliminate Jay Bain but are struggling as he has managed to tangle himself in the ropes to avoid being thrown out. Help is not too far away though as Liam breaks it up, clubbing and kicking to get them off Jay. He whips Adam Wilson into the ropes and on the rebound catches him with a massive...
CL: SPINEBUUUUUUSSSSSSTTTTAAAAAAH!
Drake Love, clearly annoyed that his chances at scoring an elimination were ruined by Liam smashes down on him like a tonne of bricks. He hammers away with hard rights and lefts then pulls Liam up to his feet and nails a Dragon DDT. Leaping to his feet Drake roars, which the crowd do not seem to appreciate, but nevertheless Drake searches for a weapon. He grabs a sledge hammer but upon realising that is it chained to the ring ropes, decides to find a more suitable weapon from under the ring.
Elsewhere, Jim still has the Hell’s Bells locked in on Prime – who is still struggling to escape, and Ethan Adams in taking on Lara Toni. Roxie meanwhile has managed to get the upper-hand on Kennedy. She whips her down to the canvas by her hair and locks in a Dragon sleeper. Kennedy begins to fight out of it as Drake slides back into the ring with a Kendo stick in hand. He brings it crashing down on the back of Jim’s head, breaking the hold, then continually beats the monster with it. After a few more hits, Jim stops moving and Drake decides to stop beating him.
CM: Oh yes! What shots to the back of Jim O’Brien’s head. What a welcome back courtesy of that man there, Drake Love.
Kennedy manages to overcome Roxie, dropping her down with a stiff dropkick, but once on her feet again she gets BLASTED in the face with a chair by Ethan Adams. He smirks and surveys the damage around the ring. He shouts to everyone that is standing, that is everyone except for Kennedy and Jim O’Brien and points down at Prime, muttering inaudibly.
JH: What is Ethan up to?
Everybody nods in agreement and advances on Prime. Mr. Blond, Roxie and Lara go to the tope rope and pull it down. Liam and Ethan grabs Prime by the arms, Jay and Adam take the torso and Drake the legs. They all pull him up and towards the ropes, beginning to tip him over. But there is life in the bodybuilder yet and he begins fighting back. The group struggle to get him out, until Drake nails a rather vicious shot to the groin which subdues the big man enough for him to be thrown over the top rope.
CM: Yeah, that freak is outta here all thanks to Drake Love.
JH: I think the others might have had something to…
CM: All thanks to Drake Love.
MA: PRIME has been ELIMINATED!
The teamwork doesn’t last long though. Drake quickly takes down Adam and Jay with swift punches. Ethan and Liam being brawling again, as do Roxie and Lara and Mr. Blond decides to take advantage of a downed O’Brien. Rolling out of the ring (again) Drake grabs a table and slides it back in, but is met with a stomp to the back courtesy of Adam Wilson. Wilson continues to control Drake on the canvas, but brings him up into the corner, lifting his legs over each of the middle ropes. Drake looks on; a little unaware of what is happening as Adam backs up. He charges in and hits a precision Front Dropkick straight to the groin of Drake.
CL: NUTCRACKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Sorry. Couldn’t resist.
The crowd chuckle with laughter as Drake falls down to the canvas, eyes wide in a silent scream. Kennedy is recuperating in another corner, watching Mr. Blond fire shots at Jim O’Brien. Deciding that mere fists will not be enough to quell the big man, Blond rolls out of the ring to search for some weapons, pulling them out from under the ring and chucking them into the ring. Amongst the menagerie are a baseball bat, a stop sign (which is quickly used by Roxie to knock Lara down), a barbwire plunger, and a couple of 2x4s. Rolling back into the ring, the Blond one grabs a 2x4 and begins to choke Jim with it. But O’Brien doesn’t take this lying down and begins to fight back. Blond attempts to subdue the monster by scratching and pulling at his face, but it is no use as Jim manages to fight himself back to his feet, grabbing one of the other 2x4s and smacking it right into the quiff.
CM: Not the quiff! Anything but the quiff.
In other areas of the ring, Kennedy has come back into the action. Running at Adam Wilson she hits a picture perfect swinging neckbreaker, and once back to a full upright position runs at Drake and takes him back down with a headscissors. The crowd show their appreciation for Kennedy, but in the meantime Ethan Adams is taking control of Liam. He floors him with a quick powerbomb then grabs the stop sign. He raises his foot in the air, holding the stop sign just slightly below it and then stomps it down directly on the face of Liam Mortell.
CL: Fully fucking sick move by that fucking son of a cunt Ethan Adams.
CM: Are you still fucking pissed cause he eliminated your back-door-buddy?
JH: Liam could have a broken nose now, either way that had to hurt a lot.
The crowd seem shocked as Liam clutches his face in pain. Jay Bain, who has not being doing much since helping eliminate Prime, is now watching Lara and Roxie with a little smile. Lara has Roxie locked in a single leg crab, and she is screaming in pain. Suddenly, Jim O’Brien heads towards Jay, reeling from a baseball bat to the back. Jay quickly moves out of the way, as Jim grabs the sledge hammer and drives it towards the stomach of Mr. Blond. But the chain is too short and it stops an inch or two short of the quiffed-one. Blond drops the bat and goes to spray the Blond mist, but Jim quickly ducks out of the way and grabs the barbwire plunger. Blond turns around straight into a shot straight into the chest. He clutches it with pain as he staggers backwards towards the ropes. Jim takes a run up and hits a Cactus clothesline. Both men tumble over the ropes but whilst Blond hits the floor, Jim manages to just hold on and roll himself back into the ring.
MA: MR. BLOND has been ELIMINATED
Back in the ring, Drake Love has managed to get the Great White Hype under control. He whips him into the ropes and SMACKS him in the face with a chair. Adam stumbles around on all fours, dazed by the shot. Drake begins to play with him. Pushing him around with his foot and slapping him around the face.
JH: This Japanese audience are not appreciating the way that Drake Love is disrespecting his opponent.
CM: Bitchen, will you please shut your cock-hole? Drake Love is just showing who the Alpha Male is.
Drake pulls Wilson up into a standing headscissors and shouts out to the crowd. He pulls Adam up for a powerbomb but is hit with a Singapore cane!
JH: See? It bit him in the ass. He waited too long to hit the powerbomb and he allowed the Hype to pick up that Singapore cane.
Adam drops back down to the canvas and blasts Love in the head with the Singapore cane again. He quickly forces Drake back against the ropes and begins to leaver him over the top, but Drake holds on tight. Adam keeps on pushing and eventually dumps Drake down to the mats below.
MA: DRAKE LOVE has been ELIMINATED!
JH: The pace of the eliminations is increasing, we could see who will get the title shot very soon.
CL: It still isn’t hardcore enough though, when am I going to get to see some blood?
CM: Haven’t you seen Liam’s face?
Indeed, Liam is bleeding rather heavily from the nose where Ethan stomped the stop sign earlier and is having difficulty standing up. He crawls towards a corner to recover. Whilst this is going on Lara is still having difficulty trying to get Roxie over the ropes, and Adam Wilson has started to brawl with Jay Bain. Ethan Adams has momentarily called a truce with Kennedy and the two are stomping away at Jim O’Brien, who is still managing to do a fairly good job at fending the two off. Lara sets Roxie up in the corner and begins to chop away, when Adam Wilson shoves Jay Bain into her, not very hard, but just enough to squash her slightly. Lara turns around and gives the ‘evils’ to Jay. He tries to apologise but she is having none of it.
CL: If I were Jay Bain I’d get the hell out of her way. Once a woman has it into her head that you’re to blame for something it’s hard to convince her otherwise…and I should know.
Lara shoves Jay, then slaps him round the face. Lara kicks him in the gut and begins to club him across the back. She grabs a trash can and jabs it into the midsection of Jay. He tries to protect himself but falls victim to a shot to the head and then gets stuffed inside the can. He wanders the ring like a headless chicken, unable to get the slightly dented trash can off his upper-body. Lara realises her opportunity when Jay nears the ropes and sweeps out his legs. Unable to grab hold of the ropes, due to his arms also being stuck inside the can he tumbles to the outside with ease.
MA: JAY BAIN has been ELIMINATED!
Adam Wilson stalks from behind with a Singapore cane, smiling with a little evil glint in his eye. He swings back but the cane is ripped from his hands. He turns round to see Liam Mortell who quickly kicks a trash can lid up into the air, grabs it with his hand and smacks it into the face of Adam Wilson. Liam launches forward, hammering lefts and rights into the torso of the great white hype. He swings back for a forearm, but it is ducked. Adam pushes Liam against the ropes but, thinking fast, Liam grabs Adam’s arm and throws him over the tope rope with a modified Ippon Seoinage.
MA: ADAM WILSON has been ELIMINATED!
JH: Two eliminations in quick succession we could be very near the end of the match.
CM: This match is getting more boring by the minute, we’ve lost Drake, Mr. Blond and now we’ve lost Adam Wilson.
Lara looks at Adam for a moment, then at Liam and gives him a little ‘thank you’ nod. He returns with a ‘you’re welcome’ nod and the two continue on their way. The communication between Kennedy and Ethan has obviously broken down as the two are now going at it again, trading blow for blow. Roxie tackles Lara from behind, bringing her down to the canvas. She begins to drag her around the ring by her hair. Lara screams in pain and struggles to break the grip, but eventually Roxie breaks it herself, but Lara doesn’t get much of a break as Roxie begins to choke her with a foot…and then stomps on her face. Roxie keeps on the attack, picking up her opponent before dropping her again with a vicious DDT. Liam finally breaks this up with a few forearms, backing Roxie into a corner.
Meanwhile, Jim is back to his feet, grabbing a 2x4 he swings it wildly and takes down Kennedy. He swings it again and this time Ethan Adams feels the blow. Dropping the 2x4, he picks Ethan up, ready for a suplex. He lifts him into the air, suspending him there for a few moments before slamming him down to the canvas. Getting back up to a knee he throws a finger up in the air and shouts “ONE!” Pulling Ethan back to his feet he hits another suplex, this time of the gut-wrench variety. Upon getting back to his knees again he shouts “TWO!”. Jim hits a Double Arm suplex, “THREE!”
JH: How many times is Jim going to suplex Ethan?!
CL: A couple more hundred times should just about do it.
And a German suplex, “FOUR!” He then stops. He walks over to the chair that has been used throughout the match and attempt to open it out, but the damage means it is completely unusable. He disposes of it and exits the ring, once he has found another chair he slides it into the ring. Once inside himself, he opens it out and pulls Ethan up into a half Nelson. However, at the apex of the suplex Ethan reverses it and drives Jim head first into the open chair. The crowd applaud the innovativeness, as Ethan lies on the canvas, exhausted. Roxie fires shots at the gut of Liam to stop a suplex attempt near one of the turnbuckles, but doesn’t break the grips and tries to suplex Liam out of the ring. He wiggles a little in the air and is able to land on the apron. Keeping hold of the suplex grip he lifts her up and drops her on the ropes, so she is lying with her front on one set of ropes and her legs on the other. Ascending the turnbuckle Liam position himself carefully; then flips forward off the turnbuckle, powerbombing Roxie down to the canvas.
JH: Perfectly executed Oklahoma Powerbomb by Liam Mortell.
Kennedy, by this time, has made her way over to Lara and it attempting to lever her over the top rope, but Lara manages to escape following an elbow to the head. The two quickly grab the nearest weapon to each of them. This just so happens to be a trash can for each of them. They swing at each other, and the cans collide with a bang. They swing again and the same happens. The two appear to be having a trash can duel. Metal crashes against metal as Liam pulls a semi-conscious Jim to the ropes. Placing his upper body on the ropes, they begin to sag with the weight as Liam struggles to lift the big man over. Lara and Kennedy continue to duel until Kennedy out-smarts Lara and smashes the trash can out of her hands. Lara slowly backs away towards Jim and Liam, looking in fear at the trash can. She can’t run quick enough however as Kennedy J.F.K’s her trash can right into Lara’s face. Lara reels backwards into and over the sagging ropes.
MA: LARA TONI has been ELIMINATED!
CM: What a fluky elimination!
JH: Kennedy is always aware of her surroundings, I don’t think that was just plain fluke.
Kennedy has no time to relax, however, as Roxie launches herself forwards. Kennedy quickly dodges out of the way and Roxie flies over the ropes, but clings on for dear life! She steadies herself on the apron, but not for long as Kennedy steps up on the second rope and hits a modified Shining Wizard to the head of Roxie. Roxie slumps backwards to the mats below.
JH: The Shot Heard Around the World!
MA: ROXIE GALANOOCHIE has been ELIMINATED!
Kennedy catches her breath for a moment, but it turns out to be a big mistake as she becomes the second recipient of a GP title to the back of the head. Ethan grabs her by the hair and looks down at her. The crowd mumble with possible disappointment, wondering what he is about to do, but he doesn’t perform any feigned sexual acts, only locks her in a dragon sleeper and pulls her so his back is against the turnbuckle. He then dragon sleeper suplexes her onto the top rope and then walks away. Turning back he gets a little run up, jumps into the air and nails a roundhouse kick right to the temple. Kennedy crashes down to the mats, just like the two women she just eliminated.
MA: KENNEDY has been ELIMINATED!
CM: Did you see that, Bitchen? Kennedy just got eliminated with her own move, the J.F.K!
CL: Fucking Ethan Adams.
CM: Oh will you please SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Liam is still trying to eliminate Jim with little success. Ethan, perhaps realising that it might be easier for the two of them to eliminate the big man rather than him trying by himself decides to team up with Liam…at least temporarily. However, as soon as Ethan touches Jim, he starts to come back around, he forces both Liam and Ethan away and when they run back at him he takes them both down with a clothesline each. Ethan rolls out of the ring and onto the apron. He waits until Jim turns around, springboards forward for a crossbody…but is caught. However, Liam dives from behind and takes out Jim’s left leg with a chop block. O’Brien doesn’t simply stay down. He fights Liam and Ethan off again, pushing Ethan into a corner and pressing Liam high above his head. He begins to head for the ropes but Ethan SMASHES him in the back of the left knee with the Singapore cane. The monster crashes down to the canvas, clutching his leg.
JH: Ethan and Liam are working away at the trunks of the tree.
CL: Nice metaphor.
JH: I thought it was. Anyway, it seems Ethan and Liam are now bringing some more weapons into the ring. I see a table, some chairs, but no ladders though! Ha ha!
Ethan sets up a table and instructs Liam to help put Jim onto the table. They rest him on it but one of the legs buckles and Jim slides off the table. Liam, thinking quickly folds the legs down and opens two chairs and rests the table on the chairs. He quickly tells Ethan his idea, who nods and heads out to the apron. Liam holds Jim up around the waist as Ethan springboards for the Ratings Spike. But Jim counters at the last second into a bearhug. He charges Ethan into a turnbuckle and breaks the hold. He allows Ethan to stagger forward before grabbing him by the head and chucking him over the ropes.
CL: YES! He’s gone.
But unfortunately for Jim, and Conse, Ethan hangs on. Jim hasn’t noticed through and has focused his attentions on Liam. Ethan ‘skins the cat’ back into the ring and quickly hops up onto the top rope. Jim tells Liam to “bring it”, but Liam tells Jim to turn around. He does so and is met with a huge missile dropkick to the chest. Ethan helps position Jim and tells Liam to go up to the top rope. Liam slowly ascends the ropes and waits on the top rope. Unexpectedly Ethan runs up the ropes himself and nails Liam in the shoulder with a stiff right hand. Liam immediately crumbles down into himself, but remains on the top rope, and screams in pain.
JH: What the hell? A punch shouldn’t hurt that much. Something’s up.
Ethan nails Liam in the shoulder again with his brass knuckle-covered fist then chucks them away. He yells into the crowd, signalling for some kind of move but before he can do anything Jim O’Brien gets to his feet and grabs Ethan from behind. Ethan fires shots at the head of Jim as he staggers backwards to the centre of the ring but Jim simply charges towards the ropes and dumps Ethan over the ropes, crashing into the apron, and down to the mats below.
CL: YES!
MA: ETHAN ADAMS has been ELIMINATED!
Jim watches as Liam crawls across the canvas, clutching his shoulder. He slowly advances on his injured opponent. Perhaps expecting Liam to be easily defeated, Jim is shocked when he receives a flurry of lefts (he right being unusable thanks to Ethan). Jim quickly takes control again with a stiff knee to the torso, and drags Liam towards the make shift table. Unexpectedly, Liam gets a burst of energy and manages to drives forward and sweep out the legs of Jim, smashing through the table with a modified spear/spinebuster.
CM: How the FUCK did he manage that?
JH: That was messy, but if it gets the job done…
Jim lies, half shocked and half hurt in the remains of the table. He begins to slowly pick himself up out of the wreckage but Liam is still face down on the canvas, screaming in pain. Liam slowly makes his way back to his feet. Jim waits until he is fully upright before knocking him right back down with a big boot. Jim smiles with the realisation that he is, perhaps, just moments from winning the match and a shot at the Dual Crown championship. Picking Liam up he locks in a standing Hell’s Bells. Liam struggles to escape, knowing that if he stays in the hold for very long his shoulder could be in serious danger. He swings back with his leg, kicking Jim in the left leg. He swings back again, and again, and again until Jim finally breaks the hold. Jim drops down to a knee and clutches his leg as Liam runs the ropes and nails a shining enzuigiri, shining off the bad leg of Jim.
JH: This is smart by Liam, working on the leg of Jim. If he keeps on the attack he might not be at such a disadvantage.
CM: Bullshit! The dude is a cripple, just look at him clutching his shoulder.
Jim makes his way back to a standing base as Liam once again runs the ropes, but this time Jim counters him and attempts a sidewalk slam…but Liam spins all the way around and drags Jim down to the canvas in the perfect position for…
CL: ATC! The move that has finished some of the best.
But as Liam wrenches the hold, his shoulder gives and he has to let go. Jim rolls over on the canvas and smashes Liam in the shoulder with a big right fist, allowing himself some time to get back to his feet. He pulls Liam into a standing headscissors, and then up onto his shoulder. Jim charges forwards to the ropes but before Liam can fly out of the ring he pulls down the top rope and Jim falls over as well. Liam desperately clings to the top rope with both arms. Jim has one leg on the apron, another dangling close to the floor and his arms gripped tightly to Liam. Liam is screaming in pain but is desperate not to let go. Jim is scrabbling to get a better grip on Liam. Liam’s grip abruptly breaks and the two crumple to the mats simultaneously.
DING! DING! DING!
JH: Who won?
CM: Who cares?
The referees quickly gather, but none of them seem sure who hit the floor first. They talk with Michael and Timmy too, but everyone seems to be arguing about who won. Finally Logan Black takes control of the situation. He shuts the other referees up and then directs some words at Michael.
MA: Ladies and Gentlemen…
He pauses, the crowd listens intently.
MA: Your winners, LIAM MORTEEEELL and JIM O’BRIEEEEN!
The crowd cheer and applaud the decision and then quickly begin to murmur about what this means.
JH: What does this mean for the Dual Crown title shot? Will it be a triple threat? Two matches?
CL: I think there is only one person that can answer that question Hitchen.
JH: Indeed. Keep tuned in folks for more developments are they occur.
JH: We’ve already seen a chaotic scene in our first two matches!
CL: That referee screwed Tier.
CM: What about those two old men?! They won the match!
JH: And, next up we have the first of a three match series of tag team action tonight!
CL: With the tag belts up for grabs too.
CM: Please let the Zaibatsu win, please, please, please!
MA: Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is the third scheduled contest for this edition of Friday Night ReVolt! It will be the first match of the FIW Tag Team Round Robin Challenge and has been granted a thirty minute time limit with one fall to a finish! Your referee for this bout is Fuzz…and it is for the Full Intensity Wrestling Tag Team Championships of the World!
The super-funky ZZ Top-covered riff which, in the hands of Jun Kimura still sounds awesome, strikes up heralding the arrival of FIW's very own "Sharp Dressed Man" as the lights dim to allow spotlights to shine on the entrance cage, which as we speak is filling up with dry ice smoke.
Clean shirt, New shoes,
And I don't know where I am going to.
Silk suit, Black tie,
I don't need a reason why-y-y-y!
They come runnin' just as fast as they can...
'Cause Every Girl's Crazy Bout a Sharp Dressed Man!
The chorus ends, with three blasts of pyro in time with those last three words, clearing the smoke away to reveal a young man wondering what kind of hell the CO [size0]2 has played with his bleached blond hair, and he stops at the top for the ramp to fix his quiff with a comb he already had in his hands. Eventually, he's satisfied with the results and he confidently struts towards the ring, flicking the [autographed, obviously,] comb into the front row but before he can scale the ring steps, he orders one of the ring attendants to go up first to hold the ropes open for him. A small argument ensues, but eventually the ring attendant relents and lets him through. Once in the ring, Blondie stretches in his corner as he waits for the bell.
CL: That man has one mighty head of hair.
CM: You’re just admiring it because you’re balding.
JH: I wouldn’t be talking, Chip…
La........La........La....La Wait Till I Get My Money Right!
La........La........La....La Then You Can't Tell Me Nothing Right!
The lights dim throughout the arena as Kanye repeats the lines accapella. He receives a mixed reaction throughout the arena as Shaun's music blasts. Shaun slowly steps out the curtains and stops right above the stairs.
I Had A Dream I Can Buy My Way To Heaven, When I Woke I Spent That On A Necklace.
I Told God I'll Be Back In A Second, Man It's So Hard Not To Act Reckless!
Shaun stares cockily at the crowd into the arena. He crosses both of his arms as white pyro rains down from the Revoltrons behind him. Once the pyro stops raining Shaun slowly takes off his hood and smirks as he jogs down the stairs. He nods his head to the song as he walks slowly down the aisleway. Clips of Shaun in action plays on the ReVoltrons.
I Feel The Pressure, Under More Scrutiny
And What I Do? Act More Stupidly!
Shaun nears the ring and takes off his hoodie and slings it into the nearby audience. Shaun continues to lip synch the words as he takes a couple of steps and hops up on the ring apron. Shaun turns and raises both arms in the air leaning on the top ropes. After taunting the crowd more he walks over to the turnbuckle and climbs it.
So If The Devil Wear Prada, Adam & Eve Wears Nada
I'm In Between, But Way More Fresher.
With Way Less Effort, Cuz When You Try Hard.......That's When You Die Hard!
Your Homies Looking Like Why God, When They Reminisce Over You My God!
The beat breaks down as the woman continues her chant as Shaun is perched above the top rope. He taps his chest and raises his arms still talking trash to him. Shaun finally climbs down and adjusts his wrestling gear.
Excuse Iz You Saying Something?
Un Uh You Can't Tell Me Nothing!
(Ha Ha) You Can't Tell Me Nothing!
La........La........La....La Wait Till I Get My Money Right!
La........La........La....La Then You Can't Tell Me Nothing Right!
Shaun bounces around the ring and gets ready for his opponents.
CM: My dog! My homie! My …uh…amigo! Vato! Vato! Vato! Represent!
JH: Oi veh…
CL: See why I said having a shotgun in the booth was a good idea?
At first the arena is filled with the faint sound of chugging guitars. The music grows louder, building up into a faster more powerful rhythm. Lights begin to flash white and red as all attention turns to the entryway.
Just let me ask you,
"Hey, have you heard of my religion?"
It's called the church of hot addiction,
and we believe that God is lust for everything.
The two members of HARDCORE SEX appear at the entryway with Onikage, posing for the fans. Steve is his usual sullen, silent self, staring intently at the ring, preparing himself mentally for the upcoming match, fists clenched, jaw tight. Felix, on the other hand, totally hams it up, blowing kisses to the crowd, pumping his arms and flexing his muscles. FIW's Morning Star is smiling and waving to the fans along with Felix as a hand rests on Steve's shoulder to comfort his tortured soul.
Because now...
the time has come for your devotion,
and you already got the motion.
What I need to give it, just give it, give it to me
I'm waiting, I'm waiting... Turn out the lights…
As the duo make their way to the ring with their advisor, Steve walks forward with a determined pace, his breathing steadily increasing. Felix bounces like a kid with two much sugar, strutting to the music, pursing his lips and rubbing his nipples.
As they arrive at the ring, Felix hops on to the apron and raises the ropes for Steve like a wrestler would do for his valet. Steve ignores this and slides into the ring under the bottom rope. The leader of the Rejects staying at the ringside area and pacing around it, his eyes and smile focusing on his charges inside the ring.
Tonight
I am the drug you can't deny!
Tonight
G.A.B.E. gonnna get you high!
My light is electric!
Both men wait in the ring as their poppy rock theme fades out, Steve folding his arms and cracking his neck as Felix continues to work the crowd, shaking the ropes and dancing back and forth.
Hey, hey, hey!
My light is electric, yeah!
Hey, hey, hey!
My light is electric!
Hey, hey, hey!
My light is electric, yeah!
Hey, hey, hey!
My light is electric, yeah…
JH: Here they are…the champs…sigh
CL: Who may have the advantage as much as I’d hate to admit it with Onikage in their corner.
CM: But, look! Blond and Shaun have not only Daisuke…but Roxie! I instantly want them to win even more!
MA: Introducing first the challengers, they are representing the Tanaka Zaibatsu and are accompanied…I guess…to the ring by their fellow Tanaka Zaibatsu members in Roxie Galanoochie and their leader, Daisuke Tanaka…They weigh in at a four and forty three pounds combined…THEY! ARE! MMMMMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSTERRRRRR BLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNND~!!! AND~! SSSSSSSSSHAAAAAAAAUUUUNNNNNNNNNNN WIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLSSSSSSOOOOONNNNNN~!!!
Surprisingly the fans give the Zaibatsu a fairly warm reception and it becomes clear why when a “Crow” chant begins amongst them. This chant prompts a caw’ing like cackle from Tanaka as Roxie continues to look around in amazement, unsure how Daisuke got her here. While Blond & Shaun both play up to the fans in the crowd and mock Hardcore Sex over their some what positive reaction and popularity of their boss.
MA: And introducing next the champions, they are presenting the Rejects and are accompanied to the ring by their fellow Reject and leader, Onikage…They weigh in at four hundred and twenty pounds combined…HE! IS! FFFFFFFFFEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIX AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRROOOOOYOOOOOOOO~!!! AND~! HE~! IS~! SSSSSSSSSSTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVEEEEEEEEEEEEE PAAAAAAAAAAATTERRRRRRRRSSSSSSSOOOOOONNNNNNN~!!! …They are your reigning FIW Tag Team Champions of the World…THEY! ARE! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRDCOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRE SSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEX~!!!
Much to the shock of the Tanaka Zaibatsu the Japanese fans erupt for the champions and the champions themselves look uncertain about it. That is until the deafening chant of “O-ni-ka-ge” rings out through the arena and brings back Tanaka’s scowl as FIW’s Morning Star grins at him from across the ringside floor. Getting pumped up from the reaction, Felix & Steve throw their arms into the air and show off their hardware to cheers and applause from the fans.
DING! DING! DING!
At the sound of the bell the Reject representatives toss their championships over the top rope and are caught by their advisor as they rush across the ring! With their guards down, Blond and Wilson are left wide open for the punches and forearm strikes that are dished out by the champions at a break neck pace! The Crow looks on in disapproval with a scowl and Roxie looks a little concerned for them as their heads bobble about with each strike they take. Switching it up with their attack, Hardcore Sex start dishing out windmill style chops onto the chests of the Zaibatsu to cheers & applause from the fans in attendance!
CL: Oh come on! This can’t be legal!
CM: It isn’t! …It isn’t, right Hitchen?
JH: Yes, Chip...it’s not legal and the referee better take control of this situation soon. This isn’t a hardcore match after all!
Red is the color that Blond’s and Shaun’s chests are turning as they blister and bruise from the strikes they are receiving at a tommy gun style pace. Finally they see their opening…and bail out of the ring from between the ropes and dive out onto the ringside floor near their comrades! Some of the fans jeer this cowardly action as Roxie goes over to them to see how they are and fawn over them as Tanaka scurries over to them as they wince & groan. The entire Tanaka Zaibatsu huddle together in a small meeting as they whisper their next course of action Hardcore Sex get a proud nod from their advisor on the outside.
CM: Time-out! Time-out! Time to rethink their strategy!
JH: Last time I checked there were no time-outs in wrestling though it looks like sitting underneath Onikage’s learning tree is aiding Hardcore Sex.
CL: They do seem more aggressive than usual…and a lot more fucking gay.
Each of their heads nod and more whispers seep out, Daisuke seems to be talking the most out of the lot of them though the others chime in every few seconds. After a minute or so of this they all stand up and nod their heads in unison with smug smirks painted straight across on all of them. Unfortunately for them they are so busy they don’t see Felix diving through the ropes in a tope that ends up him tackle hugging Daisuke & sending the rest into the guard rail! Things go for bad to worse for the trio because Steve leaps up onto the top rope and springboards off of it into a three hundred and sixty degree splash that takes them down!
JH: And, Hardcore Sex clear house!
CL: And, get a polite applause for their efforts.
CM: I think that cat freak might’ve been right, it’s like we are at a friggin’ golf game or some thing!
Darting back up to their feet, Felix and Steve scoop up Blond and Wilson, and lead them over to the apron and throw them back into the ring before sliding in after them. Once back in the ring they look back out as Tanaka gets on wobble legs to his feet and attempts to help Galanoochie back up to her own. The Fierce One and the Emo Kid turn their attentions back to their challengers and lift them up to their feet, whipping them to the other side of the ring! Tanaka’s Zaibatsu barrel across the ring and hit the ropes only to face plant to a confused reaction from Hardcore Sex, Fuzz, Onikage standing near by and the fans!
CL: Did that sheep fucker just yank their feet out from under them?!
CM: I didn’t think he could actually harm a contracted talent and vice versa!
JH: I…I don’t think I saw him do it but…why then?
Up onto their knees the token Black and Cajun men plea to the referee to do some thing about it and accusingly point at FIW’s Morning Star at ringside. The hardcore referee points at the Savior of Sorrow and warns him as he looks on with innocent puzzlement at what is going on right now. Fuzz turns his back to tell the champs it’s okay when Blond pulls out his signature roll of quarters with a sly smirk…and tosses them straight at the Rejects’ leader! Instinctively he catches them only for Shaun & his team mate to cry out and get the referee to turn around and see…Onikage holding the quarters with his arm raised towards Mr. Blond!
CM: Onikage has Jedi powers?! I thought that was only Tier! Crap! We might have to have the first ever light saber deathmatch!
JH: …He doesn’t have Jedi powers! Blond and Shaun are, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, framing Onikage!
CL: I like the Jedi powers theory better.
Now the referee isn’t happy and gets right to the ropes to sternly scold the Messiah of the Mind as Daisuke quietly chuckles on the opposite side of the ring. Furious at this happening, Hardcore Sex charge and hit stereo low dropkicks on their challengers straight to their faces! Immediately Roxie cries out and gains the referee’s attention as Tanaka and her provide a claim Hardcore Sex low blowed thir comrades and Onikage was giving them the distraction! That’s it, Fuzz starts shouting at the Savior of Sorrow and Hardcore Sex’s, and his eyes all grow huge as saucers at what he is saying to the former champion.
JH: The Tanaka Zaibatsu have staged this whole ordeal! Onikage is being ejected!
CL: Yup, like you said yourself, Hardcore Sex is a notch or two better than before with Onikage by their side.
CM: But when you take him out of the math they are back to being the guys that the Zaibatsu smacked around!
Japan’s fans are less than thrilled with this and let Fuzz know it as he seems rather proud in his decision making as he watches the Rejects’ leader head to the back. Distraught over losing their mentor, Hardcore Sex don’t realize Blond & Shaun sneaking up on them until it is too late & they get two face fulls of mist! Pulling out two more rolls of quarters, Blond tosses over to Wilson and the two whack each Hardcore Sex member over the head with one! In a dash they stuff them back away & Fuzz turns around in time to only see them both performing variations of the Daisuke Clutch to Felix & Steve!
CL: Genius! Fucking genius!
CM: Yes! Win, win, win!
1!
JH: The Tanaka Zaibatsu are stealing the belts!
CL: Wasn’t that how they won them…and retained them?
2!
CM: Down with the freaks!
JH: There has to be some way this can be stopped!
3!
DING DING DING~!!!
CL: Buwahahahahaha! It’s over! New champions!
CM: The belts are back in the Zaibatsu’s camp!
MA: Ladies and gentlemen your winners by pin fall…and NEW Full Intensity Wrestling Tag Team Champions of the World…Mr. Blond…and…Shaun Wilson…THEY! ARE! THE! TAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAKAAAAAAAAAAAA ZAAAAAAAIIIIIIIBAAAAAATSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUUUU~!!!
”X” cover begins to play to a chorus of hissing like jeers as Blond and Shaun roll out to the ringside area and are embraced by Roxie in a near tackle. Slowly and coldly Daisuke applauds his charges as they are presented with their championships and raise them over their heads. Shaun grinning and showing off his Flycore and Tag titles to the fans who are jeering at him as the Zaibatsu head to the back, looking like they are ready to party! Weakly Felix and Steve get up to their knees, wiping out the mist and clutching their heads as they look utterly crushed at what has transpired to them.
CM: New champions! New champions!
JH: That may be the case but the Zaibatsu stole them and still have to get past the Revolution!
CL: Oh yeah, that’ll be hard with Daisuke in their corner.
JH: I’m sorry folks at home if I’m not as excited about this match as I was originally…
CL: Are you still fucking crying over what happened?
CM: Seriously, since when were you such a big fan of the Rejects?
JH: While never a fan, I do feel like they were actually wronged and those belts were stolen from them.
CL: Well get the fuck over it, we got new champions and they are making their first defense.
CM: Against Batman and Robin!
JH: I don’t think one is greater than the other in the Revolution.
CL: Don’t make me laugh, Grant is certainly the superior one and thus why he’s…SUPERMAN!
CM: Was he the black one? Or, was that Steel or Cyborg or some thing like that?
MA: Ladies and gentlemen the next contested is the scheduled fifth match of this edition of Friday Night ReVolt! It will be the second match of the FIW Tag Team Round Robin Challenge and has been granted a thirty minute time limit with one fall to a finish! Your official for this bout is the Truth…and it is for the Full Intensity Wrestling Tag Team Championships of the World!
The house lights drop, immediately sending the crowd into a frenzy as they know EXACTLY who's on their way..
"As the day is long... as the damage done..."
RISE!
As one, the crowd LEAPS to their feet, all of them throwing 'R' signs into the air as the lights all over the arena begin to blaze and strobe maniacally to the thunder known as 'Damage Done' by Mushroomhead. Nightmare steps out onto the stage, coat drifting behind him, and Grant Rice follows him out a moment later, both raising the 'R' handsign to the crowd on opposite sides of the ramp, the theme song barely being heard over the noise.
Get the hammers high!
Get in line to get fucked up!
Get the hammers high!
Get fucked up!
They converge at the center of the stage and head down the ramp, Nightmare tagging hands with the fans as Grant just heads straight for the ring, stopping at the apron to wait for Nightmare to reach him and slide underneath the ropes before entering the ring himself. He goes up on the turnbuckle, beckoning the crowd to shower the Revolution with their praise as Nightmare riles up the crowd on the other turnbuckle as only he can, taunting, flexing and such like. As soon as the chorus hits they begin screaming the lyrics with the song and the crowd, both holding up both hands in the 'R' handsign.
GONNA WAKE SHIT UP! GONNA BREAK SHIT UP!
GONNA TEAR THIS GONE-DEAD WORLD APART!
GONNA TEAR THIS GONE-DEAD WORLD APART!
GONNA WAKE SHIT UP! GONNA BREAK SHIT UP!
DON'T DOUBT THE HATE THAT'S INSIDE OF MY HEART!
GONNA BREAK HUMANITY JUST IN SPITE OF ME!
GAZE INTO MY EYES AND YOU'LL FIIIIIIIIIIIND!!!
JH: Well he got his wish of being a double champion again…
CL: And, that’s all that matters…and that Daisuke and Roxie just appeared from behind Timmy the time keeper’s table.
CM: Once again my interest is peaked.
MA: Introducing first the challengers, they weigh in at a combined weight of five hundred and twenty three pounds…HE! IS! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNT RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCE~!!! AND~! HE! IS! NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHTMMMMMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAARRRRRE~!!! THEY! ARE! THE! …RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVOLLLLLLLLLUTION~!!!
Politely the fans applaud the challengers who give curt waves out to their fans, their focus never leaving the champions opposite to them in the ring. Rice slings his UIC over his shoulder and Shaun seems to take it up as a challenge, showing off his two championships around his shoulders. Nightmare stretches a few more times as he glares at Blond who looks like he’s trying not to laugh in the Revo member’s face in light of this intense look. Instead he opts to pat his championship that is comfortably resting around his waist and the Prince of Pain makes a point of pointing straight at the title.
MA: And introducing the champions, they are representatives of the Tanaka Zaibatsu and are accompanied to the ring by Daisuke Tanaka and Roxie Galanoochie. They weigh in at a combined weight of four hundred and forty three pounds…And they are your Full Intensity Wrestling Tag Team Champions of the World…THEY! ARE! MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSTERRRRRRR BLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNND~!!! AND~! SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAUNNNN WWWWWWWWWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLSSSSSSSSSOOOONNNNNMNN~!!!
FIW’s new champions soak in their hated reaction from the fans of hisses; the Cajun rubs the main plate of his belt as he looks out at them. While the African American Whoop Ass Machine struts around their corner with a championship on each of his shoulders. Grant softly shakes his head and this show boating only seems to make Nightmare a tad angry as the referee takes all four championships from them. Both teams talk over who’ll go first and for Revolution Nightmare steps up and from the Zaibatsu Blond takes up the call.
DING DING DING~!!!
Upon the bell ringing the tag champ scurries right in and ducks beneath a giant right hand from the larger man and clubs him in the side with a sharp punch of his own! Showing his power, the punch causes not only the air to be knocked out of his opponent…but for a spurt of internal bleeding come from his mouth! Nightmare tries to snatch it and clean his mouth as he staggers back and the referee checks on him, leaving the Cajun with ample time to hide his roll of quarters. When that is taken care of Blondie rids them of the distance between them with a side superkick that knocks the Prince of Pain’s block off and causes him to crumble!
CL: Fear the power of Blond!
CM: Yes! He may talk funny but he’s awesome!
JH: I don’t like the look of that boot, let alone his roll of quarters!
Perhaps what Hitchen means is Blondie is having trouble walking with his boot he used to kick Nightmare as if it is heavier than usual for him. Further evidence of this is the loud clank it makes with every step he takes as he swoops in on the Revo member and connects with a fist drop right to the throat! Truth warns the Cajun about it but he blows off the official as he gets back up and drags the larger man back over to his team’s corner and tags in Wilson. FIW’s Flycore Champion pulls back on the top rope and sling shots himself into the ring with a senton splash right onto the Prince of Pain to applause from Daisuke & Roxie.
CM: This is great!
JH: Great?! This is horrible! Nightmare is being brutalized! Blond has used a loaded boot!
CL: Loaded boot? Come on, what are we, back in the fucking sixties?
Standing over his fallen challenger, the African American Whoop Ass Machine pumps his fists into the air and taunts the other Revo member out on the apron. Rice glares at the Zaibatsu member the entire time he grins & stares at Rice as he soccer kicks Nightmare repeatedly in the kidneys! The Prince of Pain groans and cries out, trying to cover himself up as a stream of crimson liquid is now freely spewing out from his mouth & trickles down his chest! Leaping up and bouncing off of the second rope, Shaun spins around in midair and delivers a picture perfect springboard leg drop down onto the throat of the challenger!
JH: They are just picking apart Nightmare here!
CL: The blood, it’s glorious…
CM: Come on! Do more! Do more!
Feebly the Prince of Pain starts pushing his body towards his team’s corner and the UIC stretches over the top rope with his hand out and extended to be ready. The fans applaud & root on the Revo member to tag in the other half and he makes about half way there…when Shaun stomps him on the back of his head! With Nightmare in between his legs he taunts both men to make the tag and every time Nightmare tries he gets slaps onto his head! Wilson cackles when he grows bored with merely slapping the challenger and actually kicks his arm with a martial arts like strike that makes him tremble in agony!
CL: This is almost too pathetic.
CM: Ha, what a moron Nightmare is!
JH: Come on! Nightmare! Make the tag!
More laughter from the Flycore Champion and his efforts get polite cackling & applause from his fellow Zaibatsu members out on the ringside floor. It ends when Nightmare seemingly gets a burst of energy out of nowhere and scrambles towards the turnbuckle in a last ditch effort to tag out. Just when it looks like the two Revo members’ hands are inches apart a front dropkick to the back of the challenger’s head stops him from making any tags. In the blink of an eye Shaun snatches the Prince of Pain and drags him across the canvas, leaving a blood smear, and over to his team’s corner & tags out to Blond!
CM: They are working like a well oiled machine.
JH: Maybe but it’s a dastardly one if I’ve ever seen such a thing!
CL: Dastardly? Seriously, are you sure we haven’t fallen through a time warp to the sixties?
Pointing over to Grant to catch the Truth’s attention, it allows Tanaka to toss two of his bukkon into the ring and Blond & Shaun catch them! With the wooden swords the tag champions very much go to town on their much larger challenger and abuse his midsection & skull mainly in what they target. As soon as they notice the referee is about to turn around Wilson dives out onto the apron and they both toss the swords back towards their owner. Who is so quick in grabbing them in midair and putting them back underneath his cloak that it isn’t precisely captured by the camera, only a blur of it is.
JH: More illegal tactics?!
CL: You can never have enough of them, Hitchen.
CM: That’s right, you can’t.
Arrogance flows off of the Cajun as he holds Nightmare by the wrist and goes to whip him towards one of the neutral corners only for Nightmare to reverse it! He redirects it towards the Revolution corner, except Blondie reverses it right back and sends him towards the corner instead! The Prince of Pain smirks as he’s trick worked and the tag champ curses under his breath as Daisuke shouts at his charge in outrage at falling for such a simple tactic! Mr. Blond tries to chase after him to stop him but it’s too late, the challenger hits his buckle and his team mate & he share a tag as he slips out of the ring!
CL: Fucking hell! Blond fell for the old Daffy Duck trick!
CM: Rabbit Season! Duck Season!
JH: Hooray for obscure referencing I suppose.
Opposite to how he was moments ago, the Cajun back pedals and tries to beg for mercy from the fresh Revo member who instead gives him a running yakuza kick! The blow makes the champion collapses and only be saved by the middle rope that he gets tangled into on the way down to the mat! Using them to get to his feet, Shaun tries to warn his partner not to however Blond turns around and gets a left hook to the jaw that sends him into the air! The Tanaka Zaibatsu member literally soars through the air several feet and twirls around & around in midair before he crashes down onto the mat with a thud!
CM: Crap! Blond’s quiff’s a lil’ messed up!
JH: The UZI and the Jaw Jackin’! Grant Rice is on fire!
CL: Blargh! Stupid Grimace, I blame him for this.
Fed up with the wait and standing there, the Flycore Champion hops over the top rope and bolts straight at his opposing fellow champion! Unfortunately for him Grant hoists him up and rotates the two of them almost all the way around before he drops Wilson down onto his back! Pushing up off of his knees with a determined look in his eyes as the fans cheer & applaud him on, he spots Blond who is stumbling about after getting back up to his feet. Tanaka tries to warn his associate though it is too late Grant comes up from behind to pick him up for a backdrop suplex only to turn it around into a one-armed slam!
JH: Killswytch and the Call Nine-One-One! My word!
CL: Yeeeah…he’s fucking pissed.
CM: I would be too if I looked like that.
FIW’s Crow flies up onto the apron to try and make the tide turn back around, and distract the referee…but gets a yakuza kick for his troubles! Tanaka tumbles off of the apron and crashes into Roxie as Rice turns his sights back on his legal opponent and Wilson rolls out of the ring. The Undisputed International Champion drops down to one knee and locks in the ankle lock on the Zaibatsu member who thrashes about on the canvas in pain! Just when he starts to try to crawl to the ropes…Rice grapevines it and wrenches as far back as he can & Blond taps viciously against the mat with both hands!
CL: What the fuck?!
CM: I thought it was called the Straight Mizery, not the What the fuck?!
DING DING DING~!!!
JH: I don’t believe it! Grant Rice and Nightmare are tag team champions yet again! They do say that some times champions come in waves and that is true tonight!
CL: Let’s hope their second reign is shorter than their first.
MA: Ladies and gentlemen your winners by submission…and NEW Full Intensity Wrestling Tag Team Champions of the World…GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNT RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCE~!!! AND~! NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHTMMMMMMMMMMMMARE~!!! THEY! ARE! THE! RRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVOLUTION~!!!
”Damage Done” erupts along with the fans in attendance after this announcement and Rice releases the hold with a look of disbelief on his face. Nightmare rolls into the ring with the same look on his face and the two tag partners stare at each other in utter shock over what’s happened. They crawl nearer to each other and embrace in a hug on their knees to more applause and tears start to flow freely as Truth presents them with the belts! Rice & Night heave their belts up over their heads into the air as Daisuke & Roxie help the wounded Blond & Shaun out of the ring with glares at the Revolution.
CM: I think I’m going to gag…
JH: I can’t believe it! The Revolution is now two time tag team champions!
CL: Ugh…Though some thing coming might make this more interesting.
Out of the crowd a figure hops the guard rail and hurries into the ring right behind the newly crowned world tag team champions. When they feel the presence of another person they turn around only for Rice to get a face full of black steel colliding with his facial features! Nightmare looks on horrified at the man standing over his fallen comrade…TIER! The God of Violence turns his enraged sight onto the other former follower and drives the steel onto the top of the Prince of Pain’s skull to jeers from the fans!
JH: Oh! What is this?!
CL: I think it’s called condemning the false prophets.
CM: Hey! I actually kinda…like Tier now!
With the co-champion down, Tier lifts his steel chair over his head and drills the tip of it into the bad knee of the aforementioned co-champion! Again and again, and again The Immortal Eternal Red does this with a ruthless mentality as Nightmare’s screams fill the air & their music ceases. Some thing actually joins these screams, the muffled delighted laughter of Tier as he pauses & bends down…pulling off the larger man’s protective knee brace! Once this is done he continues to assault the knee of Nightmare as Grant shakes his head on the mat and tries to stir & get the cobwebs out from the shot.
CL: Yes! End him! End him!
CM: He’s going to do it! Tier is going to end Nightmare!
JH: What has gotten into Tier?! These are men that followed him and admired him!
Hordes of officials and EMTs rush out from the back to try and save the Prince of Pain’s career and get for their efforts chair shots from Tier! The former Dual Crown Champion slips Nightmare’s leg in between the sides of the steel chair so it is over his fragile knee perfectly. He hits the ropes and comes back only to jump up and come crashing down with a senton splash onto the steel chair that snaps against Nightmare’s knee! The Revo member howls out and starts crying, Tier shaking his head as he rolls up onto his knee and motions that isn’t enough.
CM: …I think I’m in love.
JH: This is deplorable! He’s trying to cripple Nightmare!
CL: It’s like Christmas came late!
Gracefully the God of Violence picks up his chair and heads towards the closest corner, and starts to scale up it with as much grace as before. He goes up to the second buckle and teases going off of it only to climb up to the very top to some worried murmurs from the crowd in attendance. Like a bird he floats into the air and with the chair behind his legs goes for a top-rope Arabian press when suddenly Nightmare disappears from his place! The Immortal Eternal Red’s glare darts around and spots why, Rice is on the outside and helping the hoppling Nightmare to the back as he stares back with a conflicted expression at Tier.
JH: Thank goodness for Rice! Why is Tier so hell bent on seemingly getting rid of the remains of his own creation?!
CL: Who the fuck cares why, he was so close to freeing us of Nightmare!
CM: Gotta wonder if the big purple jerk will be ready in time for the main event!
Crackerjack walks, not struts, down the hall seemingly ready for his first shot at the Dual Crown championship. Along the way however he's called over for a sudden and abrupt interview by Rebecca Hunter.
Rebecca: Crackerjack, a moment of your time?
Rebecca, long in this, has learnt that even her looks alone could never get the big man to stop and take notice. Even when she tries to put on the charm it fails so this time she's trying a more direct approach. It works as Crackerjack stops and turns toward her.
Crackerjack: Shoot.
Rebecca: Well I, along with many others, were just wondering about your answer to Prime's challenge. I mean, it's been over a week since it was first laid out by Jesse and we haven't heard a single word about it from you. And I know a lot of fans are really looking forward to a more...proper setup between the two of you.
Crackerjack: Prime?
Crackerjack can't help but laugh a little at the sound of that name coming out of his own mouth.
Crackerjack: Let me tell you something, Rebecca...
Rebecca: Please do.
Crackerjack goes silent for a moment not really expecting that kind of interference in his speech. Nevertheless, Crackerjack continues on.
Crackerjack: I'm on my way to the biggest match of my career. Bigger than my UIC match against Momoko, bigger than my buried alive match against Elrick, bigger than...a match against Prime. This is my shot at finally becoming the top of this business and all you can ask me about is that...pathetic waste of talent? The guy's having more troubles in his relationship than I am with Elrick. And right now it's so pathetically obvious what's going on between him and Kennedy. Right now they're playing the "Oh I loved him, but he chose another woman. So please everyone pray that Prime will see the light and leave the woman whose obviously not right for him." It's getting repetitive and frankly, I think the fans have lost interest. And now, that's where the fans want me to step in. To hopefully save Prime's career from ending due to lackluster romances. So now the challenge has been laid out and to his challenge I say; forget him. I'm not going to lower myself to his level and hopes he "sees the light" and actually puts up a good fight. If he wants to waste the rest of his career dancing around two, sorry, three women, let him. I've got bigger things to contend with right now. Mainly my buried alive match against Elrick and my up and coming dual crown title shot.
Rebecca: So wait, are you saying we may never see a fair contest between yourself and Prime?
Crackerjack: I'll tell you what, because chances are you'd be one of the first to find out; when he grows a pair, then we'll talk.
Crackerjack seems finished with Rebecca and seemingly Prime as he continues on down the hall.
JH: “Our next match is for the Dual Crown Championship and we will see, Reject stable mates, Crackerjack and Kiyoshi Nakahata battling for Kiyoshi’s Dual Crown Championship belts.”
CL: “Many think that the Dual Crown Champion could be the splinter to come between a relationship but these two guys claim its business tonight and back to friends tomorrow.”
CM: “No matter the outcome this match is going to be fucking awesome.”
MA: “Now making his way to the ring. He is the challenger and hails from the Alleys of New York. He weighs in at a massive 319 pounds…..CRRRRRRAAACCCCKKKKEEEERRRRJJJJJAAACCCKKKK!!!!”
The first second of the song, all lights go out save a white flashing strobelight that comes on with each heavy bass beat. This happens for about ten seconds until the solo distorted guitar kicks in for the arrival of the monster that is Crackerjack. Jack's sheer size seems larger through semi darkness as his appearance even more frightening through the flashing strobe lights. He stands there for a moment before moving down through calypso given steel drum beats. Crackerjack slowly makes his way down to the ring making sure each step counts while looking around through different sections of the crowd one booing fan at a time. The white strobe lights slowly becoming a mixture of navy blue and a normal blue. Soon, the monster is ready to enter the ring. Instead of actually going in though, Crackerjack stands there and overlooks the ring from between the top and middle rope. In a quick instant, Crackerjack seizes the top rope and uses it to keep balance as he pulls his entire form up in one step to the apron. Still outside the ring, Crackerjack walks along the apron for a few steps before turning around and entering the ring over the top rope where the purple light that overshadows the ring awaits him. Now inside, the huge monstrosity of evil takes his time walking around the ring in a slow, yet methodical circle. Crackerjack continues to walk around as the normal houselights slowly overtake the purple cover.
CM: “Dare I say a lack of support showing by the almost ever present Onikage.”
CL: “Maybe they paper, rock, scissors before to see who he came down with.”
JH: “I think the champ likes to keep his advisor close to him at all times. Even if he is facing one of his own.”
With darkness' embrace of the entire building, a heart-beat starts up. Slowly, steadily, never ending until the warrior finally falls. On the ReVoltrons, each beat is marked by the impact of one of Kiyoshi Nakahata's trademark moves of a variety of opponents, FIW or otherwise. The cage, as ever it did, slowly fills up with smoke to mark the coming of the Yeti, and the soothing whisper of Trent Reznor sweeps through, backed by light tapping and silent screams.
Synthesisers add to the noise of the song, the heartbeat, and the the rising cheer subside a little. A cloaked, masked figure emerges from the smoke, turning the few residual cheers to something less admiring when the Sin of Sloth reveals his face. Onikage is not precisely loved around these parts. Especially when he is not the person advertised... Up on the ReVoltrons, Nakahata closes his eyes and lowers his mask…
MA: And his opponent, accompanied by the Morning Star, Onikage... Weighing in tonight at Two Hundred and Sixty pounds; from Komachi City, Aichi; He is Your Full Intensity Wrestling Dual Crown Champion... The Sin of Lust... NAKAHATA KI-YOOOOOOSSSSHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!
The introduction is snuck in a heartbeat before the chorus crackles away and is replaced by a cry taken up by the audience of 'Fuck Shit Up!' leading to an explosion obliterating the stage and the entrance way, leaving only two people in the building unmoved. One, the Saviour, who stands part way down the aisle, and Judo Senshi, white hair visible by the fact that his pyro blew down his hood. As he strides on towards the ring, destiny and whatever else; he stops at the top of the steps and raises the World Heavyweight Title clenched in his left fist; to resounding a roar from the fans to their countryman. That done, he tucks the strap into the Global Heavyweight Championship around his waist, pulls his hood up, and starts marching down to the ring so focused that the Morning Star even steps out of his way. By how thunderous guitars have replaced the synthesised riff that came before, and Max Cavalera's gutteral roar has replaced Trent Reznor's calm soft singing.
Reaching the ring, and ascending the steps, the real life Kiyoshi Nakahata removes the mask, handing out to Onikage as he strides around on the apron. He reaches his corner as the song reaches a climax, and unhitches the WHT, throwing it up one more time for the Japanese crowd, and on the phrase "Worst Enemy," does his customary vault up onto the top turnbuckle and sits down, pulling his hood right over his scarred face as the lights return...
JH: “We are only minutes away from this Cain and Abel like story.”
CM: “Please don’t start with the bible thumping.”
JH: “I’m not bible thumping. I’m just merely comparing this to a biblical story.”
CL: “Are you making implications that Crackerjack is jealous of Kiyoshi? Much like Cain was of Abel?”
JH: “Bah!!!.... forget it!”
As the match is preparing to get underway, official, Mark Jackson takes his aim toward Crackerjack to check him over for illegal objects. The whole time Crackerjack stares down at him maniacally making him nervous and cutting him short. He then makes a quick dash away from the monstrous challenger and moves to the champion himself. A quick pat down of Kiyoshi reveals nothing of the foreign nature. Jackson then requests both the Global Heavyweight belt and the World Heavyweight belt from Kiyoshi and folds the both neatly and drapes them across his arms before heading to the middle of the ring. He makes a beckon for both men to meet in the center of the ring where he explains the rules and shows Crackerjack what he is fighting for. Jackson then instructs both men back to their corner and raises one belt in each hand before heading to the ropes to hand them to a time keeper. Once his hands are free he calls for the opening bell and gets this match underway.
DING
DING
JH: “Here we go!”
As the bell is rang Onikage drops down to ring side and the two Reject members move toward the center of the ring but stop within feet of each other. For a moment it looks as though they are going to exchange a hand shake but that is thrown out the window the moment the two collide dead center in the ring unloading with a fury of punches and chops on each other. It is Crackerjack who gains the upper hand first and manages to block of chop from Kiyoshi. He counters this with a hard right hand in which Kiyoshi attempts to fire off another chop that is only blocked by the big man yet again and answered with a huge forearm shot to the jaw that sends Nakahata reeling.
Crackerjack follows in pushing Kiyoshi into the ropes and launching him across the ring toward the opposing ropes. As the champion rebounds off Crackerjack is looking to measure him up for a massive clothesline but is caught off guard as Kiyoshi goes air born with a kneel kick that plants a foot squarely into his chest causing him to stagger backwards into the turnbuckle. Nakahata moves quickly back for his feet and is met by Crackerjack who only seemed to be momentarily stunned by the kneel kick from his opponent. The two gladiators move back to the middle of the ring bumping chests briefly before locking up into a collar and elbow.
JH: “Neither Crackerjack or Nakahata holding back on the other.”
CM: “Onikage keeping a neutral stand point with both of his charges.”
Kiyoshi manages to break free first though holding onto one arm of Crackerjack and spins behind his opponent wrenching his arm up into a chicken wing. A brief moment is spent working on the arm causing Crackerjack to stoop over to alleviate some of the pressure being put on his limb. Seeing an opening Kiyoshi releases the arm and moves into a side headlock. Crackerjack wastes no time attempting to free himself from the clutches of the champion but cannot manage to slip free. Instead he gives him a slap to the ribs and then begins to back pedal moving the momentum of the two big men toward the ropes behind them. As they hit Crackerjack manages to pull himself free and with the recoil of the ropes pushes Kiyoshi running across the ring toward the opposing ropes. As Nakahata returns Crackerjack ducks down for a back body drop but as the champ returns he puts on the brakes and drives a hard knee up into his opponents face.
The Dual Crown champ then grabs his opponent by the back of the mask and repeatedly slams alternating knee strikes into Crackerjack’s masked mug. The fans let out with an ‘oooohhhh’ with each knee as they connect. Kiyoshi then wraps his hand under the front of the mask and brings his stable mate into a standing position before nailing him with a very stiff head butt. Crackerjack staggers in place and looks as though he’s clearly had his cage rattled. Kiyoshi then moves in after Crackerjack and hoists him up with a scoop slam and places him over his shoulder preparing for what appears to be a power slam. Though to his surprise Jack manages to shift his weight and drop down his back and lands on his feet behind the champion.
JH: “Crackerjack with the reversal.”
CM: “Look out Kiyoshi!”
CL: “Too late!”
Crackerjack bursts forward just as Kiyoshi turns to him and follows through until the champ is lying on his back. Cracker attempts to get back to his feet but is clearly still shaken from the knee strikes and head butt brought on by his opponent. He drops back down to a knee and holds his head for a moment before pushing back up to his feet as Kiyoshi rolls onto his stomach and begins to make the move back to his feet as well.
As Nakahata pushes up to his feet Crackerjack moves in cinching his arms around the mid section of the champion. Onikage on the outside applauds Crackerjack encouraging the competitive nature between the two reject members. Jack then within the blink of an eye hoists Nakahata off his feet and over his own head with a overhead belly to belly suplex that sends Nakahata to the mat with a thud and sends him skidding to the ropes. The champion pushes himself out the rest of the way taking a moment to collect himself and slides back into the ring before a count can even be established by Mark Jackson.
JH: “Kiyoshi taking a moment to collect his thoughts.”
CL: “Hardly. I think he knew he was one upped and bailed.”
As Kiyoshi moves back to his feet Crackerjack is there waiting swinging with a punch to the gut of the champion. However, Kiyoshi has other plans as he catches the arm and spins with it dragging Crackerjack to the mat with a Wakigatame and wrenches back on the arm attempting to cause his opponent to submit. Mark Jackson slides in to check on Crackerjack but the Reject is close enough to the ropes to grab hold and break the submission. As soon as Jackson instructs Kiyoshi to release he does as asked and moves back to a vertical base. On the mat Crackerjack rubs his arm and rolls up onto his side as Kiyoshi gives him some space to recover.
JH: “True sportsmanship there by Kiyoshi.”
Though the moment Crackerjack attempts to get back to his feet Nakahata is right there again grabbing Jack from behind and attempts to hoist him up for a German suplex. Jack blocks the first attempt and Kiyoshi powers in for another. Yet another block with the foot hooking around the champions leg and Crackerjack fires back with a hard elbow that connects with the bridge of Kiyoshi’s nose. This brings water to the champion’s eyes and he staggers back holding his nose as Crackerjack tries to turn this match in his favor. The big man charges forward looking for another clothesline…..
CM: “KIYOSHI DUCKS!”
JH: “Crackerjack anticipates Kiyoshi!”
As Crackerjack goes for the clothesline the champion ducks under. Jack does not hesitate for a moment and turns his momentum back at the champion and wraps his arms around his waist and brings him up for a release German suplex.
JH: “GERMAN SUUUUUPPPLLLEEXXXAHHHH!!!”
CL: “He landed on his fucking neck! Crackerjack is trying to cripple him.”
Not allowing his stable mate a moment to recover Crackerjack is right back over Kiyoshi and is picking him up to his feet. He hooks his arms over his opponents neck and then hoists him up into the air quickly and then with a great display of power moves out to the middle of the ring while still holding the champion vertically.
CM: “What is he doing?”
Crackerjack stalls for what seems like an eternity and the blood rushes to Nakahata’s face making him look like a hot house tomato. You then see the monsters legs kick out from underneath him and he bolts backward dropping the champ on the base of his neck.
JH: “BRAINBUSSSTTAAHHHHH!!!!”
CM: “He’s going for the pin! Kick out, Kiyoshi!”
Mark Jackson slides into position as Crackerjack drapes his body over the Dual Crown champions and hooks a leg. The official’s hand hits the mat as Onikage looks somewhat confused on the outside. He looks worried that the Kiyoshi’s reign could be coming to an end but also excited for Crackerjack.
…1
…2
…SHOULDER UP!!!!
Crackerjack appears to be frustrated but how can you really tell with his face being hid behind that mask all the time. He does not waste time and pulls Kiyoshi back to his feet and pulls him quickly across the ring by an arm and into the corner. The Dual Crown hits the turnbuckle firmly and the challenger follows in rapidly with a huge boot rising toward his face. At the last possible moment Kiyoshi makes a dive and runs down the ropes avoiding his clock getting cleaned by the enormous foot. Cracker instead gets his leg caught up over the top turnbuckle and leaves himself vulnerable to attack.
This is exactly what happens as Kiyoshi bolts from the side of Crackerjack and nails him with a stiff kick to the leg causing it to buckle underneath him. Kiyoshi then takes some distance as Jack attempts to make back to his feet and the champion comes charging forward and nails a huge spear. Both men go tumbling through the ropes and to the outside as the crowd who still remain silent get up on their feet to see the condition of the competitors.
CM: “Holy Shit! What a spear!”
JH: “All they need to worry about now is getting back into the ring before they are counted out.”
CL: “Or they can save all this back and forth bullshit and both get counted out.”
Mark Jackson begins the count out on the competitors as they both lay on the matted flooring. Crackerjack is apparently suffering from the impact and the topple to the ground where as Kiyoshi only seems slightly dazed and is moving around attempting to get to his feet.
1…
2…
3…
4…
Nakahata utilizes the ring steps to push himself back up to his feet and staggers over to Crackerjack who has rolled to his side. He lifts the big man up off the arena floor and moves toward the ring. He attempts to slam his head off the ring apron but Crackerjack still has some fight left in him and braces his arms firmly on the edge of the apron blocking the attack. He then rears his elbow back connecting the with ribs of Kiyoshi as the count continues.
5…
6…
He then turns and pummels Kiyoshi in the face with a hard right hand out that sends him staggering away from the ring. Crackerjack knowing that he cannot win the title via count out quickly goes after Nakahata and hurls him under the ropes and back into the ring. Kiyoshi is up to his feet first as Crackerjack brings his massive frame back into the vertical position.
CM: “HOLY SHIT!!!!”
JH: “SPACE MOUNTAIN KIIIYYYYOOOOSSHHIIIII!!!!”
Completely out of nowhere Kiyoshi hits his signature, STO planting his challenger face first into the mat. Crackerjack flops over onto his back and Nakahata scrambles to the cover as Onikage slaps his hands to the mat in support of both his wrestlers. The crowd are on their feet screaming at the top of their lungs as the Japanese wrestlers makes his cover after hitting this great move. Mark Jackson leaps over the pinfall attempt to get himself into position and brings his hand down for the count.
…1
…2
…2.5
…BURST OUT!!!
JH: “Can you believe it? He just kicked out of the Space Mountain Kiyoshi like it was a body slam!”
Crackerjack surprisingly gets moving to his feet quicker than most would expect and he does not look like he is playing anymore. Kiyoshi is to his feet as well but neither of them notices that they have a visitor in the form of “The High Spot Sensation” making his way onto the entrance stage. The Grand Prix Championship is strapped tightly around his waist as he stops at the top of the ramp and watches the action in the ring.
JH: “What is his deal? Does he not know he can’t just show up when he feels like it?”
CM: “Actually he is the Grand Prix Tournament Champion. He very well could have business out here since the champ is in the ring.”
CL: “Any change of pace would be greatly welcome. I’m growing bored of watching these two.”
Kiyoshi attempts to slow the adrenaline rush of Crackerjack down with a palm strike but the big man brushes it off and gives Kiyoshi a hearty shove backwards. This sends the champion staggering and gives Crackerjack the opening to charge forward and nearly take the face off of his opponent with a huge boot to the face. Kiyoshi collapses into a seated position and sits there for several moments with a dazed look on his face.
Jack moves lumbers in after his opponent grabbing him by the arms and drives a hard knee into the center of his spine before spinning him over so that his body is facing the mat. Crackerjack finds a seated position and wraps his opponent’s arms over his thighs and hooks his hand around the chin of Kiyoshi. He leans back with all his weight and the camel clutch locked in. As Mark Jackson moves in to check for a choke and also to see if Kiyoshi wants to continue, Ethan Adams begins to make his decent down to the ring getting a closer look at the action.
JH: “He could have watched the match just fine from up there.”
CL: “He’s doing what any good contender would do. He is scouting the champion and his challengers. You never know when you may have to face any of them on any given night.”
Jackson asks Kiyoshi again if he wants to give up but instead of answering verbally he does physically as he musters up the strength to move his arms forward and push his body up to relieve some of the weight off the small of his back. Crackerjack sees the struggle coming and relinquishes the hold and pulls Kiyoshi up to his feet quickly. Ethan still watching on intently passes by Onikage who just watches him closely as he makes his way to the announce booth. Chip Martin gets to his feet promptly and picks up a spare head set and hands it to the ‘First Wonder of the World’. Ethan places it on his head as Crackerjack places a hard boot to the stomach of Kiyoshi.
CM: “Welcome to the announce booth Ethan!”
Ethan: “Thank you, Chip. Glad you could have my presence.”
JH: “I sure hope you are here to cash in that title shot, Ethan. If not your wasting our time by being out here.”
Ethan: “Whoa! What’s with the hostility, Hitchen? ETHAN ADAMS is a vital part of this show and the fans want to see as much of me as possible.”
JH: “Why couldn’t you just…..”
Just as Jonathan appears to be asking Ethan an important question, Crackerjack signals for one of his signature moves and wraps his hands around the throat of Kiyoshi.
CM: “VISIONS OF NELL! We could have a new champion.”
CL: “Keep a close watch Ethan. This could be the guy you are facing for the title.”
Just before the move is pulled off Kiyoshi bursts his arms apart and battles forward with a series of palm strikes and then a big head butt. He then wraps his arm in and pulls his opponent off his feet as the crowd comes unglued.
JH: “Uuuuuuurrrrrraaaaaanaggggggggeeeee!!!!!”
Ethan: “Gotta go!”
JH: “What’s he doing?”
Ethan gets up quickly from the announce table and sets down the headset. Kiyoshi drives Crackerjack into the mat firmly and rolls up onto his chest planting both knees over his challenger’s shoulders and reaches back grabbing his legs. He leans forward putting as much weight on the shoulders as possible as Mark Jackson lunges in and begins slapping his hands to the mat as Ethan watches from ringside.
…1
JH: “What is he doing?”
CM: “Don’t worry about him. He’s harmless.”
…2
JH: “Harmless my ASS!”
CL: “Wow! Hitchen…you swore!”
…3
Just after Jackson slaps his hand to the mat for the final of the count he motions to the time keeper to ring the bell. Kiyoshi nods to Onikage on the outside of the ring and then notices Ethan on the outside and locks his eyes on him as he breathes heavily from the hard fought match.
DING
DING
DING
Onikage slides in the ring with the Dual Crown champion and both keep their eyes locked in on Ethan as Mark Jackson raises Kiyoshi’s hand in victory and Michael Anderson announces him victorious.
MA: “Ladies and Gentlemen….Your winner by pinfall and STILL…FIW DUAL CROWN CHAMPIOONNNNN! KIIIYYYYOOOOOSSSSHIIIII NAAAAAKKKKAAAAAHHHHHAAATTTTAAAA~!!!!!!”
Just after he is officially declared the winner Ethan slides into the ring and Mark Anderson lowers Kiyoshi’s hand and questions Ethan of his arrival. Ethan ignores the official and steps in to Kiyoshi even more placing his hands down around the lower edges of the belt and cracking a small smile.
JH: “It looks like he’s going to cash his title shot in. What a coward! Can’t you challenge him when he’s fresh?”
CM: “He hasn’t said he’s cashing it in yet.”
CL: “We are going to find out right now. Jackson is asking him.”
As Crackerjack begins to stir and begins pulling himself up on the ropes. Official, Mark Jackson stands in front of Ethan and flat out asks him.
Mark Jackson: “Are you going to cash it in?”
Still Ethan does not answer the ref and just reaches behind his back and slowly begins to unsnap the first set of buttons on the belt. The whole time Ethan and Kiyoshi keep their eyes locked on each other and Onikage keeps his eyes on what Ethan is doing behind his back.
CL: “Right now would not be the time to try something stupid, Ethan. Even though Crackerjack is still out of it….He probably has enough fight left in him to defend his stable mate.”
Still moving incredibly slow and keeping his eyes locked in on Kiyoshi, Ethan manages to unsnap the first set of snaps but is interrupted when he sees a figure bolting down the ramp.
JH: “PRIME!!!!!”
CM: “Where the hell did he come from?”
CL: “I don’t know but he’s carrying a big fucking pipe!”
Prime is like a runaway freight train as he approaches the ring and slides straight into the ring with the large lead pipe clutched in his large meat hook of a hand. He moves to his feet and begins swinging wildly for the fences not caring one bit whom he takes out in the process.
JH: “HE ALMOST TOOK CRACKERJACK’S HEAD OFF!”
CL: “Luckily for Crackerjack, Kiyoshi and Onikage made the save and pulled him out of the ring.”
As the Reject’s make their way out of the ring and head backstage, Prime charges at Ethan who wants nothing of it and hops over the top rope and then drops down to the floor where he jumps the security barrier and makes his way to the audience much to the crowds pleasure.
This leave Prime in the ring looking like a caged and hungry lion who can’t decide between what meal he wants, Ethan Adams or Kiyoshi and Crackerjack.
Jaime Lee stands just a little ways away from the backstage entrance area prepping herself up for the upcoming match against the amazon of a woman.
Woman: Hey! Hey you!
Jaime, who was in the midst of stretching her legs and side muscles, straightens herself out when she notices a redheaded woman coming toward her holding a photo in one hand. The woman, clearly one Shawni Tifftin, places the photo back in her pocket before getting right in Jaime's face.
Shawni: You're her, aren't you? That bitch who thinks she can be Roxie's rival.
Jaime, clearly not comfortable having Shawni right in her face, looks around feeling a little awkward. Shawni takes this as her response.
Shawni: Yea, I thought it was you. Listen you little hussy, the role of Roxie's rival is already taken.
Jaime: Roxie is the one that--
Shawni waves a hand in Jaime's face cutting her off. Shawni, who was looking away to the floor shaking her head, now looks back up at Jaime looking as though she has the intent to slap her across the face.
Shawni: I don't really care about your excuses. Just stop, alright? I mean, you can do that, can't you? I know this place must be full of numb skull brutes like yourself, but I'm sure while that may be the case you have at least enough cells up in your head to form common sense.
That's when Shawni looks Jaime up and down almost as if disgusted about something.
Shawni: You certainly don't have enough to tell good fashion sense. Seriously, did you just--
As if on some sort of cue, Shawni's cell phone begins to ring from the inside of her purse. Pulling it out, Shawni gives the display a quick glance before opening it up. Suddenly, she seems full of pep and vinegar.
Shawni: Hello? Oh hi! Can you give me a moment? Kinda busy.
Shawni stands there silent for a moment staring at Jaime. Shawni now grows unsure as to if Jaime understood what she was talking about. After pointing toward Jaime, Shawni makes a little walking motion with her fingers down the hall.
Shawni: I'm trying to talk with a friend here, so...privacy?
Jaime still doesn't budge. Shawni shakes her head and rolls her eyes as she lets out a sigh.
Shawni: Whatever. Gawd.
Shawni's then takes the walk acting all cheery once again on her cell leaving Jaime to shake her own head slowly as she goes back into her warm up routine.
MA: The following is a Horrorcore Rules match scheduled for one fall and it is for the FIW HELLCAT DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP!
The house lights fade into darkness, sending a quiet murmur throughout the arena. Heavy drum beats spark the stage lights to life, the rainbow of strobes following as the vocals of “Burn” by the Luchagors kick into the PA system. Jaime skips out onto the stage shortly after with her Hellcat Division Championship over her shoulder. She playfully flips her hair up before raising the championship with both hands above her head. She trots down the stairs, continuing to skip down towards the ring, grinning and holding the championship up proudly along the way.
MA: Introducing first, making her way to the ring from Ohio, she is your HELLCAT DIVISION CHAMPION… JAAAAYYYMMMMEEE LLLLLEEEE!!!
JH: There is the champion and it is so good to see her with that championship back in her possess.
CL: Don’t expect to see it much longer.
CM: Yes. Because the odds are most certainly not in her favor tonight.
JH: While I do agree somewhat, I’ve yet to see Jaime back down from any challenge.
CM: Don’t mean she’ll overcome it. She’ll just run full-force into the brick wall.
Jaime ducks in under the bottom rope, flinging her hair back as she raises her head with a grin from ear to ear. She pops up to her feet and steps into the nearest turnbuckle, blowing a kiss to the fans in the front row and then leaping up to the middle turnbuckle. Once again she flings her hair back as she raises her head and shoots an arm up into the air with the Hellcat Division Championship held in her grasp. Ending the photo op, she jumps back down to the canvas and skips across to the other side of the ring, once again raising the championship up into the air. Her smile fades more than usual as she passes her championship off to the referee and backs into her turnbuckle, ready to get very serious for the upcoming contest.
JH: A somber look on the champion’s face tonight and I can’t say I blame her in the least.
The lights dim and that infamous decades old music plays over the sound system of the arena much to the dismay of most of the fans and to the delight of a few nerds. Swiftly the curtain is thrown back and Paper Bag Man steps out onto the stage, and holds the curtain open for the others. Next to step out onto the stage gains a thunderous jeers from the fans as Smarty Smark struts out and takes several bows to his adoring public. He then spins around on his heels and claps, pointing to the gigantic female that walks out from the back next with a snarl. Smarty produces a microphone from his back pocket, standing atop the entrance stage with the Amazon towering next to him.
Smarty Smark: Ladies and gentleman! Allow me to introduce to you the NEXT HELLCAT DIVISION CHAMPION… OF THE WWOOOOORRRLLLDD!! HEMBRA MONSTRUO!
The crowd’s booing is almost unnoticed from Smarty, who has a slimy grin on his face as he stares with glee at Hembra’s challenge in the ring. The trio walk down the walk way, Hembra in the lead as Smarty struts behind her and applauds her as PBM hangs behind shaking his head at his boss' antics. Smarty slaps PBM over the head and shoves him forward, PBM catches himself and hops up onto the apron before the other two. He stands up on the bottom rope and pushes down on the top rope so their monstrous client easily steps over it and Smarty tries to do the same only to fall face first. After brushing himself off, Smarty continues to applaud & hype up his client while she stands in her assigned corner and growls, lifting up her massive arms to jeers.
JH: Smarty Smark! You have got to be kidding me!
CM: Hembra Monstruo? Even it’s name doesn’t clarify that it’s really a woman!
CL: Not all women are Barbies, Chip. You’d do well to learn that.
JH: I just want to know how Smarty Smark has gained some kind of control of this monstrous woman. What? Was using Extreme Ninja #2 to steal the Cruiserweight Title from Jaime’s sister not enough for this man?
CM: Ha! I almost forgot about that. Speaking of Barbies. Haha!
While we’re on the topic of hot blondes… “Dare” by the Gorillaz hits the speakers, drawing the attention of everyone in the ring. To no one’s surprise, out steps the hellcat champion wannabe Roxie Galanoochie, flanked by the Men In Black. Actually, it’s not Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones. It looks more like hired thugs from Daisuke Tanaka. It looks like that because that’s what it is. Roxie stands with her hands on her hips, simply watching the hellcats in the ring.
DING-DING
Once Smarty and PBM are forced from the ring, Logan Black calls for the bell. Jaime immediately bursts out of her corner NAILING Hembra with a flying forearm that… barely budges the behemoth woman. Jaime’s eyes widen as Hembra glares down at the champ with a snarl on her face. Jaime immediately begins throwing right hands that are pretty much shrugged off. Last ditch effort comes when Jaime backs off the ropes… RIGHT INTO A BIG-TIME CLOTHESLINE FROM HEMBRA!
JH: And there is what I expect to be the tone for this match.
CL: Like I said, goodbye Hellcat Championship.
CM: I thought when Jaime beat Drake, men lost their chance at this title. Come on, I want to see Jaime vs. Roxie in a pudding match!
Hembra drags Jaime up by her brown locks, snapping her back over to the canvas with a snapmare, followed up with a hard kick to the spine! Hembra goes off the ropes BLASTING JAIME IN THE FACE WITH A THRUST KICK! Jaime barely has time to register what’s going on before Hembra leaps up onto the air and lands a hard knee drop!
JH: It’s almost like Hembra is toying with Jaime here.
CL: Wouldn’t you in the same position? Let’s face facts, Jaime is not in Hembra’s league here.
JH: I don’t agree with that statement at all.
CL: Look at the size difference!
CM: Size matters!
Hembra grabs another handful of Jaime’s hair, getting a stern warning from Logan Black that gets a glare from Hembra. I doubt Logan would even have the balls to DQ Hembra in this match. His warning, however, does distract Hembra long enough for Jaime to knock away Hembra’s hand and SMACK her upside the face with a wild right hand. Maybe it was the fire in Jaime or maybe Hembra was caught off guard but the blow actual knocks the Amazon back a couple steps. She immediately retaliates with a quick step across the ring and another powerful clothesline… that Jaime ducks! She hooks Hembra’s arm in the process and then reaches back SNAPPING HER DOWN TO THE CANVAS WITH A NECKBREAKER!
JH: A big time neckbreaker from Jaime! The first big move in the contest and I have to say I’m surprised it came from Jaime.
CL: I think everyone’s surprised. I didn’t expect to see Jaime take this woman down at all.
CM: She’s fought men before. This can’t be much different.
Jaime immediately rolls over into a cover but Hembra POWERS out of it! Jaime goes flying up in the air before landing back on the canvas with a look of surprise on her face as Hembra sits up. She cracks her neck and then climbs back to her feet. Jaime tries another right hand but Hembra comes back with a forearm strike that sends her backwards. Another one and another one backs Jaime towards the corner. Hembra nails a big open handed chop before whipping Jaime full force across the ring! Jaime slams back first into the turnbuckle and slumps down slightly from the impact. Like a train Hembra chugs across the ring at her full speed SLAMMING SHOULDER-FIRST INTO THE TURNBUCKLE AS JAIME DIVES ASIDE AT THE LAST SECOND!
JH: Jaime’s using her speed in her favor her tonight and that’s a good strategy thus far.
CM: Yeah but how long can you outrun Godzilla before he finally eats you?
Jaime grabs Hembra’s arm, wringing it before wrenching it down aggressively. Another aggressively wrench works that shoulder over even more before Jaime starts slugging away at Hembra’s shoulder! Hembra uses her other arm and shove Jaime away, but the hellcat keeps a vice hold on Hembra’s wrist, coming back with a shoulder tackle that almost gets a howl from the Amazon. Jaime’s luck runs to an end when Hembra snarls out in pain as she uses her sore shoulder to whip Jaime RIGHT OVER THE TOP ROPE!
JH: What’s it going to take to put this Hembra down? Even with obvious pain in that shoulder she still uses it like it’s nothing!
CL: I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that she likes the pain.
Luckily for Jaime she manages to hang onto the ropes and land on her feet on the apron. Hembra’s immediately on this, charging full-force at Jaime… who steps aside. She uses the ropes to throw her legs up around Hembra’s neck, choking the Amazon out! Using her leg strength Jaime pulls down with everything she has, flipping Hembra from the ring to the floor below! Jaime takes a moment to catch her breath while Hembra slowly pushes her large form upright. As soon as Jaime sees an opening she flies off the ring apron with a Lou Thesz Press… that Hembra catches! Hembra roars out her dominance as she charges Jaime RIGHT INTO THE RING POST!
JH: Jesus! Even Jaime’s highflying advantages doesn’t seem to be getting her far. Hembra is just too strong to take down!
CM: Where’s that little Ninja boy that could when you need him, huh?
Hembra’s grin almost matches Smarty’s as the Amazon drags Jaime up off the ground. With ease she lifts the champion up in a military position… or, at least you’d think it’d be with ease. But her shoulder comes into play and she drops Jaime before she can fully get her upright, clutching her shoulder with a grimace. Jaime manages to land on her feet, thanks to the apron helping her stay upright and buries a toe kick into Hembra’s stomach! Jaime pushes past Hembra, doing the unthinkable and snapping up a chair at ringside. Jaime yells out as she throws the chair as hard as she can right into Hembra’s injured shoulder!
CL: Horrorcore rules coming into play! It’s unusual to see Jaime initiate that.
JH: It’s unusual to see Jaime defending her title against someone as dominant as Hembra.
The Amazon continues to clutch her shoulder as she attempts to put some distance between herself and the hellcat of a champion. Smarty and PBM keep their distance but Smarty is more than vocal about his orders in Hembra to take Jaime out. The pain in Hembra’s arm is all it takes for the Amazon to know she has to get some space if she’s going to regain her control in this contest. But that doesn’t look luckily when Jaime grabs the steel chair back up and swings it full force into Hembra’s arm!
JH: You can see the fire in Jaime here now. She just got that title back and she has no intentions of letting Hembra take it in her first match here tonight.
CM: We all remember what little good man-made weapons did against Godzilla, don’t we? Or am I thinking of someone else? I don’t know, I’m not a sci-fi nerd!
Hembra continues her quest for distance but Jaime stays right on her, following the Amazon around the ring with hard chair shot to the shoulder after the other. The competitors make it to the entrance walkway when Hembra reaches out, blocking a chair shot attempt by swatting the chair out of Jaime’s hands! Jaime is barely fazed, throwing a toe kick into Hembra’s stomach, followed by a hard right hand!
CL: Jaime is definitely on fire here tonight. I’m surprised to see her actually have Hembra reeling here!
JH: I don’t like the fact they’re getting closer to Roxie and her goons. I don’t trust her one bit.
Jaime scoops up the chair once against and throws it seat-first into Hembra’s face! With an animalistic growl, Hembra turns her back on Jaime and seems to be throwing in the towel on this contest? It’s anyone’s guess but Hembra is marching up the walkway towards the stage. Just as Hembra reaches the steps, she gets some extra baggage in the forms of Jaime on her back! Jaime locks in a sleeper hold but Hembra actually continues up the steps with all of Jaime’s weight on her back!
JH: Look at the strength of this Amazonian Hembra! It’s like Jaime isn’t even on her!
Atop the entrance stage, Roxie and her goons actually back off and watch the ongoing battle between the champ and the challenger. Jaime rakes Hembra’s eyes as she drops down off her back. She grabs Hembra up in a headlock and runs her across the stage… getting thrown face first into a ReVoltron when Hembra shoves her off!
CL: Hembra still in this enough to counter a bulldog attempt from Jaime.
CM: Imagine if she had bulldogged Hembra into the concrete stage? It definitely would’ve been over.
Jaime shakes off the impact going right back at Hembra with whatever she can hit her with. Right hands, forearm strikes, elbow shots, toe kicks… Jaime is all over Roxie. With Hembra dazed and confused like a Mortal Kombat competitor right when you hear “FINISH HER!” Jaime does indeed that! She spins and NAILS A BACK ROUNDHOUSE THAT HEMBRA DUCKS!
JH: Hembra dodges the back roundhouse kick from Jaime!
Not only that, but the minute Jaime’s foot lands on the ground Hembra roars out and SPEARS JAIME RIGHT OFF THE STAGE!
JH: GOOD SWEET CHRIST!
CM: Hembra just took Jaime AND HERSELF off the stage!
Logan Black leaps down into the tech equipment mess that Jaime and Hembra both lay tangled up in. He quickly checks both competitors before waving his arms wildly and calling for help from the back. Officials and EMTs pour out to stage area, dividing up into who is going to check on who. Logan Black makes his way back up onto the stage, whispering something to Michael Anderson, who has made his way down.
MA: Ladies and gentleman, I have just been informed that neither competitor are able to continue and this match is A DRAW!!
The crowd boo and hiss at the outcome while the hellcats are continued to be checked on. But luckily for them, Roxie gives him a new reason to hiss and boo. She steps up to Logan Black, jerking the Hellcat Championship out of his hands! With a proud grin on her face, the blonde raises the championship up into the air to a… applause? From her goons, yes. Everyone else is booing the sight of Roxie holding the championship up like she won it.
JH: What the hell is Roxie doing? This match was a draw! Jaime retains as a result.
CM: You gotta admit, she looks good with that belt, Hitchen.
JH: I prefer Jaime with it, honestly.
Logan Black pleads and argues with Roxie, who eventually relinquishes the championship back to him with an aggravated look on her face. Smarty Smark finally makes his way up the walkway just as Extreme Ninja #2 rushes out from backstage. The former partners(?) meet at the foot of the stairs, Ninja glaring at Smarty (or at least I assume that’s the look he’s giving from behind his mask) as the former manager grins smugly at him. Ninja shoulder checks Smarty as she pushes past him and hurries over to the EMTs checking on Jaime.
CM: There’s the little Ninja boy that could!
JH: And we can’t forget the history between Ninja and Smarty. I’m surprised we didn’t see another match there just now.
Smarty makes his way over to the mess, yelling at the EMTs to help Hembra. Yet when they actually do try to put a precautionary neck brace on the Amazon, she surprisingly sits upright! The EMTs fall back in surprise, eyeing her warily as her snarling features focus on Jaime.
CM: Holy shit! Even that didn’t take her down?
JH: This woman is scary, folks!
Drawing away from all of the in-ring shenanigans, the scene opens elsewhere - a private dressing room, to be precise. All the standards are there; a large mirror surrounded by lights, a make-up table and a number of fancy costumes hanging on a rail at the far side of the room. Relatively standard showbiz stuff. Positioned next to the table is a large leather chair, with the back aimed toward the camera, preventing a view of the occupant.
Voice: "Just when you thought all the fun and games were gone, and it was safe to walk the streets, another cliché comes running around the corner to smack you in the face."
Slowly, the seat spins around to reveal Ash Koopa, looking slightly amused with jazz hands in full effect. Wearing red trousers and a purple t-shirt, the colours contrast painfully in the bright light of the dressing room. Though not quite as painful as his face, which is somewhat hidden beneath a thick layer of foundation, topped with an intense red lipstick that scrawls off to his ear on the left side and thick mascara that appears to have run, leaving black streaks down his cheeks.
Ash: "I'm coming back. The Ol' 'Maniac is coming back to Eff-Aye-Dubya for a new season this Winter. So tune in next week, boys and girls of the world, and I'll tell you why. I might even bring some candy too.."
That said, Ash throws his head back in mock laughter and gently spins the chair around, turning his back to the camera. He then throws his head forward and keeps it down, out of view. Then, the scene fades.
JH: We go from one match that went into total anarchy to one that may very well be just that too!
CL: Especially whether Grimace can compete again tonight is extremely questionable.
CM: What does that mean then?
JH: Well…I suppose it would mean it would need to be forfeited by the Revolution or maybe rescheduled.
CL: I prefer the forfeit option personally.
CM: I don’t know, Rice is decent.
JH: This entire concept has shown how even the tag teams in the division truly are with each other despite the Zaibatsu’s tactics.
CL: Don’t hate the playas, hate the game Bitchen.
CM: Straight, yo!
MA: Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is the scheduled main event for this edition of Friday Night ReVolt! It will be the third and final match of the FIW Tag Team Round Robin Challenge and has been granted a one hour time limit with one fall to a finish! Your official for this bout is the senior referee of Full Intensity Wrestling, Tony Clarke…and it is for the Full Intensity Wrestling Tag Team Championships of the World!
At first the arena is filled with the faint sound of chugging guitars. The music grows louder, building up into a faster more powerful rhythm. Lights begin to flash white and red as all attention turns to the entryway.
The two members of HARDCORE SEX appear at the entryway with Onikage, posing for the fans. Steve is his usual sullen, silent self, staring intently at the ring, preparing himself mentally for the upcoming match, fists clenched, jaw tight. Felix, on the other hand, totally hams it up, blowing kisses to the crowd, pumping his arms and flexing his muscles. FIW's Morning Star is smiling and waving to the fans along with Felix as a hand rests on Steve's shoulder to comfort his tortured soul.
As the duo make their way to the ring with their advisor, Steve walks forward with a determined pace, his breathing steadily increasing. Felix bounces like a kid with two much sugar, strutting to the music, pursing his lips and rubbing his nipples.
As they arrive at the ring, Felix hops on to the apron and raises the ropes for Steve like a wrestler would do for his valet. Steve ignores this and slides into the ring under the bottom rope. The leader of the Rejects staying at the ringside area and pacing around it, his eyes and smile focusing on his charges inside the ring.
Both men wait in the ring as their poppy rock theme fades out, Steve folding his arms and cracking his neck as Felix continues to work the crowd, shaking the ropes and dancing back and forth.
CL: Great, he’s now back with them.
CM: Hmm, freaks or dorks…man, this is a hard choice as to who I want to win.
JH: I’d personally take the dork-erm! Talented and honorable athletes over the so-called freaks!
As "Kick Yo' Ass" pounds through the arena speakers and red stage lights pulsing to the music, Grant Rice bursts onto the stage, hand in the air proudly presenting the Revolution's hand sign to a roar from the crowd as they jump to their feet on sight of the Kansas City native. He lowers his arm as he quickly pops his neck on his way down the aisle. He reaches the ring, hoping onto the apron before entering between the ropes. Once in the ring, Grant heads to the corner where he hops up once again proudly displaying The Revolution hand sign with one hand as he points to the logo on his jersey with the other, flashbulbs washing over him. He quickly slides his jersey off and chucks it into the crowd, watching the females in the crowd fight over it before hoping down, ready to go.
CM: Um…guys…where’s Nightmare?
JH: Grant Rice can’t be thinking of doing what I think he’s doing! If Nightmare is too hurt to wrestle he should just forfeit or hope that it’ll be rescheduled!
CL: Well, looks like he is doing what you think he is doing as he’s got all three title belts on.
MA: Introducing first the challengers, they are representing the Rejects and are accompanied by the FIW’s Morning Star, Onikage. They weigh in at a combined weight of two hundred and twenty pounds …HE! IS! FELIX ARROYO~!!! AND~! HE! IS! STEVE PATTERSON~!!! …and…THEY! ARE! HAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDCOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRE SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEXXXXXXXXXXXXX~!!!
The fans politely applaud the Rejects who glare across the ring at Rice, both of them looking rough after the events of earlier. Felix even doesn’t bother to play up to the crowd as they continues to stretch and look like they are doing their best Kiyoshi impressions.
MA: Introducing the champions…uh…champion, he represents the Revolution and weighs in at two hundred and forty eight pounds…He is your reigning Full Intensity Wrestling Undisputed International Champion and one half of the Full Intensity Wrestling Tag Team Champions of the World…HE! IS! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNT RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCE~!!!
With a deep breath Grant Rice throws his fist with the UIC in it into the air to applause & cheers from the fans for his guts. Slowly he unhooks the two tag team championships from around his waist as he remains focused on the challengers & hands the belts over to Clarke.
DING DING DING~!!!
Tony looks on in surprise when both members of Hardcore Sex rush forward and nail a double team lariat on Rice that knocks him off of his feet. Immediately they start stomping the man that is one half of the current champions and are going berserk on him without a regard! Face, neck, shoulders, arms, midsections and every where else they can land their feet on they strike as Grant tries to bring his arms up to cover & shield himself. Onikage roars out an order in Japanese and the two men stop stomping on the champion to start to pull him back up onto his feet as Clarke tries to get control again.
JH: Hardcore Sex have had to sit back there nearly the entire night after such a crushing loss and it’s clear they are ready to redeem themselves!
CL: Meh…
CM: Still haven’t decided which is the lesser evil yet…
It is the Emo half of Hardcore Sex that places the champion on his knee and holds him there as the Homosexual half races towards the ropes. He springs off of them and comes back to the other two only to leap up and spin around in midair to hit a butt bump straight to the face of Rice! Arroyo wastes no time getting up onto Grant and locks him into a camel clutch which allows Patterson to hit the ropes like his partner & hits a dropkick to the face of Grant! Steve zips at Felix who helps him kick off and nail a somersault moonsault on the Revo member and then right after hits a standing senton splash on him too!
CL: Damn, those idiots are demolishing Grant!
CM: Love for crazy stuff leaning towards the freaks…
JH: Hardcore Sex better be careful or they might get disqualified!
Despite Hitchen’s concern, Clarke has seemingly given up on trying maintaining order and is just letting the two Rejects and the champion go at it. Even with all the abuse he took Rice starts to push up off of the ground and tries to get back up to his feet and Hardcore Sex ends that with a stereo elbow drop! Felix locks in a double armed chicken wing with a bridge which leaves Grant wide open for a standing shooting star press from Steve Patterson! The duo roll the Revo member over and dog pile him for the cover as Tony drops down to make the count while the fans applaud.
CM: Yup, the freaks are the ones I’m rooting for!
JH: I don’t normally say this but…please…Grant…stay down for your own good.
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CL: I’ll repeat myself, meh.
CM: Their flips are cool even if they are freaks!
TW-NO! KICK OUT!
JH: Grant…
CL: Guy isn’t going down easily.
Both Hardcore Sex members look like a mixture of silent rage and amazement that isn’t it and instantly start to bring the Revo member back up to his feet. Unluckily for them Grant fires two elbows straight to their midsections to get them to double over slightly as they grab their guts. Japan’s fans cheer and applaud Rice and their support builds up the fire in him more and more as he launches elbow strike after elbow strike onto Hardcore Sex! Every one lands and sends the Rejects reeling much to the disapproval of their advisor and leader out on the outside of the ring who watches on.
JH: He just won’t die! He’s fighting back!
CL: …Yawn…
CM: No! Come on flipping freaks!
With Hardcore Sex on wobble legs in the center of the ring Grant runs at the ropes behind him and bounces off of them, and comes running back at them. Misfortune strikes for the Revo member because Felix and Steve throw up a collective double knee lift straight into his midsection to derail his plan! Throwing an arm each over their necks, they both wrap a arm each around his and grab some pants to double snap suplex him almost out of his timberlands! Impressively they roll over completely and yank him back up with them without releasing the set-up and perform a second double snap suplex on him!
CL: Joy…
CM: That’s more like it!
JH: Oh! Grant was so close!
Amazingly Rice rolls up onto his knees and starts trying to get back up to his feet with his aching body as Hardcore Sex get up to their feet and notice him. Patterson throws a punch to knock him down…except the tag champion stays on his knees and absorbs the blow to try, and continue to get up! Felix throws a punch too and it doesn’t faze Grant and neither does Steve’s second punch that like the two before it try to knock Grant down! Revo’s healthy half glares up at them and actually challenges them to try and stop him, and they start delivering a flurry of punches at the same time onto him!
CM: Don’t bother with this nonsense!
JH: Grant Rice isn’t leaving his knees! He refuses to fall!
CL: Wonderful…
Third and fourth, fifth, and sixth and seventh, and so on of punches rain down and connect with the cranium of the champion who keeps still. In fact, the Revo member starts to get up onto his feet and does that very thing though their punches leave him a little shaky. The next pair of punches he blocks with his arms and snaps his head forward hastily twice to head butt both of the Rejects as hard as he can! He doesn’t let them get too far away, Grant goes up to them when they get far enough away and takes them both down with a flying double lariat!
JH: Grant is recovering!
CL: Is this over ye-
CM: Shush.
Kipping up to his feet, Steve races at his foe only to get a belly to belly suplex for his troubles that almost sends him out of the ring it sends him so far! Likewise when Felix gets to his feet he gets the pleasure of feeling a fisherman suplex from the champion to applause and cheers from the fans in attendance. Before he can get up fully, the Revo member hooks Patterson’s arms and nails a perfect butterfly suplex on the Emo Kid to more applause & cheers! Grant pumps his fists into the air to play up to the crowd and waits eagerly for one of his opponents to get back up to their feet as Onikage roars at them!
CL: Can’t the sheep fucker try to be more quiet?
CM: …Maybe?
JH: Lord! It looks like we have a suplex bargain sale going on!
Similar to what he did to Steve; Rice snatches up the Fierce One before he can fully get to his feet and takes him right off of them with a sleep walker suplex! It’s several seconds till either of the Hardcore Sex members get back up to their feet again and it starts to show on the tag champion in the ring with them. Adrenaline wearing thin, Grant is a little sluggish in his charge towards Patterson when he gets to his feet and Grant goes up behind him & wraps a rear waist lock in! Just when he’s about to toss him into another suplex the Emo Kid gives him a elbow right to the face several times over & gets the hold broken!
CM: He was trying for that german but the freak saved him!
JH: No more bodies being tossed around the ring it would seem.
CL: Such a shame…
In a stagger the tag champion finds the ropes and leans into them which prompts Patterson to dash at him only to get tossed up and over in a backdrop! Incredibly the Reject lands on his feet on the apron and clubs Rice with a forearm strike that sends him stumbling away from the ropes. He walks right into Felix’s welcoming arms who give him an embrace in the form of an introverted lung blower that drives Felix’s knees into his chest! Back on the right page, Arroyo rolls away quickly as the Emo Kid sling shots back into the ring with a complete three hundred & sixty degree leg drop to the throat!
JH: Darn! After coming so close to making a come back!
CL: Aren’t you going to say he’s not out yet though or some thing cliché’ like that?
CM: Alright! The freaks are back in the driver’s seat!
The duo gets back up to their feet and gives the Revo member a few more stomps to the head and neck with their anger showing through again. After a quick discussion between the two Arroyo wraps his arms around Rice’s waist from behind in a rear waist lost and uses it to hoist him slowly back up onto his feet on a vertical base. While Patterson goes over to the near-by corner and scales up it as hastily as he can get his body to move at this point with the punishment it’s taken. Seeing what’s in his future, Grant tries to fight out of it with elbows to Felix’s face though in the end tastes the dropkick & german suplex combination & a dog pile cover again!
CL: Oh look, the Happy Ending.
CM: Yay!
1!
JH: Grant Rice put up a valiant effort but I think this may be it…
CL: No shit, ya think?
2!
CM: This has been insane! This has been the most titles changes we’ve seen by the tag titles in the shortest amount of time!
JH: I believe you may be right, Chip!
3~!!!
DING DING DING~!!!
CL: New champs…AGAIN.
CM: Well, the better team or guys won.
MA: Your winners by pin fall and your NEW Full Intensity Wrestling Tag Team Champions of the World…THEY! ARE! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRDCOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRE SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEXXXX~!!!
Cobra Starship starts playing again, and Felix and Steve sigh in relief and look far more relaxed now that they’ve done it. The fans applaud all three men’s efforts as Tony presents Hardcore Sex with the championships that are theirs to call their own again tonight. Onikage slides into the ring and aids his charges in getting up to their feet and they fight to stay up as they move over to the near corners & hop up onto them. FIW’s Morning Star stands in the center as on each corner Felix and Steve hold their championships over their heads.
CM: This night has been nuts!
JH: That it has Chip, a lot of unpredictable and questionable happenings. What has gotten into Tier? What is going on with the Dual Crown title situation? Who truly is the most dominant force in the tag team division? When will Ethan cash in his title shot? Will Prime ever get his hands on Crackerjack? Will things be peaceful still between Cracker and Kiyoshi in the Reject camp after tonight? And, what will happen between Hembra and Jaime, let alone Roxie?! A-
CL: Hitchen, shut the fuck up, we’re all out of time because of your annoying rambles. They’re Chip and Hitchen, I’m Constance, we’ll see you next week…you wouldn’t FUCKING DARE miss it!